Every title on the line in one night. What a fantastic opportunity to explain to the entire “WWE Universe” (yes I used that sarcastically) that the company has too many titles and too many title holders that don’t hold the public attention.
You can see why they turned me down for that marketing job with WWE can’t you?
By the way, if you go to the WWE website and get asked to do a survey, it’s all about Gillette. I just went there and expected to be asked searching questions about their TV shows and storylines, but instead it asked me about my Razor.
“What do you think about the Razor?” it said.
“He was awesome in his ladder matches with Shawn, but I didn’t care for the Goldust programme” I replied.
Anyway, it is Night of Champions tonight, where there is a possibility that I have opened up the prospect of looking forward to something which will likely be a massive letdown. The old mystery partner thing. More on that later. Let us now run down the card.
Michelle McCool v Melina (Divas championship, I think) (Frankly, Who cares?)
Oh dear God I have to sit through another Michelle McCool PPV match. When you have about 12 divas in the company, and about 4 of them can actually work, it is so pathetic having two title. Have a unified one like the tag titles, and let one of the talented girls work all brands.
Melina is the kind of worker who can add to a match with a talented worker. In fact, her matches with Beth Phoenix have been some of the best women’s matches of recent times. McCool, though, is torture to watch. I hate saying things like this sometimes, because she may well be a very nice person, and I’m sat behind a computer screen slagging her off. Well, I’m a jolly nice chap, and she may hate my writing style. I don’t care. Her prerogative.
Anyway, this match is not going to be the highlight of my evening. I think they’ll spin Maryse v Mickie out for another month (I’m giving away my future predictions here, aren’t I?) with a Maryse win, so I’ll take Melina to have this one to balance things out.
Prediction – Melina
Maryse v Mickie James (the other female title, probable the Women’s one)
Err, I’ve already said, haven’t I?
To be fair, this has been a tidy little programme, at least giving the impression they’ve given some thought into it. I still want to see heel Mickie again, because she was really awesome, but I’m glad that her babyface character is back in high profile again. Lord knows what Beth has done to piss someone off.
I’ll take Maryse to win by foul means, foot on the ropes or something similar.
Prediction – Maryse
And another thing.......All participants in female matches at Night of Champions have names beginning with M. And I believe they are all their real names. There you, hard hitting wrestling journalism at its very best.
Christian v Tommy Dreamer (ECW Title)
I’ll have to view this as though my theory that Christian could be Chris Jericho’s mystery partner is incorrect, I guess, because it is admittedly unlikely.
The thing to look at with this match is really how long they want to run with Dreamer as champion. Fair enough that they didn’t get rid of him as champ straight away, because they needed to give the run a bit of credence, but if they have him as the top man for too long, the pudgy fellow who has been a jobber for about five years will start to make the rest of the roster look bad.
In multi-man match it makes sense to have Dreamer go over, but in a one-on-one, it just makes no sense to have Dreamer best Christian.
But then, am I seriously thinking that Christian will be looked after by WWE?
Perhaps I’m being naive, who knows? It just seems highly unlikely to me that Dreamer would be booked to cleanly defeat Christian. I hope that is the case, anyway.
Prediction – Christian
Rey Mysterio v Dolph Ziggler
And here is another candidate for the Jericho partner. No, no, silly, not Rey Mysterio, but Mr Ziggler.
Ziggler has rather suddenly been given a sizable push, but could be really be put over Rey Mysterio? I wouldn’t think so, but I am suddenly looking forward to this match, so credit to WWE for positioning Ziggler as a genuine threat. After all, that is actually what wrestling is supposed to be about. Not Leprechaun embarrassing Mexicans, but two WRESTLERS competing and the audience having an interest in who wins.
I think that Ziggler is more likely to be given the spot as Jericho’s number two than the IC Champ, however. I just hope that this match is a good one, because it has the potential to be.
Prediction- Rey Mysterio
Kofi Kingston v Big Show v Miz v Carlito v Jack Swagger v MVP – US Title, six pack challenge
Firstly, apologies for calling Kofi the IC champ and not US champ this week.
But will he still be champ after tonight. I think he probably will, because I don’t see a lot of value in swapping a title in a match like this. To me, a wrestler should win a title to either underline his dominance, or to add value to his character. If the former, then you don’t really want to show how rubbish the opponents are.
To me, the only man who can win to show dominance is Big Show, and since a) no one wants to see that and b) it would ruin the rest of them it would be a pointless step.
Anyone else wins they are basically getting a bit lucky, due to the nature of the contest. You have four wrestlers in the match who you could make by giving them a title. Miz, Swagger, Carlito and MVP (especially the first two) would all benefit from a title win, but surely winning it in a straightforward one-on-one contest would hold more sway, and give them a better rub.
Anyway, that’s a convoluted way of saying that I don’t think they’ll switch the title. I can see the finish being Big Show destroying Swagger, Miz, MVP and Carlito, and then walking into a spinning Kofi Kick (I always forget its name – is it trouble in paradise?)
Prediction – Kofi Kingston to retain.
Tag Team title match – Chris Jericho and his mystery pal v Legacy
I’m not going through a big long look at the possible partners again, but realistically it’s Swagger, Christian, Miz or Ziggler, I would think. Somebody suggested Punk, but I don’t buy that. Can’t see it being Kendrick after his squash by the King.
A returnee? Chris Masters perhaps? Or Eugene? That second one is a joke, but surely Masters could be possible.
After that, it’s left field stuff, including Rick Steamboat and Shawn Michaels. I’m not saying they are likely, but they are possible.
These, though, would need a leap of faith that Jericho would turn face again, and this make so little sense it is untrue. Having lost Edge as a top heel, Jericho has to keep him place I would think. Even more so with the promise of Edge to come back as a babyface to feud with Jericho, possibly to Wrestlemania.
I think the most likely candidate, realistically, is Swagger. He has the smart-ass persona that would ingratiate himself to Jericho. I don’t see why they blew off the MVP feud as quickly as they did unless Swagger was lined up for something else. Perhaps even the Swagger Raw debut was with this in mind (although that probably falls down, since I think it was before Edge got injured). Character-wise Swagger simply compliments Jericho the best, and the fact that he is an up-and-comer who will benefit from the association would be even more reason to give him the gig.
Miz is possible, and I wouldn’t complain. It’d be entertaining. I hope it’s not Ziggler. I don’t see him as deserving as the last two mentioned. I’d love to see it be Christian, but I’m not overly hopeful. Not as much as I was when I tipped him nearly two weeks ago.
Oh fuck it, it’ll probably be bloody Great Khali, won’t it?
As for the match, I would assume that Jericho and partner win. Makes no sense otherwise.
This may well lead to Legacy being rebuked by Orton, and a further DiBiase babyface turn tease.
Prediction – Jericho and Swagger to win
World Heavyweight Title – Jeff Hardy v CM Punk
I thought there might have been a stipulation attached to this one, following on from the match last time. Because if CM Punk wants to get DQ-ed again, what is stopping him?
Here’s what I forsee happening. I will take Jeff Hardy to win the World Heavyweight Title this very evening, and he will do so after another restarted match.
This time, as opposed to Hardy defeating Punk only to see his foot under the ropes, we’ll get CM Punk once again getting disqualified, but since Teddy Long is still trying to impress Vinny Mac, he’ll controversially restart the match, saying to Punk that he doesn’t away that easy. Hardy hits a Swanton, new champion.
We then get Punk bitching about the decision on Smackdown and telling Long and Hardy what a cheap way to win a title that was, with the obvious irony being that he won it cheaply in the first place.
We then book Hardy v Punk III, perhaps in a cage or simply no DQ, for Summerslam.
This would tick all boxes. You’d have a victory and a title run for Hardy before he has a hiatus. You have Punk getting a couple of comeuppances, but still maintaining his stance of doing nothing wrong.
Prediction – Hardy to win, eventually
Randy Orton v Triple H v John Cena
I’ll give you the prediction I’ve had in my head for ages, but I’ll temper it at the end with a new thought.
I’ll go with Cena to win the title here. The fact that Triple H said that as long as Orton loses he’ll be happy might have been more important than we initially realised. I’d say Cena wins and becomes champ, opens Raw, and is cut off by Triple H, demanding a shot at him. This would eventually lead to Game v Cena at Summerslam. It’s been brewing, and although we’ve been there before, I actually think it would work right now.
To add a little bit of spice, I’d have a guest host (Maybe Shaq tomorrow) book Orton v Cena in Randy’s mandatory rematch on Raw to have a hot main event on TV. Cena can win this reasonably clean, after DiBiase screws up a run in, and then Randy has no logical claim to have number one contendership.
That’s how I projected things last week, but suddenly I realise that leaves nothing for Orton at Summerslam. He is too big a name to leave off the card, but has no logical opponent. You can’t suddenly have him wrestling MVP for no reason, and they best not pull out DiBiase v Orton now and have a Lergacy break up. They could roll this all the way to Survivor Series or even beyond.
Perhaps it makes more sense for Orton to retain, and Cena v Triple H to just be a grudge match. Orton could then face a new challenger for the belt (Oh God it would be Mark Henry, wouldn’t it?) with less need for a backstory for the match.
I wouldn’t like to see Orton win, mainly because it would mean the same winner that came from the Wrestlemania 24 match between this trio. WWE are getting enough grief (some of it from me) for rehashing the same old stuff, they need to make sure they don’t tread even closer to the line they have already drawn.
Prediction – John Cena.......I think
Enjoy the show folks, I’ll be back with my patented Live Blog for this one.
LATE UPDATE – I’ve seen on Chris Jericho’s Twtter page that he says his partner will be EVIL. That hints towards Kane.........or Taka Michinoku.