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Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Chris Jericho to return to Raw?

Welcome to

I've never seen anything like it. a simple 14 second or so promo, full of flashing and scrolling computer code shown on RAW this week has set many tongues a-wagging. Many voices seem to be contending that this signals the impending return of none other than Chris Jericho.

That certainly would be fitting. Chris Jericho jumped to RAW when wrestling was at a high point in 1999, and he interupted The Rock in the middle of a promo. It was arguably up there with any debut of any wrestler.....ever. If he was to return, it wouldn't be quietly, with little fuss.

There appear to be many clues as to the fact that it is a sign of the return of Y2J. Here are just a few reasons given........

  • RAW.REV.MAY2 is on the screen at one point. May 2 was the date Jericho won the IC title in 2000.
  • the word "catman" is on the screen many times. This could be a reference to Jericho's former nickname of "Lionheart'. His book is also called 'A Lion's Tale'
  • The most significant line throughout the video is save_us.222- signs have been seen of late stating "save us Y2J"
  • Jericho is on a book tour, but has all mondays in October free, ditto the first two mondays in November.
  • WM_triple appears on screen at one point. Jericho had a triple threat match at his first Wrestlemania, in 2000.
  • The end of the video ends in a countdown.
  • Jericho debuted at the Allstate Arena in Chicago. Guess where No Mercy is this year?
  • When he debuted, Jericho claimed he was coming to save the WWF
  • Apparantly CD_VOLUME4_1 features in the video. Jericho's theme music was track one on the WWE Music volume 4.
  • 7OCT also features. This is the date of No Mercy.
  • One of the most frequenty references is to 222. Some have suggested this is an allusion to Joshua 2:2 in the bible, which proclaims: "And it was told the king of Jericho, saying, Behold, there came men in hither to night of the children of Israel to search out the country."

The final bullet point I find interesting. I did a little more digging. Check these out.

The second book of the bible is Exodus. Exodus 2:2 is "And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months. " - Hornswoggle and the reveal of his mum?

Esther 2:2 - "Then said the king's servants that ministered unto him, Let there be fair young virgins sought for the king" - Oh Jerry Lawler, will you never learn?

Numbers 2:22 - "Then the tribe of Benjamin: and the captain of the sons of Benjamin shall be Abidan the son of Gideoni." Shelton?

JBL? A man who is a master of savings, and a firm proponent of the US (United States) Job 22:2 "Can a man be profitable unto God, as he that is wise may be profitable unto himself?" A wrestling God?

The I'm back phrase which is in there is telling. That indicates its a video to hype a returning superstar. I've heard Billy Gunn thrown out there as a possible, and even Sid Justice.

Anyway, this could simply be a Cyber Sunday promo with a few Y2J references thrown in for intrigue. The WWE often throw things out there for the marks to pick up on. Maybe its just something to generate interest, and not a return at all.

I'm going to keep my ear to the ground on this one. But if it is Jericho, then I guess we will never, eeeeeeeeeeeeeever, be the same again.

Monday, 17 September 2007

Unforgiven? Unfullin' more like.......

Its mere seconds before yet another WWE Pay Per View, and as is customary I am trying to decide whether I should be looking forward to it or not; how high my expectation level should be. Although, I should note, here in the UK this is a free show.

I think the performance level, the match standards, will be generally average. Cena and Orton told a great story last time, and with competitors like CM Punk, Elijah Burke, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Carlito, MVP and Matt Hardy on the undercard, you’re looking at a decent quality of performer. But no matches jump at you as being set for a classic.

I also think that a few title may change hands, including maybe Cena and Khali giving up their coveted belts.

The video package to open the show is all about the Undertaker. Whomever wins the belt on Smackdown may well face the Deadman sooner rather than later.

Now I think about it, Khali winning the match and retaining the strap makes more sense. Who better to take the belt off him than Taker?

The ECW title is so important, apparently, that it will open the show. Elijah Burke, the number one contender, isn’t important enough to even have his entrance televised. Instead, highlights of Punk winning the belt are shown, presumably to an audience who only watches ECW matches when they are on Pay Per View, rather than actually watching the wretched show.

Plenty into the opener, a decent match at that. Burke just used rolling German suplexes. Haven’t seen that......oh, right, yeah. I’m saying nothing.

CM Punk retains in very solid opener.

I like matches like that, where both guys use some technical moves, and the win comes from an unexpected source. No GTS or Elijah Experience attempts, but a quick roll up for a win.

Very Bret Hart like. Hitman used to wrestle well, take a hell of a beating, sell his ass off, and would actually rarely win with the Sharpshooter. Great stuff from Punk, Burke no slouch either.

Haha, Cole looks a moron as he so often does. He referred to Smackdown 6 weeks ago about 0.63 of a second before ‘7 weeks ago’ popped up on a bracket. Anyway, a small matter, as we are about to see MVP/Matt Hardy v Deuce & Domino.

JBL describes the tag pairing of Porter and Hardy being like Mother Teresa and Britney Spears teaming up. I hope not. Vignettes of Matt Hardy talking to sick people around the globe will be Ludvig Borga-like in boredom, and I sure as hell don’t want to see MVP coming out of his little inflatable entrance with no underwear on. I was never confused.

01.30amThe tag title match is well underway, with Matt and Montel antagonising each other, but dominating the match. This could be against anyone really.

I believe it is Domino in the ring right now. I don’t care for his wrestling, but his Pizzas aren’t bad. He tastes them himself, you know. Only the other day I heard that Deuce saw him munching on Cherry’s pie. Said it tasted of Anchovies.

Well, I nearly got that right. I thought MVP would properly desert Matt, but they decided to keep the belts on the ‘dysfunctional duo’. And aside from predicting wrongly, I don’t mind, because these two play their roles well, and I find them probably the most entertaining thing on Smackdown.

Game/Carli next.

Triple H is out first – are we going for faces first tonight in every match? Unusual.
I decide to look up ‘Genibus Nitito Canus’, which basically means “On your knees, dog”. So, that’s how he proposed to Stephanie.

(NOTE: That’s a bit harsh, and yes I did write that for the cheap gag. I would like to point out that regardless of creative, backstage decisions, if Stephanie didn’t have a ridiculous set of implants and a ‘nails on a chalkboard’ voice, she’d be the most attractive female in the company.
Except Maria, I love Maria.)

JR has just referred to Carlito’s prolonged use of Trash cans in this match by calling young Colon a ‘carribean Garbageman’. Now that is a missed gimmick if ever I saw one.

Duke “The Dumpster” Gonzalez.

01.56amThe thing is sealed with a low blow. Which, incidentally, is how Stephanie accepted the proposal (look, I can’t help it, ok?).

Triple H finishes the match with a Pedigree, and with the WWE in the midst of Drugs controversy, ends up with white powder all over his face.

“Hello, is that United States congress?”

02.00amWe are a third of the way through the allotted time, and I would like to report the lack of Leprechauns thus far.

Batista cuts a generic promo about getting his title back. Maria does the interviewing, and looks amazing as always.

Then comes a shot of Candice followed by Beth Phoenix. Making Maria look even better.

Ah, maybe I have it. It isn’t faces that get announced first, its winners. Beth is out first here.

Here comes Techno Candice. I just don’t get what they are trying to push on us with Candice. A year after the original retired, they are blatantly trying to copy the formula that made Trish as popular as she was. Or maybe its a female John Cena?

But, as nice as I’m sure Candice is (by all accounts, she is a very sweet and hard working person) Trish had a better personality, had better promo skills, worked effectively as face or heel, and could wrestle. Looks department you can argue all you like, but I’d take Trish in that category too. Add in the fact that Candice bumps like a Marshmallow falling on a cushion, I’m not convinced.

Liechtenstein alert.

Oh, come on! I’m hoping that the lack of title changing activity thus far is an indication that we’ll see some further down the line tonight.

To be fair, although I’m annoyed that Candice won, the match was ok by usual standards, with a decent wrestling counter to finish. But it just isn’t believable that Beth wouldn’t destroy Candice.
Cool piece of imagery as Khali crushes a masked cantaloupe representing Rey Mysterio and a Watermelon supposed to symbolise Batista. Punjabischoff then goes into a bizarre chant somewhat resembling Cassius Clay’s “Ali Bumbaye!” chant.

You can do your own McMahon/Hornswaggle/Grapefruits joke.

Holy Spinebusters, we have a new champion. You know what they say, 236th time lucky.

Batista wins a typical triple threat, and one assumes a Rey v Batista friendly rivalry programme will now take place.

To be fair, it was pretty good this, considering the limitations provided by the line up. I’m just glad that the belt is off Khali, but Smackdown is really starved of a top heel. Batista, Rey, Taker, Kane, Flair all are high on the babyface list. Its only Khali and Henry on the other side really.

Bastard – there’s that darn leprechaun. So we get to see the McMahon (little and large) on RAW. Cool. Forgive me if I am not trembling with excitement.

Triple H encounters Batista backstage, and they share a moment over the title. I wonder if that’s the last time we see a former member of evolution with a belt tonight.

Tag team titles with Londrick and, erm, Maid?

Reasonably standard tag team fare from these two, but that is not meant as a criticism. Very solid, but again unspectacular.

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record, but WWE PPVs consistently fail to produce enough great matches and/or shocks. The thing is, with another on 3 weeks away, we’ll probably get a very similar car for No Mercy.

Cena and Orton have to deliver, big time.

Err...........I make it 45 minutes before three hours is up. Cena is DQ-ed for punishing Orton too much, and post-match Cena Senior kicks Orton square in the mush.

Is that it?

Oh yeah, Taker match. I kid you not I thought that was show over, I was starting a rant about the show not delivering.

Maybe something big is going to go down in the Taker match? Nah, probably more likely to be a way of finishing the show with a Taker win rather than a crappy DQ ending. ]

Apparently, according to JBL, what Mark Henry has was given to him by God.

How long has God been issuing ten year contracts?

Oh, the Undertaker won, quelle surprise.
Just how stupid is Henry? “He tried to powerbomb me and I blocked him. I rule all. I know, I’ll climb to the middle rope so as to advance the process a couple of stages”. Just so, so poor.

Michael Cole closes the show, and among his last words tonight are “Don’t be afraid, be terrified”.

Oh, I am Mikey Boy. I’m terrified that next month I’ll have to pay actual money to watch this garbage.

Poor, poor show, because if you go by the fact that the two last matches are the main and semi main, they were very dull and left us very unfulfilled.

I will not be forgiving the WWE in a hurry for that.

Sunday, 16 September 2007

Unforgiven: its not even a word, you know........

Apologies for the short update here, but I have very little time.

I'll rattle through all the matches, give my opinion, and then I'll be back at the end of the Pay Per View with my usual post-PPV, as-live thoughts.

So then........

Smackdown Tag Team Title match: Deuce and Domino v Matt Hardy & MVP.
I have been massively impressed by the improvement of MVP over the last 12 months or so, and it was a huge blow to see him held back by the news of his Heart problems. It seems that having him compete in Tag Matches is the way to keep him going.
The MVP/Matt pairing has chemistry, the classic protagonist/antagonist relationship, and I would suggest this is how we will move forward. Look for The Greasers to regain their straps, when MVP walks out on Hardy.

RAW Tag Team title match: London & Kendrick v Cade & Murdoch
I'd expect this to be a good one, possibly a show opener, and I'd tend to say that it would be The so-called Redneck Wrecking Crew who will prevail. I love London & Kendrick, and would be happy to see them more often, but they are precisely the kind of wrestlers that the WWE likes to trot out as show ponies every now and again, but will stick with the tried and tested 'characters'. That said, I like Cade and Murdoch, who are far more enjoyable and old school than the dressed up Deuce and Domino will ever be.
The only way Londrick gets a win is if WWE decides to finally get behind Lance Cade. They have been threatening to do so for a long time. I'd say a singles title for him before the end of 2008.

Women's Title Match: Beth Phoenix v Candice Michelle
I can't see past Beth in this match. Only makes good sense to create a monster heel of a champion to reign for a while, dominate the women's scene, then attempt to build up an honest, hard-working Babyface as a conquerer of sorts. Candice Michelle looks as if she is the pet project right now, and it wouldn't surprise me to see Beth continue to dominate the scene, with Candice eventually getting the best of the 'Glamazon'. Not tonight, though. Beth to win.

ECW Title: CM Punk v Elijah Burke
In order to determine the order in which I'd write these predictions, I checked the site, and worked from the bottom up. So, according to them, this is the 5th most important match. Hmm, 3 equal brands my ass.

Anyway, this hasn't really been built up much, and though I like Burke, I'd think that Punk would be keep over, and that the rumour I've heard which suggests that he'll keep the belt until Nitro returns is quite likely. CM to win.

Triple H v Carlito
If you think this is going to be anything other than a Triple H win, then I'd take issue with you. I want to know where the whole Mr. McMahon angle is going in regards to Trips, because he has been involved all the way since he got back. I also don't know how long until HBK comes back, and that would be interesting to know, really.
Can't see The Game losing, but I'm intrigued as to where they take him. I'm wondering whether they'll now think in terms that he is bigger than the belt, and putting the strap on him woon't help him any. I'm not sure. I'll take him to win tonight, maybe in the face of mighty interference on the part of Hornswoggle McMahon (I can't believe I'm writing that).

Undertaker v Mark Henry
Err, return of the dead man? Come on, Mark Henry has about about as much chance as Chavo Guererro and King Booker did in their matches against Triple H and Rey Mysterio. Short one, Taker to win comfortably.

World Heavyweight Title - Great Khali v Batista v Rey Mysterio
This one has me puzzled a bit. I am leaning towards Mysterio more than I was. Originally, I'd have said that my money would have been on Kahli retaining, but the addition of Batista has made me think twice.

The reason being that if you have Great Khali v Rey Mysterio, and you want to belt to go onto Rey, how do you make that believable? Answer is, you can't. Add Big Dave into the mix, and all of a sudden you have you have a plausible way. After a battle between them all, you let Batista blast the Punjabi giant with a Spinebuster or spear or something, and have Rey basically steal one.

I'm more tentative about this call than any other. But I'll take Mysterio to regain the strap.

John Cena v Randy Orton
Usually, when you have a main event decided in a clean finish and then you have a rematch a few weeks later, it annoys me, because firstly what says the result will be different, and secondly why does the contender deserve another shot?

This time, it has been well executed, with Orton's cold persona going a step further and attacking John Cena Senior (or Cenia, I suppose). Here's my theory. The belt was going over to Orton, but the web got wind of it. Vince opted to swerve those who think they are in the know, and kept the belt on Cena. This time, with opinions a little more wavy, the title does switch, and this also is another avenue in which Triple H can get involved in the title picture, with his hostory with Orton.

Orton to win.

Thats all for now, update available just after the PPV.

Monday, 10 September 2007

I believe Vince's son is..............

So tonight is the night when we find out just who Vinny Mac's l'il boy is. And it ain't Booker T. Sucka.

It seems the man formerly known as GI Bro has gone off in a Huff, man.

Have you noticed that pretty much any wrestling site you go to - news, columns, opinion, funny stuff. No one is telling you who the bastard son is. Sure, we all knew it was originally Mr Kennedy, but most seem to have their mouths and keyboards shut.

So, in order to work it out, I'm going to take you on a whistlestop tour of the roster. Lets start with Raw.

Cena? No point, too big a name. Also wasn't around the ring when Vince said it was a superstar

Jeff Hardy? For the sheer fact that he has nothing else going on, he could be the man. However, this role is going to require a great deal of time with mic in hand or acting with Vince and Trips. Jeff's strong suit is not his promo skills.

Cade & Murdoch? Not big enough names, and in programme with Londrick.

Lashley? Too injured

Brian Kendrick & Paul London? See Cade/Murdoch and flip the names.

Carlito? hmmm. Is facing Triple H this week, and The Game will surely be involved in this angle long term. Carlito is good on the mic, and is of the level that needs to be elevated. However, Carlito's father is legendary grappler Carlos Colon, so you would doubt that would be contested.

Charlie Haas? Nope.

Cody Rhodes? Once again, he is best known for being Dusty's boy. Can't be.

Daivari? A joke foreign heel? Not a prayer. (leave it)

Duggan? Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Lawler? Of course not.

Coach? No, but thankyou for asking, Sir?

King Booker? Hahahahahahahaaha. Sucka.

Mr Kennedy? Absolutely no chance.

Randy Orton? Cowboy Bob and the fact that he wasn't around the ring say no for him. This is a rumour killer.

The Highlanders? Ahh, those modern day Bushwhackers, what happened to them? Anyway, its not them. Vince isn't ginger for a start.

Santino? If he didn't suck in the ring, and his build up wasn't so crap, then this would be more feasible. He is more likely than most mentioned thus far. But still no.

Sandman? I shouldn't have thought so.

Shawn Michaels? Unlikely, although if they have a convaluted script on hand, they might try to use his star power to boost the angle. He doesn't have to wrestle for a bit, and they could play off his chemistry and history with Trips and Vince. Possible, but unlikely.

Shelton Benjamin? I jokingly wrote about an encounter between Vince and Momma Benjamin, but honestly, and I don't mean this in a racist way, he'd be a proper candidate if he wasn't black. I think it being a black man would be too complicated in a genetic manner. Sorry Shelton. In a side note, though, he is due a push again.

Snitsky? No. But if I'm wrong, it isn't my fault.

Super Crazy? ay, ay, ay. No es bueno.

Triple H? The Game is the central antagonist in this whole thing, he cannot be the son. That throws into the question the fact that Triple H married his Even the

Umaga? Regal? Nope, suspended and have no chance.

Val Venis? yep, thats it. a 36 year old jobber. (note sarcasm)

So thats Raw.

Now, the thing is, ECW and Smackdown were both taped last night. You'd think that if someone was Vince's son, they would not just go and wrestle on smackdown or ECW, with no explanation. So by that logic, it could well be someone who didn't take part in the ECW or Smackdown tapings last night. So lets take a list of ECW and SD wrestlers who did not take part in the taping.

John Morrison, Marcus Cor Von, Dave Taylor, Chavo Guererro, Hardcore Holly, Edge, Helms, Funaki, Ric Flair.

Morrison, Chavo, and Funaki are absent due to the steroid scandal. Helms and Edge are too, but are injured. Cor Von is a long term absentee because of a personal issue. Holly is injured, Flair as we know is having one or two issues with WWE at the moment. Dave Taylor is not a lot more than a jobber, and has barely been seen since Regal went to Raw.

By the laid out criteria that it can't be anyone from Raw that we've worked out, and that it could be someone who should have been on Smackdown..............then it leaves two men.

Rey Mysterio and Hornswoggle.

Please god tell it can't be Hornswoggle. You can't involve Triple H, Mr Kennedy, the whole McMahon clan, and then have it be Hornswoggle. No way. (I hope)

Rey Mysterio wasn't around the ring, which would stand against him, but I think he has the most chance of anyone else.

He had a major altercation with Vince for seemingly no reason a while back. "Things are looking up" could well be a swerve so that you think its Kane or Khali or something, but its actually the short Mysterio. He was not on Smackdown, and they have changed the SD main event for Unforgiven to include Batista. They could edit Rey right out of that. He is a main event level star that they could use.

One thing against is the fact that he has already been involved in a paternity thing with Eddie, and that might could against.

Anyway, that my guess, I'm going with Rey Mysterio. You (may have) heard it here first.

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Quick Raw Thoughts

Just got through watching RAW for Sept 4th – the first show after the announcement of suspensions.

So did this help us decide who may be gone? A little, but not entirely.

The names from Raw that were rumoured to be on the hitlist, in one way or another, were Mr. Kennedy, Intercontinental Champion Umaga, General Manager William Regal, Randy Orton, King Booker, Santino Marella and Charlie Haas.

So how did they all get on………….?

Mr. Kennedy: - Well, until the last 15 minutes or so of the show, Kenny Kenny was nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately, I had got wind of a little spoiler of the show, which was tape this week, so when the quartet of McMahons were chatting away in the ring, I knew he must show up at some point. Otherwise I think I might have popped privately for when he came through the curtain.

Well, anyway, he gave a great performance vocally, as per usual, where it was basically announced that he is not in fact Vince’s son. (we should find out next week). But that was basically a near certainty, really, that he would be the bastard son. That he isn’t has to taken as a sign that we won’t see him any more in this storyline.

Umaga: - The Samoan Bulldozer actually pulled a double header in the ring, and was all over the show. Not, I was thinking, the ideal way to de-push the man.

The IC title match was ok, but I felt the finish was weak. For an unstoppable savage, falling off the top rope and getting winded seemed a bit feeble to me. It strikes me that a small package or the like might have served the purpose better. Jeff Hardy didn’t come off as a strong character, and Umaga just came off as a bit clumsy and unable to fight being winded. If Jeff rolls him in an inside cradle, then at least it looks like Umaga was simply outsmarted. And Samoan savages don’t regularly win Mensa contests.

The last match on the show saw Umaga team up with Carlito for a meaningless handicap match Triple H, where a quick DQ ensued, but ended up with Umaga being destroyed by The Game, a chair, and, you’ve guessed it, a sledgehammer.

This all makes perfect sense. Umaga will serve his 30-day suspension, and return in four or five weeks to destroy Triple H. A Triple H and Umaga programme makes sense for two of the biggest names on Raw, possibly with Umaga being used as Vince’s hired gun again.

William Regal: - Regal was also featured significantly in the show, but not in his usual comedic role. Cena destroyed him after the GM showed a little compassion towards Randy Orton (more on him in a minute). Coach will fill in for a few weeks, then Regal will return when “fit again”. Possibly as more of a heel, trying to stack the odds against Cena.

Randy Orton:- It looks as if the WWE’s Teflon man is at it again. I never saw Orton compete when I was at the Raw show in London because he’d caused a ruckus in a hotel room in Italy. He didn’t get suspended or fired then.

He’s certainly been caught by the Wellness Policy in the past, and was implicated in the scandal here. Now, not that anyone else has officially been sanctioned, it seemed pretty clear from the way Raw went that several people are in trouble. Orton was advertised as being in the main event for the next Pay Per View. Seems he is safe.

Other have taken this quite badly. Seems it’s quite a kick in the teeth.

King Booker: - Jury out. Booker was wrestling in the main event last week, he wasn’t on the show at all this week. He doesn’t have an injury as far as I am aware. He isn’t long back from an injury and does have a territory to book, so there may be extenuating circumstances. We’ll see.

Santino Marella:- I think he will be ok. Essentially, very few people care about him, so to continue, albeit minor, his association with Maria, as well as introduce a link with Sandman. He also said his arm was getting better and threatened Ron Simmons.

On the flip side, they could suggest that his arm got damaged again and it keeps him out for a month. If you forced me to stake money, I’d say he stays.

Charlie Haas:- Newsflash. Haas loses a match. In other news, Dog Barks, night is dark and The Warrior says something mental. Who knows?

I will try to update later in the week, and we’ll take a genuine look at the Vince’s kid angle.