Wrestlemania week: First memories

I guess there is a certain irony that perhaps my favourite Wrestlemania is the arguably the worst in history.

It isn’t because of some kitsch value or because I don’t know what I’m on about (a point you might argue, however) but because it was the first one I remember thinking about for weeks, month on end. It was Wrestlemania 9 (or IX, if you prefer) from Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada. My young brain didn’t know that it wrestling terms it was a pile of old toss, instead I drank in the spectacle and knew I wanted to go to one of these events some day (If you’ve been following the Mania blogs this week, you’ll know I did so, 16 years later, in Houston, Texas. Scroll down and you’ll find I’ve told you all about it)

The first Wrestlemania I ever saw was actually Wrestlemania 8. Wrestling was something other kids at my school were into, and ever since one had leant me a copy of Summerslam ’91 on VHS – yes kids, a video tape – I knew I wanted to watch this bizarre new spectacle I’d been introduced to. However, WWF was only on Sky television, and my house did not have Sky until about February 1992.

Reading my mates’ wrestling magazines, playing wrestling top trumps and pretending to understand conversations was my education in wrestling until that wonderful day in 1992 when our Sky was installed. I kid you not – the very first thing that worked on that satellite system was wrestling. Maybe that was a sign. It was a Sid Justice squash match. I watched Mania a few weeks later, but I was still very much on a learning curve.

By the time Wrestlemania 9 was occurring, I was obsessed. I watched every show I could. WWF Mania Saturday morning, WWF Superstars Saturday night, WWF Wrestling Challenge Sunday mornings. Heaven. I was a huge Bret Hart fan as a kid (still am) and so the whole build for me was about Bret v Yokozuna. The other aspect of the build I remember massively was Tatanka beating Shawn Michaels in a non-title match (The Native American was still unbeaten at this point) on Superstars and the crowd going crazy. I still think much could be learned from the booking of a secondary title on a heel the way Michaels carried that IC belt.

I loved Wrestlemania 9. I now know it sucked, but I was so immersed in the WWF at this point, completely sold on how much I loved Bret Hart, Randy Savage, The Steiner Brothers and Mr Perfect, totally in love with wrestling.

I think I knew it was a work. Obviously I didn’t understand the inner workings of the business (maybe I still don’t!!) at the time, but I can’t ever recall thinking “this is real”. I think the only part of WM9 I hated at the time was the two Doinks nonsense. I loved that Doink character, and never liked Crush for some reason, but hated that finish. I had good taste from an early age.

Actually, no I didn’t, because I remember being intrigued by Giant Gonzales. Stupid boy I was.

Wrestlemania 10 was one of my favourite Manias, and still is to this day. I think it was a decent show, certainly for it’s time, and stands the test of time. HBK v Razor in a ladder match was so ahead of it’s time. And if you watch it is so different from the types of matches that involve ladders these days. It wasn’t a flipping and flopping X-Division style match, it was a TLC/MitB stunt show. It was still a psychological classic, it just happened to use a ladder as a weapon. Some of the bumps Shawn took were crazy.

As a Bret fan, obviously I was intrigued by Bret v Owen. That was one of my favourite feuds of my formative wrestling years. There are a couple of Bret Hart matches which are held in massively high regard that I’m not fond of – specifically versus Owen in the cage at Summerslam and HBK at Mania 12 – but the opening match against his brother was a cracking effort. It made Owen a star.

I’ve always loved watching shows from Madison Square Garden. WWF always did a good job of making it feel special, and I’ve always liked the fact that the aisle faces the hard camera, especially for Royal Rumbles.

Aside from a brief cameo from the likes of Burt Reynolds to ring announce or perform a similar job, the early Manias in my life were Celebrity free. WM11 was the I saw to be heavy on that. From Lawrence Taylor in the main event wrestling Bam Bam Bigelow to Pam Anderson accompanying Diesel to the ring. They don't always get it right with the celeb involvement, but it was one of the things that by this point started to make Mania feel that little bit special. You didn't get Salt and Pepa singing for Survivor Series. 

Tomorrow I'll talk some more about some of my favourite early mania memories. 

Wrestlemania Week, Day Two: My Wrestlemania experience

As part of my quest to give you a blog each day before Wrestlemania 27, I thought that today I would give you my story of the only Wrestlemania that I have seen in person.......so far.

If you have stumbled across this blog by accident, a quick catch up on who I am. I am currently the lead wrestling writer for top UK newspaper The Sun's website. I have been writing for the site for around five years, and started under the stewardship of Simon Rothstein, the Wrestling editor, who now works in PR for TNA.

Simon got to visit many Wrestlemanias, and was expected to go to the 25th incarnation of the Sports Entertainment phenomenon in 2009. However, he was invited to TNA Lockdown, which is typically scheduled near Mania, and could not justify a second trip to the States in a short space of time. I had been with Simon to TNA Bound for Glory the previous October, and was delighted when he said that I could attend Mania in his place.

Wrestlemania took place that year in Houston, Texas. I was delighted to learn when my travel details arrived that Joel Ross was also attended. For the uninitiated, Joel is one half of TV and radio duo JK and Joel. These days he is my co-host on The Sun's Wrestlecast, but this was long before I took Simon's place on that show. I had met Joel and his lovely girlfriend, Kat, on several occasions, so it was nice to know they would be attending, too.

Sadly, though, Joel inadvertently played a part in lessening my experience to a certain extent, though no blame ought to go to him or Simon, whose Wrestlecast with Ken Kennedy weeks before Mania hurt my trip from a work perspective.

Mr Kennedy - or Mr Anderson as he is now - joined the boys in the Wrestlecast studio and said one or two controversial things, as he is prone to doing. I like Ken; he's an interesting guy to chat to, and I've enjoyed meeting and interviewing him on several occasions, but he did say one or two things in that interview which were questionable, including some things about the Wellness Policy. Now if WWE don't like him saying that, then that's their issue to take up with Ken. As it was, they requested that The Sun edit out some of the more controversial statements. Simon - quite rightly, in my view - refused, and WWE prompted decided that we were to have our rights to interviews such as this taken away.

Of course, I stood by Simon's editorial decision. Not out of loyalty, but because I felt it was correct. However, this did me no favours. I was now travelling to Houston and staying in a very nice hotel on WWE's buck, but they were not allowing me any interviews while I was there. I don't really understand to this day why they did not pull the plug on my visit entirely. It would have saved them a few quid. Anyway, I'm not complaining.

I met Joel and Kat at Heathrow on the Thursday and we headed to Texas. I was delighted that my seat with my requested extra legroom was nice and roomy - but my TV didn't work. Thanks British Airways. They told me I could claim compensation. I never did get any money for that.

We arrived in Houston to blistering sunshine (I've spent just under three weeks in America, and I've yet to see it rain) and found Houston to be...........well, rubbish frankly. It's a bit of an urban, nondescript functional entity, really. However, I found my hotel to be very nice (The Hilton, if you must ask.) and noted it was directly opposite the arena for Raw and adjacent to the convention center where Ring of Honor and a Booker T wrestling convention were situated. After a pleasant evening where I was taken to dinner by our PR, along with a couple of guys from Sky Sports, Thursday was over. Mania weekend started in earnest on the Friday.

I met up with my good friends Richard and Matt Parr, who had traveled over as fans for the show. (Matt is a brilliant magician - http://www.mattparro.com/ - and would occasionally, during the weekend, entertain us all with close up tricks) Together we went into the Booker T convention, taking in some of the stands inside and watching as some great names from wrestling's past signed autographs and interacted with fans and each other. The atmosphere was great, and it was clear that Mania fever was in the air.

It was here that I met James Caldwell for the first time. James is the assistant editor of the Pro Wrestling Torch site (http://www.pwtorch.com/), a good writer, a great wrestling mind and most importantly a really nice guy. Now this meeting happened to be two media guys, but it does encapsulate the great thing about Wrestlemania in that you know that literally thousands of people are in close proximity being wrestling fans. There is a actually a liberating feeling about being able to express yourself as a true fan, sometimes. I'm sure many of you find in life that you aren't able to truly talk passionately about wrestling lest someone looks down on you or, perhaps worse, laughs at you. Here, it was total freedom. James and I spent a great while talking about all facets of wrestling, and have kept in regular touch since. I've been fortunate enough to participate in the PWTorch Livecast, an excellent radio call-in show, twice as a guest host. It's a great site.

Convention over with, Rich, Matt and I wandered upstairs to where Ring Of Honor was being held that night. Sadly I never got to see either of the ROH shows held that weekend due to scheduling conflicts, but the guys that did go gave the shows rave reviews. Perhaps my only regret of that weekend is that I didn't go to ROH instead of Axxess (we'll come to that).

We met Bryan Danielson as he was arriving at the building, and had a brief chat. He was very friendly, although didn't remember meeting me a few months previous. I mean, we were drinking together in a cricket club in Wolverhampton for goodness sakes. Who forgets nights in glamourous surroundings like that?? I also had a chat with D-Lo Brown, who I'd met previously when he was working with British fed VPW and was booked with ROH that week. D-Lo is a class act, and I've encountered him many times since in his capacity with TNA. A real gent.

Friday night saw a media dinner at the very swanky House of Blues establishment. As we were leaving our hotel in a convoy, a familiar face appeared at the front of our group. Think "Here comes the money" and you may have an idea of who I mean. It was of course Shane O Mac, and he showed, depending on your perspective, a sense of making young fans happy or a sense of seeing an opportunity in front of media folks as he dashed ahead of our group and chatted to a family or two emblazoned in WWE merchandise. I never got the chance to chat with Shane personally, but he seemed another class act throughout the evening.

On arrival in our exclusive bar, Joel and I asked advice on what WWE International head honcho Andrew Whittaker (nice guy, ridiculous slicked back haircut) was drinking. He called the beer "Dos Equis" (which I think means two horses) as the best beer, so Joel and I set about drinking the bar dry of it. (This was before I was Gluten Free, of course)

Now I can't remember what the topic of conversation was, but I know at some point I was talking to Joel and I mimed a headbutt. At exactly that moment, the beautiful Natalya (and she really is beautiful - TV doesn't do her justice) and Tyson Kidd approached us. They introduced themselves as Nattie and TJ, and we spoke with them informally for ten minutes or so. Nattie said she could tell I was British because of the headbutt. Flamin' cheek!

TJ was a little quiet, even shy, but Nattie was very sweet indeed. Could be a great interview someday. Carlito was also in attendance, but we never got to chat to him. Shane and other did short speeches thanking the international media, and then we ate. Well, we drank and there was some food around. I recall trying to eat prawns and forgetting to shell them. It was a good night.

On Saturday I did some of the less glamourous stuff which occurs on Mania weekend. In the morning I was at the finals of the Wrestlemania reading challenge, at which Layla, MVP, Mark Henry and Matt Hardy did their bit, and Linda McMahon was in attendance. I won't lie to you - the morning spent in the Houston Library for this event wasn't the most exciting I've ever had, but it was still cool to see kids (and parents actually) starstruck by some of their heroes, and learning at the same time. WWE get a lot of flak for certain things (sometimes by me, and sometimes quite rightly) but they do a lot of things which are for the betterment of their fans and society which they do no need to do.

In the afternoon, as a unit (which by then included then XFM DJ and now TV star in his own right Alex Zane) we went to Axxess. It was fine for what it was, but I'm not sure it was worth paying a great deal for. I've obviously got a nerve, because I didn't pay a penny, and maybe it's because I've always been a different type of fan, but I didn't find the selection of stalls (and the staggering hike in price of the food and beverages) all that interesting. There was quite a cool interview someone (Lillian I think) did with Randy Orton in a set up ring (they had some Velocity level matches in it) where he broke character a little, but on reflection I may have bunked off this and gone to ROH.

On Saturday evening we took our seats in the Toyota Center for the Hall of Fame. One of the first things that struck me was that the dress standards in the building was a little less than I would have liked. That might sound a bit stuffy, but TV's Joel Ross (I like calling him that), Kat and I had all popped on a whistle and flute or an appropriate dress (you can decide who wore what) for the occasion (Joel did buy the Stone Cold HOF shirt, though) and I liked the idea that it could feel like a formal occasion.

That aside, it was a nice night, seeing some major legends of wrestling (and Koko B Ware) inducted into the Hall, although the huge countdown clock did take some of the sheen off things, where you could see that certain talent were being forced to keep it briefer than they would have liked. That said, Michael Hayes, who was inducting The Von Erichs, did not seem all that concerned about time constraints!

The nicest thing about The Hall of Fame was that it made the whole Wrestlemania experience feel like a festival, or at least a multi-day event. It actually feels like part of Mania, and I love the tone of it, which is to acknowledge those that have (cliche time) paved the way for what Mania has become..........and Koko B Ware.

We left, on a snazzy luxurious coach (well, when I say "luxurious coach", I mean "luxurious mini-bus". And when I say "luxurious mini-bus", I of course mean "Mini-bus") for the Reliant Stadium at about 3pm on Sunday afternoon. While I don't wish to sound like a whiner - I have to keep reminding myself this was a freebie to Wrestlemania - we did spend about an hour just standing outside the stadium, and then a further hour or so sitting around inside a suite at the top of the building. It did lend itself to a funny story, though.

A room that we were hoarded into to begin with was rather nondescript, but soon someone discovered a door which led to a small box, which in turn looked onto the arena. In turns, many of us wandered into this box to look into the arena. A great many of the talents involved in Wrestlemania were preparing for their big night. It was an interesting insight.

However, fairly soon a WWE official caught some people (not me, I was well out of it) inside the room and demanded not only that they get out, but they show any pictures taken and delete them. Needless to say this was a tedious and unnecessary process. Talk about control freaks.

The media throng gradually increased as time wore on, and I'd say there were maybe a hundred journos assembled when we were introduced to first Nicole Scherzinger (she was singing America The Beautiful - and while she may be from the former, she isn't as close to the latter as you may think. She was 50% cardboard and 50% bitch. Ok, that's a bit harsh, but she was very dull and not at all attractive) and then the combo of Mickey Rourke, Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat. Ok, that was pretty cool. I never got to ask any questions, though.

My seat for the event was a perfectly decent one, in the first balcony as I recall. Now I've been to many football matches with huge crowds, but this was an impressive sight. 72,000 people in a roofed stadium was phenomenal.

I don't need to recall the event for you. Needless to say it was a pleasure to be present to see Shawn Michaels v Undertaker. From the elaborate entrances to the match itself, it was compelling from bell to bell. When Taker flew over the top rope and landed on his head, I thought the match was over. More than once I bought a false finish. It was truly the best spectacle I've ever seen at a wrestling event.

I mentioned this in yesterday's entry, but there is just something about Wrestlemania that brings out the best in wresting crowds, and I found myself watching the crowd almost as often as the ring. A very special occasion.

On Monday, after breakfast/lunch at House of Blues, Joel and I decided that it was only right to explore the cultural history and architectural delights that Houston had to offer. About four minutes later we were in a pub which, I'm not kidding, must have had 400 taps on the wall. The beer menu was four pages of A4, in small writing. It was amazing - check it out. http://www.beerknurd.com/stores/houston/

After sampling plenty of the beers on offer - it would have been rude not to, wouldn't it?  - explaining Joel several times that the pink beer in the slim glass I bought him was a mistake (he drank it though) and beating him hollow on a golf arcade game, we stumbled in the direction of the hotel, which was the meeting point for Raw. A couple of swift bottles of Corona with some WWE suits later and we headed for the arena. After some dark matches, Lillian launched into a splendid rendition of the US National Anthem - so splendid that Joel and I joined in. Loudly. I thought we were bloody marvelous, offering harmony and dignity to the anthem. Apparently, others thought differently, as a WWE suit (Australian) told us to be quiet and show some respect. Even Kat told us to shut up.

Looking back now, I wonder if perhaps we were a little drunk. :-)

Raw was fun though. Batista's shock return was the headline of the night, but my enduring memory will be not only seeing Rick Steamboat and chanting for him (see yesterday for grammatical accuracy) but watching CM Punk and Jeff Hardy on the apron openly grinning and basically marking out for Ricky. A fantastic moment.

On Tuesday, we flew home, but not until late in the day. It gave us time to check out the massive mall on the edge of the city, and I gave an interview to The Fight Network's John Pollock from the windy car park, while Ross tried to put me off. Prick.

It was a tremendous experience, and I would very much hope to get the opportunity to be invited again someday soon. I will certainly envy those in Atlanta this weekend.

Falling in Love again

There are two great loves of my life. Football (the UK version) and wrestling. I don't ever see that changing. However, the levels of the love do fluctuate somewhat. And I don't think they have ever ebbed and flowed as much as they have in 2010.

If you are here solely for the wrestling please stick with me here, all will become clear.......

For those not "soccer" savvy, my team, Plymouth Argyle, after 6-8 really good years, got relegated to football's third tier in May after a dismal season. And we didn't start the current one very well either. When you get relegated it is in your mind that you might bounce straight back up, but one win in our first six games (and that was the first one) didn't point to this being likely.

You can all this to my other footballing love, The England national team, bombing in spectacular circumstances at the World Cup. A World Cup in which great football was at a premium.

It wasn't just Argyle struggling - I felt football was struggling.

Eleven days ago, things started to change. An absolutely scintillating game with Sheffield Wednesday which we won 3-2 was one of the best games I've seen in years. Perhaps not for quality as compared to Championship or Premier League football, obviously, but in terms of action it was phenomenal. Admittedly we lost against Brighton four days later, but we then got a creditable draw at Rochdale.

I think football in general is in a great place again. The first six weeks or so of the season have seen, in all four leagues, incredible scorelines, great games, great goals, major shocks, loads of talking points. You feel anyone could beat anyone. Seriously.

Last night, as I type this, I traveled 140 miles or so to Swindon. I saw my team score in the fifth minute of injury time to record another thrilling 3-2 victory. We scored twice in the first eight minutes. We slipped back to 2-2. There were two red cards, one for either team. I shouted myself hoarse. Went from elation to panic to despair and right back up again. I celebrated like a mad thing when we got the winner. I can't stop thinking about the game. I'm finding myself smiling like an idiot periodically. Could this be the start of something? Could we win on Saturday? Could we go up?

Of course, it's highly likely we'll get stuffed on Saturday against Hartlepool, and it'll all be for nought. But for now, I'll enjoy the high.

I don't get that from wrestling anymore. I've had these lows before and bounced back, so I'm sure I will again, but there is nothing that excites me right now.

I was so high at the start of the year. Hogan and Bischoff joining TNA, the live Monday head-to-head on Jan 4, Bret Hart returning.........what a start. I loved the unpredictability of the new Monday War (The Monday Night Skirmish?), I thought the build to Mania was terrific - Taker and Shawn.....just wow.

That match was the one which made me feel like I did during that game at Swindon. Now I don't expect every wrestling match to do that, nor every football game. But it is nice to be taken on a story, to have some hope, to feel some emotion. Wrestling now is so stale. So predictable. So bland.

Of course I am talking about the "big two" companies. (ROH is doing a reasonable job, but has it;s limitations) I've been down on TNA for some time, as you know. Their booking in 2010 has been largely abysmal. A staggering run of illogical decisions and pushes has turned me off of their product entirely. I watch it now because it's my job. No more.

For a long while I felt WWE was massive superior. Right now they are still in front in my mind - but only marginally. At least TNA take chances. It seems WWE would rather have a paint by numbers show with minimal athleticism and a couple of zany jokes which keeps Vince McMahon occupied. They rallied for a few weeks with the introduction of the Nexus angle, but that had it's flaws.

When the Nexus debuted it was a brilliant moment - but don't forget it was a three hour show which sucked until that point. There was a terrific show where Cena introduced his team to face Nexus, culminating in the Bret Hart announcement. But after they were booked to lose in the big showdown, Raw fizzled out again.

Now Plymouth Argyle are MY team. I don't expect to feel like a wrestler like that. I don't expect to follow MY guy to the title. I'm beyond that now. I'm a reporter. An analyst. It's my job. But this means that I always know when a match or a show hits the heights, because it makes me FEEL something. This happens so rarely now it's sad.

To be fair, Hardy and Angle did it, despite the criticism it received. So did Daniel Bryan beating Miz in a way. Some parts of Nexus made me react. But mostly I feel nothing. It washes over me. Doesn't mean anything. This might just be me, but the dwindling ratings for both TNA and WWE suggests it isn't just me. There are a lot of people fed up right now.

There isn't a major star in either company people want to get behind and see their rise to the top. There is a Jeff Hardy circa 2008 when he was the hottest thing in wrestling by a long way. The fans were dying to cheer for Jericho but didn't get their wish. No-one cares about the babyfaces in TNA because there are no major heels. Not one. At least in WWE they have had, in the last two years, Edge, Orton, Jericho, Sheamus, Miz and CM Punk feel convincing as heels you want to see beaten. TNA have a cartoon monster who is a derivation of Kane and a heel stable full of talented young fellas and led by a legend. People won't boo AJ. They won't boo Flair. They won't boo Fortune.

So no-one gets over. They have murdered the Kurt Angle retirement issue. That's a joke. RVD's injury is bizarre. Hardy looks half the man (or twice the man, I guess) that he was. Anderson's act is a lot of fun, but he's the fun second or third babyface figure, not a franchise guy you can build around. They've made Joe (who I think might be most talented wrestler in the world - at least the most fun to watch) look like a moron.

The most worrying thing is that apart from The Miz I can't think of a single wrestler who hasn't won a world title that I think either company could get behind and make something of. At risk of going all Joe McElderberry, it isn't just the winning of the belt, it's The Climb. That was why Hardy's push worked. It's why it was emotional when Benoit and Guerrero won gold. It's why they made a big thing out of HBK beating Bret and "the boyhood dream" coming true. It's people loved Mick Foley in the late 90s. Crikey, even Austin was the most popular wrestler in the world for about a year before he won the World Title at Wrestlemania.

I can't foresee a brand new concept executed well. I can't envisage a change in vision on either side. I can't pick out a wrestler to break out.

Mind you, three weeks ago I thought Argyle would be struggling to even stay in the league. Now I believe again. I think we can go up. Not only that, but I think I'll be entertained along the road.

I'm sure wrestling will recapture my heart at some point. But for some it will be too late.

I'm holding out hope for something major to be just around the corner. You'll know when it happens, because the pop will be heard for miles.

Raw #8

It's the eighth ever episode of Monday Night Raw, and its with......hmm, a little message to inform us all that the show has been pre-recorded. Ok. Straight after that, it's Hogan time. In a studio along with Brutus and Jimmy, on full hype mode for a match against Money Inc. Hogan calls his partner "Brutus the Barber Bionic" at one point.

Brutus says something irrelevant about putting title belts on their Harleys, then Hogan sings a song from The King and I. No, I'm not kidding, he sang a song from The King and I. Admittedly his singing was a two on the Jillian Hall scale, but he sang nonetheless. "Getting to know you". He tells Money Inc they have a surprise for them (I genuinely can't think what that is) before all three do the "From New York, it's Monday Night Raw" bit, although they can't say 'Live'. Because it isn't. They do, however, add "Whatcha Gonna do?"

The annoying Raw titles play. The even more annoying siren sounds afterwards. Then Vince introduces us to the ludicrously annoying Rob Bartlett. Good start, then.

Vince references the abysmal Elvis stuff from last week for some reason, before Macho Man launches into a run-on sentence which I think ended with him saying that Money INc are wrestling Virgil and Tito Santana, but don't quote me on it. Bartlett shouts, albeit with no emotion at all, that he's looking forward to Rick Martel v Mr Perfect.

After a very obvious cut (not live, you see) Virgil and Tito emerge. Tito is, of course, El Matador at this point, in full bullfighting gear. I wonder how well that would go down these days? They may well have PETA onto them. Perhaps Tito is coming to mop up the bull coming out of Bartlett's mouth.

Good heat for Ted DiBiase and IRS, the tag champs, who of course have a history with Virgil. IRS says to the audience that tax cheats with have to pay thanks to Bill Clinton. Err, ok, thanks for that. Tito gets the better of Ted and tags in Virgil, so DiBiase quickly tags out to IRS. Crowd are really hot for chanting "Irwin" at Shyster.

The faces are well on top early on here, and for some reason they are cheating behind the ref's back with fake tags. Makes no sense. Vince says that the Nasty Boys stepped aside to let the Mega Maniacs have their title shots. And Hogan is still finding them work seventeen years later.

We come back after a break and Money Inc are on top. Eventually Tito tags out, and Virgil fires off some.......very unconvincing offense. He is soon tripped by Ted, allowing IRS to hit a back suplex. And, wow, that's it. Do you know what, when I think about it, I don't remember IRS having a finisher. Anyone?

Clips are aired of Tatanka getting the better of Shawn Michaels a lot recently, before The Model wanders down to ringside. He isn't here to wrestle yet, apparently, but to criticise the dress sense of one of the Raw girls. Obviously he does this whilst wearing a sailor's hat, red white and blue smoking jacket and pink boots. Yikes. The lady takes the criticism in good part, and Martel does her job briefly, to a chorus of boos. Cute little segment.

Tatanka is in action next. I never really understood the popularity of Tatanka, and lets be certain, he was pretty hot at this stage. He'd been booked well - he is undefeated at this stage, and had been for over a year. His opponent here is Bill Apollo, I believe. No, I don't know either.

Tatanka, after a very slow opening exchange, hip-tosses his opponent to the outside, before indulging in about 40 minutes worth of Irish Whips and chops. Vince gets Michaels on the phone, who says Tatanka rolled the dice and got lucky twice, but it'll come up Snake Eyes in Las Vegas. Nice analogy. I see a future in this boy.

Tatanka misses an elbow, allowing Apollo to land a couple of right hands and kicks. When he slams Tatanka's head into the buckle, he does his Hulking Up thing. (What do we call this, Tanking up?) He then hits a bunch of chops before The End of the Trail. No name-check for the move yet. He must have named it later down the line.

Gene Mean does another Mania report. He leads with Mega Maniacs v Money Inc. He says it's a double main event, and goes to comments from Bret, and then some from Mr Fuji on behalf of Yokozuma. (He still says it with an 'M') Next is Paul Bearer and Undertaker threatening Giant Gonzalez. Gene Mean says it's going to be best Wrestlemania ever, then gives a wooden statement towards McMahon, saying that the Model isn't 'perfect' at being a Raw ring girl, or something. That was the thing I hated about the Mr Perfect gimmick. Every promo was just a pun on Perfect all the time. That wasn't so bad when he was a heel, because it was supposed to be annoying. I don't think it worked when he was a babyface.

Martel gives another lesson to a ring girl, while Vince sends us to a break promising Papa Shango coming next. I was terrified of Shango as a kid. Seriously. I was petrified. I'm probably over the worst now.

When Shango does appear, I can't help but notice the difference between then and now in terms of presentation. There is no tron at this stage. The music Shango has is bland. He gets to the ring quickly. There is no dimming of lights. If he as a character came along now, they'd play this up, bbig style. I suppose the nearest example is probably The Boogeyman, and look what they did with him.

Mike Edwards is the sorcerers apprentice for this one. I'm not I can recall seeing a Shango match where he doesn't use his magical voodoo powers. Let's see what we get here.

Well, it's an easy squash. About a minute, and four moves, in Shango goes for a pin and then does the heel thing of raising the opponent up to prevent the three count. Don't see that much any more.

The commentators talking about the Model v Perfect. Savage says he wants the Model to lose because of what he is doing to the Raw girls. Bartlett - and I am not making this up - says to Vince "I thought you told me Mr Perfect was going to win". Seriously. I think he was trying to a bit post-modern with the irony, but his delivery sucks, and he ended up sounding like he got a bit lost in kayfabe.

Shango wins with an inverted shoulderbreaker which Vince calls thus: "Shoulderbreaker........that might have broken the back." Sometimes I feel bad for my (endless) criticism of Michael Cole. It probably isn't his fault he sounds like such a tool.

Hey, it's Bobby Backlund, out to wrestle a fella name Tony Demoro. Backlund lasted over an hour in the Rumble, so it's a bit of a surprise not to have seen him sooner on Raw, really. This is his first showing, I do believe. Lots of Raw debuts tonight.

The crowd are very vocal in their support for Backlund. He really got himself over in that Rumble. When he came out he had no reaction, but by the end the people were really behind him. In this case, Demoro heels up well to the crowd, including a guy, front and centre, wearing a "Bob Backlund WWF World Champion" yellow t-shirt. Well done that man.

Backlund makes it a sort of amateur-style grapple early on, while Vince says that if Backlund goes to Mania it'll be his first one, because when he was champ there were no Wrestlemanias. Backlund with a couple of hip tosses, and Demoro slides to the outside, leaving Bob to soak up the crowd chanting his name. Meanwhile, Vince sends Bartlett on an errand to go interview The Model.

Backlund allows himself to be elbowed in the corner, but soon reverses an Irish whip, and hits a double underhook suplex. A three-quarter nelson pin, and it's over.

Bartlett with The Model, and he makes me laugh for the first time. The Model says "no class" about seven times in thirty seconds, to which Bartlett responds "So you're saying he has no class?" I'll give him that, that was pretty funny.

Break time, and The Model is out for real this time, music and all. Sadly Bartlett made it back too. Mr Perfect's awesome music hits, and it's s genuinely big pop. I can only guess that Curt Hennig's head wasn't necessarily on straight, or his accumulation of injuries held him back, because Perfect really ought to have been a main eventer at this point onwards, but he never really got there.

Martel gets some mini-victories early on here, before Perfect makes him look a fool when avoiding a monkey flip variant. Pantomime stuff here in the early going. Model gets the upper hand again as Savage and Vince discuss Lex Luger hitting people with a dodgy forearm. So can the WWF physicians not check him out? How long is the waiting list for ensuring the wellness of....oh wait, I forgot. Best leave that.

Perfect does a sort of low bridge on Martel, who goes to the outside. And we go to an advert. Now there is something that is exactly like today. Back from a break and Martel is back on top. Pretty slow this one, though, it has to be said. After one of the weakest backbreakers you'll ever see (no word from Vince about whether it might have hurt the shoulder) Hennig blocks a splash attempt, and starts to turn the tide. The Model's bumping is a touch on the ludicrous side, though. He was another character that I couldn't stand. I used to think (still do, really) that he had go-away heat. Switch-the-TV-off-heat. I'd-watch-anything-but-him heat.

Anyway, Perfect gets on top, but it's another advert. Low rating in the last quarter hour, I suspect. We come back to the match and......it's finished! Perfect's music is playing. That's idiotic. They missed the end. I know they are perhaps trying to make it feel live and spontaneous and frenetic. The old "anything can happen" feel. But this is post produced, isn't it? They told us at the start it wasn't live. So why edit out the finish? Don't get that one.

They do show us a replay, with Hennig hitting the Perfectplex, but that misses the point, really. McMahon says Perfect has "all kinds of momentum" heading into Wrestlemania. How many different types are there, Vince?

Shockingly, more ads ensue, leaving just enough time for Perfect to re-emerge in the arena, complete with Raw girls on each arm. I'll give them points for a little mini-story during the show, I guess.

Next week - Kamala! Wow, what a hook (note sarcasm). Razor Ramon is also in action. That's a little better. The feature match? Typhoon v Bam Bam Bigelow. There's some catch-as-catch-can action for you, right there. I wonder if we'll be able to keep up with that..........

(Modern Day) Raw Thoughts - September 13 2010

• Man, I hated that opening segment. Cheesy, goofy Cena. Making a (recent) former Women's champion look like absolutely nothing. And mostly booking a tables match, negating most of my interest in the main event.
• No new music then, despite "season premiere"? No new logo, either.
• I don't know who the guest star is, (well, I understand, they've explained, but I've never heard of him) but there is plenty of interest and noise for the opening. Seems like a good booking.
• I love that music for Ochocinco. I'm sure that means something in the US, but it reminds of a) a show called Superstars (not the WWE one) and b) Lawrence Taylor at Wrestlemania
• Miz was.....well......awesome in that opening segment. That, my friends, is crowd heat.
• Great shirt, too.
• Hang on, isn't this the first week of Monday Night Football in the States? Does it really make sense to have an NFL star on? Won't people see him and go, "oh yeah, I should see what the score is" and flip over?
• Why haven't they explained why Alex Riley is still around? Didn't he LOSE? What's the point of trying to win NXT if runners up are about the place?
• King actually used the word "Cole" and not Michael. He never does that. I wonder if he was told to, to play up the differential between the two.
• There will be some that didn't care for that first match (or matches) but I thought the booking was really good. I might have given Bryan two more minutes dissecting Riley, to show his dominance, but that match made me want to see Bryan v Miz, and that is the point. Well done.
• Sometimes you can't explain why something is funny. Edge and Jillian made me laugh out loud then. (a true use of the phrase 'lol', I guess. I hate that little thing. And what's worse is that I use it. How often does one use 'lol' and actually mean it. If you were texting in on the train and actually laughed out loud everytime you put 'lol' people would think you were a nutter.)
• Henry/Edge/Bourne - ludicrous. Break that down, and it helped nobody. That made Bourne look like nothing, then Henry squashed Edge, who wrestles for the world title this week. If that is meant to be ok for Edge because he'd already had one match, then a) tell us and b) if you aren't going to tell us, book it obviously, and give it more than three minutes.
• I really don't like the divas spinning the wheel. I wouldn't mind if it were Divas who don't wrestle doing it, but it devalues them as athletes. Maybe the Bellas should do it.
• The 'song and dance' thing was largely complete nonsense and a waste of TV time.......until DiBiase started singing. I won't lie to you, I thought that was hilarious. DiBiase has awesome comic timing, and Maryse's mannerisms were good too. I'd still wipe this segment given the opportunity, but that did get me. I liked King's Patterson quip too.
• As much as I love William Regal, you know the show is going nowhere when he is on it these days. Miz v Bryan aside, has anything come even close to making me want to see the PPV so far? Not at all.
• Wow, you know what I'm about to say is a rarity but..........I think WWE could learn something from TNA with that John Morrison segment. I think fans need a reason to relate to their WWE superstars, and want to know more about them. You could have presented a pre-produced, 60-second video package on John Morrison using Parkour to train. But doing with weird camera angles, zoom and a robotic Cole voiceover, it felt soulless and pointless; at odds with the seriousness of the match. TNA's reaction approach would have worked here.
• We're at the top of the hour. Nexus haven't even been mentioned yet, by the way.
• Sheamus v Morrison just saved Raw. That was a terrific brawl, showing you can book an arena wide No-DQ match without excessive use of weapons, and with a liberal sprinkling of athleticism. That match could not have been done by anyone else in WWE but Morrison.
• There is a hint of the Jeff Hardy about Morrison right now. Seriously, if they get hold of him and push in the right manner, continue having him do things like jump off the tron and so forth, he can do what Jeff Hardy did. When Jeff wrestled Randy Orton (I think it was at Rumble 2008) he got over in about three weeks. He was amazing in the build to that match. Morrison needs a build to something at the next PPV, and a big win.
• LOL (really) @ Jericho having a pop at Cole. (twice)
• He's a quick typer, the GM, isn't he?
• I'm not crazy about a handicap match (I'm writing this before it happens) because it can't help anyone, but I did enjoy that exchange between Cole and Jericho.
• WOW - That was one hell of a finish with Jericho and Tyson Kidd. If you didn't see it, I almost can't describe it. Tyson Kidd went for a Super Huracanrana, but Jericho somehow dropped down, clutching Kidd. It looked like a piledriver, but Kidd stopped short, and it transitioned into a Walls of Jericho.
• Of course, WWE ruined it by not even showing a replay!
• Were Pete Rose's (grand)kids wearing Zack Ryder headbands? Cool!
• Regal as Goldust was funny, but these two could actually have a really decent match if presented with the opportunity.
• An overbooked main event that realistically suggested that only Cena or Orton would be able to defeat Sheamus, although we probably knew that anyway. Nexus were booked as idiots again, suggesting time may soon be up for them. Barrett hit his finisher on Cena, though - I still think there is money in them wrestling one on one. Perhaps if Cena wins Nexus disbands, or something.
• I don't think Orton winning means anything really, but I did like the creativity of the finish, turning an Attitude Adjustment into an RKO.
• This show was on the negative side of OK, just about. There were some bits I liked (I thought the FCA match was excellent) but a lot of it will hurt them long term, and I didn't really think they hyped the PPV well.

TNA No Surrender "As Live" notes

Just settling down to watch No Surrender. I'll comment as I go along, so you get an as-live, stream of consciousness style commentary from me........

Long opening video. Set the tone for the evening well. Clearly Angle is positioned as the star. It does put into question the booking of Hardy, mind you.

Gen Me replacing London Brawling is a big disappointment for this writer. Nothing against the Bucks, but I wanted to see Nick and Nigel (Dah, I mean Desmond and Magnus) get a chance to shine. I don't know that the problem was. Hopefully nothing too serious.

The match was ok. Some fun high-flying stuff, but for the most part it was stuff we've seen before, and recently too. A couple of times the commentators said that the crowd were so into it, but I thought they seemed particularly quiet for an opener. There was absolutely no heat on the match, so it felt a little empty.

I question the heel turn on Gen Me. It was almost like they wanted to do something different in the opener because of the pullout of London Brawling, and they felt they had to make up for it. Generation Me had a long segment on Impact or Reaction (I forget which) where they talked passionately about their beliefs and style. It was a good segment which gave some them such much needed background. Now they are suddenly heels. It also doesn't help high flying wrestlers to be heels (see AJ Styles) Strange decision.

Doug v Sabu was ok. I'm not crazy about chairs being used like that (if you didn't see it, Sabu basically did a load of his usual springboards from them, but theoretically that wouldn't be allowed) I guess that is the only way of getting Sabu through a passable match, though.

Velvet v Madison - fine, I guess, but nothing special. Just felt like a TV match, in reality. That story is now dead, because Velvet has won cleanly. It has to be time to reintroduce the likes of Daffney and Hamada to offer some variety. I like the BP gimmick, but it isn't new anymore, and they are endangering it's longevity by confusing the issues.

Rhyno v Abyss wasn't my thing, but for what it was it was ok. 10-10-10 is the new May 19th. Abyss had to win, but I wish they hadn't have had Stevie beat him on Impact. Abyss needs to destroy Richards on a TV show soon. Did the announcers say anything about no-one interfering in Rhyno v Abyss? Wouldn't EV2 have had a big run in?

The tag match between Sting/Nash and Jarrett/Joe was terrible. Slow, boring, achieved nothing. I guess the only consolation is that Joe won looking strong, and wasn't booked like an idiot. But it was still very dull. Tenay being made to say that Sting and Nash are protecting their spot is ludicrous. Does the audience know what that even means? And if they do, wouldn't they realise that protecting their spot is a real-life, not a kayfabe, issue.

Once again, with Dreamer v Styles, this is a match not aimed at me. That's not my kind of wrestling, I don't see Dreamer being a semi-main event wrestling in 2010, and I want AJ showing his athleticism, not wrestling in hardcore matches masquerading as submission technique.

To be fair, though, this was probably as good a match as it had a right to be. They tried to tell a story, they didn't overbook, and they had the right finish, which was AJ going over.

I've been pleased that we haven't seen too much in the way of screwy finishes. I was expecting EV2 and Fortune everywhere, but there haven't been those kind of run-ins, and it's only really been Doug using a title belt that has been a finish with shenanigans. Oh, and Jarrett using a bat, I suppose, but I'm blocking that match from my mind.

Onto Jeff v Kurt. I type this some eight minutes in. Good so far, although Jeff maybe half a step off. Good work from the commentators making it seem big time and even Tazz acknowledging Jeff missing a move slightly.

I am getting annoyed with Tazz saying "Fustration", though. IT HAS TWO R's in IT!

Right, I'm at the end of Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle. The very end, after a couple of restarts. You know what - fantastic. Absolutely superb. I had in my head that Kurt Angle had to win because of the retirement stipulation, so didn't really buy any of the Jeff Hardy pin attempts, but I really didn't consider a no-contest in this manner.

There will be plenty that didn't care for that, because it might be considered a BS finish, but to me it felt like sport. I like the aspect of realism, and although there were plenty of points that I didn't care for (more in a sec) I thought overall I could put them to back of my mind and really enjoy the match.

In fact a lot of the problems with the match were not actually problems with the match, if you see my point. They were problems with TNA over the past few months. A twenty-minute time limit is pretty ridiculous in a match of this magnitude, and the short matches which have plagued TNA for so long distorts the viewer's attitude towards the match. There should have been matches on Impact which went to a 10- or 15-minute limit, to put over that this kind of thing happens.

The blood is an interesting issue, too. Kurt's bleeding was necessary to this match's conclusion. Yes it looked a bit extreme, yes I'm not usually a fan of wrestlers blading a great deal, but once in a great while it is effective - Stone Cold Steve Austin at Mania 13 springs to mind. The trouble is TNA have had Flair bleed all over the place every week; an EV2 v Fortune battle where everyone bled; and plenty more examples of loads of blood. So when Angle started bleeding, it meant so much less than it should have done.

My final gripe is Bischoff adding five more minutes twice. It's not too big a gripe, and it's even less because he went to the floor manager to 'talk to the truck' (that was a REALLY nice touch, by the way), but if Eric and Dixie were so keen there should be a winner, why not just say either no time limits or unlimited overtime? I get that the logic behind it was that they didn't want the PPV to run long (I'm talking in the story, here) and so if they said it was unlimited it could go forever, but it just seemed a bit contrived there.

I'm being picky. It was a very good WRESTLING match, backed up by some high, high quality storytelling by the wrestlers. Add in the little extra touches, and I think that's very possibly TNA's match of the year. In the top five, without a doubt. Congratulations.

Anderson v Pope concluded the show, and I thought it was a fine match, maybe a good match, but not a great one, and it certainly suffered from some outside factors. Frankly, Angle v Hardy being on before it killed it in some ways. I think I might have used the old technique of a buffer match between main events. If they had have put the Beautiful People match in between the semi-finals to let the crowd have a distraction before getting back up for the finale. I don't blame them for having Angle v Hardy on first, because of the time restraint issue, but it affected Anderson and Dinero.

There was another problem being that Angle and Hardy kicked out of finishers galore, and it meant that when Pope and Anderson starting hitting their big moves, there was no pop because the crowd didn't buy the finishes. I don't think being both babyfaces helped, because the crowd were not solidly behind one wrestler or the other.

Overall, though, I'm pleased Anderson won, because he has, for me, the more potential in terms of stepping up and being the World Champion. I look forward to either Kurt v Ken again, or Anderson v Hardy which would see out a storyline. I don't know how they get to that without beating Kurt though, so I can definitely see a three way dance.

Good PPV this, overall. One bad match (Jarrett/Joe v Nash/Sting), one largely insignificant (Knockouts), a couple that served a purpose but not up my street (all the EV2 v Fortune bouts), a decent tag opener (c'mon, work that out), a reasonable closer and a stonking MOTY candidate for good measure. Better PPV than average for TNA. No comes the interesting part - can they build for BFG............?

Raw Number Three

This is so much fun, I thought I'd carry on for a bit.

So if you are catching up, I'd suggest you pop down a couple of entries, and read "retro reviews" of Episodes one and two of Monday Night Raw, and the look back at the '93 Rumble, too.

That brings us to Monday 25th January 1993, the third episode of Raw, shown, I would imagine, live from The Manhattan Center. Or maybe not, actually. The PPV the day previous was from Sacramento California, so I'd be interested in the logistics of sorting out that switch from wets coast to east.

Anyway, we kick off this week outside the arena with Mike Adamle......oh, wait, no, it's Mooney again. He catches Repo Man jumping out of a tow truck (!) You could be forgiven for thinking it was Chavo, you know, under that mask. Repo squeaks about being ready for Macho Man, and enters the building. Titles, then that bloody annoying siren again.......

Wahey, Heenan's back! We've still got Bartlett, which is a shame, but Bobby is in the chair, which is great news. I'll include some classic Heenanisms if he spouts them forth, which I'm sure he will. Looking forward to his reaction at Flair v Perfect.

The announcing trio run down what we will see tonight, and Repo Man is first out. He looks hilarious in Savage's hat. Savage runs in, no music, jumping the bell. Not many sold uncontrollable anger like Randy did.

They've now mentioned that Savage came close to winning the Royal Rumble, but they haven't said that Yokozuna won yet, nor that Bret beat Razor. Four minutes in. After five, Yoko gets a mention.

Savage dominates the early portion of the match, before Repo catches him outside the ring on the ring steps. This slows the match down. You forget when you go back to 1993 that a lot of workers like Darsow wrestled a very, very basic style back then. It's a quite boring middle section to this match. So boring the announcers have started talking about an inauguration, presumably of Bill Clinton.

Savage turns the tables, and quickly gets a win, landing his big elbow from the top. Feud over, lasted about a week and six minutes. Savage throws him to the outside, but refs won't let him nail Repo on the floor. Too bad. Savage has hit hat back, but it doesn't match. Savage needs Rico.

Hey, it's Mr Backlund! Back when he was still Bob, he tells us no-one should go to bed hungry, in another plug for Headlock for Hunger. Vince says "speaking of Africa......" and says Kamala is on the show later. Ooh, awkward segue city..........

Back from a break, Heenan pervs at the ring girl, as a good heel should, and we go to a Wrestlemania plug. Vince calls Caesar's Palace "Opulent and splendiferous." Erm, ok. The build up seems to be more for the building than the show.

Back to the arena, it's Kamala. Babyface Kamala, remember, as we saw a couple of weeks ago. And he's facing wrestling premier jobber, The wonderful Brooklyn Brawler. I think Brawler used to portray Kimchee quite a lot, ironically.

Good character development and focus on Kamala here, explaining the babyface turn. The crowd are chanting "You Are a Man" to Kamala. The only wrestler they've chanted that to. Apart from Chyna.

Vince mentions Harvey Wippleman bringing out Giant Gonzales the night previous, and says he is eight foot tall. Heenan says he is actually 20'2". Brilliant. (Wikipedia says actual height of 7'6". Who to believe, WWE or Wikipedia. Both such reputable sources (Note sarcasm)) Is that the first time Gonzales name was mentioned?

Kamala hits a splash, then starts rolling Brawler all over the ring. Eventually he pins him, in a very odd manner. Kamala the character isn't really my kind of thing, but credit to Jim Harris, who played him so outlandishly that it has worked for years.

Slick says that he is not responsible for Kamala's success. The people are. He says Wippleman and Kimchee ought to stay away from Kamala; he doesn't know what the Ugandan will do to them if he sees them. I'm genuinely intrigued by this, because I can't remember what happened to Kamala. Although I do remember him bowling.

Gene Mean runs through what happened at Royal Rumble in fine style, and it's time for Flair and Perfect. Perfect gets the upper hand early on, and Ric bails to talk to Heenan, who has a hammer. Ah, if I had one of them. I would hammer in the morning. I would never do it in the evening, though. Have respect for the neighbours.

You'd suggest we are in for a longish one here, as aside from trying to break the indoor record for reverse knife edge chops, this is a cagey opening. Just before a break, Flair throws Perfect to the outside, but is prevented from hitting him with a chair (wooden, not steel folding) by Earl Hebner. That was pretty stupid, he could have been disqualified. Surprised about that.

Back from break and Flair is on top. Just. In fact I think we just about avoided Flair doing a spot where his trunks get pulled down. Thank God he doesn't do that any more. Erm........

Perfect has been sent into a ringpost, and BLEEDS on Raw. Don't get that anymore. Flair uses all manner of nefarious tactics befitting the dirtiest player in the game, including a hilarious spot where he leans on Perfect's throat, choking him, all the while pleading innocence with the ref.

Perfect gets on top, with Heenan getting increasingly animated on commentary, and McMahon getting more with the "1...2...he got him! No he didn't!" routine. Bartlett, mercifully, has shut up.

I'm making fun of the announcing, but to their credit, they are calling it like it's the biggest match of all time. Keep in min Kurt Angle has a 'career' match every sodding week on Impact, and the commentators talk about something else. It goes for every match, though. Commentators refer loosely to the match, then talk about an angle from earlier that night, or plug Dixie's Twitter, or call the show the longest episodic weekly programme this side of Neptune or whatever, and largely ignore the action in the ring.

Flair takes over with a long sleeper, and after Perfect fights out, slaps on the Figure 4. Perfect recovers, and gets on top, but it's another break time. After the ads, Vince tells us there are nine minutes on the broadcast. Once again, an interesting allusion to reality. They talk about what will happen if the match ends after the broadcast ends. McMahon says they'll fight to a finish and they'll show the result next week. I mean, we both know it will finish before the end, but even lip service to it being real is nice, isn't it?

Flair clocks Perfect with a foreign object, but Hennig gets a foot on the ropes. This is a very good match, and I'm taking into account the fact that I know who wins, because should you not know the outcome, you'd be even more into this. ]

Just as Vince asks Bartlett why he is so quiet, Perfect starts, well, hulking up, basically. Irish whip. back drop, clothesline, then Flair's upside down corner bump and so forth. A series of nearfalls, to which the crowd seem largely apathetic. Hmm.

They soon wake up, though. Flair reverses an Irish whip to the ropes, and drops the head. Perfect hooks it, and hits a Perfect Plex. The directing and camerawork leaves much to be desired, as it is unclear whether Perfect gets three, but the large cheer, referee raising Hennig's hand and music playing all give small clues.

Heenan goes into overdrive. Vince tells Bobby it's his (Heenan's fault), and Heenan's response is bleeped out. Heenan leaves with Flair, who wouldn't be seen on Raw again in person until 2001, the day after the InVasion ended.

A plug for WWF mania is next, and then Vince telling us they are about to name a big match for next week. But first there are more ads........this better be a big match.......

IT'S.........Typhoon v Doink. Ooh, craptacular. That was worth waiting for. Meanwhile, Vince says that Flair will honour his obligations through the weekend - presumably they were fearing some house-show backlash if he didn't turn up as promised.

So, Typhoon v Doink, huh? Can't wait for that............That's so exciting, I'm going to have to continue these old Raw reviews now. Oh well..........

Raw Thoughts - May 31

• Interesting start to Raw. Not something you want to do every week, but fun to start on a different concept.
• I like crazy, paranoid Edge. It was too hard to take sensible, contrite Edge seriously. He should now stay heel forever.
• Jericho doesn't win a lot now, does he?
• I hate it when Lawler says (or is forced to say) imbecilic things like never having seen the Walls of Jericho countered into a small package before. Of course we have. That kind of comment helps no-one, because the fans watching will just think Lawler is a fool because they have seen it before and will now think they know better. The point of a commentator is to act as an expert, not come across as having the memory of a goldfish.
• Nice pop for Truth when he won, by the way, and the match itself was really tidy indeed.
• Quite the hot crowd in Austin, TX. Popping for Koslov turning on Regal? Especially considering it was an appalling chokeslam.
• That was pretty dumb. Why would they have Ashton Kutcher come up with the idea for next week and make Bret look like a chump?
• This Raw has really dragged. After a great match early on, there was been basically no action, and very little star power, at least after Vince appeared.
• I LOVED the elevation of Evan Bourne. It will probably only be a short term thing, but the way they orchestrated the whole thing on this show was tremendous. Really sound booking of the attack at the start of the show, the endorsement from Cena and then allowing him to hit his (very over) finisher. Textbook.

Over the Limit live blog

1:00am
Evening/morning all. Over the Limit then. Should be fun. Hasn't be a great build up, but it's a reasonable card.

For anyone wondering about the LiveChats we've being doing on The Sun's website, we're probably going to be doing them on the PPVs that are free on Sky Sports and the Big Ones (i.e. Wrestlemania, Royal Rumble, Summerslam).

01.04am
Intro video done - usual classy effort - and we're off. Cole in excited mode, intro's King and Striker, and hands over to the Spanish boys. Hey, Hugo looks increasingly like Jabba The Hut. I fear he will imprison a Diva and make her wear a bikini at some stage.

Kofi v Drew up first.......

01.11am
Reasonable match thus far, but a bit wrestling-by-numbers. Kofi hot start, Drew turns around, slows it down, Kofi making comeback. Mind you, they pulled off a spot rarely done well. Drew off the corner and Kofi getting his feet up, but it actually looked realistic.

Commentators annoying me already. They don't actually call a match do they? They spout generalisations and dull facts about each wrestler then go 'ooh' when a move it hit.

01.14am
Well then, we have a new IC Champ. Kofi wins a decent opener. I love his SOS finisher, which he hit after missing Trouble in Paradise then avoiding the FutureShock DDT.

Surprised that we got a clean win......wait, Drew has the mic.......

01.16am
Drew calls for Teddy Long, gets Matt Hardy. Would have liked to have seen an actual fight there rather than Hardy simply hitting one move then leaving. If he is so angry about his previous beatdown would he simply hit a Twist of Fate and leave it at that?

01.19am
Punk backstage with a "mirror mirror" promo talking about beating Mysterio tonight. Slightly odd to see Luke Gallows lightly hug him at the end.

KR Kwik-Truth is next, to face Little Ted.

01.21am
Happy to post your comments on the show - email robthegreen@hotmail.com or Tweet me @RobMcNichol

01.22am
Hey, Virgil got another gig! How permanent is he going to be? I like how they have ignored completely the fact that Virgil turned on DiBiase Snr NINETEEN YEARS AGO.

01.23am
I wish they'd add a little bit to this. For example talk about how much these two dislike each other, but also talk up a competitive rivalry about standing in the company. Suggest that by winning this match they get closer to a US title match or something.

01.28am
Hey, they did it again. Another counter spot which looked real. DiBiase off the top with a double axe-handle and Truth with a shot to the stomach, but it looked great. Not the usual "I'll just jump while you hit me with something"

01.32am
Just a very, very odd ending to that match. Either they tried a bunch of innovative stuff that we missed, they botched a couple of thing that made it look bizarre, or Ted got injured and they had to improvise. Or perhaps a combination of the three.

01.39am
Rey v Punk now. Truth won the last match, by the way - I should have said. There just were very few near falls etc, he just a hit a couple of moves and won.

Striker suggests that Punk losing his hair might be "Herculean" and he'll lose his strength. Isn't that Samson?

Two babyfaces over so far - three in a row? Nice call by Lawler stating that Punk's message (i.e. no drugs) is ok, it's the way he does it why people dislike him. I think they should stress that way more often.

01.46am
Really cool spot with Punk throwing Rey under the ropes and into a barber's chair at ringside, but we have to wait forever to carry on with Punk having been cut on his hairline. Great work by Punk to straightaway add some pace into proceedings as soon as we restart.

The hold for the blood was really long. Why isn't the trainer to sort this kind of thing at ringside?

01.49am
Punk is bleeding again it seems, but no second stoppage. Ref has a glove on.

Don't kid yourself Charles (Robinson) - Cowboy Bob has a cast on his arm, didn't stop him catching a dose.

01.52am
Some nice back and forth action. Not a classic - its quite slow paced, seems these two are suffering from being restricted with they can do being in the first hour again - but what they are doing is very, very crisp, and the crowd (especially those with higher voices) are right behind Rey and his near falls.

01.55am
Counter follows counter follows counter. Rey (fittingly) gets Punk in a mini-crucifix to roll him and win. Really, really nice closing two minutes filled with drama, beautiful wrestling and near falls.

02.03am
The SES, including the masked guy, hit the ring to attack Rey. They are on top but Kane of all people evens the odds. I guess they'll try to save him next.

SES had brought handcuffs to the ring, and when Rey got the better of Punk he cuffed Punk to the ropes. Ooh, was that a deliberate "Christ on the cross" metaphor. Could upset some people (for the record, it doesn't bother me.)

Rey shaves Punk (badly) and we get the usual heel being terrified when he sees his (badly) shaved head in the mirror.

Do you know what the biggest irony off all this is? The blood helped. Punk was bleeding still when Rey was shaving him. Not copiously, but enough to make it noticable, and it actually helped. It wasn't gratuitous, but it made it feel like a proper fight.

02.07am
Backstage to Big Show with Jericho, jaw-jacking each other, then a very uneasy cut to King's face. There is something just a little off about tonight.

Hart Dynasty (with Nattie but not Bret) are out to face Mizicho next. Interestingly Miz and Jericho with separate entrances. No amalgamated theme like JeriShow or ShoMiz.

02.11am
I was concentrating on typing so missed it slightly, but I'm fairly certain Cole just had a little go at Bret Hart, basically saying he should disappear. Striker said "Welcome aboard."

How interesting that Cole should pick on Bret, who is feuding with Miz. Just like he has been picking on Danielson, who also has a problem with Miz. Might be nothing, but you never know. One to watch.....

02.14am
Some interesting mid-match points - one is that Jericho got quite a big Y2J chant. Might WWE have to turn him at some point (perhaps a babyface run when he has to promote the book?).

Another was a lovely counter by Kidd from a back body drop and landing on his feet.

Lastly, Striker with a hell of a line. But not in a good way. David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd, according to Matt Striker, have been teaming together since they were TEN YEARS OLD.

Remember, don't try this at home kids!!

02.21am
Harts retain in a more than serviceable match. Another match where the finish (and false finishes) were really nicely paced to create excitement and more importantly intrigue, since it was hardly clear who would go over.

Four matches, four babyface wins by the way. I'm fairly sure I've got every single prediction wrong too. Hmm.....

02.29am
I meant to say previously, The Hart Dynasty just weren't quite over to the level they might be. I don't think the crowd have quite bought them as the sudden tag champions simply because of their association with Bret.

02.44am
Ok, this is turning into an odd show. The blood stoppage of CM Punk and a possible injury to DiBiase may have hurt those earlier matches.

Now, After an Orton v Edge match that never really got going, Orton blocked a Spear by Edge and went into his normally pounding the mat routine. He then basically stopped, having surely injured his arm.

They dragged for a couple of minutes, eventually drawing a double count out with Edge missing a spear and running into the guardrail.

There was no way that finish was booked. If it was is incompetence beyond belief. I think we'll find very soon that Randy Orton tore a bicep or something very similar.

02.56am
Swagger and Show ongoing. I'm still thinking about Orton, and some of the strange incidents tonight. It reminds me of New Years Revolution in 2005 when Eugene and Lita both injured their knees in matches.

02.57am
There are a couple of reasons why I don't like Big Show's finisher, the KO punch. One is that it is technically illegal, so shouldn't be allowed. Tonight, the reason it annoyed me was that Show had hit Swagger and waited for him to get up. When he did, Show grabbed him round the throat for a a chokeslam. Why didn't he just punch him?

03.00am
Match ends when Swagger gets fed up and hits Show with a title belt. I have no real problem with that ending in isolation, but in context - i.e. straight after a double KO finish - it felt wrong and definitely pissed the crowd off. I'm not necessarily blaming them, because booking is booking, but it just added to a sense of unease about the evening.

Post match, Swagger nailed Show with a couple of chairshots (to the back) which Show withstood. The Big guy then beat the hell out of Swagger.

03.04am
This is interesting. In the next update I will reprint two Tweets that I have just seen. See if you can guess who wrote them. WARNING - some adult language here.

03.05am
TWEET NUMBER ONE: "I have one thing to say. Kharma is a MOTHERFUCKER."

TWEET NUMBER TWO: "And it couldn't have happened... To a NICER GUY."

03.06am
Any guesses? It was Ken Anderson (formerly Kennedy). Reading between the lines thats a shot at Randy Orton. It has been alleged that Orton was someone who backstage complained that Ken was dangerous to work with.

He spelled Karma wrong, by the way, not me.

03.11am
Maryse v Eve (not bad, not great, BTW) is a secondary story here. Ken getting some grief on Twitter. Just tweeted "I've been watching no such thing" presumably in response to people asking if he is watching Over the Limit.

Eve wins. Not bad at all.

03.12am
Would just like to point out a very annoying couple of minutes of commentary at the start of that match.

Striker said that the Diva's title had never changed hands in Detroit. The Divas title is about two years old and has changed hands what? Three times?

Cole said that at Fatal Fourway the champion has a 25% chance of retaining. Well, that's not really fair because that doesn't take into account talent. If the four competitors were Cena, Undertaker, Triple H and me, would I have an equal chance to the others? Of course not. I would love to see a stat of every Fatal Fourway title match in WWE history and see how many times the champ has retained. I'd bet it was over 50%.

Lastly, Cole said about WWE being watched all over the world......globally. Just an annoying turn of phrase, so I'm being picky.

03.40am
I'll update what us happening in a minute. Frankly, it's ludicrous.

03.43am
I don't know what to think. WWE just did the best ending of a PPV in a long time, coming after twenty minutes of more bizarre behaviour.

Let's start from the start. The Cena v Batista match wound it's way through an understandable route of added bells and whistles to augment the matches they've already had.

Cena forced Batista to faint through pain in the STFU, but rather than the ref stop the match, Cena poured water to wake him up. Batista made the comeback, they went to the outside and this ended with Dave powerslamming Cena through the announce table. Cena was busted, but not as bad as Punk from earlier.

They fought into the crowd, Batista took a tumble from over a barrier which I assume was padded beneath or some people caught him.

They eventually made the stage, and it started to get stupid. Batista beat Cena down, and put him against the side of the Tron. I should mention that there was a car. (Don't ask me what kind, but it was a flash, Fast and The Furious kind of motor) Batista got in the car, started it.........hang on.......

WHY WERE THERE FUCKING KEYS IN IT? THAT MAKES NO SENSE. ZERO SENSE WHATSOEVER. WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE KEYS IN THE THING?

Anyway he reversed it, and after a pause lasting forever it appeared that he missed Cena. They didn't show the right camera angle, which was daft because they know that we could have seen it from a previous shot. Just made the director look daft.

Cena battled up, hit an Attitude Adjustment on the car bonnet. Then lifted Batista on his shoulders in the roof of the car, causing Batista to quit through fear. Cena through him off anyway, and Batista went through the stage. If you are going to go, I guess......

Cena celebrated for a while, and after the announcers had said goodnight and the little graphic that always closes the show came up, Sheamus snuck up behind Cena and hit the kick. Awesome way to finish the show, but I'm annoyed that it won't be Cena v Sheamus at the next PPV, because they have to crowbar in two others.

03.55am
Oddest PPV I've seen in ages. Very odd indeed.

The WWE Draft

This week saw a draft episode of Raw, and although these have a history of being actually quite dull despite the surrounding hype, this was a pretty good show.

Mind you, I had to block out a great deal of nonsense through my well-developed, patented McNichol Wrestling Filter, which is available from the same company that make my McNichol Eliminator. McNicholShopzone.com – (don’t try the URK, it isn’t real)

An irony with the fact that Michelle and her Simply Flawless moniker would end the first Draft match, as this concept and match was completely flawed.

I can’t believe they are persisting with the Raw v Smackdown, whomever wins gets a draft pick routine. It makes no sense. Why would you want to win and bring more competition to your spot? That is even more apparent with the Divas, because the division is so much smaller.

Then, to add to the feeling of this, Maryse refused to tag Eve at the first opportunity. Storyline-wise this is because they dislike one another, but it immediately made you think that she doesn’t want to win the match because of the draft, rendering the rest of the show pointless.

The first draftee was Kelly Kelly, and that’s a reasonably sensible move. It just mixes things up a little, and Kelly Kelly is a likable enough figure to go to Smackdown for LayCool to oppose.

After CM Punk beat Evan Bourne in one of those matches which just about gets you warmed up then ends, Smackdown gained Big Show, who got drafted to Smackdown. To be honest, I thought he was on Smackdown.

(Hang on, you did try that URL, didn’t you? You fool. I did tell you not to.)

I guess it’s my peculiar paranoia over certain usage of words, but at this point I’d like to declare my annoyance at the word ‘decimate’ or a variant of it used three times in the first hour. Technically, decimated means to kill one person in ten, and although modern usage just has the word to mean ‘almost destroy’, I still don’t like the overuse of it.

Back to wrestling.......and John Cena declares that the only person who can name a number one contender is the champion? Really? Really? (/Miz) Since when, and why, does the champ have that authority? He could just pick Hornswoggle and be done with it.

Is it just me, or when the five Smackdown superstars were walking backstage, did it look like McIntrye was holding Rey Mysterio’s hand?

R-Truth, Morrison and Edge were all superstars moving to Raw which were foreseen, but they mostly make sense, so no complaints. Morrison might be the man who comes out worse, because after shining on Smackdown, there is a chance he could be in Evan Bourne country, maybe not losing as much as Bourne, but wrestling three-minute undercard matches and not the lengthy ones in a nice spot as he was on the blue brand.

Kofi Kingston was next to switch, moving to Smackdown after Chris Jericho beat Christian in a really tidy TV match. Kingston’s switch is, to me, the most logical of all. I’ve been talking about Kofi going to SD for months, because I really feel it will reignite him, and he has a better chance of being taken seriously as a wrestler. Great move.

After another very good match – Swagger v Morrison – SD got themselves another pick after The World Champ got his hand raised, and Christian headed to Smackdown. I’m not crazy about that, I have to say, mainly for the fact that Edge just went to Raw. They seem hell bent on making sure there is absolutely no association between Edge and Christian and I have no idea why.

As the draft wore on, the commentators kept updating the viewers on the moves that wrestlers had made. Good call. They also talked up the individuals who were moving. Again, nicely done. Sensible behaviour.

However, they suggested that both brands had done well. How exactly is that possible? If one brand has picked up some great superstars, it means the other has lost some. So why would other brand be happy? They would either both feel things are fine, average, mediocre, ok.....or one is doing better than the other.

Nice little backstage segment with Ted DiBiase, Carlito and R-Truth, with a hint that perhaps DiBiase was trying to recruit Carlito as part of a ‘fortunate sons’ stable as has been heavily rumoured. I liked the interaction with Truth, and thought DiBiase showed a lot of character and is developing nicely as a heel.

Dolph Ziggler v Hornswoggle? Really? (Ok, I have to stop doing that.) You know what, it wouldn’t have bothered me if Dolph had lost because he was jaw-jacking with fans or acting cocky outside, but it was the fact that Hornswoggle was allowed to throw a helmet at his opponent and not be disqualified that bothered me. I should learn to lighten up, really.....

A reasonable triple threat closed the show, with Batista inserting himself into the already booked match between Randy Orton and Sheamus for the number one contendership. It wasn’t a stunning wrestling match, but it was exciting to watch by virtue of the fact that it was very hard to pick a winner.

In the end, Edge interfered and speared Randy Orton, allowed Batista to drape an arm and get the win. I assume that’s the Edge heel turn that desperately had to happen, and it was a surprise to see Batista get the win and the number one contendership. Career on the line, anyone?

Better than usual draft, if you can get past some head-scratching logic throughout.

TNA - Titles Not Appreciated.

Many people have said over the years that TNA is a terrible name for wrestling company. Since here in England we don’t really have the phrase “T&A”, meaning tits and ass, it doesn’t particularly bother me that much. But lets run with the idea that the name should change – I have the perfect alternative.

WTF.

Aside from the obvious abbreviation, that stands for “Why This” Federation,because way too often that’s exactly what I find myself uttering. “Why This?”

I could spend a very, very long time on this, and frankly I don’t have the energy to go all the way, through. Instead, I’ll simply focus on a couple of issues that bothered me greatly this week, specifically involved the tag division, X-division and the women’s division, specifically the titles.

Let’s start with the tag division. Now I might have this totally wrong, but there was a match at Destination X between The Motor City Machine Guns and Generation Me, and MCMG won, to give them a number one contendership to the tag team titles, right? Have they had that title match yet? I don’t think they have, unless they had it during a pre-show or post-show or TNA today online segment that nobody watches.

So why have a tag team match between the Motor City Machine Guns and Team 3D TO DETERMINE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS?? It’s ludicrous.

To add to that, who won? Did Team 3D win due to a DQ from interference? Was the match thrown out? I didn’t hear an announcement. It’s madness. What’s the point of any of these matches if a) they contradict stuff which has already happened and b) the match’s conclusion means nothing going forward.

Meanwhile, the tag team champions are........Matt Morgan. Morgan laid out partner Hernandez a couple of weeks ago, and we were promised an explanation of why. We are yet to receive one.

Instead, we got Morgan referring to himself as “we” and apparently will defend soon against the number one contenders, which might be the Guns, might be Team 3D or might be no-one. Who knows?

Any explanation of why he laid his partner out? If the belts will be vacated? If he gets to choose a partner? Nope, nothing. Just a vague hint at schizophrenia. OK then.

Let’s go to Destination X again. Do I remember a Ladder match? A Ladder match which Kazarian won? So where the hell is he and why was he not mentioned once as Doug Wllliams’s number one contender during Doug’s appearance on Impact?

Shannon Moore came out and asked for a title shot at Lockdown, in a way in which we normally find ends with exactly that happening. There will be people that now have in their mind that Moore will wrestle Williams at that PPV, despite them facing off at the last one.

It may well be an excuse to make this a three-way involving Kaz, Moore and Doug, and I have no problem with that. But at least acknowledge the existence of a number one contender during the segment put aside for the division.

And then there are the Knockouts. The poor, undervalued females of TNA who get no respect from those who ought to be showing it. They draw good ratings for the company every week, and many have called for them to have more exposure (in a storyline and angle respect, I mean) on television.

Now, I don’t want to scream “conspiracy”, but it didn’t half seem to me like the booking of the Knockout’s on Impact was deliberately tacky and absurd, so that if they fail they say “yeah, we tried the KOs in the main event /overrun slot, and they failed. Experiment over.” If they succeed, however, it shows that sex sells – so lets do more of it.

I’m taking a punt here, but this reeks of WCW, and so it wouldn’t be a wild assumption to think that perhaps Russo and Bischoff (particularly the former) are responsible.

If you didn’t see it, there was a 4 on 4 match - Velvet Sky, Lacey von Erich, Madison Rayne and Daffney v Tara, Angelina Love, Ayako Hamada and ODB. There would be four falls, and whenever one happened, the scorer of the fall would get a key, and both they and the loser would drop out of the match, until all were finished. Confused yet? You will be.

Then, the four keyholders would each open a box containing a ‘prize’. One was the TNA Knockouts title. Think of that. The women’s title belt was a prize which one person scoring a relatively nondescript pin in an eight-person tag would win. Someone achieving the same feat would win a spider. (how exactly that came to be TNA property is unknown, as is why they didn’t just simply hand it back to Tara)Another would be forced to take their clothes off. That’s classy.

Actually, I don’t even care that one of them was going to do this. Let’s not even worry about whether this ought to be passed off as entertainment or not. The problem is that people ought to earn a world title, or a world title shot. I don’t even mind them winning the world title in a tag match, although I’d prefer it otherwise. But this meant that a world champion (for that is what Tara effectively was) won a match, or at least did all that could be asked of them, and then lost their title. That’s madness.

That’s three titles IN ONE SHOW that were devalued. The ‘Legends’ title – stupid name, by the way, is being carried by Rob Terry. Really nice guy, and this is absolutely not his fault, but he is not good enough to be being pushed in the manner he currently is. That isn’t to say he won’t become an effective big guy. But he isn’t there yet.

None of TNA’s secondary (or tertiary) titles mean a thing. They are just treated like accessories, not prized possessions. Tara cares more about a spider than a belt. Now I’m not saying she shouldn’t love a pet, but it just makes the belt look trivial.

I could be here a long time, bemoaning the terrible booking of Desmond Wolfe, chairshots to the head, the insignificance of Hardy, lack of need for “The Band”, Bubba, swearing, lack of Joe, ladder matches with keys, Orlando Jordan and plenty more. But I won’t.

I may do soon, though......

Some treats for your ears

This past Thursday, I was on the Pro Wrestling Torch's Livecast with James Caldwell. We discussed a vast range of topics, and you can listen to the full 60-minute show at PWTorch.com, or at www.blogtalkradio.com/pro-wrestling-torch. If you are (or become) a VIP member, then you get a 28-minute aftershow also.

Also, don't forget to listen to my podcast, The One Sided Ring. It got as high as 17th in the UK Sports iTunes charts this week, and I encourage you to join the increasing about of people tuning in. Search for One Sided Ring or Rob McNichol on iTunes and you can listen to all four episodes so far, including an exclusive 20+ minute with Colt Cabana.

Twittering

Hi all,

I'm a member of the Twitter fraternity now, address being @robmcnichol

I will endeavour to let you all know when I have a new podcast available and new articles on The Sun and Football365.

RMc

Podcast Episode Three

The third episode of The One Sided Ring podcast is now available. Search for "Rob McNichol" or "The One Sided Ring" on iTunes, or tap in robmcnichol.podbean.com/feed into your RSS player. I'd appreciate as many subscribers as possible on iTunes to push me up the list. Got to 165 in the Sports chart last week, lets see if we can break the top 100 this time.

Here's the official description of Ep3:

"This week's episode is kinda like The Thrillseekers. It has bits where I am serious for a minute, like Lance Storm, as well as moment of ricockulousness, just like Chris Jericho.

I talk about Abyss wearing Hogan's ring (ahh, bless), alternate plans for Triple H and Sheamus, what's next for NXT, how Kaz should have returned, an Audience with The Pope, WWE call me for advice, Shawn and Taker's legacies, and more.

Enjoy!"

Good summing up, that.

Elimination Chamber Live

01.02am
The usual deep-voiced dude tells us how the Elimination Chamber is the most demonic structure in WWE, which is exactly what he said at Hell in a Cell.

It looks like The Chamber is dropping. We're going to kick off with WWE (i.e. Raw) Chamber match. Sheamus's chances just got bigger. Get the heel win out of the way early on.

01.04am
Cena out first. He goes into a pod then. DiBiase second to arrive.

01.07am
Randy Orton next, to a major babyface pop. Are WWE now in a massive corner? Can they keep Orton as a heel?

01.09am
Time to play the game now, so that means Kofi and Sheamus to start the chamber. Sheamus to made into a monster for surviving the full length of the chamber match and winning, or is it giving him an 'out' for not getting it done?

01.16am
Big RKO chant makes me wonder even more about Randy as a babyface - and then I realise. We are in St Louis, hometown of the Legend Killer. Kofi and Sheamus are back and forth, with Kingston jumping around like a lunatic. Third man coming soon.......

01.20am
It's The Game, and we get a great visual of him smiling but with his face glowing with the light shining through the perspex of the pod. We have a big staredown with he and Sheamus, and then the fight is on. Are we having a Mania preview?

01.25am
Orton in now, and he is all over Sheamus and then Triple H. The story of the last five minutes was mainly Hunter getting the best of the Irishman, and then Kofi bursting into life with his double leg drop over the top onto Triple H.

Orton, since I've been typing, has dominated, but Kofi dives onto all three others to take them out, before a springboard is met by an amazing Orton dropkick.

01.30am
Here comes.........DiBiase. Will he go after Orton?

01.31am
Not yet. DiBiase offers Orton his hand, helps him up, and they double team Triple H. One will turn on the other, but which one?

01.33am
Scary looking visual of Orton and Ted putting Kofi's head between the chains and then applying a boston crab. Unique.

01.35am
DDT on Triple H on the steel outside the ring, and the Legacy buddies, like Lions stalking an injured impala, await John Cena outside his pod.

01.37am
All six men in with Cena on top. Attitude Adjustment on DiBiase to the outside, but Orton intercepts.

01.38am
Cena with the STFU on Ted, but Orton saves him. Cody to ringside as Orton is stalking Cena, and Rhodes puts a lead pipe into the fray. Ted gets it while Cena hoists Randy onto his shoulders. Ted swings, nails Orton and then Cena. A moment of doubt before DiBiase pins his mentor. I think Legacy may officially be over.

01.40am
Here come the eliminations. Kofi swings into Trouble in Paradise on DiBiase to pin him, and then Sheamus hits the pump kick and the Razor's Edge to see bye-bye to Kingston. Three left - The Champ, The Game, and The Marine.

01.42am
Small question. Why didn't Orton lie in wait for DiBiase and jump him when he exited the chamber?

01.43am
Low blow and pedigree to Sheamus. 1......2........3. We'll have a new champion - Triple H or John Cena.

01.45am
Lengthy STFU and.......it's over. Wow, I wasn't really expecting that. John Cena is the new WWE champion.

01.46am
Wait, it's Vince......

01.47am
Vince has demanded that Cena has to defend right now against Batista. Yes, you read that right. Whether you like this happening on PPV or not, it's actually logical follow-through booking. This is why Batista hasn't been interested in wrestling lately, it's why he didn't want to get into the Smackdown Elimination Chamber, it's why he helped Vince attack Bret Hart (i.e. to get into Vince's good books and get a favour in exchange.)

I'm not crazy about the belt bouncing around so freely, but I don't mind the surprises and the storytelling.

01.54am
Quite a long round-up of the Bret Hart 'injury' on Monday. Solemn reaction from the trio on commentary, and it's up to Tony Chimel who says it's IC Title time. Here's Drew and his bizarre new entrance (I quite like the concept, don't like the music). He'll face Kane.

02.09am
An okay IC Title match. McIntrye retains in quite a long battle with Kane. Right result, but match was just there, really.

02.13am
Maryse and Gail argue backstage after Ms Kim reveals that she speaks French and realises that Maryse was bad mouthing her all the while. That didn't work.

Justin Roberts in the ring announces the "Finals" of the Divas tournament. No, Justin, it's the 'final'. Singular. Prat.

02.16am
We've got a tag match on our hands. Vickie Guerrero 'postpones' the Gail v Maryse match in favour of the two of them teaming up against Michelle and Layla. No-one cares.

02.18am
Gail has wrestled the whole match so far, and is being dominated by the Smackdown heels. No-one cares.

02.19am
Maryse pie faces Gail when she reaches for a tag, allowing the SD duo to get the win.

No

One

Cares.

02.20am
All that isn't a knock on the girls themselves. It's just that this was a ridiculous spot of rebooking and the girls are treated as such an afterthought.

02.23am
Trailer for NXT is followed by an interview with the Miz. Miz basically cuts a promo on Daniel Danielson or Bryan Bryson, what ever he is called. He calls him an "Internet sensation" and "King of the Indies" but says he has no personality. The more I think about Miz and Danielson, the more I think the combo is genius.

MVP interrupts and cuts a short, smiley promo on Miz, and informs him that they are having an IC title match shortly. Another match announced at short notice. Really?

02.28am
Regal to the ring, telling people to respect him and so forth, basically to hype the NXT show a little. Interruption by Edge, who tells Regal and the world that he'll announce who his Mania opponent will be on tomorrow's Raw. And then spears Regal for a laugh.

02.30am
This has been the oddest show so far. The first chamber match was pretty good, but we've seen plenty of better ones. The Vince intervention and incursion by Batista was unexpected. Since then it has felt like a TV show. Decent IC title match, but rebook on the women's match, late addition of Miz v MVP (again. By the way, who booked that? Raw doesn't have a GM tonight.), Regal promo only to get speared by Edge. Odd stuff.

02.34am
Miz and MVP in the ring now. The first Chamber basically took 45 minutes from start of intro music to the final pinfall, not including Batista action post-match. This match probably has fifteen minutes if needed. That's plenty.

02.36am
I've mentioned before that there is a subtle trend of Jerry Lawler defending the Miz, and once again he does so, saying that it is a little unfortunate for Miz to have this match sprung on him. Also a reference to Miz's home town being Cleveland, which Cole refers to as King's adoptive city. (Lawler is a big Cleveland Indians fan. Browns too, I believe). It might be nothing, but it's noticeable.

02.40am
This isn't sparkling, thus far, although it's just fine. The focus is on the commentary, where they have spent a LOT of time talking about Bryanal Danson. Maybe the American Dragon is going to get a fair rub after all. They haven't mentioned any other NXT guy by name. Even when Regal was in the ring he didn't name his protege. I wonder if he'll mention his affiliation with Danielson.

King just called a slow-count by the ref that affected Miz, by the way.

02.46am
Cool visual as Show sends Henry crashing through the guard wall over where the announcers live.

Miz was busted open in the closing stages here, but they ended the match before he got treatment. Miz retains with an assist from a Big Show KO punch to MVP behind the ref's back. Show was a really good act during this match, playing the 'second' role very well.

The match was pretty good. Better than average without being truly standout.

02.53am
Massive review of the earlier Chamber match (without showing the Ted/Randy iron bar clip) to fill some more time.

02.55am
Rey into a pod and now Morrison is out here. Mention of his kayfabe injury, but no visible limp. Incidentally, I don't think Shawn Michaels has been mentioned all night.

02.58am
Jericho is next to step into a pod, followed by The Undertaker. That means Punk and Truth will kick us off.

03.08am
Punk gets beaten up by R-Truth for quite some time, but pulls out a GTS and pins Killings. Punk uses his stare time for his usual mic work. Good stuff.

Rey is next, and he is taking it to the Sermonator.

03.15am
There goes my pick. Punk is eliminated by Rey after a really fun five minutes (maybe a little longer) with a rana from the the top rope to the outside steel, followed by a springboard splash. Jericho is next. Much better chamber so far.

03.20am
Morrison is in, breaking Jericho's submission hold on Rey. That was dumb. Looks like Taker gets the dream spot. No sign of HBK.

03.25am
Morrison gets rid of Rey Rey - this crowd are very quiet. Strange. Pace has slowed a bit. Waiting for Taker......

03.32am
Still going with three here. Morrison isn't winning this, but he's done very well thus far. Starmaking performance? If there is a Money in the Bank at Mania, JoMo might be a contender now.

03.40am
Well, whaddaya know? It seems that Chris Jericho is the World Champion, and that Shawn Michaels cost Taker the match. Michaels popped out from underneath the metal floor outside the ring to leap up and superkick Taker.

Morrison had since been dispatched having hit a Chuck Kick but having a Spiral Ta.....dah, I mean, Moonlight Drive blocked by the knees of Undertaker, then falling to the Deadman with a massive chokeslam. Jericho and Taker fought in a great series of moves and exchanges before Taker hit a Last Ride. Setting up for something else, that's when HBK intervened.

Let's not complain that it was predictable. Maybe it was a little - we all called it - but it's still good booking. They shouldn't alter it just because a few Internet guys called them on it. They've invested too much in Taker/Michaels II to just drop it, and this made sense.

Batista's opponent is an interesting one. I can see a Triple H v Cena v Sheamus v Batista four-way, which isn't that appetising.

Overall, a strange show tonight. The last match was the best by a long, long way. The other matches, bar the Divas tag, were okay but not standout PPV quality. The storyline action from Shawn and Batista will carry this PPV a little bit further, though.

Shawn to explain himself and Edge to pick his poison tomorrow night on Raw, with a hint of Cena being pissed off at Vince and Sheamus wanting a rematch. Sounds good.

Good day to you.