Raw Number Three

This is so much fun, I thought I'd carry on for a bit.

So if you are catching up, I'd suggest you pop down a couple of entries, and read "retro reviews" of Episodes one and two of Monday Night Raw, and the look back at the '93 Rumble, too.

That brings us to Monday 25th January 1993, the third episode of Raw, shown, I would imagine, live from The Manhattan Center. Or maybe not, actually. The PPV the day previous was from Sacramento California, so I'd be interested in the logistics of sorting out that switch from wets coast to east.

Anyway, we kick off this week outside the arena with Mike Adamle......oh, wait, no, it's Mooney again. He catches Repo Man jumping out of a tow truck (!) You could be forgiven for thinking it was Chavo, you know, under that mask. Repo squeaks about being ready for Macho Man, and enters the building. Titles, then that bloody annoying siren again.......

Wahey, Heenan's back! We've still got Bartlett, which is a shame, but Bobby is in the chair, which is great news. I'll include some classic Heenanisms if he spouts them forth, which I'm sure he will. Looking forward to his reaction at Flair v Perfect.

The announcing trio run down what we will see tonight, and Repo Man is first out. He looks hilarious in Savage's hat. Savage runs in, no music, jumping the bell. Not many sold uncontrollable anger like Randy did.

They've now mentioned that Savage came close to winning the Royal Rumble, but they haven't said that Yokozuna won yet, nor that Bret beat Razor. Four minutes in. After five, Yoko gets a mention.

Savage dominates the early portion of the match, before Repo catches him outside the ring on the ring steps. This slows the match down. You forget when you go back to 1993 that a lot of workers like Darsow wrestled a very, very basic style back then. It's a quite boring middle section to this match. So boring the announcers have started talking about an inauguration, presumably of Bill Clinton.

Savage turns the tables, and quickly gets a win, landing his big elbow from the top. Feud over, lasted about a week and six minutes. Savage throws him to the outside, but refs won't let him nail Repo on the floor. Too bad. Savage has hit hat back, but it doesn't match. Savage needs Rico.

Hey, it's Mr Backlund! Back when he was still Bob, he tells us no-one should go to bed hungry, in another plug for Headlock for Hunger. Vince says "speaking of Africa......" and says Kamala is on the show later. Ooh, awkward segue city..........

Back from a break, Heenan pervs at the ring girl, as a good heel should, and we go to a Wrestlemania plug. Vince calls Caesar's Palace "Opulent and splendiferous." Erm, ok. The build up seems to be more for the building than the show.

Back to the arena, it's Kamala. Babyface Kamala, remember, as we saw a couple of weeks ago. And he's facing wrestling premier jobber, The wonderful Brooklyn Brawler. I think Brawler used to portray Kimchee quite a lot, ironically.

Good character development and focus on Kamala here, explaining the babyface turn. The crowd are chanting "You Are a Man" to Kamala. The only wrestler they've chanted that to. Apart from Chyna.

Vince mentions Harvey Wippleman bringing out Giant Gonzales the night previous, and says he is eight foot tall. Heenan says he is actually 20'2". Brilliant. (Wikipedia says actual height of 7'6". Who to believe, WWE or Wikipedia. Both such reputable sources (Note sarcasm)) Is that the first time Gonzales name was mentioned?

Kamala hits a splash, then starts rolling Brawler all over the ring. Eventually he pins him, in a very odd manner. Kamala the character isn't really my kind of thing, but credit to Jim Harris, who played him so outlandishly that it has worked for years.

Slick says that he is not responsible for Kamala's success. The people are. He says Wippleman and Kimchee ought to stay away from Kamala; he doesn't know what the Ugandan will do to them if he sees them. I'm genuinely intrigued by this, because I can't remember what happened to Kamala. Although I do remember him bowling.

Gene Mean runs through what happened at Royal Rumble in fine style, and it's time for Flair and Perfect. Perfect gets the upper hand early on, and Ric bails to talk to Heenan, who has a hammer. Ah, if I had one of them. I would hammer in the morning. I would never do it in the evening, though. Have respect for the neighbours.

You'd suggest we are in for a longish one here, as aside from trying to break the indoor record for reverse knife edge chops, this is a cagey opening. Just before a break, Flair throws Perfect to the outside, but is prevented from hitting him with a chair (wooden, not steel folding) by Earl Hebner. That was pretty stupid, he could have been disqualified. Surprised about that.

Back from break and Flair is on top. Just. In fact I think we just about avoided Flair doing a spot where his trunks get pulled down. Thank God he doesn't do that any more. Erm........

Perfect has been sent into a ringpost, and BLEEDS on Raw. Don't get that anymore. Flair uses all manner of nefarious tactics befitting the dirtiest player in the game, including a hilarious spot where he leans on Perfect's throat, choking him, all the while pleading innocence with the ref.

Perfect gets on top, with Heenan getting increasingly animated on commentary, and McMahon getting more with the "1...2...he got him! No he didn't!" routine. Bartlett, mercifully, has shut up.

I'm making fun of the announcing, but to their credit, they are calling it like it's the biggest match of all time. Keep in min Kurt Angle has a 'career' match every sodding week on Impact, and the commentators talk about something else. It goes for every match, though. Commentators refer loosely to the match, then talk about an angle from earlier that night, or plug Dixie's Twitter, or call the show the longest episodic weekly programme this side of Neptune or whatever, and largely ignore the action in the ring.

Flair takes over with a long sleeper, and after Perfect fights out, slaps on the Figure 4. Perfect recovers, and gets on top, but it's another break time. After the ads, Vince tells us there are nine minutes on the broadcast. Once again, an interesting allusion to reality. They talk about what will happen if the match ends after the broadcast ends. McMahon says they'll fight to a finish and they'll show the result next week. I mean, we both know it will finish before the end, but even lip service to it being real is nice, isn't it?

Flair clocks Perfect with a foreign object, but Hennig gets a foot on the ropes. This is a very good match, and I'm taking into account the fact that I know who wins, because should you not know the outcome, you'd be even more into this. ]

Just as Vince asks Bartlett why he is so quiet, Perfect starts, well, hulking up, basically. Irish whip. back drop, clothesline, then Flair's upside down corner bump and so forth. A series of nearfalls, to which the crowd seem largely apathetic. Hmm.

They soon wake up, though. Flair reverses an Irish whip to the ropes, and drops the head. Perfect hooks it, and hits a Perfect Plex. The directing and camerawork leaves much to be desired, as it is unclear whether Perfect gets three, but the large cheer, referee raising Hennig's hand and music playing all give small clues.

Heenan goes into overdrive. Vince tells Bobby it's his (Heenan's fault), and Heenan's response is bleeped out. Heenan leaves with Flair, who wouldn't be seen on Raw again in person until 2001, the day after the InVasion ended.

A plug for WWF mania is next, and then Vince telling us they are about to name a big match for next week. But first there are more ads........this better be a big match.......

IT'S.........Typhoon v Doink. Ooh, craptacular. That was worth waiting for. Meanwhile, Vince says that Flair will honour his obligations through the weekend - presumably they were fearing some house-show backlash if he didn't turn up as promised.

So, Typhoon v Doink, huh? Can't wait for that............That's so exciting, I'm going to have to continue these old Raw reviews now. Oh well..........

Raw number 2

I had some fun with the retro review of Raw #1 last week - more than I did this week's 900th effort, anyway - so I thought I may step on a week and see how WWE followed up their first ever Monday Night flagship show.

If you didn't see the review of the first show, then either scroll down a little bit, or if you are particularly lazy, just click here. http://robmcnichol.blogspot.com/2010/08/900-to-1.html

S0 lets fire up the time machine, and head back to January 18 1993, six days before the Royal Rumble of that year.

The show starts with Vince McMahon, Randy Savage and Rob Bartlett - a man who I had forgotten the existence of until review last week's show, and I realise exactly why my brain had chosen to blot him out. I prefer Michael Cole.......just.

Bartlett rips up a piece of paper with a picture on it, and says "fight the real enemy." I couldn't see who the picture was of (Heenan maybe?).

In a fun start, Savage is attacked from behind by Barry Darsow, in his guise as The Repo Man. Vince and Rob talk to Savage, as the very annoying opening siren drones on. Macho Man appears to have lost his hat. Oh dear. Sorry, I mean, OHhhhhhhh De-yuh!

After the opening theme music, it's......well, what do you know, TNA head of Talent Relations, 'Terrific' Terry Taylor. (Don't say rooster, don't say rooster, don't say rooster.......) His opponent is Mr Perfect, who was really over as a babyface at this point, having turn in the build up to Survivor Series, 1992, accepting the position as Randy Savage's tag team partner, replacing The Ultimate Warrior who had disappeared following one of his 465 sackings from WWF.

Savage meanwhile, on this show, hasn't spoken so far, so I'm assuming he's gone backstage and will re-emerge to wrestle Repo later on.

The match begins, and Vince acknowledges that Randy is 'on the prowl' looking for Repo Man. He soon returns, and says Repo Man clocked him, but he'll get him at some point. Perfect meanwhile, dominates the early stages, and the crowd chant "We Want Flair".

They've got Heenan on the phone now, and it apparently was Heenan's photo who Bartlett ripped up. Heenan plugs All American Wrestling. Savage asks about Repo and his hat. Uh, there's a match on. They go to a break, and they are all over the place.

Back from ad, and Heenan is still on the phone, Taylor on top in the ring. Heenan tells Vince he is calling collect - Vince says to hang up. Funny.

Perfect gets back on top, while the commentators plug the Rumble. Oh, here's Flair. He's looking old and telling the President of the company they are drop dead gorgeous. Oh no, that was Impact last week. Here, Ric looks like he did for most of career - like the challenged brother of Naked Gun actor Leslie Neilson.

Taylor knocks Hennig to the outside, and Flair attacks with the ref's back turned. Perfect is rolled back in the ring. Triple T attempts a suplex, but Hennig responds with.......well, it's known as a Fisherman's suplex, and Perfect called it the Perfect Plex. Vince calls it a Superplex. I guess I shouldn't get so annoyed with Cole when calls Randy Orton's powerslam a scoop slam, should I? Perfect gets the win and runs to the back, obviously to attack Flair.

A sign of the times - the camera gets to the curtain and stops. No going backstage in 1993.

After a break, a slightly skanky ring girl hold up a sign, before we get the same ICOPRO and Slim Jim ads as last week, as well as Lord Alfred plugging X-Men and Spiderman on SNES. I feel old.

Bret is next, appearing on Raw #2, where he was slightly more relevant than at #900. Decent interview, with the most notable thing being that Vince asks Bret about his strategy. They talk about being a technical wrestler, and about how he plans to win. Good lord, how we don't hear that any more. That should be the primary focus of World Title matches. Sure, have a reason for them to feud, of course, but they'll get that 'big fight feel' that they love to talk about if they actually treat wrestling as a serious sport.

After Bret, it's Paul Bearer and Taker in the blue screen interview room, where they talk about the Headlock on Hunger event to raise money for Somalia. No, I'm serious. Couldn't they have found someone other than THE TWO PEOPLE IN THE COMPANY ASSOCIATED WITH DEATH to try and get people to pledge money to, uh, stop people dying. The big guy says "No-one should starve to death". Uh, thanks Take, for those words of exquisite wisdom. That was just odd.

Marty Janetty v Glenn Ruth (DJ - Designated Jobber) is next. Marty on top, and Shawn is on the phone. He calls Janetty a simpleton, amongst other things, and says Sherri will be in his corner at the Rumble. Janetty eventually wins with the Rocker Dropper (Vince doesn't recognise it)

Crush isn't going to the Rumble apparently. We flip to WWE Superstars from the previous weekend, where Doink took out the big Hawaiian with a fake arm. Lawler and Savage on commentary do a really nice job, but Vince freaks out that Doink took his own arm off. I can't believe how bad Vince is, listening back. I thought he was good when I was a kid.

Poor Sean Mooney is still stood outside the building, just like last week, only this time he finds Repo Man, not Bobby Heenan. Repo has the hat, and Savage goes beserk, even though he changes his hat every week. They talk via the earpiece, and Savage takes off again. Repo Man is one of those gimmicks/acts that shouldn't work, but somehow did via the ridiculously over the top performance by Darsow.

Gene Mean is back with another Rumble plug. Razor with a brief threat to Bret. I loved that Razor character. I thought Scott Hall was fantastic for about three years as Razor. Gene Mean runs down some of the Rumble competitors. The gimmick of the graphic is that the still photos are 'bursting' through the wall. Which sounds lame until you see a picture of Fred Ottman (Typhoon) grinning ludicrous, and if you're like me you have a Shockmaster flashback. Poor Uncle Fred.

Back to Mooney outside, and Savage runs past him. Savage looks like such a bizarre, campy clown with all his purple tassles. I don't care how good a wrestler he was (and he was awesome) I always felt his attire hurt him around this time. Savage can't find Repo, so it's back to the ring.

Vince McMahon calls Tito Santana one of the greatest ever. So why did you dress him up like a bloody bullfighter? He is wrestling Ric Flair, with his appallingly bad midi file 2001 (A Space Odyssey) entrance music. Savage is back, and it'll be interesting to see how much he comments on Flair, since the pair of them had a rivalry that lasted most of the previous year.

It's no fun listening to anyone except Heenan call a Santana match. I miss Bobby. Does he get back onto Raw? I can't remember. Two minutes into the match and you start to recall why Flair was so great. He hasn't even got close to an offensive move yet, he has just fed for Tito the whole time, making him look good. I mean, Tito was pretty good, but Flair's way was to build the opponent convincingly, only to knock him down. Classic.

On commentary, Vince confirms Savage v Repo Man for the week after. Savage says he has to think of what to do for 7 days. Vince suggests, uh, the Rumble? Savage says "you're right". Nice to know the runner up cared so much.

Tito hits his big forearm, but for some reason doesn't cover Flair. He waits for him to get up, then charges again, misses, and falls to the outside. As he does, Perfect emerges to pull Flair out, drawing a DQ. Refs and agents come to break it, and they do the whole wild brawl spot. Savage calls it a Pier 9 brawl. I thought it Pier 6 was the rough one? Trouble must be spreading.

They brawl backstage, and Vince asks we can get a camera back there. Apparently not, since we now get a ten second close up of the curtain. They promise a word with Flair or Perfect after the ads......

Or not. Flair and Perfect fight through the curtain again. They split apart, and Flair heads to McMahon. Mic time......Flair says the WWE isn't big enough for him and Mr Perfect, so he is challenging Perfect next week on Raw in a Loser Leaves Town match.

Perfect soon wanders over, after Flair leaves. Perfect says he'll take it in a heartbeat. He calls he and Flair the two best athletes in the WWF. His music hits and the crowd cheer. I loved Perfect's music. One of the best ever.

The show ends with Repo Man having possession of that hat and a car. Oh yeah, I should have told you. Bartlett kept droning on about checking his car throughout the show, I just thought he was telling a bad joke.

Well, ok, he WAS telling a bad joke, but it was actually leading somewhere. I apologise for the omission. Please try to sleep tonight, won't you?

Monday Night War reactions: 2 - the Impact negatives

Yesterday I addressed a great many of the things that I liked about the Impact from Monday night.

In the interests of fairness I ought to take a lot at some of things I didn’t think worked at all, and a bunch of other things which I didn’t think work on the night, but I’m willing to sit back and watch to see how it comes together over several weeks.

I thought the biggest problem TNA had all night was that there were a lot of major errors of judgement or elements that made the hour hard to watch. I watched Raw live then Impact later so I can’t be a proper judge, and I am a Bret Hart fan so that would cloud me more, but I’m fairly sure that after the first hour of Impact I would have switched to Raw.

Obviously, as many have already said, the X-Division match was a bit of a disaster. If the whole point was to have Hardy start a programme with Homicide, surely they could simply have had a three way with Homicide, Red and Sabin, for example, and when Red retained Homicide goes crazy with the baton, with Jeff making a save. I guess the point was to have the visual of Jeff Hardy sitting on the cage, but to have an eight man match go to a DQ after four minutes was ludicrous, then there was the very dull bit where Homicide climbed anyway – badly. To round all this off Jeff Hardy landed a clean chair shot to Homicide’s head, and that wasn’t the only time that would happen during the night.

Off on a tangent before I come back to the dodgy first hour, I think the Jeff Hardy acquisition is a very odd decision. I know the guy is a major star, but I think it sends a bad message that this guy with many, many obvious problems and a possible custodial sentence hanging over him can walk into a job. I would be delighted, to tell you the truth, if that was a one night deal for now while Hardy sorts out his legal issues. Let Shannon Moore on Impact and have him talk about Jeff every week. Have Moore wrestle Homicide and have the Notorious 187 pick on Shannon, but then Hardy comes back to make the save at some point, should he be free from any major legal issues.

Also, if you are going to have a major star like Jeff Hardy, I’d make more of him than what they did. He was lost in a bit of a sprawl, and frankly both his and Flair’s appearance would have been bigger had the other one not happened. I think there was enough going on in the three hours to suggest that it would have been plenty of a success without Flair or Hardy, and that either of their returns could have been held back a couple of weeks to make the ongoing Impacts interesting.

Back to the problems with the opening hour, and I’d suggest that there were two other major problems with the opening match, aside from the four minute nonsense and the fans’ distain. One was that the red structure of the Steel Asylum looked awful. It shook when people climbed it and one section looked like it may fall down.

Also, and I’m not sure how they rectify this problem apart from moving to a much later timeslot, but the crowd’s “bullshit” chant had to be partially bleeped out, and it was embarrassingly hard to watch. I guess the first thing is that they need to not produce segments that make the crowd chant “Bullshit” (they did it again when Hogan dissed Jeff) and then it isn’t a problem. Going forward, I’d be interested to find out where they can take this, because if they were to end up going head-to-head against Raw, it would be odd to see a kid-friendly wrestling and a teen/18-40 wrestling show going out at the same time.

I didn’t at all care for the section of the fans saying “TNA is better than WWE” and “I want to watch wrestling, not kiddie comedy”. That to me was self-defeatist, because anyone agreeing knows that anyway, and anyone partially DISagreeing may well have just been reminded that WWE was on later that night.

Leaving the first hour aside for now, I’d say that the element of the show which I disliked the most was the talk of “the format”. Eric and Hulk ripping up “the format sheet” and then later Eric telling a runner to cut down a segment because it was running too long. I hated that. Wrestling (or Sports Entertainment) is a unique type of television show, I realise, but basically it is an amalgam of Sport and Soap Opera. You don’t watch a major sporting event – an NFL game, a Champions League football (Soccer) game, anything – and see them talk about ratings. Neither would you watch Eastenders or ER or CSI or any drama and have a character talk about doing something for ratings or to change the product. It’s ridiculous. How can you have a format for a sporting event full of a series of matches? You don’t know if that match will last twenty minutes or two minutes. How can you schedule that?

The biggest thing that has ever happened in wrestling was Scott Hall showing up on Nitro and the nWo beginning. They played that as “is it real, is it not real?” but they didn’t talk about a script or a schedule or a format. They let people’s imagination run wild and played it as though it was real. Austin was a wildman running roughshod over Raw and terrorising his boss. If he had stopped to say he was only doing it for ratings it would have bombed. If TNA never mention ratings again I’ll be delighted.

I’d also be happy if they didn’t use so many insider terms. I didn’t like Christy telling JB that if he let Foley in the building he’d “get heat”. I didn’t care for Hogan explaining that wrestlers would “get the push”. I hate that. If it’s a sport, then no-one “gets a push”. The guys that win more often get successful. They don’t get a push from management. Or at least they shouldn’t.

Some other minor points from the opening hour – I thought the Tara v ODB match was poor considering both girls are reasonably strong wrestlers. I thought neither of them had any character developed or explained, considering there may well have been new viewers. I didn’t like that AJ Styles, Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe were barely mentioned, if at all, in the first hour. I didn’t like that basically no big matches were announced. Two of the matches that were announced didn’t even happen (Rhino v Abyss and Beer Money v British Invasion).

A criticism I had early on in the show which was addressed as it progressed was “who is in charge?” It was very confusing in the opening ninety minutes or so as to who had any power. I understand that Hogan would be in a position to be an authority, but for quite a while Bischoff was spouting off without any real reason to. Then there was Foley and Jarrett. At least they addressed it all eventually.

I’m not crazy about TNA announcing “First evers”. They said it was the first ever Joe v Abyss. Hmm, I wonder who those two people I saw wrestle in Liverpool in June 2008 were. Looked like Joey and Abby to me.

The Nasty Boys. Hmmm. I actually thought that they were a fun addition to the show, and would although it wouldn’t be my type of wrestling, I think Team 3D v the Nasty Boys might be interesting to section of TNA’s audience.

Orlando Jordan? That is ridiculous. There is a point where more returns actually make things worse and not better, especially if they are wrestlers who haven’t been seen for a couple of years and made absolutely no impression when they were around. Perhaps they have signed him because of his first name, considering where Impact is filmed.

Considering they had three hours, there was not nearly enough wrestling for my liking, but to be fair they a lot of plot to fit in.

I didn’t care for Dinero beating Wolfe. The former Nigel McGuiness is a very talented wrestler who put on two awesome matches with Kurt Angle but jobbing to Elijah Burke? I don’t know, I thought that was poor. I’ll be honest, I have no love for the “Pope” character. I’m not offended by it, personally, but I couldn’t see why people might be. I just think it’s a bit over-the-top and doesn’t really work. Plus Wolfe is way to talented to be losing in three minutes.

Finally, I have one other point to make. The character blurring was an interesting aspect to the show, but there was probably a few too many “tweeners” (I hate that word, but I can’t think of anything better) all over the show. Foley, Jarrett, Hogan, Bischoff, Hall, Waltman and Nash were all played as tweeners. So was Flair, come to think of it. And maybe Sting.

Fans like people to cheer for. I know it is a Russo thing that characters ought to be grey rather than black or white, but you can’t have too many of them because the fans will be struck dumb. This is not a soap opera which you watch in a armchair. At least, you don’t watch others watching it from an armchair. As much as the wrestling, the atmosphere is generated by people watching a live spectacle, and for that to be effective, as it often is in the Impact Zone, people need to be booed and cheered.

I’m sure, though, this will be rectified. Actually no I’m not, but I’m sure they’ll try to rectify it. The hope is just that they do it right.

Good luck, TNA.

Monday Night War reactions: 1 - the Impact positives

Wow. Quite a day.

It’s taken me until now to get a look at both Raw and Impact, and its fair to say the combination of both shows being on at the same time has led to probably the biggest day in wrestling since Vince bought WCW back in 2001. Make no mistake, this is momentous. Not necessarily notice given that TNA will take over, but enough to suggest to me that they can be, and indeed perhaps already are, a player.

My thoughts, initially, soon after digesting both the shows and the fallout are that there is no clear winner here. I would think both sies are happy with their output. TNA debuted a raft of new stars – maybe too many – and got a great deal of people talking about their product. From what I hear of their rating – a rumoured 1.5 – they must be ecstatic about that too. They were never going to beat WWE on Monday, but they have drawn bigger than any point in their history. They now know that they CAN go on a Monday night.

WWE produced one of their best shows in a while as competition. Not just the Bret Hart stuff, mind. Bret’s exchanges with Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon were captivating, but you can’t base a whole show on that. DX had a great match with JeriShow (anyone else see Hunter give something to a front row fan? Possibly a cheeky dig at Bret?) and Orton continued his character development, first with a great exchange with Vince, before his Legacy brethren put him in his place. The wheels are really in motion for DiBiase v Randy again.

I’ve talked about WWE aplenty in my review at The Sun – CLICK HERE - so I’ll get down to a much more detailed appraisal of Impact in this blog. Stay tuned – there a lot of things to get through.

I’ll start with the positives, because there were many, and although numerically the negatives are going to probably win the day, I’d say a great many of these positives re more important.

I’ll start with what I felt was the most important thing of all, and suggest to me that Eric Bischoff had a HUGE amount to do with the TV show, and that is that the show felt chaotic. That is absolutely not a criticism, and is a huge piece of praise. I loved that old-school Nitro (and I mean early, successful Nitro) feel for the show. It felt live (well it was live, but Raw doesn’t even feel live any more, it is so sterile) and it felt as though anything could happen. That is why Nitro took over Raw because the WWE’s offering was taped at the time and the hook of Nitro was shocking happenings.

I particularly liked the cut during a match to the backstage area to show that the Motor City Machine Guns had been laid out. It showed that things could happen at any point. That a potential assailant was not pausing for the end of a match before attacking was great.

The show had Bischoff fingerprints all over the thing, and that’s great. Here’s the thing that is never said about WCW – what if Bischoff had more power? What if he hadn’t been shackled so much by the corporate environment? Admittedly he wouldn’t have been able to spend so freely, but that now doesn’t become a factor, since they have the talent they need available. I think Bischoff is a very intelligent man who will have learned about everything that ahs happened to him over the years. I’d reign back his on air performance as much as I can, but encourage him to get involved backstage as much as humanly possible.

Let’s note a couple of other things I really loved. Obviously the main event has to be respected. A fantastic match between two brilliant wrestlers with top notch quality. It was a good decision to have a seriously good match to close the show. No-one really knows how many typical Raw fans saw it, but that was probably better than any match which took place on Raw in 2009. It would help cement TNA as wrestling, not sports entertainment.

I liked the Sting cameos. I know it is old, but as long as he doesn’t stalk Hogan for a year and attack him like he did in WCW, then its fine by me. Sting can’t be expected to be one of the guys or to wrestle every week. Everyone knows his rafters gimmick, so can buy into it quickly. Do this for a month or so and then have him rappel at some point for a big angle, whatever it may be. Sting is talented enough on the mic to be babyface or heel – I’d make him a heel. Has Sting ever really been a heel? Not often, if ever. If there is going to be a Foley/Jarrett stable of sorts to fight Hogan and co. then I’d side Sting with them. Have him call the people idiots for cheering Hogan and saying people like him come to TNA, give them blood sweat and tears and then get kicked to the curb.

I loved Flair getting out of the limo. That felt major. In fact I liked the intrigue surrounding Flair full stop. Ric Flair is a promo guy par excellence who should be allowed sufficient time and focus to make his first verbal gambit. Not lost amongst a sprawl of tons of stuff. I have no idea how Ric Flair will be used, but I hope they find something useful for him, because he will be earning plenty of dollars.

I also liked Flair taking a look at the main event and nothing more being made. I like that kind of segment which isn’t explained. It suggests that things are in the pipeline.

I liked the initial comment by Nash that Hulk Hogan was coming “but not alone”. There was then someone switching limos to join Hogan. I assume that was meant to be Bischoff. It wasn’t clearly explained, but I really liked the build that Hogan’s arrival was a big deal. He made it look stupid by saying “I’ve been in the back all day” when he was supposed to be arriving by limo, but I guess you could explain that away by saying that he was, then disappeared to pick Bischoff up.

I am keen on the fact that there were plenty of questions to be answered throughout the show and indeed plenty still remain. I might have liked my announcers to play them up a little more, but think of: Who is the guy in black that attacked AJ? Is Hogan siding with the (former) nWo? What will happen with Foley and Jarrett? What are Sting’s intentions? Will Jeff Hardy stick about? Lots to think about, and more besides these points mentioned.

I liked Foley trying to get in and being thwarted. In fact more than anything else I liked that they had a spot with Christy Hemme as an interviewer talking to a generic fan but interrupted it so she could, run and talk to Mick. I’m sorry that Christy’s body is in a bad way, but I think she’ll be a very, VERY good backstage interviewer. Back on track, I felt that Mick’s spots throughout the show build nicely from a polite wish to get in the building to a furious drive to see Hogan. I especially liked parts of the last segment where Mick talked to Sean Morley (more on that later) and (gasp) logic came to the fore. Morley mentioned an office “down the hall on the left” and Mick commented that there was only one office “down the hall on the left”. The underlying meaning here was that Morley didn’t know whose office that was, and Foley knew that he meant the office that he (Foley) once occupied.

I liked Hogan being on the show at the top of the hour. It made great sense, and showed me that TNA understand the scheduling of a head-to-head show. That may sound obvious, but it was a boneheaded mistake WCW used to make.

As long as they don’t hang about for three years and take up loads of TV time, I liked the Nasty Boys’s involvement. Ignore the fact that they are Hogan’s buddies, they are interesting, they have character, and a tease for a brutal match with Team 3D is exciting.

I really enjoyed the Girls tag match. The initial Tara v ODB match where a title changed watered down the tag title switch, but the match itself was very good.

I know it was a bit derivative, but I liked the Beautiful People segment. Look, WWE is going PG, so it behoves TNA to go down the opposite path. Therefore, if you have three hot women whose gimmick is being beautiful, and at least one of them (Lacey) can’t really wrestle, it makes sense to me to have them strip down a bit. The show will lose credibility quickly if there is nothing but scantily clad girls dancing about, but if this supposed to be an adult show it doesn’t hurt to have to sexual content. And actually this isn’t even sexual content, it was just slightly titillating.

The former Val Venis, Sean Morley, is a solid hand, and it really would not surprise me that his return is as much as an agent as a wrestler. Either way, it’s a solid acquisition.

Krystal did a great job on Bobby Lashley’s behalf. I have met Bobby Lashley and Krystal, and they are genuinely nice people. Bobby is a hell of a guy and I hope he does fantastically well in MMA. That said, I always thought he was overpushed in WWE and that his TNA run has been poorly received, at least compared to the hype. I was in California for Bound for Glory, and Lashley got booed out of the building trying to play babyface against Samoa Joe.

I’ve now seen the ratings – I’m not going back and editing, because I can’t be bothered. I like the fact that this is stream of consciousness, and it gives you a flavour of how long this blog post has taken me so far.

In fact, I’ve gone on for plenty enough time. That’s pretty much it for the positives aspects of TNA. I have plenty of negative points which I’ll come back to in a post very, very soon.

Stay tuned.

January 4th - MNW2?

January 4^th has the potential to be one of the bigger days in modern wrestling history.

At some point in the future, near or distant, we’ll be able to assess just how important TNA’s Monday Night Experiment has been.

I think it is important for fans – and for TNA – to not expect too much. This is a one off, at an odd time of the year, with neither company coming off any particularly interesting, earthmoving angles. TNA possibly have a little more in the way of momentum, thanks to a sterling set of PPV efforts at the back end of 2009, but they were more about talented wrestlers coming to the fore for individual matches than great payoffs to amazing angles.

From a WWE perspective it is a major coup to have Bret Hart on their side. If rumours of his contract are true, then he ought to be around until Wrestlemania. I am very interested to see what plans WWE have for him, although I doubt any plans are set in stone right now.

An interesting aspect to the Hitman’s return is the little group of people WWE are setting up around him, at least for now. Obviously Vince has been heavily involved on TV when Hart’s name has come up. Then SSM (Serious Shawn Michaels – as opposed to WSM, or Wacky Shawn Michaels) had one of the most interesting talking segments in ages alongside Mr McMahon on Raw this week. Factor in the association with The Undertaker and what you have are possibly WWE’s most reliable hands surrounding the Bret hart story. Whichever way they go with it, they have options, and good ones.

(Incidentally, I personally think it’s a mistake to do Shawn v Taker II, because they will struggle to top their original effort. If they were to go at it again, I’d have them do it at a Summerslam. Also, I think it ought to be an up and comer who breaks Taker’s streak. Mr Wrestlemania does not need the rub. Finally, on this topic, I think that Cena v Taker is begging to be done, while Shawn has potential marquee, quality matches with Hunter, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, even a returning Jeff Hardy. Neither Shawn or Taker will be around for four more years, why waste time in making these new matches by rehashing an old, albeit great match)

Back on topic, and I thought we’d take a look a few key areas we need to keep an eye on this Monday.

1 Bret Hart

Perhaps the most encouraging thing about the whole January 4^th scenario is that WWE felt sufficiently nervous about the face-off as to sort out Bret Hart as guest host. They would likely claim that they were planning it anyway, but I think it’s fair to assume that it’s a direct piece of opposition.

But how much of an effect will Bret have? That is a big question to be answered, and we’ll find out to an extent very soon. If I were TNA, a big worry I would have is that TNA’s is a knowledgeable wrestling audience, who will have seen Hogan come and go in WWE but haven’t seen Bret in twelve years. Hogan has no loose ends to tie up, Bret does. I can see Bret being a bigger draw to the TNA audience than Hogan would be to WWE fans.

There are very few things in wrestling that gets one excited, but I am very excited to see what happens with Bret on Raw. Admittedly I am a huge Bret fan, but I still think it’s a pretty much unmissable event. The bigger worry is that WWE will somehow miss the boat, jump the shark or any other synonym for buggering it up.

2 Hulk Hogan

It has often been said that TNA need just one big name to tip them over the edge to the big time. That may true, but it was said before they took Christian. And Kurt Angle. And Mick Foley.

The big news with Hogan, I think, is not that he will be a TV draw necessarily, or that he will have matches with anybody. It’s the fact that he is supposedly in charge. It’s like Liverpool deciding they need a new manager and hiring Pele. No-one really knows whether he’ll be a good manager, but people will be interested to find out.

There are a lot of good things about TNA, many more than most give credit, but there a lot of shoddy aspects too. There needs to be a careful straining of the dross and retention of the qualities that could make them a hot commodity.

The big problem is the writing. The Impact shows are often very hard to watch. They need to be a WWE-alternative, and to me that means doing different things to the competition. But it means I’d have a different format to the show, more focus on wrestling and things like that. Not more outlandish matches, equally daft comedy and a reliance on older stars.

Hogan has mentioned that he wants look at everything from the logo to the shape of the ring. I wholly endorse that. Something WWE has right, and wrestling has done forever, is a square ring. Have Hogan stand in a ring and say “we are going back to wrestling, and that means a wrestling ring.” Heck, they could even debut a new name, because TNA doesn’t really trip off the tongue. Total Nonstop Action certainly doesn’t.

For this Monday, will Hogan affect TNA that much? Not on his own, I don’t think so. I think it’s more the switch to Monday that will be the big thing, but it has undoubtedly got more publicity because of Hogan being on board, so I think it’s a symbiotic thing.

3 Returns and Surprises

This is more of a TNA point than a WWE one. TNA have an unopposed hour before Raw goes on air. I fully expect that to be their highest rated hour, since surely most wrestling fans that are aware of the battle would flick it on to at least what is going on.

TNA, therefore, have to load that hour and try to retain that audience. Matches, promos, returns, surprises, announcements – whatever they have to do. Don’t forget that the first ever episode of Nitro was unopposed, and they created a fresh look, marquee matches like Sting v Flair, great matches like Pillman v Liger, and the shocking defection Lex Luger.

TNA can lock in a marquee match or two thanks to their line up. They can certainly liberally sprinkle the show with quality, entertaining matches. A fresh look is possible too. They cannot have a big name defection, however, unless someone has duped WWE’s lawyers into giving them an awesome contract!

What they can do, though, is debut a big name or two.....or three. Or more. How about this for a potential first hour........

Show opens with Hogan cutting a short promo about changing the face of TNA. Interruption by Nash, who tells Hogan he was the driving force behind the nWo, and Hogan is nobody. Nash vows to not let Hogan get his way. Interruption by Foley, who tells Hogan that while Hulk and Goldberg were doing their thing, he was winning the WWE title and people cared. Foley was brought into TNA and told he would have creative input. He vows not to let Hogan’s circus come in and ruin TNA. Setting up a nice power struggle, potentially, with logical reasons for guys not liking Hogan because of past issues.

Next, we have an X-Division number one contender’s match between four guys who go nuts for ten minutes. Maybe Shelley, Lethal, Creed and Suicide. Suicide wins.

Backstage to JB with Hogan who announces Samoa Joe v Desmond Wolfe and Kurt Angle v Daniels for later in the show.

Knockouts match with Tara defending and winning against Sarita. Let them have a cool match and shake hands afterwards. Perhaps ODB appears and threatens Tara.

Go then to an Amazing Red v Chris Cabin X Division title match. Let them pull out everything they can before lights go out. People assume a Suicide run-in, the lights come back on RVD is in the ring. He lays out both Sabin and Red with a chair and says that’s how you make an extreme Impact. Hogan emerges and says “you want to make an Impact? Styles v RVD, tonight.” Make Hogan the guest referee and we’re in business.

I don’t know about you, but Bret Hart or no Bret Hart, I wouldn’t switch that off.

Keep the other couple of hours flowing, put some decent focus on some names you want to push – Morgan, Beer Money – and let Joe/Wolfe/Angle/Daniels express themselves.

Then close the show with Hogan screwing AJ and aligning himself with Van Dam. Might as switch the title too. I’d then roll Dixie out for a live Impact zone appearance and declare that Hogan doesn’t have it all his own way. She books RVD v Styles for the next PPV, and she’ll pick the ref. End show.

Of course, that’s fantasy booking, and I’m assuming that RVD has signed, which is guesswork. It strikes me he would sooner or later, but I really don’t know that. I don’t think it’s a stretch, though, that Van Dam, Flair and Kennedy/Anderson would be likely to be seen in TNA sooner or later. I also know that TNA are very good at keeping big signings under their hat (See Angle, McGuiness) so may well have something up their sleeve.

I would implore them, though, to produce those things in the first hour. Don’t hold things back and say “Coming up, a big announcement.” Wrestling fans are programmed to not believe that anymore, because it’s usually a bogus bait-and-switch which lets us down.

Making a three-hour show captivating is now easy, but TNA have done it with their last few PPVs. Make this into a PPV, basically, and load it with moments to make the fans – even those familiar with the product – go “wow”.

My proposed first hour has star power; exposition about Hogan’s position; the promise of great matches to come; innovative X-Div action; the showing off of two of their USPs - the girls and the X-ers; and a shocking comeback which also offers promise of a massive main event. Then the rest of the show delivers big time.

Of course it would be a gamble to throw away a lot of stuff for free like that, but the agenda has to be show that Raw is stale and TNA is fresh. Or at least the new TNA is fresh.

4 Ongoing Storylines

An area WWE perhaps have a small advantage on, because it looks like the culmination of JeriShow v DX as well as the Bret Hart return, and I really wouldn’t be surprised to see a cross over there. TNA only really have the Hogan buzz without any massive set of storylines to surround. However, it’s a good time to start building stuff, and again they ought to load that first hour with a couple of blinding opening chapters.

5 John Cena

I think it’s a big thing that WWE don’t have their main guy on the show this week. I know he isn’t loved by all, but he deserves his spot and if some know he is not involved, it might be more cause to flip over the channel. Perhaps not the major reason, but many minors make a major.

6 TNA’s size and reputation

I keep trying to ask myself whether TNA now is as big a name in wrestling as WCW was when it moved to Mondays. There are a lot of similarities, but surely the ultimate answer is “No.” WCW had true NWA heritage, unlike TNA’s which is barely concocted. Yes TNA probably have bigger name wrestlers, but WCW circa 1995/6 was on a bigger network and doing vastly better PPV numbers. Hogan v Flair on their first PPV in 1994 did a massive PPV rating, and this was way before Nitro. WCW had a core audience, and it was bigger than TNA’s.

Look at Bound for Glory. It is billed as the biggest show in their calendar, but even papering barely filled a small arena in California. I know you can say this is not one of their bigger markets, but on Monday night they go on TV coast-to-coast. Market or no market in the south west of the US, this show is on all over the country. TNA might have a big following here in the UK, but we don’t get the show live.

I fear that people may be aware of Hogan, but not enough of TNA that it will get them to watch the show. And when I say people, I don’t mean current wrestling fans, I mean former fans that might be attracted back. After all, those are the people that made the initial difference in the first Monday night War.

7 The Future

As much hype as this is getting, it is only one day. One show. Whatever both companies produce after this is the real key. Not just the next month, but beyond.

WWE have no real pressure. Raw has been largely awful for six months but ratings don’t drop below 3.0. I know that is small fry considering what they drew ten years ago, but it’s still out of the realms of anything TNA has come close to by a million miles. TNA have to be consistently good for many months, to the extent where people reading spoilers think “I should start watching this show” and their buddies who do tell them “watch TNA, it is great”. That is how they are going to grow, not thanks to a show this Monday, whatever rating it does.

A small rating for TNA on Monday is not a failure, in the same way that a huge one is not necessarily a success. Change will take time, as will increase in viewership, should it ever happen. A large rating will show interest is there, but if in a months, two months, six months time it is 1.0 again, then it was worthless.

---

Good luck to all parties Monday night. If you are a wrestling fan in the US, I implore you to watch TNA’s first hour, then vote with your remote. If you liked it, give them a chance and record Raw. If not, then they had a shot, blew it, and you can see what Bret is up to.

Either way, have fun. After all, that is what wrestling ought to be about.

Raw Thoughts - June 1

· Always like a cold opening of Raw. Logical Orton promo, makes sense to have Cage match as a build up, and I particularly liked the interaction between Cody and Randy, where Randy truly did seem like a mentor and Cody eager to impress his boss.
· Good intensity from Ric’s promo, but overdid the ‘Punk’ thing. Especially when they have a wrestler on the roster (admittedly on another brand) that goes by that epithet.
· Why would Rhodes try to escape within a few seconds? Isn’t the idea that he is a sacrifice to hurt Batista a bit?
· Hardly a technical classic, but I thought that Big Dave looked really good in that short match. That’s the best way to promote the guy as a big threat to a champion.
· Matt and Regal being helped out by management after toadying around them is quite a nice idea, as is being given a title shot, as is using it for antagonising each other. But surely not within two weeks. It’s a nice theory, but it’s just too rushed.
· See, that’s why the US Title is not taken seriously. It’s more than 30 minutes into the show and they’ve only just reminded us that MVP v Kofi for that title is on the show. I, for one, had forgotten, and I’m actually looking forward to it. Start the show, say “Randy Orton from Legacy is in the ring, we’ll see what he has to say, on a night where the US title is on the line and John Cena doesn’t know who his partner is....” then you have a couple of hooks right from the start.
· I think any title match should be positioned as a main event. You have more variety on the show, make each belt feel more important and therefore a bigger draw. Also, and this is very important, it gives plenty more individuals the chance to shine.
· Hey, Spongebob is pretty over.
· King calls it unorthodox, I call it one of the oddest matches ever. I don’t know who I am supposed to cheer for, or sympthise with, or what. Cena hates Show, Miz hates Cena, Show hates Miz, Chavo tries to get all to like him, everybody hates Chavo, Joanie Loves Chachie, Everybody loves Raymond, Everybody hates Chris, Everybody wants to rule the world, Nobody does it better, everybody needs somebody to love.
· Sweetheart to miss
· Sugar to kiss
· Almost a good backstage MVP/Kofi segment, but just felt too forced.
· Nice match for the US Title. Wasn’t really expecting Kofi to win, which made it nice. That match is definitely the highlight of the show thus far.
· “That’s what Cody said” from DiBiase to Orton, as Randy talks confidently of standing tall. Great line, and there is a definite sense of Ted being protected, not just from a physical perspective, but he is the one who talks more sense, and seems to have backbone, whereas Cody does pander to Randy a bit.
· A video of a hog pen, and the commentators explaining that matches of this ilk have taken place in the past. No footage of Triple H being made to look like an idiot, though. Funny that.
· I’ll admit that Santino throwing the contents of that bucket in a circle and hitting the caerma was funny, but that whole segment generally was, well, excrement. Someone, somewhere, thought that was a good idea. Think about that.
· If Flair wanted a man-to-man fight, then couldn’t he have stood eye-to-eye rather than using a sneak attack?
· Remember how many people said how badly Rey Mysterio was booked as a champion, and that he may have been the weakest looking champ ever? Well, might Orton be the most flip-flopping champ ever in terms of booking? There have been times where he looks imperious, kicking people in the head, standing tall and being mean, but every now and again he gets beaten down by someone who didn’t ought to best him. Vince, Shane, an injured Triple H, and now a retired Ric Flair. The one man who has yet to look strong against Orton, really, is Batista. The one I’ll give the segment is that it had heat. And the punt followed by the face-off across the cage was pretty cool.
· How long did Batista take to emerge to help his ‘friend’, by the way
· And how stupid were the babyfaces tonight? Why didn’t Batista try to climb the cage straight away? Didn’t Santino realise he was getting set up? Cole and Lawler saw Vickie plotting with Hardy and Regal. Why didn’t Marella? Why didn’t Cena just try a different submission hold? Maybe an anklelock?
· Meh sort of Raw. Some good bits, but not a great episode to help sell me a PPV. Actually, I think the one bit which made me think "I'm looking forward to Sunday" was the advert for Edge v Jeff Hardy. Says a lot, really.

Raw Thoughts - May 26

· Wow, who would have thought that a bloke playing Stan Kroenke would be first out on Raw. Oh, right – everybody.
· And who would have thought that Stan Kroenke says “each and every one of you” just like each and every.....I mean all of WWE’s employees do.
· Pleased to see JR on Raw. Let’s see if he laughs uproariously when Santina shows up.
· XBA – that’s actually pretty funny. Good to see Vince poking fun at himself.
· I really don’t know whether Vince is going for a Penis joke or an Anus joke.
· Oh right, there we go. That should have been the cue for Val Venis, really.
· Interesting that Vince didn’t make a reference to L. Brent Bozell III, former leader of the PTC who tried to take advertisement money away from WWE Smackdown – this prompted the frankly tedious Right to Censor.
· Average women’s title match. It was a smart idea to make the focus a bit of a bitchfght rather than a wrestling match, as that doesn’t really suit either girl. Finish was a confusing copout though. If Maryse was DQ-ed, why was the referee counting before he threw the match out?
· So, its a triple threat, fairly important because the winner gets to face the US champion next week. So important, in fact, that said champion, MVP, strolls to the ring to get a better look. JR calls “business has just picked up” every one gets excited.......so its advert time. I know that it is done so that people should be hooked and won’t change channel during the advert, but it is so frustrating. Surely hooks can better than this.
· Having said that, nice feel to the show so far. I liked the opening melee, which felt like old-school Raw that I reference last week, and I’m intrigued to see who the mystery partner will be
· My guess, though, would be Vince
· I liked the triple threat, interesting decision to go with Kofi as MVPs opponent. I look forward to the match, but I don’t know if that will draw many fans.
· Enjoyed the intensity between Randy and Ric, even if it was short. Handled that part of the seg well.
· I don’t understand the inclusion of Kennedy at this point, unless he is turning during the main event. To me, you build the surprise all night. Get Cody to run into Randy in the dressing room and whisper who it is, and have Randy sell his dismay. Then have MVP and King talking, and then someone opens a door. They look off camera, and say “you’re our partner? Cool” then fade out. Then you’ve got a build throughout the show.
· “Marella Original” – got nothing, but good line.
· Are you going to buy Extreme Rules for a Hog Pen match?
· I say a history of Hog Pen match DVD is in order. If only to see them release a DVD almost exclusively featuring Triple H getting shit all over him.
· I like the idea of the Kendrick partner search, as long as he eventually finds one to suit him and they have a good run. The execution thus far, though, has been tedious.
· Not a bad ten-man finale. Went on a bit, frankly, and I’m guessing my English lack of knowledge about basketball meant I missed a lot of references.
· Bit of a nothing ending. No real Kennedy involvement, no Flair run in. Just a bit flat.

Raw Thoughts, March 30th - Final Raw before Wrestlemania delivers, big style

· So that’s 18 Divas in the opening contest. Was there anyone from WWE (other than those injured) who was not represented? I guess that means 7 guest spots open.
· Vaguely pointless match. But Santino’s appearance got a huge pop in the arena and in my house for the Jack Tunney reference. Daft stuff, but mildly amusing.
· Jericho and Lawler serves as a passable piece of TV to continue the build to Jericho’s Mania match, but showed exactly why the thought of these two facing each other at the big one itself was rightly ditched at an early stage.
· Another nice little touch by Michaels. Didn’t ham it up, but just appearing and saying “expecting someone else”. I’ve loved this build-up, and can’t wait for the match.
· They showed Lawler coming back to ringside, and I couldn’t help but think that Jericho should have attacked him from behind. That would have been just perfect. Jericho backs out of a fight after the match, and then cracks Lawler from behind like a coward. Makes sense to me.
· I don’t like showing a match on Raw that will feature on the Wrestlemania card, especially since it basically went nowhere, had a break in it, and featured some action at the start of the match you would expect to see near the end.
· I would suggest the idea will be that the Rey winning means a few people will tale this to mean that he’ll win at Mania and thus will buy the show for the joy of seeing Myserio win a title.
· Dull match with Cena and Show, but interesting to see Show win clean and perfect character booking for Edge to appear and feast on Cena’s carcass post-match. I really don’t know who’ll take this match, you know.
· Another tremendous HBK/Undertaker segment. Although there were a few extra points I’d like to make:
o Kudos to Shawn for mentioning 24 years and not 25.
o Where did he get that black eye and cut on the nose from?
o Nice nod to history in that the attacked always comes from the casket, and this time it looked that way twice and didn’t happen.
o Shame the Superkick missed.
· Fun little Battle Royal. Common sense to have Kane win it as he has traditionally been good in that kind of match. I was disappointed they didn’t reference Punk’s elimination of Kofi, seeing as they won the Tag Titles together not long ago and now Punk is throwing him out of the ring.
· That final segment - the final segment of Raw before the biggest show of the year, remember -was absolutely tremendous.
· I thought Orton’s structure explanation of all his actions was cold, calculating and well put to get the fans to strongly book him. Then, the Limo arrival, which I have to admit had me fooled. I fancied a Triple H sneak through the crowd, a demolition of Rhodes and DiBiase before an RKO and a closing scene of Orton standing tall over Hunter with the title belt. Instead, we got Shane and Vince, with a crowd going batshit insane.
· Perfect pacing, beautiful setup, and I couldn’t be more ready for Wrestlemania.
· Taxi! London Heathrow airport, please. I’ve a plane to catch.

Raw Thoughts: March 10

· We will be going live Randy Orton’s home, apparently. I think I could stake fairly decent money on the fact that Triple H may just show up, and it won’t be with a neighbourly cup of sugar.
· Just top class verbiage from Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker. Genuinely made me want to see the match even more, and I already have my ticket! I actually quite liked the fact that they occasionally stumbled over a word or two because it heightened the tension and emphasised the emotion.
· I’m also really glad the writers didn’t choose to undermine the importance of the Mania match by having Michaels superkick Taker or the Deadman chokeslamming HBK, because that would have been cheap.
· Oh, and Michael Cole saying “Vintage Shawn Michaels” straight after the promo was just so plastic and felt tacked on. I know I sound like a broken record, but Raw is supposed to be the flagship show and has the third best announce team.
· A pretty good match between JBL and Punk for what it was, and the fact that he’ll be presumably defending this at Mania makes sense, and Punk will be MITB anyway. It’s just a shame this was not a surprise because of the leaked script.
· A word on that actually. Despite being part of the hated Internet Wrestling media, I really don’t like things like the leaked script. I like to speculate and to guess on what will happen, and yeah a little inside information here and there is nice and helps me, but mostly I don’t like to know the score. I was at Bound for Glory and watched it sat two seats from Dixie Carter, and surrounded by company writers, wrestlers and agents. I watched the participants in matches go through spots and organise their matches, and it was a very cool experience. However, when we sat down to watch the matches, the three of us that were there as journalists had a competition to guess who would win. Admitted we did quite well, even guessing the manner of certain victories, but that didn’t detract from our enjoyment, and the fact that we were kept guessing made it more fun.
· Things like the leaked script make Vince McMahon and the like more paranoid and I don’t blame them, because although it’s cool to know what Chris Irvine, rather than Chris Jericho, is like, or learn bits about how the show is put together, I don’t think people ought to see such explicit detail. Admittedly, that makes me sound a hypocrite because I have seen a script such as this before, but to the majority these things should be kept secret to heighten the magic, in my eyes.
· Back to Raw, and to Randy Orton speaking from his house. Interesting that they introduced his wife. Didn’t he confess to sleeping with Kelly Kelly about six weeks ago? Bet she’s happy with that one.
· Divas lumberjacks.........the high angle shot does neither Jillian nor Rosa Mendes any favours.
· That’s frustrating. Far too short and a weak ending. For what is was, that was pretty good divas action, but how can the alleged best two divas in the company be taken seriously if their match lasts about four minutes, if that?
· To her credit, I think Maryse is as improved as anybody in the last 6-12 months.
· Edge, Show, Cena, Vickie.........what........the hell........was that?
· Ought to comment really, didn’t I? Well, it was very contrived and ought really to have been a show-ender, but while Triple H and Orton are about they are going to be the focus. I don’t know why Cena did the “I love Vickie” thing, because it really just served to confuse people, and then it was abandoned anyway. I think Cena could have just shown the “GTV” footage and had done with it. Still, they have to work it in somehow, and I’m all for having more Edge and Vickie soap opera stuff, because it’s a riot.
· Vickie better throw Alicia Fox in Edge’s face, because he has done exactly the same thing. I imagine it’s supposed to be a mirror of that incident. I would doubt this is the end of the Vickie/Edge partnership. In fact I’d suggest Edge will win the Triple Threat with Vickie’s help, and this will be revealed to have all been a plot.
· The Jericho thing worked fair enough, although I hope against all hope that Flair doesn’t come out of retirement. It was the best retirement angle of all time, and to sully that would be criminal.
· Christian working a six-man filler match. My God, what terrible use of him. Even if you are going to have him brought back in that miserable way on ECW, surely for his return to Raw you could have a 10 second vignette from backstage. Have Edge on the phone, or talking to a backstage lackey, ranting about first Cena interfering, Show being around and now his wife letting him down, then saying you should be able to trust family. Edge then looks shocked, Christian walks by, smiles, and walks away. It would just make him feel like a slightly bigger deal, and would be an impactful announcement to the Raw audience that he is back. Simples.
· The match utterly worthless, lasting only a few seconds and further watering down the Rey Mysterio act. I’ve often said that I’m not his hugest fan, but he’s a talented and over dude who was the star of the best match at No Way Out about three weeks ago. Why isn’t he front and centre of Raw right now? I’m begging for his to go back to Smackdown and have Michael hayes lay out thered (well, blue) carpet for him
· I didn’t care for that final segment. I’m ok with the overall concept, but I thought the camera work was a little too clean. The cameras were really well positioned – too much so. You need that edgy feel as though everything is live and happening for real so you can lose the reality bubble for a second. That was impossible because it felt like a movie. Especially the camera waiting outside the window.
· Orton shouldn’t have been so agile after being thrown through the window. Within 30 seconds of being thrown through several panes of glass he got up, no sign of a cut on him, and tried to a attack a handcuffed Triple H. Come Wrestlemania, ninety seconds into the match he’ll stay down for longer after a right hand.
· Sometimes less is more. I know they were going for the full effect, but they could have left more to the imagination. The reason people will instantly compare this to Austin v Pillman is testament to how that angle worked. It felt real. Both men’s characters were nutcases at the time and the camera feed broke. You wondered what the hell had happened. Would it have been the worst thing in the world for Hunter to have stormed into the living room to interrupt the interview, stand in front of the camera and smash it? Raw would then cut to Cody and Ted looking petrified for their cohort and Cole and Lawler could squeal “what the hell happened?” as Raw goes off the air.
· You then have a hook for more footage from a second camera being played on Smackdown, and a better cliffhanger feel to it.
· I don’t like the fact that Triple H has two (legitimate) reasons to be in jail and that Cena was a prick to Edge and Show. Like Bret Hart I could be accused of being stuck in the past, but I think a babyface should be in essence virtuous and heroic. Not psychotic and a piss-taker.
· An ‘eh’ Raw. Plenty of good stuff (Flair’s teasing return, the intrigue of where JBL will take the IC title, the announcement of the divas match, even if the seg was probably too short, and of course HBK/Taker) but the big title segments felt forced or out of place. Much of Edge/Cena/Show was ok, but it didn’t flow and didn’t suit characters. Triple H has gone crazy because Orton put his hands on The Game’s wife, so wouldn’t Edge want to immediately go after Big Show and knock his block off.

Raw Thoughts - Feb 2

· Two things to note from the opening two minutes of Raw. It’s in St Louis, and Shane is out first. How babyface will Shane try to be? Orton is in his hometown.
· There’s intrigue and teasing, but Orton took an age to get to the ring. That was outright boring.
· Shane having the Kendo stick was a nice touch. That was fine, he needs to put over the fact that he can use his smarts to outgun Orton.
· The fact that the match No Holds Barred throws one major question up at me. Will Cody and Ted interfere? Because if it is no DQ, then why shouldn’t they just attack Shane throughout? I wonder if maybe Randy will make an agreement with them, or with Shane, that it maintains 1 v 1.
· Standard booking to allow Regal to get his heat back and make you think he has a shot at taking the IC title back.
· Pathetic ending to a match in the tag contest. Why can’t Priceless just beat Cryme Tyme. They are the ones receiving a huge push, and Cryme just need two weeks of singing to their fans to get back their place in their hearts.
· Booking finishes to matches like this and then having a spot after the match is educating the audience (even more than previous) that the match outcome is irrelevant and the matches don’t matter in the slightest. That’s not a good route to go down.
· Interesting to and fro with Jericho and Cena. I would have preferred that Cena hadn’t called Jericho an “idiot” but aside from that it was ok. Interesting that Jericho talked hardly at all about Mickey Rourke but loads about Ric Flair. And is all this just a big ploy to plug the “Legend of Wrestlemania” video game?
· Really, really good tag match with Rey and Kofi against Kane and Knox. Brilliantly paced, and with the old school set up of the two menacing big men as heels, against the high-flying, brightly coloured babyfaces.
· I really liked the backstage attack too. Well executed, including the sneaky backstage camera shot which caught The Legacy plotting, then a stiff-looking attack on Shane which took out Steph too. I really like the get out clause they’ve given themselves about why Orton stops and looks at what he has done. Making him seem more unhinged makes him a more credible threat.
· Oh, and by they way, when agents broke it up why was Mike Rotunda dressed like a supply teacher? Bring back the business threads, Irwin! We want red suspenders!
· “The Harts had a match for the ages, but it was Shawn Michaels who stole the show” Ouch. Take that Bret
· Standard Beth fare. It makes sense to make her look nice and dominant in her quest for the belt back. However, I question having her look so good and to feature Mickie and Layla at some point, but to not see Melina at all, even for a 30 second backstage promo.
· More good Michaels and JBL stuff to a point. Michaels doing the “teeth down the throat” line was daft because Cena had already done it. But to me the match and the stip is a daft one.
· If JBL and HBK square off, who the hell else goes into the Chamber?
· Oh, there we go, that was quick. It’s Kane. Sound logic I guess, since it shows Steph trading off to get Taker to Raw, and sets up a stacked Raw next week. More on that in a moment.
· I’m not crazy about Kane being allowed in after Kofi beat him, because it makes Kingston’s achievement mean a bit less. However, he was the only man left who could fit it.
· That being said, it’s a poor line-up for the match. Jericho is the only credible challenger really. Although maybe the thought is that Cena will win and everybody knows it, setting up Orton v Cena at Mania. Make Orton v Shane and JBL v Shawn, in addition to the Smackdown Chamber which looks more interesting, and it’s the basis of a decent card.
· Decent main event. Decent to good. It was standard fare until near the end, but a really terrific sequence to end it. You often get that with Jericho, he is the master of the exciting finish.
· Decent Raw, and it’s built for next week. Undertaker v Orton and Flair to appear should bring people in.

Wrestlemania Live Reaction

Greetings one and all, it’s currently 11.42 here in the UK as I have just watched the freeview on WWE.com of the battle royal, and my first prediction has come in. Kane will be the man to take on Chavo. Not a bad battle royal, though a little short. A nice set of spots with Kendrick being through out and Kofi Kingston following, and when they were still recovering at ringside, Jamie Noble went over the top, and used the prone wrestlers on the outside as a flight of stairs. Palumbo then booted him out.

No rain at the moment, but very open stadium, and dark clouds looming. The stage and ring is a little off putting, but this is mania, so at least it looks unique.

00.01am
It’s raining. Interesting.

00.07am
The Belfast brawl is first up. I thought they said that the ECW title match would open the show?

00.17am
A few minutes in, and pretty intense, Hornswoggle is with Finlay and has hit JBL and been taken out himself so far. As I type Finlay dives to the outside and it met with a trash can lid. Reminiscent of he-who-should-not-be-named being hit by Jericho some years ago, I think at a Royal Rumble.

00.20am
Pretty stiff-looking match by these two, but a surprising ending as JBL goes over. The bad thing about that, of course, is that that means that the feud is not likely over. The only thing than my disappointment about that appear to be JBL’s expanding breasts. By Wrestlemania 25 in Houston he’ll be wrestling in a training bra.

00.22am
Guest Hostess Kim Kardashian, who apparently doesn’t realise that a microphone should be held to the mouth, is interrupted while giving the rundown to the MITB match by Kennedy, who gives her the hairdryer treatment. Short and sharp, he says he will win. MITB is next.

00.28am
The competitors emerge from a Piccadilly Circus-looking stage for Money in the Bank. Morrison, Carlito, Shelton first, they won’t win. Rest of order Punk, Kennedy, MVP, Jericho. I’m not going to update during this match, I’m giving it my full attention.

00.44am
Incredible.

Forget Mayweather. Forget the title. Forget even Flair.

The Money in the Bank Ladder match was absolutely fantastic. I really cannot go through all the spots as I’ll miss the rest of the show. No weak link in the match, false finishes galore, a run-in from Matt Hardy, and some of the most staggering spots I have ever seen.

And most of all, a win for CM Punk. I became a fan for 20 minutes and not a journalist. It was phenomenal. I am so happy to get my prediction of MVP wrong. I hope they do not waste Punk now. He needs a proper push. He doesn’t have to win the belt, but they need to push him like they did for Jeff Hardy.

It should also be noted that Morrison, Carlito and Benjamin, the three guys that were never really going to win, worked their tails off and would be hard done by if they didn’t get pushed a little in the near future.

A stunning match. Will be hard to top.


00.53am
The Hall of Fame inductees have been announced to the crowd, and whatever anyone says to you about Vince McMahon and WWE, I direct you to the huge pop for Mae Young, an octogenarian woman. Fantastic.

00.55am
Fun little backstage segment with Snoopy the Dogg, Santino, Festus and Mick Foley (err, Mizzle Fizzle, apparently) and blinged up Mr Socko.

However, they are eclipsed by the comic genius of William Regal, who while in the ring before the “Battle for Brand Supremacy” raises a nonchalant finger and kills me. I love Regal.

00.57am
Batista v Umaga now then, and it occurs to me that this match could well have been made bigger by a stipulation that the winner earned a chance to move a superstar across brands, either out of his or into his. Perhaps the reason they haven’t done that is that is proof that a draft is upcoming?

01.08am
Damn, got one right that I didn’t want to. I don’t see any point in putting Batista over Umaga. Umaga’s character is quite one dimensional, so every time he gets beat it hurts his character. Batista would have been hurt less by a loss, and if Umaga really is off to face Taker then why should we believe the Deadman would have any problem at all.

Match was ok for what it was. I did get distracted by the hot blonde in the front row a couple of times. The first few rows on the opposite side of the camera were pro-Umaga, and as the match wore on the crowd seemed to be behind the big Samoan.

Not a highlight, but then try following that MITB.

01.12am
Tale of the tape is shown for Mayweather v Show, demonstrating the difference in size. Show’s shoe size is 18EEEEEEEE apparently.

I don’t know if 18EEEEEEE is a legitimate size or whether the person typing was interrupted by a pig.

01.17am
The ECW match ends. No seriously, the intros took longer than the match. Kane sneaks up Chavo, one chokeslam later Kane is the champ. They really care about ECW don’t they? I can only think that Chavo is injured and they couldn’t work a full match with him. Sad for ECW though.

01.20am
It’s Flair v Michaels now. A big Flair video is airing to hype the Nature Boy. This might be history, folks.

01.23am
Flair cuts a promo with a cut out interviewer. Oh no, wait, it’s Mike Adamle. Who is a worse interviewer than Kim Kardashian.

Flair simply says that his game plan is to be beat the man. That’s a pretty poor reflection of Ric if it’s his last promo ever.

Nice touch that this match is being refereed by Charles Robinson, or L’il Naitch.

01.52am
“I’m sorry. Colourful” Strange words for Shawn Michaels to utter.

Of course not, he said “I love you” and then the crowd said much the same. Even yours truly was choked up, and while I hold Ric Flair in very high regard, it is not as high as many do.

It has been, of course, a storied career, and it ended after three superkicks in a very well-told an executed match.

It would not have rivalled Ric’s legendary battles with Ricky Steamboat, nor Michaels’s epic encounters with Kurt Angle, but it was a very good match, told a gripping story and finished with Ric Flair being counted out for 1-2-3.

The man himself should be – hopefully will be – proud that he did not let himself or WWE down in the match which ended his career.

It was put under threat early on when Michaels missed an Asai Moonsault (he hit the spot right, but the table didn’t quite break correctly) and looked legitimately hurt. He soldiered on, and even missed a moonsault to the outside form the top turnbuckle (I think he was supposed to hit that one).

The match was booked nicely, not overbooked, and Flair did the right thing afterwards. He thanked the crowd, and left slowly and with a lot if dignity.

I genuinely thought that Flair would win tonight, and several times throughout the match it looked like he might. I was buying false finishes and popping for kick outs all over the place. There have been five matches so far, and I’ve marked for two. The rest will be interesting.

Thank you Ric. I surely didn’t see the best of your career, but it was a pleasure to have seen you, and you ought to be very proud of the last of several thousand matches.

I don’t care what the adage says. Tonight, even in defeat, Ric Flair is still the man.


02.05am
Bunnymania is, apparently, running wild. Bit tasteless to run this divas Playboy contest straight after Ric’s emotional farewell, but never mind.

At least Santino is here. One last chance for the Rock.............?

02.14am
Beth and Melina get the win after a visual fall for Maria. Midway through the match the lights went out, which was no bad thing, as this was not exactly a classic. Typical fayre from a couple of talented girls against a couple not so blessed.

Santino blocked the Maria pin attempt and got laid out by Jerry Lawler and then Snoop Dogg, who hit a pretty nice clothesline.

02.19am
It’s the WWE title match next – Mayweather for main event? Surely not.

02.25am
It’s bell time for what I though would close the show. Perhaps this means Randy retaining? Perhaps Mayweather v Show is destined for a big surprise. Who knows? And why the hell did John Cena have our British national anthem before his entrance? Who knows? Who knows anything anymore? And who wants to? This is Mania, baby!

02.44am
Reasonable contest with a very surprising finish. I had no thought in my mind that Orton would take it, but he did. The finish was very good, revisiting the Orton ‘soccer kick’ to earn him the contest, but putting him over as a sneaky champion, but a clever one, while at the same time having Triple H look quite strong.

02.50am
It’s Mayweather v Show now, and that means Taker v Edge is last. Interestingly a promo for Backlash is shown, and basically contains Undertaker talking about a Backlash. He can’t get beat can he? Punk to run-in? I really don’t know anymore.

02.54am
Floyd Mayweather has no challengers in Liechtenstein. Thanks King.

03.08am
Well, Money talks, it seems.

Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather had his hand raised at the end of the match, but the losers really were Pay Per View wrestling (WRESTLING) fans who had this as the semi-main, and not the emotional send for Ric Flair or even a match for the most prestigious title in the company. Instead it was a very slow match which culminated in Floyd’s “handlers” getting involved, Mayweather himself weighing in with some chairshots, and finally a right hand with Brass Knuckles which missed by a country mile.

To be fair to Mayweather, he took a couple of bumps, including a sidewalk slam, which obviously looked after him on.

I don’t know if the $20m reported payoff for Mayweather . Frankly, I couldn’t care less.

For my money, he was not worth a cent. There was no big moment, no anxious finish, no shock value. Just poor action, and to be fair I don’t blame either wrestler........sorry, either competitor.

A great start to show is tailing off fast. Of 8 matches thus far (if you can call the ECW title bout a match) two have been outstanding, two ok and four have come up short.


03.20am
Michael Cole lists a load of people that Undertaker has beaten at Wrestlemania. Curiously enough, A-Train was not mentioned. Strange that.


03.56am
And we’re out. Wrestlemania is over for another year and I can’t help feel a bit underwhelmed.

To be fair, you are never going to have every match be a classic, and I’m probably judging a couple slightly harshly. However, to me the order of play was all wrong. The nature of the matches and the talent involved meant that you could have scheduled a slow burn. Instead, of the nine matches on the main PPV, 2 and 5 were the best. By quite a distance.

When you have the unmitigated spotfest of that quality, then hit everyone with one of the most emotional matches I have ever seen, you are setting your standards extremely high. I felt the show opened strongly having Money in the Bank up there, and peaked with Flair. I just couldn’t get excited about Taker’s title victory because I don’t buy into the streak and if you crave a big moment with Taker winning the title then just watch last year’s show.

Get the bunny shit, the Batista/Umaga match and the Belfast Brawl out of the way, then do MITB. Fill in with ECW then do Mayweather and Show. I don’t mind having Triple Threat three from the end, into Flair’s retirement and send off, then the only way to top that is to have a Title match.

To me that would have been the right arc for emotion. As it was, it didn’t work for me.

My like for Edge and lack of interest in Undertaker doesn’t help matters. This main event was of pretty good quality, although it had all the hallmarks of a Taker match which I don’t like. Edge tried to Tombstone Taker – it got reversed. He did the mounted 10 punch – he got dropped for the Last Ride. He stood over Taker and bragged – he got a choke for it.

It’s always the same. I’m even fed up of the plancha over the rope. Sure it’s impressive, but he does it EVERY time at Wrestlemania. It isn’t a shock anymore.

To be fair the finishing sequence was good and it was difficult to do a lot more with the match as a whole. I have to say there is nothing like Michael Cole to make you appreciate Jim Ross, and Coachman is nothing short of an embarrassment as a colour guy. Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, JBL, Paul Heyman. All miles better than this joker. I feel sorry for him because he can’t help being poor at it (I liked his ‘assistant’ heel character) but that has to change, and soon.

I’m going to go 7 out of 10 for the show as a whole, which is perhaps a bit generous. It is only that high because of the superb quality of MITB and Flair’s retirement.

I judge a great match by how much it makes me feels like a fan rather than the jaded cynic I become a lot of the time. I was that cynic for much of the show, but cheering like a 10-year-old for Punk winning and ooh-ing and aah-ing like the biggest mark for every heavy shot or near fall that HBK and Ric Flair produced.

Hopefully I will remember those matches fondly and the rest will fade. After all, Wrestlemania 18 was very poor but I will treasure the memory of watching Rock v Hogan forever.

I’m tired and confused right now, so maybe that is affecting my opinion, but I don’t think that was as good as either Pay Per View we have seen this year.

You may disagree - let me know.

Wrestlemani preview and predictions

It’s the big one.

Wrestlemania is the one day out of 365 (366 this year) that the rest of the year builds to. It ought be to be good.

This time last year I was not particularly fussed about Mania. I didn’t think nay of the matches would deliver – most notably Batista/Taker and the Trump/McMahon showdown – but I was wrong, and the show was terrific.

This year I can’t help but feel it will suck. I hope I am wrong again.

To me the main event should always be the Raw title match. That’s the real WWE title, and it’s representing the flagship show. If people are to care about the belt it needs to be the main event, and for me the build has not been anywhere near as good as last year.

John Cena and Shawn Michaels build a stunning programme to hype their match, and in part the build is a big s the mania match itself. Cena, Triple H and Randy Orton have all held their end up without being spectacular.

The three-way match is a tricky concept because the matches can often be quite formulaic. One man knocked to the outside while the other two brawl is a common concept, and with not huge emotional interest in this match it is going to be a tough sell.

A few years back, he-who-should-not-be-named took part in a triple threat with Triple H and Shawn Michaels, and his winning of the belt was the highlight of the show. This time with Randy Orton as the heel (and a very good one, by the way, in my opinion) and the oft-pushed John Cena and Triple H as contenders there is not the big-time push of a new guy about the hit the top.

One cannot help but think that had certain circumstances prevailed that bit could be Jeff Hardy. That, of course, was not to be.

Elsewhere on the card, Edge v Taker fails to capture my imagination since the consensus is that Taker won’t lose his streak, Floyd and Big Show has gained, lost, gained and lost steam so many times I don’t know what to make of it.

And then there is Ric Flair v Shawn Michaels which I dealt with in an earlier post this week.

Best way to do it is to take the matches one by one. Here we go...........

Bunnymania – Maria & Ashley v Melina and Beth Phoenix
I thought best to start with what I consider the least important match and work upwards, and there surely isn’t a less important match than this.

The now-annual showcase for the sheer purpose of reminding us all that a diva has her bits out in Playboy (albeit one of the nicer looking and more wholesome divas on the roster) this year has been depreoved of a sub-standard wrestler due to Candice’s injury, but replaced by an even worse example of what I hesitate to even call wrestling.

When Candice got injured I thought for one short, fleeting, pie-in-the-sky moment that perhaps Trish Stratus may return for a shock, one-off return, but that was obviously wishful thinking.

Ashley and Maria (I have interviewed Maria, and she is a lovely lady, very sweet and gorgeous to bott, but she can’t wrestle) will stink the place up, and there is a glaring problem in women’s wrestling today. The two best-promoted females (not necessarily the best two grapplers, but the ones promoted in the best manner) are in different companies; Awesome Kong and Beth Phoenix. That’s the dream match.

I’m not saying that others – namely Gail Kim, Mickie James, Victoria and perhaps others – can’t go, but Beth and Kong are the standouts right now.

Anyway this match will suck, and with Lumberjacks (weren’t they LumberJILLS last year?) surrounding the ring it is obviously a cheap way of getting all the totty on the roster on PPV.

If Beth and Melina do not go over it will be wrong, but ultimately no-one will care.

Predicton: Beth and Melina

I would book: Beth and Melina to win after giving Maria and Ashley a couple of realistic near-falls, but in a very short match. May as well have a bunch of other divas get involved and shed some clothing for the hell of it.

A note at this point about the gentleman who is also heavily involved in this programme. Signor Santino Marella.

Santino has been a revelation since someone thrust a microphone in his hand when they realised that as a babyface underdog no-one cared about him. Want to know just how revered Santino is in certain quarters? At the Hall of Fame ceremony, The Rock singled out a few people for ridicule and mockery. Admittedly one was Coachman, but he was quickly dismissed. The ones that Rock held for special attention were John Cena, Triple H, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho.........and Santino Marella. And Marella was the last mentioned. Praise indeed.

It is probably too much to hold out some hope that Santino will at some point, tonight at Wrestlemania, be interrupted by the Great One, but what an awesome Wrestlemania moment it would be.

More likely is that Santino will interject in this match somehow, but it would be a crime if Marella did not get a chance to strut his stuff at least briefly. Possibly in a vocal duel with Snoop Dogg.

ECW Title – Chavo Guererro v winner of Jobber Number One Contender Battle Royal

Frankly, no-one cares about the ECW title, and although I think he’s a terrific wrestler and has been underrated for years, Chavo has never been of the high-enough profile to be thought of as IC title standard let alone a “World Title”. Now he has ascended to this point, it really is a bit of a false dawn for a very talented individual.

This is an excuse to have a bunch of people appear at Wrestlemania, really, although they don’t get to be on TV, since the battle royal is only being shown on WWE.com I really can’t be bothered going through all the competitors, but most are midcarders or lower, with only a few such as Great Khali, Mark Henry and Big Daddy V having a bit of profile. Heck, even WWE.com lists Jamie Noble and Chuck Palumbo as noted entries. Not exactly loaded with star names.

Probably the biggest name in the thing is Kane, and I’ve got to go with him to win it. I would think that Chavo would need to battle a babyface, otherwise even less people would care. Imagine the crowd faced with Mark Henry v Chavo.

I’d Kane will win this battle royal, and then probably the ensuing match afterwards. This will likely open the Pay Per View, and kick it off with a babyface pop for winning a title.

And probably not the last.

Prediction: Kane to win both matches.

I would book: Probably the same, to be honest. Although I wouldn’t have booked a lame battle royal in the first place.


Finlay v JBL – Belfast Brawl

I don’t know that this encounter is anything other than a No DQ match, but I know it will be a violent and stiff one.

Both of these men will let it all flow at the big one, and you should not expect a pretty technical encounter. Expect a crowd brawl, plenty of colour, and probably a Vince McMahon run-in, followed by a Hornswoggle assist for the Finlay win.

If you read my commentary of this long-running debacle of an angle on The Sun’s site then you’ll know that I am not a fan of it. This match in isolation may well be ok because of the two men involved, but hopefully it serves its purpose and finally ends the pain.

Prediction: A violent, bloody, possibly overbooked contest, with Finlay getting the revenge for his ‘son’.

I would book: A hard-hitting short affair, which most importantly puts an end to this bloody angle once and for all.

Batista v Umaga

Smackdown and Raw. Two brands, but which one is better? There’s only one way to find out.......FIGHT!

Isn’t it interesting how ECW doesn’t feature in the battle for brand supremacy?

This one does not inspire me one bit. The huge irony is that Umaga is someone I’m quite a fan of, and Batista had arguably the best match at Wrestlemania 23 last year.

But I just don’t see these two clicking. Both need the other guy to help them along a bit, and I’m not sure these two are destined to make Mania history.

I personally would take Umaga to win, purely because he seems destined to head to Smackdown to face the Undertaker. However, something is telling me that Batista will win it.

Prediction: Batista

I would book: Umaga to win a reasonably quick, although reasonably even, contest. Then have Vickie be so impressed she takes him to Smackdown. The battle with the newly crowded Undertaker commences with Umaga having been built up. Oh wait, I’ve given away my prediction for later on. Damn, no-one would guessed I’d go for Taker. I’ll probably be the only one. (Note sarcasm)


Money in the Bank Ladder match: Chris Jericho, MVP, Carlito, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, John Morrison, Ken Kennedy.

The annual resting place for those who couldn’t be strong-armed into a feud but will bump their ass off for your viewing pleasure.

This is a very strong looking line up, with a bunch of guys who really can work, so this may well be the best MITB thus far.

Interesting to note that most of this line-up is either currently in, or were in the, WWE doghouse in the recent past. Except for one name. Onto him in a minute.

Time to break out the patented McNichol Eliminator...........

Chris Jericho. I’d expect him to be the star turn of the match to be honest, as he revels in this kind of situation, and has said we should expect him to break out at least one brand new move. However, this match is used to give the title opportunity to someone ready to step up. Like Jeff Hardy. It won’t be Chris, as they could have done that before.

Shelton. Has been the main man in two previous MITBs, but that may have been more of a curse than a blessing, because apart from a terrific raw match with Shawn Michaels he hasn’t achieved much at all. Unless he wins and cashes it in for the ECW title, which is decided unlikely, he isn’t going to win here. Perhaps blighted by a reputation as a spot monkey. Like Jeff Hardy.

Carlito. Can work, and was saved from purgatory by bumping like a mad thing in a ladder match earlier this year. He has frequently spoken of his displeasure of his spot and what if he has to do in WWE, so they are unlikely to push him to the moon anytime soon. He needs to prove to the WWE higher-ups that he is grown up and needs a push. Like Jeff Hardy.

John Morrison. Has had a series of pretty good matches for some time, without ever looking like a massive star in the making. His promo style is to obviously scripted and catchphrase –laden for me, and while he could probably use a move to Raw to further his career, he is not ready for a title shot. His ECW title stint is not really proof he is ready. He is still looked at as one half of a successful tag team, and needs to break out that. Like Jeff Hardy.

CM Punk. A bizarre thing is the treatment of CM Punk. Talked about in reverential terms by announcers and seemingly destined for the top, his push doesn’t actually seem to get him anywhere, bizarrely. Just can’t see him being given the big push that he will one day. He is thought of in great terms by the people, and they are dying for him to get a big win. Like Jeff Hardy.

Ken Kennedy. Last year’s winner, who was due for the big time before injury, then due for participation in Mr McMahon storyline before making a fool of himself by professing his strongly anti-steroids stance. Then being busted for taking steroids. He is the next most likely winner after his performance last year, but I really can’t see him following through with the claim that he will win MITB then cash it in later in the night. If they were to do that he wouldn’t have already said it. His unreliability has cost him his chance of a title. Like Jeff Hardy.

So that leaves one. The MITB winner has tended to be someone who is in a perfect position to be elevated to the top. First it was Edge, who duly weighed in with a great, although short, title reign. Then RVD, who was way overdue a break, although it admittedly did not last long. Then Kennedy, who will likely get back there one day, but not yet.

Now, it is MVP.

I was not an MVP fan this time last year, but my colleague Simon told me that his match with Chris Benoit (shhhhh) was a cracker last year, and he has been a very solid hand since then.

His in-ring work is good, his promos are of a decent quality and are improving, and I really feel that the WWE hold him in high regard. His feud with Matt Hardy, although stop-start, has been excellent, and probably the best thing on Smackdown for a long while.

The knock on him winning the belt has been that his feud with Hardy is unresolved, but there is nothing to say that the Money in the Bank briefcase has to be cashed in immediately, so I think Hardy could come back and be vanquished by MVP, continuing his push.

Prediction: MVP, with Kennedy the next best option.

I would book: Probably Ken Kennedy. I’d love to say CM Punk, but I just don’t see him being a World Champion. Not yet anyway. I know the MITB winner doesn’t have to win the belt, and I’m not saying MVP will, but they have to be plausible. I believe only MVP, Jericho and Kennedy are viable in this match. Jericho does not need the push, but I think Kennedy does.

I really like his vocal style, his intensity, and while his in-ring work is not Rick Steamboat, neither was The Rock’s. Despite his obvious shortcoming and black marks for previous slip-ups, I’d think he’d be the man most deserving, for his style, to have a title shot or attempt. I wouldn’t have booked him to say he’d cash it in on the night though.

Oh, and by the way, the winner should have been Jeff Hardy. What a tool. That’s what you get for blanking me the twice we’ve met, Jeff!


Floyd Mayweather v Big Show. No DQ match, we’re told.

WWE.com has reported that this open will carry the stips that a victory can be attained by pinfall, submission or knockout, with obviously a slight concession to the boxer there.

This is likely to be the ca crash portion of the show, in that it could be so bad that you can’t not watch, much like Lesnar v Goldberg. However, you never know with Wrestlemania, so here’s hoping that they pull something of the air to make this a great spectacle. After all, Bobby Lashley v Umaga was hardly a catch-as-catch-can clinic, but the spectacle was a belter.

However, this one doesn’t have Vince McMahon, Donald Trump and Stone Cold involved. It has a boxer who is not a wrestler, and a wrestler who is a decent enough hand, but far from mobile. I can’t see Mayweather wanting to look weak, but I fail to see why Show would lie down for the much smaller guy.

I would not be surprised at all to see a deliberate attempt to make something happen to look like it is a shoot, but it’s all part of the fun. Mayweather is the wildcard, not knowing whether he will be a perfect competitor or will botch his big moment. He is there for the publicity, so the most likely scenario is him getting one big moment in, and generally letting him do very little else so as not to ruin the segment.

Prediction: Mayweather to win, possibly with quite a bit of assistance from his posse.

I would book: This obviously depends on the contract they have with the Pretty Boy, because he may have agreed to come in as long as he is made to look good. If that was not an issue I would see no reason to harm the Big Show long term for the sake of a boxer. However, when do you ever see a celebrity lose out in a match like this?

Ric Flair v Shawn Michaels.

Obviously this is a big match and a major talking point, and for this reason I covered it in a previous post. Please see that for a more detailed analysis.

Prediction: Flair to win. There is a swerve in this.

I would book: Again, I’m not going through my entire thought process, but I’d have Flair win and go on to wrestle the champ at the next PPV, losing out then. They may as well boost the next buy rate of another big show.

Oh, I might decide to have him have his last match in England at the tapings in a fortnight. Then I’d bget to see his last match.


Undertaker v Edge

Hmm. Seems a no-brainer doesn’t it? I’d prefer this to be the big swerve of the show rather than the Flair one to be honest, but I simply cannot see Taker losing this.

It seems he was promised the big title run after last year but injury put paid to that. I think he’ll get it this year, and as noted above a feud with Umaga seems a good fit. I can see Undertaker and Kane getting belts at the same show.

I’d love Edge to put over here. To me there is no point having a big streak in your locker unless someone breaks it, and after all for Taker to retire having not lost at Wrestlemania seems pointless in what is, last time I checked, a pre-determined sport. However, I can’t see it happening.

For the record, I’d suggest another heavily booked match will play out here, with the Edgeheads and possibly Vickie getting involved, and Taker vanquishing them all.

Prediction: Undertaker to overcome come the alleged odds and win another title.

I would book: Edge to win. And I’d book him to win cleanly. I’d then book Taker to show respect for his conqueror (conquistador?) and then for Edge and his cronies to beat him down, regaining their heat. Next, Taker fights them off to again look tough. Ain’t gonna happen though is it?


Triple H v John Cena v Randy Orton

This is the match I have been agonising over making a decision about for ages. If it were either Cena or Trips against Orton then it would be a decision as easy as the one above. However, it’s the two men you can’t see losing up against one another.

The likely post-Mania scenario is easier. I think we’ll see Triple H turn heel and feud with Cena through much of the summer. However, you can explain it two ways.

One option is that John Cena wins the belt, and a jealous Triple H loses his rag and takes him out on Raw, possibly sledgehammer assisted.

The other is that Triple H emerges victorious and Cena extends the hand of friendship and admiration. Trips dismisses it and belts Cena. This could happen at Mania, but more probably on Raw.

Both have holes in them. I’d suggest that the babyface Cena chasing the heel Triple H is more of a draw than vice versa, but then Triple H laying out the babyface Cena makes more sense as a heel turn. Why would Trips lay out Cena having already beaten him?

I’m going with Cena to win as a catalyst for the probable heel turn. To be fair, either situation is likely.

Prediction: Cena as outlined above

I would book: Not far off really. I like Orton but he can’t retain over these two at Wrestlemania. The Cena proposition is ok, but I’d have Triple H win and NOT turn heel, but follow up the previously stated Flair scenario and take him on at Backlash. Cena and or Orton can have a filler number one contender match and Cena can win, then follow up the Trips heel turn and Cena/Game summer programme.

There we go, that’s my (admittedly late) thought. Enjoy Mania.



Mayweathe show – HNB basuically – pin, submit KO. Intereference?