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Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Special Slammy Award-winning Raw Thoughts

· Every week on Raw the theme music (pretty great theme music, I might add) hits and we see the crowd. And then every week I am disappointed to hear Cole’s voice. I always seem to forget he is the raw guy now and not JR.
· Wait, there is JR. He and Tazz are here too. But not Striker and Grisham. Hmm, is that them out of the running for the commentary team of the year?
· Tag team Slammy first. Anyone but Miz and Morrison would be a huge travesty.
· And they win it. Quite right too. I groaned when I saw these two against Jeff and Hunter on SD, and was so glad they found a way of making sure they didn’t lose again. Terrific acceptance speech too.
· When watching Punk v Morrison, why did Regal and Layla watch the TV at an angle?
· Speaking of the match though, it was an absolute treat. Morrison is very, very creative, or at least very receptive to a creative agent, whoever that may be.
· I hope we’re going to get some legends and surprise names present some prizes.
· But not Mae Young
· That ‘yo’ stuff with Cryme Tyme and Candice was painful.
· “How many of you would like to see my finishing manoeuvre?” No-one Candice, because you would likely break into a thousand pieces (or at least re-injure her clavicle)
· Hahaha. A new one for Cole. He describes Knox’s assault on Evan Bourne a few weeks ago as “horrid”. Michael appears now to be a spoiled, posh female, teenager. “He was horrid, simply horrid. Daddy, can I have a Pony?”
· A match you can only dream about, says King “World Heavyweight Champion John Cena v WWE Champion Edge” – do the folks behind the scenes in WWE not realise how ridiculous that sounds? How can one be the champion of the world and the other the best in the company? Doesn’t make sense. They really have to end this brand extension and let people believe in one guy as champ. Hell, people barely stick to brands any more, it’s a moot point virtually.
· Poor MVP. No-one ever got over with a losing streak. Not a heel anyway. You can have a brave babyface nearly win a few times and have it help him (Think Tommy Dreamer and Raven, perhaps)
· Quality – they referred to Jericho ramming Michaels’ head through the monitor as “Crash TV” Hey, Vinny Ru! We remember ya, buddy.
· Jeff Hardy wins the Extreme Moment award for his leap onto Orton in the build up to the Rumble. Fair dos. It was pretty shocking at the time.
· Well, what do I know? Turns out Grisham and Striker have won the best Announcers gong, only it was proclaimed on
· King(dripping with sarcasm) “They must be good, they aren’t here” - I hope that was a working comment, but it did strike that there might be a bit of feeling in there. If that is what King feels, then he should wake up and realise that what Todd and Matt are doing on ECW, and when they get chances on PPVs, is actually be likable, talk civilly to each other, be informative and not rely on clichés. It is something that Cole is incapable of, and that Lawler used to do. King was a terrific heel colour guy, but now adds nothing to the show. The best colour guy of recent times was JBL, though Mick Foley was pretty good too. They actually entertained and informed at the same time. King now does neither. And that’s not me sniping and saying he isn’t talented. It would be an easy response to say “you don’t know how difficult it is, you’ve never done it” but I’m not saying King isn’t good – I’m saying he isn’t good any more.
· Kane and Kelly Kelly. Interesting duo. He should have sniffed her though. I liked when Kane did that. “The last time I was in a relationship, I tombstoned the priest.” Quality line. They could have reference Lita going from Kane to Edge when Vickie came out, but never mind.
· Edge and Vickie have been great – but I’m gutted for Santino and Beth. Wait – as I type, here he comes anyway.
· I have never been all that keen on the Hornswoggle character, but his mocking of both Santino and Beth was terrific.
· Melina “All WWE divas possess beauty, talent, ambition and athleticism. The one thing they all share above all else......” Long “they are hot”Surely Teddy should have simply called Melina wrong on the first count and then instead of saying ‘hot’ could have just said ‘tits’
· Look, the Melina entrance was funny last week, but please lets not just have Santino hurt his balls every week.
· Well done for having the common sense to have Joey Styles (in Philly) to present “Oh My God” moment.
· I love Punk, and it’s obvious they’ll give an award to a roster member, but Mayweather smashing was the stand-out single moment because no-one expected that.
· Nice little list of thank yous from Punk. I picked out Scotty Goldman, which is what Scott Colton a.k.a Colt Cabana is known as on Smackdown and Chris Guy, which I think is the real name of Ace Steel. The story being that Cabana used Chris Guy as a ring name when wrestling as enhancement talent, because Ace Steel used Scott Colton in similar fashion.
· Poor Kennedy. They’ve morphed him into an idiot. He should be a cocky, arrogant heel, not a corporate shill who says stuff like “doesn’t she look great everybody?” about generic diva #24. Doesn’t suit him.
· Flair and Michaels is an appropriate choice. However, it is clear by now that these awards mean absolutely nothing, because they are all furthering current storylines. Hence it being better to give something to Punk rather than Mayweather or Big Show, at least in WWE’s mind. I don’t blame them, by the way, it’s just good business sense.
· I know people ride Orton for using chinlocks all the time, but in his (partial) defence, he is very, very good at them. It isn’t a ‘rest’ hold at all. He never stops moving.
· I miss mental Mickie. She’s cute and everything, but I miss the maniac that stalked Trish.
· Jillian is tremendous. I laughed for real at the Damn segment. Not in a fake way like Cole. That was stupid, daft and nonsense. I genuinely loved it.
· Jericho’s promo before Cena v Edge was terrific. That, in a nutshell, is why Chris Jericho is the superstar of the year.
· A serviceable finale to the show. Not a terrific main event because we know how good Cena and Edge can be together, but the animosity between Jericho and Cena felt realistic and was a suitable way to go out. Jericho constantly looking around during the show was really good continuity.
· Good show overall. A couple of decent comedy bits, with a top-notch Morrison v Punk match and a couple of other decent ones. Although why Jericho and Hardy don’t click (they never, ever, have a good match) is staggering.

Don’t forget, Armageddon on Sunday night/Morning morning, depending where in the world you are, and just like Survivor Series I will be updating the blog LIVE. So, make sure you load up as the show begins, and feel free to give me your input on the show as it goes on.

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