TNA No Surrender "As Live" notes

Just settling down to watch No Surrender. I'll comment as I go along, so you get an as-live, stream of consciousness style commentary from me........

Long opening video. Set the tone for the evening well. Clearly Angle is positioned as the star. It does put into question the booking of Hardy, mind you.

Gen Me replacing London Brawling is a big disappointment for this writer. Nothing against the Bucks, but I wanted to see Nick and Nigel (Dah, I mean Desmond and Magnus) get a chance to shine. I don't know that the problem was. Hopefully nothing too serious.

The match was ok. Some fun high-flying stuff, but for the most part it was stuff we've seen before, and recently too. A couple of times the commentators said that the crowd were so into it, but I thought they seemed particularly quiet for an opener. There was absolutely no heat on the match, so it felt a little empty.

I question the heel turn on Gen Me. It was almost like they wanted to do something different in the opener because of the pullout of London Brawling, and they felt they had to make up for it. Generation Me had a long segment on Impact or Reaction (I forget which) where they talked passionately about their beliefs and style. It was a good segment which gave some them such much needed background. Now they are suddenly heels. It also doesn't help high flying wrestlers to be heels (see AJ Styles) Strange decision.

Doug v Sabu was ok. I'm not crazy about chairs being used like that (if you didn't see it, Sabu basically did a load of his usual springboards from them, but theoretically that wouldn't be allowed) I guess that is the only way of getting Sabu through a passable match, though.

Velvet v Madison - fine, I guess, but nothing special. Just felt like a TV match, in reality. That story is now dead, because Velvet has won cleanly. It has to be time to reintroduce the likes of Daffney and Hamada to offer some variety. I like the BP gimmick, but it isn't new anymore, and they are endangering it's longevity by confusing the issues.

Rhyno v Abyss wasn't my thing, but for what it was it was ok. 10-10-10 is the new May 19th. Abyss had to win, but I wish they hadn't have had Stevie beat him on Impact. Abyss needs to destroy Richards on a TV show soon. Did the announcers say anything about no-one interfering in Rhyno v Abyss? Wouldn't EV2 have had a big run in?

The tag match between Sting/Nash and Jarrett/Joe was terrible. Slow, boring, achieved nothing. I guess the only consolation is that Joe won looking strong, and wasn't booked like an idiot. But it was still very dull. Tenay being made to say that Sting and Nash are protecting their spot is ludicrous. Does the audience know what that even means? And if they do, wouldn't they realise that protecting their spot is a real-life, not a kayfabe, issue.

Once again, with Dreamer v Styles, this is a match not aimed at me. That's not my kind of wrestling, I don't see Dreamer being a semi-main event wrestling in 2010, and I want AJ showing his athleticism, not wrestling in hardcore matches masquerading as submission technique.

To be fair, though, this was probably as good a match as it had a right to be. They tried to tell a story, they didn't overbook, and they had the right finish, which was AJ going over.

I've been pleased that we haven't seen too much in the way of screwy finishes. I was expecting EV2 and Fortune everywhere, but there haven't been those kind of run-ins, and it's only really been Doug using a title belt that has been a finish with shenanigans. Oh, and Jarrett using a bat, I suppose, but I'm blocking that match from my mind.

Onto Jeff v Kurt. I type this some eight minutes in. Good so far, although Jeff maybe half a step off. Good work from the commentators making it seem big time and even Tazz acknowledging Jeff missing a move slightly.

I am getting annoyed with Tazz saying "Fustration", though. IT HAS TWO R's in IT!

Right, I'm at the end of Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle. The very end, after a couple of restarts. You know what - fantastic. Absolutely superb. I had in my head that Kurt Angle had to win because of the retirement stipulation, so didn't really buy any of the Jeff Hardy pin attempts, but I really didn't consider a no-contest in this manner.

There will be plenty that didn't care for that, because it might be considered a BS finish, but to me it felt like sport. I like the aspect of realism, and although there were plenty of points that I didn't care for (more in a sec) I thought overall I could put them to back of my mind and really enjoy the match.

In fact a lot of the problems with the match were not actually problems with the match, if you see my point. They were problems with TNA over the past few months. A twenty-minute time limit is pretty ridiculous in a match of this magnitude, and the short matches which have plagued TNA for so long distorts the viewer's attitude towards the match. There should have been matches on Impact which went to a 10- or 15-minute limit, to put over that this kind of thing happens.

The blood is an interesting issue, too. Kurt's bleeding was necessary to this match's conclusion. Yes it looked a bit extreme, yes I'm not usually a fan of wrestlers blading a great deal, but once in a great while it is effective - Stone Cold Steve Austin at Mania 13 springs to mind. The trouble is TNA have had Flair bleed all over the place every week; an EV2 v Fortune battle where everyone bled; and plenty more examples of loads of blood. So when Angle started bleeding, it meant so much less than it should have done.

My final gripe is Bischoff adding five more minutes twice. It's not too big a gripe, and it's even less because he went to the floor manager to 'talk to the truck' (that was a REALLY nice touch, by the way), but if Eric and Dixie were so keen there should be a winner, why not just say either no time limits or unlimited overtime? I get that the logic behind it was that they didn't want the PPV to run long (I'm talking in the story, here) and so if they said it was unlimited it could go forever, but it just seemed a bit contrived there.

I'm being picky. It was a very good WRESTLING match, backed up by some high, high quality storytelling by the wrestlers. Add in the little extra touches, and I think that's very possibly TNA's match of the year. In the top five, without a doubt. Congratulations.

Anderson v Pope concluded the show, and I thought it was a fine match, maybe a good match, but not a great one, and it certainly suffered from some outside factors. Frankly, Angle v Hardy being on before it killed it in some ways. I think I might have used the old technique of a buffer match between main events. If they had have put the Beautiful People match in between the semi-finals to let the crowd have a distraction before getting back up for the finale. I don't blame them for having Angle v Hardy on first, because of the time restraint issue, but it affected Anderson and Dinero.

There was another problem being that Angle and Hardy kicked out of finishers galore, and it meant that when Pope and Anderson starting hitting their big moves, there was no pop because the crowd didn't buy the finishes. I don't think being both babyfaces helped, because the crowd were not solidly behind one wrestler or the other.

Overall, though, I'm pleased Anderson won, because he has, for me, the more potential in terms of stepping up and being the World Champion. I look forward to either Kurt v Ken again, or Anderson v Hardy which would see out a storyline. I don't know how they get to that without beating Kurt though, so I can definitely see a three way dance.

Good PPV this, overall. One bad match (Jarrett/Joe v Nash/Sting), one largely insignificant (Knockouts), a couple that served a purpose but not up my street (all the EV2 v Fortune bouts), a decent tag opener (c'mon, work that out), a reasonable closer and a stonking MOTY candidate for good measure. Better PPV than average for TNA. No comes the interesting part - can they build for BFG............?

Raw Round Up

I've written a Raw report which should at some point go live on The Sun Wrestling, but I wanted to address a couple of things here which I would like to go into more detail about.

To catch you up if you haven't seen the review yet, perhaps because it is not yet live, I thought Raw was good this week, after a couple of poor episodes. Not sensational, but good. I make judgement not simply on the quality of entertainment in a two hour period, but on assessment with how this can affect the issues both short and long term. In respect to further storylines and building stars, I thought this was an effective show.

I'd say Daniel Bryan, Justin Gabriel and John Morrison were all greatly helped by the booking on this show. And the beauty was that the booking did not hurt anyone. Gabriel gave his best promo at the start of the show, they put over his finisher and he gave Cena a decent run for his money. Cena ultimately won, but Gabriel was still assisted. Bryan showed plenty of poise and character with a verbal debate with Miz, who of course gave as good as he got, meaning both men, plus the feud were helped.

Morrison's win over Jericho doesn't hinder Jericho too much as a character, because a) he is wildly over anyway (as he said, he's a main eventer even if he is jerking the curtain) and b) it plays into his storyline of being disillusioned anyway. For Morrison, it might spark a revival in fortunes, as he has been in the cold a little of late. I thought he had a game face on, and showed a touch more charisma than usual. Maybe that was a spring in the step knowing he was booked to win.

I was more than a little surprised to see Darren Young return on Raw. I thought that of all the eight season one NXTers he was the one with the least going for him, in the sense that he didn't seem an outstanding wrestler, wasn't a great talker, nor did he a very marketable look. I certainly didn't gauge that the fans felt bad for him, or got behind him when he spoke towards Barrett. The pop for him getting RKOed was telling, because the fans simply love that move. Certainly they care about seeing that way more than seeing Young.

While it was a better show, I think even WWE must realise they have no major hook for the upcoming PPV. No-one is going to buy this on the strength of Miz v Bryan or a Divas unification bout, so realistically they need a strong title match. They haven't got one. Even Cena on commentary was basically saying it's a bit of a lottery. I think his words were "It's a crap shoot."

I highly question the logic of booking a title match (That's a WORLD Title match) where one of the participants says "eh, anyone could win this." Surely the whole point of paying to watch title matches is to see a fair contest. After Sheamus already won the belt in dubious circumstance, you are watering down the belt even more by having Cena say anyone can win. How can you get behind a champion if the only reason he is the champ is by a fluke? I suspect this was their way of having Cena be self-deprecating so that when he loses it was in a lottery, and not a fair fight. If and when Cena regains the gold, it'll be one on one, I suspect.

I think you can have this kind of multi-man match for a 'lesser' title, especially if you have workers involved. To do this for, say, the IC title, and involve Ziggler, Kofi, Christian, Drew, Swagger and MVP, for example, would be really interesting. Or you can do it when you have an extra hook, like the Money in the Bank matches. But to have a bunch of guys devaluing the WWE title I think is a shame.

The way they spoke about things on Raw, I wouldn't necessarily expect a replacement for Jericho. They didn't talk about "I wonder who his replacement will be", although I wouldn't rule out them changing their mind next week.

I enjoyed Edge's interaction with Zack Ryder. I'm not as high on Ryder as some, but I do think he has promise, and I wonder whether he will suddenly rebel and prove he isn't as useless as some are making out on TV. I love paranoid, plotting Edge. It's such a compelling character.

Credit to Cole for calling the issue in the Great Khali/Edge match. Khali stepping over the top in an over-the-top match was odd, but I wouldn't haven't been surprised for the commentators to just ignore it. I liked Cole making this point.

On the GM front, I've often said that I haven't really seen the piece of paper supposedly on Cole's laptop when he is 'reading' a GM email, but it was very clear this week when Edge was threatening to destroy the laptop that was a big piece of paper with writing on it. If Cole is the GM, they can say this is a clue.

On the Cole for GM front, did you notice that they worked out a way of having Miz accept a Daniel Bryan challenge, rather than the GM forcing the match to take place. If the GM had forced Miz into it, then it would have either ruled Cole out, or made his reveal nonsensical if it does happen.

Very interesting to see the "This week in wrestling history" refer back to the first ever Impact, and with, might I say, a very fair assessment, too. That night, debuting with a strong Nitro, the Luger defection and so much more, really changed this industry forever.

I thought Sheamus did really well on guest commentary. He could easily have been overshadowed by the personalities of Edge and Cena, but he wasn't.

I like the tease of Cena v Orton for next week. Is it possible they are giving away big Orton matches before he goes to Smackdown for the SyFy launch?

Raw Number Five

Lawks a mercy, we're rattling through these now. If this your first step onto this page for a while (or ever), then welcome (back). To catch you up, I decided to have a little look at the first ever Raw a couple of weeks ago, since we were heading into Raw #900. It was so much fun, I kept going, and we're onto the fifth one already. If you want to read reviews of the first four, then scroll down or use the navigation on the right hand side.

For those that are ready, let's crack on with Raw number five, brought to us on February 15th 1993, approximately six weeks before Wrestlemania IX. As I recall, we were promised Brutus Beefcake v Ted DiBiase this week. I can pretty much remember what happened, but I'll feign a lack of recollection, and we'll get into it.

The show begins with a couple of jobbers already in the ring. Who will they be fed to, I wonder? Our commentary team is once again Vince "I'm the boss but I don't really want the world to know yet" McMahon, Randy "Quite Macho in my spangly gear and I don't really want to commentate really Man" Savage, and Rob "How I've still got a commentary job after four excruciating weeks is incredible, the WWF must have signed me to a stupid contract or they think I am giving them street cred" Bartlett.

Vince reminds us that it's Beekcafe's return tonight, and turns to Savage for advice. He actually calls him "Macho" which is very odd. Bartlett is dressed the same as the show previous, and it turns out it's a really bad lapel, not a scarf. That doesn't save him, he still looks like a prat.

The jobbers are for the Steiners, as made evident by the playing of the Michigan fight song. Oh, and the emergence Rick and Scott. Scott hits a couple of heavy looking suplexes, while Savage can't get his mic working. One of the jobbers appears to be called Bobby Hoo, which gives a chance for Vince to do his Abbott and Costello routine that he would later do when Jim Neidhart was put under a hood and forced to be "Who?"

The Steiners win, and just assume that during the last paragraph they hit a clothesline and a stiff suplex in succession for about three minutes.

Gene Mean gives us a rundown of matches booked for Mania. So far it's Bret v Yoko, Taker v Gonzalez and Crush v Doink.

Back in the arena, and for the second week running, and the third of five Raws, Yoko's in town. Ross Greenberg is the feed for today. Savage is still off mic, by the way. Although we can sort of hear him, almost like he is on a phone in space. We can hear agitated comments which sound deliberate, but Vince and Rob are ignoring or can't hear them.

Vince tells us that Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who fought Yoko on another show the previous weekend, was the first man to knock the big guy off his feet. Hey, I thought Savage did it at the Rumble? Does getting out of the way and letting Yoko run into the buckle not count?

Yoko wins nice and simply, and Savage steals a mic from Bartlett. I can only imagine the asides we can hear were put on in post.

A cardboard cut-off brings us a special report.....oh wait, no, it's Lord Alfred. He's here to tell us about Duggan knocking Yokozuna down. Apparently it was on WWF Superstars. Duggan eventually knocking Yoko over after a couple of shoulder charges, but the big Samoan threw salt in his eyes to get DQed, then hit the Banzai Drop a couple of times. Ouch.

Back to the arena, and Vince says that the 16 guys who will be in a battle royal later on all refused to take part if Giant Gonzales was involved. They go to highlights (using that term very loosely here) from Superstars of the Giant winning a handicap match by count out after the 3 opponents legged it. One of them was Louie Spiccoli I think.

Right, I'll try to work out the sixteen guys in the Battle Royal for you - this could be tricky. I can see Michaels, Razor, Backlund, Beserker, Kamala, Koko, Tatanka, Kimchee, Typhoon, Terry Taylor, Tito Santana, Damien Demento, Owen Hart, Skinner and I think Iron Mike Sharpe. That's fifteen, but it's all I can see.

It's very tricky to keep up with eliminations, although I should say this is given a nice amount of time to develop, and isn't rushed at all. It's a lot of fun. I liked seeing Shawn and Owen have a little battle, years before the duo made it bigger. It also amused me to hear the crowd chant 'Huss' along with a departing Beserker.

I should point out that on comms Savage put over Michaels getting upset by Tatanka on Superstars. Man, Superstars is where it's at, not Raw!

Kamala is eliminated by Kimchee, amongst others. When eliminated, he climbs back in and throws out his former handler, and chases him through the crowd and into the hospitality area. After a break, we are told Kamala is still chasing, and we see him continue to chase across the balcony. Back in the ring, Michaels backdrops Typhoon out to leave Tatanka, Michaels, Tito and Razor in the ring. The heels form a little clique (heh heh) of sorts, and the two duos square up.

Surprisingly, it isn't a babyface next out, but Shawn, disposed of by Tito and Tatanka as a pair. So who is going to win.....? Might be a moot point, as Giant Gonzales comes wondering in and starts to attack Tatanka and Tito. Razor sneaks away, and I guess wins by default because Gonzales threw the other two out. Yup, Finkel makes it official. Ramon wins. Hey yo!

After we have a break, the familiar "Money" theme plays, and it's time for Ted DiBiase and Brutus Beefcake and their, erm, Face Off, if you will.

Ted goes for a couple of hook ups at the start of the match which Beefcake avoids and does a little strut. Savage says he is worried about Beefcake and "the facial type sutuation. You know what I'm talking about." I don't want to know about that at all, 'Macho', thanks all the same.

It's all Brutus in the early going, with DiBiase swinging a couple of times at the face, but missing. Jimmy Hart keeps telling his charge that Beefcake is no pushover. Brutus, it's key to mention, hasn't taken a bump yet, several minutes in. There is a lot of stalling with DiBiase going to the outside.

Brutus holds a headlock for about a week, and during this pause IRS wanders to ringside, complete with steel briefcase. It doesn't take the man with the red braces to nail Brutus in the back. We have a DQ. Money INC double team Brutus, with Hart looking pained. He tries to stop IRS from inflicting more damage, but no luck. Irwin smacks Brutus with the briefcase after throwing Jimmy down.

Eventually the heels leave, with Jimmy left to try to tend to the fallen Beefcake. Brutus does a good job of holding his face and not letting the camera see it. Actually, this angle was pretty well done although the payoff (eventually) was pretty awful. To conclude the show, Vince tells us that Beefcake is standing in the dressing room and might have a broken nose. Other than that he'll be ok. Huh. I thought they could of held off on that for a little longer. He says Money Inc will be in action next week, so expect to see Beefcake try to exact revenge. He also says it wouldn't surprise him to see Hulk Hogan show up at Raw. That's an odd way to sell the Hulkster's big return after nearly a year, isn't it? A flippant comment in the closing moments of the show. You'd think it'd be big news that Hogan would be there, or no mention and the return comes as a surprise. Hmm.

Anyway, that's that for episode five. I shouldn't have thought it'll be long and I'll have episode six done and dusted. Let's hope no-one fixes Bartlett's microphone before then.

Raw Number Four

Here we go then, the fourth ever Raw, and what a main event we have scheduled, after the teaser from last week. Typhoon v Doink. Fat Bloke v Clown. Who could ask for more?

We start this exciting, historic broadcast with a sound of a chihuahua in an airing cupboard. Oh wait, no, it's Tatanka, and the wailing at the start of his music. Incidentally, his is basically the same entrance theme the 123 Kid, except for wailing swapped for some people shouting "123".

His opponent is the already-in-the-ring-and-therefore-presumably-soon-to-be-released Damien Demento. (Demento was in fact released in October of 1993 - Wiki is your friend.) Demento's hometown is "The Outer Reaches of Your Mind". Just.......what?

Vince on comms has Savage and Bartlett with him. Tatanka is, I believe, undefeated at this point. He starts strongly, and Damien soon is on the outside talking to thin air. Err, ok then. He is heard to say "The Indian Will Suffer." How very unPC.

Vince plugs Typhoon v Doink and a tag match featuring High Energy for later on. He also says we'll have an interview with Brutus Beefcake, so I assume this is the return which led to the big angle. We'll see. I won't spoil it for you if you don't know.

Interestingly, there is a very strong "We Want Flair" chant audible during this match.

Tatanka gets the upper hand, does his skipping version on Hulking Up, and dispatches Demento with his Samoan Drop finisher, which I believe he called the End of the Trail. Vince doesn't namecheck it, and Savage reasserts that Tatanka I still undefeated.

We go then to clips of MSG, where WWF made $100,000 for The Red Cross for the Headlock for Hunger appeal for Somalia. I will always say that whatever things are levelled against Vince and WWE (Many of them deserved) you should always remember that the company does a massive amount for charities. Vince genuinely feels (and I believe he is right) that his company can make a difference in people's lives. I applaud that.

Next, Vince is in the ring with Brutus Beefcake, who gets a nice reaction. Ed Leslie has been a figure of fun over the years, because of his association with Hogan, but he was pretty over here, despite being away for over a year. If you don't know (although he'll tell you in a second) Leslie genuinely had a near-fatal para-sailing accident which shattered his face. This is just over a year later, after having some metal plates fitted.

Beefcake tells us he is back, and will take on all comers. He then tells a (very) long story about his parents dying and his wife leaving him before getting smashed in the face in the above incident. Beefcake paints a picture of him being close to death, and, in his words, he was touching the Hand of God (he means he was dying, not that he knows Maradona.)

Brutus then credits Hulk Hogan with saving his life, and therefore hints that Hogan is more powerful than God. (Book it, Russo. Book it now!) Beefcake talks about how awesome Hogan is a bit more (well, he is awake), and Vince then says he has the Big Man looking over his shoulder. I don't know if he means Hogan or God. If indeed they are different.

So, the gist is, Brutus is back. I don't mean to make fun of him too much, because he did go through some traumatic stuff, but this was pretty dull.

Mania plug for Vegas - it's on April 4, and this Raw which we are looking at right now is from February 8. Let's at least get through all the Raws up until then, shall we?

A ring girl circles with a sign saying "Steak Tartare is RAW" - That's actually a good joke. I may steal that at some point and hope no-one notices.

High Energy are here now. That's Owen Hart and Koko B Ware to the uninitiated. They are taking on the legend that is Iron Mike Sharpe and his partner, who I believe is Glen Ruth, who was a jobber a couple of episodes back. I forgot to mention at the time, Glen Ruth would later bcome more well known to you all as Headbanger Thrasher. (Thanks Paul B for that tip. Good luck at Charlton ;-))

Owen and Koko will this in very short order, mainly with Drop kicks.

After a break, it's a three-shot on Savage, Vince and Bartlett, with the latter wearing a ridiculous combo of white tie, white scarf and sunglasses. He looks like a blind vicar. We get a flashback to Doink using a fake arm to attack Crush that we saw a week or two back, while the live crowd again throwing up a "We Want Flair" chant.

Doink emerges, and I have to say I loved this character. Evil, heel Doink was played to the hilt by Matt Borne. I wasn't keen on the babyface version, but loved this one. So do some of the audience, by the way, who chant "Doink" audibly.

Typhoon is his opponent, and one assumes this is supposed to be a showcase for Doink, who outwrestles Typhoon in the early going. Savage and McMahon talk about Doink being a technical wrestler, while Bartlett attempts a poor conceit about Clowns Anonymous. The other two basically ignore him.

It's hard for a big man like Typhoon to be a babyface in peril, so he basically just no-sells a couple of times after a while, then slams Doink. Typhoon misses an Avalanche (which was a later name of his Natural Disaster partner Earthquake), and Doink hits a second rope clothesline. He pulls some tights, and we're done. That was basically a squash. Poor quality match, really, but good booking of Doink. Fred Ottman would leave WWF shortly afterwards.

Vince talks to Todd Pettengill about WWF Mania, and he says he'll feature Giant Gonzales. Back in the ring, Howard Finkel tells us that Andre the Giant has died. He talks fondly of Andre, and gets the crowd to rise for a ten bell salute. Hmm. We don't see that anymore. So sad that the epidemic of wrestler deaths actually makes companies LESS likely to acknowledge them.

Skimpy costumed ring girl, ads, and then we are back. And the Japanese music signals Yokozuna's presence. Someone named Bobby de Vito is in the ring. Either as an opponent or lunch, I'm not sure which.

Savage mentions that he didn't fare too well against Yoko at the Rumble. Vince says that Hacksaw Jim Duggan will wrestle Yokozuna "this weekend". I assume that it's on Superstars or something similar that Vince can't namecheck because it's on another channel. Mind you, Vince then says (as Cole would say "And I Quote") "This past weekend Hacksaw Jim Duggan issuing the challenge to Yokozuna, and the big man is very much forward looking to.....something along those lines." Yeah, uh, thanks for that, Vinny. Very concise.

A buzzing noise comes over the top of Vince's words. He says that we have a phone connection with Hacksaw. In fact we don't, and the buzzing noise is a dialling tone. The bell goes, DeVito charges, and Yoko kicks him in the face. Hacksaw comes on the line, and calls the big guy Yakkazuma twice. Vince corrects him, and Hacksaw, the spirit of America says "It's some Japanese name". How very racially tolerant.

Duggan talks nonsense, and mercifully is breaking up so they cut him off. Yoko meanwhile has already won the match. Vince plugs Luger after the break. So if you thought Brutus talking was dull.......

In fact, it isn't Luger after the break, it's tag team champs Money Inc (Ted DiBiase and IRS). Vince says they asked for this time, and so DiBiase recites a nursery rhyme. Better than that, he botches a nursery rhyme. "Kings Horses"doesn't rhyme with "together again", Teddy.

The gist is that he's talking about Beefcake. He admits it's a sad story, but that Brutus has a screw loose. Ted says Brutus hasn't wrestled in three years, and both of Money will face him. Ted flips a coin, says he wins, and that he'll wrestle Beefcake. Brutus said he had an open contract, you see. This draws out Jimmy Hart, heel all his life, who says it is a waste of time. He is worried about his boys getting hurt.

DiBiase says Jimmy shouldn't worry, IRS calls Brutus a tax cheat (that's original) and Jimmy asks them to come to the back, selling worry. As they start to leave, here comes Luger to angelic sounding music. He poses to a mirror in the ring, while for no apparent reason other than to be cruel, a fat woman carries a Raw board around the edge of the ring. Classy.

Luger shows his annoyance at this to a very young looking Mike Chioda, before we cut to pre-tape vignette of Mr Perfect being a quarterback. You know, the one where an NFL player acts badly, and Hennig throws a pass to himself. Sort of. The reason for this was that Luger was brought in by Heenan to feud with Perfect.

Back to the ring, Luger is wrestling Jason Knight, of later minor ECW fame. Savage shushes everyone, to read a big announcement. Beefcake has accepted the DiBiase/IRS challenge. I assume for next week. In fact, yes, Vince confirms it. Then plugs Quantum Leap. Fine.

Luger hits a couple of clotheslines and a powerslam, before 'hitting' a big forearm. It looked like he missed by miles. He picks Knight up and punches him once more, before pinning him with his little finger. No talk about a 'loaded forearm' at this stage, so I'm guessing this factors into storyline soon enough. Luger throws Knight around a bit post match to sell arrogance. By that I mean he is trying to look like an asshole, not that he has starting pimping Rick Martel's fragrance.

Two Plus Size ladies now do the ring girl duties, with one of them (this is not a joke) wearing an almost exact replica of the outfit Bertha Faye would later wear. Late ads, including Lord Alfred doing an abysmal job of hyping Terminator 2 for Game Boy, follow, before Vince says Raw will be back in two weeks. There is a Dog Show in the interim. Hang on, he just plugged Brutus v DiBiase for next week, didn't he?

He changes his mind, and says that this will be in a fortnight's time, as well as a 16-man Battle Royal. He doesn't say what it is in aid of. Though he does say Bartlett might enter. I think he is joking. Although I'll pray that he isn't.

Raw Number Three

This is so much fun, I thought I'd carry on for a bit.

So if you are catching up, I'd suggest you pop down a couple of entries, and read "retro reviews" of Episodes one and two of Monday Night Raw, and the look back at the '93 Rumble, too.

That brings us to Monday 25th January 1993, the third episode of Raw, shown, I would imagine, live from The Manhattan Center. Or maybe not, actually. The PPV the day previous was from Sacramento California, so I'd be interested in the logistics of sorting out that switch from wets coast to east.

Anyway, we kick off this week outside the arena with Mike Adamle......oh, wait, no, it's Mooney again. He catches Repo Man jumping out of a tow truck (!) You could be forgiven for thinking it was Chavo, you know, under that mask. Repo squeaks about being ready for Macho Man, and enters the building. Titles, then that bloody annoying siren again.......

Wahey, Heenan's back! We've still got Bartlett, which is a shame, but Bobby is in the chair, which is great news. I'll include some classic Heenanisms if he spouts them forth, which I'm sure he will. Looking forward to his reaction at Flair v Perfect.

The announcing trio run down what we will see tonight, and Repo Man is first out. He looks hilarious in Savage's hat. Savage runs in, no music, jumping the bell. Not many sold uncontrollable anger like Randy did.

They've now mentioned that Savage came close to winning the Royal Rumble, but they haven't said that Yokozuna won yet, nor that Bret beat Razor. Four minutes in. After five, Yoko gets a mention.

Savage dominates the early portion of the match, before Repo catches him outside the ring on the ring steps. This slows the match down. You forget when you go back to 1993 that a lot of workers like Darsow wrestled a very, very basic style back then. It's a quite boring middle section to this match. So boring the announcers have started talking about an inauguration, presumably of Bill Clinton.

Savage turns the tables, and quickly gets a win, landing his big elbow from the top. Feud over, lasted about a week and six minutes. Savage throws him to the outside, but refs won't let him nail Repo on the floor. Too bad. Savage has hit hat back, but it doesn't match. Savage needs Rico.

Hey, it's Mr Backlund! Back when he was still Bob, he tells us no-one should go to bed hungry, in another plug for Headlock for Hunger. Vince says "speaking of Africa......" and says Kamala is on the show later. Ooh, awkward segue city..........

Back from a break, Heenan pervs at the ring girl, as a good heel should, and we go to a Wrestlemania plug. Vince calls Caesar's Palace "Opulent and splendiferous." Erm, ok. The build up seems to be more for the building than the show.

Back to the arena, it's Kamala. Babyface Kamala, remember, as we saw a couple of weeks ago. And he's facing wrestling premier jobber, The wonderful Brooklyn Brawler. I think Brawler used to portray Kimchee quite a lot, ironically.

Good character development and focus on Kamala here, explaining the babyface turn. The crowd are chanting "You Are a Man" to Kamala. The only wrestler they've chanted that to. Apart from Chyna.

Vince mentions Harvey Wippleman bringing out Giant Gonzales the night previous, and says he is eight foot tall. Heenan says he is actually 20'2". Brilliant. (Wikipedia says actual height of 7'6". Who to believe, WWE or Wikipedia. Both such reputable sources (Note sarcasm)) Is that the first time Gonzales name was mentioned?

Kamala hits a splash, then starts rolling Brawler all over the ring. Eventually he pins him, in a very odd manner. Kamala the character isn't really my kind of thing, but credit to Jim Harris, who played him so outlandishly that it has worked for years.

Slick says that he is not responsible for Kamala's success. The people are. He says Wippleman and Kimchee ought to stay away from Kamala; he doesn't know what the Ugandan will do to them if he sees them. I'm genuinely intrigued by this, because I can't remember what happened to Kamala. Although I do remember him bowling.

Gene Mean runs through what happened at Royal Rumble in fine style, and it's time for Flair and Perfect. Perfect gets the upper hand early on, and Ric bails to talk to Heenan, who has a hammer. Ah, if I had one of them. I would hammer in the morning. I would never do it in the evening, though. Have respect for the neighbours.

You'd suggest we are in for a longish one here, as aside from trying to break the indoor record for reverse knife edge chops, this is a cagey opening. Just before a break, Flair throws Perfect to the outside, but is prevented from hitting him with a chair (wooden, not steel folding) by Earl Hebner. That was pretty stupid, he could have been disqualified. Surprised about that.

Back from break and Flair is on top. Just. In fact I think we just about avoided Flair doing a spot where his trunks get pulled down. Thank God he doesn't do that any more. Erm........

Perfect has been sent into a ringpost, and BLEEDS on Raw. Don't get that anymore. Flair uses all manner of nefarious tactics befitting the dirtiest player in the game, including a hilarious spot where he leans on Perfect's throat, choking him, all the while pleading innocence with the ref.

Perfect gets on top, with Heenan getting increasingly animated on commentary, and McMahon getting more with the "1...2...he got him! No he didn't!" routine. Bartlett, mercifully, has shut up.

I'm making fun of the announcing, but to their credit, they are calling it like it's the biggest match of all time. Keep in min Kurt Angle has a 'career' match every sodding week on Impact, and the commentators talk about something else. It goes for every match, though. Commentators refer loosely to the match, then talk about an angle from earlier that night, or plug Dixie's Twitter, or call the show the longest episodic weekly programme this side of Neptune or whatever, and largely ignore the action in the ring.

Flair takes over with a long sleeper, and after Perfect fights out, slaps on the Figure 4. Perfect recovers, and gets on top, but it's another break time. After the ads, Vince tells us there are nine minutes on the broadcast. Once again, an interesting allusion to reality. They talk about what will happen if the match ends after the broadcast ends. McMahon says they'll fight to a finish and they'll show the result next week. I mean, we both know it will finish before the end, but even lip service to it being real is nice, isn't it?

Flair clocks Perfect with a foreign object, but Hennig gets a foot on the ropes. This is a very good match, and I'm taking into account the fact that I know who wins, because should you not know the outcome, you'd be even more into this. ]

Just as Vince asks Bartlett why he is so quiet, Perfect starts, well, hulking up, basically. Irish whip. back drop, clothesline, then Flair's upside down corner bump and so forth. A series of nearfalls, to which the crowd seem largely apathetic. Hmm.

They soon wake up, though. Flair reverses an Irish whip to the ropes, and drops the head. Perfect hooks it, and hits a Perfect Plex. The directing and camerawork leaves much to be desired, as it is unclear whether Perfect gets three, but the large cheer, referee raising Hennig's hand and music playing all give small clues.

Heenan goes into overdrive. Vince tells Bobby it's his (Heenan's fault), and Heenan's response is bleeped out. Heenan leaves with Flair, who wouldn't be seen on Raw again in person until 2001, the day after the InVasion ended.

A plug for WWF mania is next, and then Vince telling us they are about to name a big match for next week. But first there are more ads........this better be a big match.......

IT'S.........Typhoon v Doink. Ooh, craptacular. That was worth waiting for. Meanwhile, Vince says that Flair will honour his obligations through the weekend - presumably they were fearing some house-show backlash if he didn't turn up as promised.

So, Typhoon v Doink, huh? Can't wait for that............That's so exciting, I'm going to have to continue these old Raw reviews now. Oh well..........

Repost - Retro Rumble 1993

Hi All,

I first posted the below piece in January 2008, as part of a series reviewing some old Royal Rumbles. Since I've had a little fun reviewing the first two Raws, I thought it would be apt to post this review, as it fits in very well with our vintage (/Cole) Raw coverage.

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Its 1993, it’s Gorilla and the Brain, and its the Arco Arena.

It’s the Royal Rumble, and we’re kicking off with The Steiner Brother against the Mullet twins, dah, I mean The Beverly Brothers, who seem to be sans Genius this year.

Scott Steiner, at this point, was an ordinary looking, talented individual and not the genetic (yeah, right) freak that he is now. The Steiners were a great team back then, with two individual looks, so quite a step up for the Beverlys considering they had the Bushwhackers for opponents the year before.

Hey, I’ve just noticed the referee is Fonzie. I have nothing to followed that up with, but that’s who the ref is. Wow, what a start to this recap. Hooked, ain’t ya?

The Steiners, at this point, had only been in the WWF for about 6 weeks, so this was basically a showcase outing for them. With this in mind, it wasn’t a great match, although the obvious result occurred, with both men hitting some stiff looking clotheslines and suplexes, Rick collecting the hot tag and cleaning house, before Scott hit the Frankensteiner and boy did the Beverly brother (I don’t know which is which) land square on his head.

Steiners win, and the obligatory face win to open the show is over.

Up next is Marty Janetty v Shawn Michaels for the IC title, a feud over a year in the making. It was a year in the making, though, because Janetty was supposed to work the injury inflicted on him in a episode of Brutus Beefcake’s barber shop, but managed to get himself fired before the payoff at Wrestlemania VIII.

Janetty returned in late 1992, and reignited the feud, and here at the Rumble we see a recap of Janetty’s return, which was fantastically well done. A great camera shows Michaels see Marty in a mirror Sensational Sherri was holding up for him. Marty knocks Shawn down, swings the mirror and Shawn pulls Sherri in front of him to take the blow.

It was a great build up to this match, and we kick off with Sherri wandering to ringside, in no-one’s corner in particular. Jannetty is out first, and appeared to put his ring gear through an industrial shredder before he went through the curtain.

The match is underway, and it’s all Janetty in the early going. He looked so different when Kennedy brought him out on Raw. Oh it wasn’t him? Really? Had me fooled.

Anyway, Michaels takes over, puts Janetty on his shoulder and runs him into the ring post on the outside. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that move actually hit apart from on this occasion.

They work the arm convincingly for quite some time. Another thing you don’t see that often, and Jannety does a good job of selling it. He gets the inevitable comeback, including a pretty cool suplex to the outside, and Sherri blasts Michaels to show her allegiance. Marty pounds away, and we have a couple of really close near falls, until referee Joey Marella takes a bump. Hmm, a Morella who gets easily beaten down. Something else that you don’t see.......oh wait, we do have that now.

Sherri comes in, high heel in hand like a drunk ladette on a Friday night, and swings at Shawn. She misses and levels Marty, so Shawn tells her off. He lifts Marty into position, nails the superkick, and Marty takes a ridiculous twisting bump. Shawn gets 3 and Sherri runs off in tears.

Gene tries to get a word with Sherri, and even starts to tell her off. The bloke who you tried to smack with a shoe, fine. But Mean Gene? How embarrassing is that? Anyway, Shawn confronts her, but gets jumped by Janetty. This feud lasted ages......one more day, in fact, when Janetty turned up for Raw drunk.

He came back during the year, and although he had a short IC title run and held the tag belts with the 123 Kid (X-Pac), he never lived up to his potential. This is a great shame, because watching the match we have just seen, he was a decent worker who was over.

Inventive theme music time as Bam Bam Bigelow comes out to the strains of........a fella saying Bam Bam over and again.

Boss Man is the opponent, and Bigelow jumps him early. Standard big man fare, but to be fair both of these men could go, and were pretty athletic. Certainly a damn sight more interesting than seeing Mark Henry or Big Daddy V.

Gorilla calls Bam Bam “not that bright”, because apparently saying ‘lateral collateral’ rather than just ‘knee’ makes you a bloody Mensa member.

Bam Bam nails a flying headbutt from the top, and this one is over .Gorilla calls it an impressive win, but that’s only if you consider 4 minutes of rest holds impressive.

Footage of Razor Ramon attacking Owen Hart is shown, before Gorilla says that Owen Hart literally got creamed. I don’t even want to think about what being ‘creamed’ really means.

Razor cuts a neat little promo with Ray Rougeau, apparently from basketball game, and then comes to the ring. The lack of depth in the company at this point shows in the fact that Razor, who was always a decent enough performer, is number one contender, as wasn’t really considered likely to take the strap from the Hitman.

The place goes wild when Bret comes out, and maybe I’m biased because I’ve always been a huge mark for the Hitman, but I don’t recall too many guys being as over as he was at that time. Even the Rock. Maybe Hogan and Austin, but that’s it.

The match gets underway, with Razor taking the early advantage, but Bret avoids a rush to the turnbuckle, and Razor hurts his knee. Big mistake. See, this is why I loved Bret, because everything he did made sense. He systematically begins to pound on Ramon’s knee, using a figure four, the ring post, the ropes, kicks, leg whips, a whole manner of offense. All for a reason.

Razor changes momentum, and the psychology of the match increases further as Bret takes a stiff looking bump to the ribs on the ring post having gone underneath the turnbuckles. Razor then begins to pound on the lower back.

Interesting to see Razor to get a 2-count and complain to the official. As champion, it must be nice for Bret to know he can trust the referee, who in this case is.........Earl Hebner. Er, ok then. Ten years, and I’m still bitter. That’s right.

Bret fights back, throwing Razor to the outside then diving on top of him. He plays the plucky babyface for a bit, throwing a series of rights, and then starts his little series of moves leading to his finisher. Atomic drop, clothesline, Backbreaker, Russian Leg Sweep, Bulldog. The beauty of it all is that he sells his own injury while doing all this.

Sharpshooter attempt countered by virtue of the ref getting ‘inadvertently’ pulled on top of Bret, breaking the hold. Ooh, those dastardly Hebners. Razor gains the upper hand, but Bret with a fantastic counter series of moves into a back suplex. Razor back on top, and signals for the Razor’s Edge, but Bret counters into a backslide.

Ramon back on top as the pendulum swings again, and while this isn’t a classic, the ride you are taken on by virtue of the psychology is superb. Bret counters another Razor Ramon power move into a very innovative pinning combination, and while both men are lying on the deck, applies the Sharpshooter, reminiscent of his famous match with Mr Perfect at Summerslam 1991.

Cracking title match, although you never really felt that this was to be Scott Hall’s first title.

Next up, Bobby Heenan unveils the Narcissist. He’d been talking about this guy for about a month, without naming names. When the unveiling took place, and Heenan revealed it was Lex Luger, the reaction was........almost non-existent.

Now I love Heenan’s commentary, he is undoubtedly the best colour guy ever, but his fawning over Luger was a bit embarrassing. Anyway, Luger cuts a passionless promo about Mr Perfect, who Bobby Heenan was in a tussle with at the time. I’ve never understood why Luger stayed near the top of companies for so long. Good lord that was dull.

From the Narcissist of Greek Mythology to Ancient Rome, and here are Caesar and Cleopatra. OK then. You see, Wrestlemania was at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas that year, so some dude in a Toga had to waffle on about stuff for 3 minutes. Very boring and pointless. Still more interesting than Luger though.
Rumble time, and number one is.............Ric Flair.

Bobby Heenan asserts confidence in the fact Flair can still win, which is obviously a death knell. The fact that he’d already signed with WCW at this point stood against him too.

Bob Backlund was number two, and got nothing. No music, not reaction, nothing. He was 43 at the time, and he’d be champion again within two years.

Papa Shango, early incaranate of The Godfather Charles Wright, and source of many childhood nightmares is in at 3, but lasts seconds before Flair dumps him.

Gorilla then does another classic piece of telegraphing, reminding us that when Backlund was WWF champion previously, he did some major feats of endurance. So basically you are saying he’d be able to stay in the Rumble for a long time, right? Thanks Gorillia, much appreciated.

I love the fact that they are playing up the fact that Backlund is 43 – wow, that’s so old, they seem to say. Ric Flair, by contrast was........just short of his 44th birthday. A spring chicken if ever there was one.

In at 4 is Ted DiBiase, and 5 is Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys. Now the Nastys got booed last year, and cheered this, so I suppose they must have had a face turn in between times. Gorilla informs us that the Nastys are feuding with Money Inc, which is DiBiase and IRS. Thanks. Knobbs nearly eliminates Flair, and gives Ted a Pit Stop (if you don’t know, you don’t want to).

Virgil is out next, and of course gets straight into it with The Million Dollar Man, who evicts Knobbs. So to speak.

Jerry Lawler is number 7, and Heenan tells us that he is the host of WWF Superstars. Lawler has done pretty well to still be quite a good broadcaster consider he’s been around for the best part of 15 years.

Max Moon is next, and I guess that might need an explanation. Max Moon was supposed to be a futuristic spaceman kind of character, and it was originally played by the man known as Konnan now. However, he had a dispute and left, so Paul Diamond (who I referenced as Cato in the 1992 review) took over. I don’t know which one played Max on this occasion. Anyway, the character sucked, and so badly that I haven’t even finished this paragraph and he’s gone.

As Moon got eliminated, Japanese superstar Tenryu entered, cueing up a Heenan classic. A reverse knife edge exchange with Flair led to Monsoon saying that Tenryu’s were better. Heenan: “How do you think they get the term Chop Suey?” Slightly racist, perhaps, but very funny.

Mr Perfect Curt Hennig is number 10, and of course heads straight for Flair. The focus is purely on these two for the whole two minutes that precede Skinner’s entry.

Soon after, Perfect eliminates Flair, and would go on to beat him in a Career match the following night on Raw.

Koko B Ware is out here now, and another borderline racist moment from Heenan, as he greets Koko’s arrival with “Someone call a cab?” Sorry if that offends you, but that Heenan cracks me up.

Perfect watches an impressive feat of athleticism by Skinner and rewards the Alligator man by dropkicking him out of the contest.

13 is a not at all racist gimmick of a bloodthirsty Samoan savage (thank God they don’t do that any more) and it’s Samu, one half of the Headshrinkers.

The Berserker is out next. You know that guy had such a great look, and I honesty think it he came along now he’d do really well. I didn’t say it would interesting, but he’d get a push.

Perfect eliminates Lawler, and then is thrown over the top himself, although it takes Lawler to help rid the ring of him.

Looking at the ring, it is now seriously devoid of star power, so it must be time for........The Undertaker. Tenryu and Samu are gone in quick succession, while Berseker slams Backlund on the concrete. You’ll see why in a minute.

Terry “Don’t call me Red Rooster” Taylor is next in, and is thrown by DiBiase at the same time as Koko. Taker throws the Million Dollar man, and gets to work on the Berserker, when you see the crowd look to the aisle.

The camera (from a great low angle shot) shows a gigantic man (who we would find out later was called Giant Gonzales) accompanied by Harvey Wippleman. Not an official entry in the Rumble, he enters the ring after Taker drops Berserker, and clubs Taker. The Giant eliminates Taker, then systematically destroys the Deadman, including using Taker’s own Goozle.

I want to note, for the record, as I have never really had the chance, that although Gonzales was one of the worst wrestlers of all time, I think his debut was one of the best. He looked enormous, got instant heat and shocked the audience because of his domination of the Undertaker. Mainly, though, the commentators did an awesome job of selling him. Absolutely brilliant. They explained about Wippleman’s past involvement with Kamala and how the Undertaker destroyed him.Eventually Paul Bearer came down to use the urn to revive Taker, and he went to the back. The feud was abysmal after that, but the opening was a belter.

After Taker is gone, we are left with Backlund being beaten down by IRS and Damian Demento (I’d forgotten him too) before Tatanka makes the save. Watching this may remind you that Tatanka was big-time over at the time. By the way, now you know why Berserker slammed Backlund outside, because they didn’t want him eliminated but if he had stayed in the ring, he’d have been slung by Taker or destroyed by Gonzales.

The other Nasty Boy (Janet Jackson’s favourite tag team) is in now, and of course goes for IRS. Some good continuity happening here. Big Typhoon is out now, also getting cheered, so another face turn in the last 12 months has taken place, and I notice that his singlet has a picture of a tidal wave on it. Which isn’t a Typhoon. That’s a Tsunami, surely. Maybe there was confusion about Tsunamis spreading Typhoid. I don’t know.

While I’m talking crap, Fatu is out here, and yes that is Junior Fatu AKA Rikishi, famed for his role as the Sultan. Or maybe not.

At this point you can look at the ring and realise that star power is truly lacking. Any form of logic tells you that with the winner facing the champ at Mania, realistically of the guys that have entered so far, it could only be Taker, Flair or Perfect, and they are all gone. So the tension was lost because it could only really be Yoko or Savage to win.

Earthquake and went straight to Typhoon, which made zero sense, because those two could have dominated all before them, then duked it out, but no, that would logical, so they fought each other instead .

I’ve lost count now, so number blank comes out now, and it’s Carlos Colon, father of current/former WWE wrestler Carlito. Monsoon calls him a youngster. Colon was 47 at the time. Makes Backlund and Flair look like young pups.

Tito Santana is next, and as he pounds on Earthquake, Backlund eliminates Fatu. I’m not sure if I hear it properly, and I’ve never noticed it before, but it sounds very much like a ‘we want Hulk’ chant. Sadists.

Rick Martel follows his former Strike Force partner, and these two get straight into it, and as they do, Quake throws out IRS.

Tito nearly eliminates Backlund, and the crowd scream for him to hang on. Not bad considering he got no reaction at all when he entered.

A Japanese flag poking through the curtain foreshadows the next entrant, and it a sumo wrestler who looks a lot like a Samoan. He slings Tatanka, and then Colon, before Earthquakes faces him up. As Quake clotheslines away, Owen Hart is the next man in.

Quake misses an Avalanche (I’m not getting my disasters confused, that’s the name of the move) and gets heaved over by Yokozuna.

Repo man comes out and runs straight into Yoko, who is clearly the story of the Rumble now. Everyone gangs up on Yoko, in much the same way was they used to do to Andre, but Yoko fights them all off.

Next out is the only other man who could win this, Randy Savage. He goes to work on Repo while Santana is next eliminated. A big drop kick by Owen Hart ousts Sags, and the Rocket escapes being slung by the Model, but is soon removed by Yokozuna.

Repo Man leaves the scene thanks to Savage, and its down to Martel, Savage, Yokozuna and Backlund. That must be all, because I’m sure it’s been more than two minutes since Savage came in.

Backlund is announced at 61 minutes in the match, and Heenan again expresses surprise at Bob’s age. Hell, Michaels and Undertaker now are 42. Backlund rids the ring of Martel, then gets the attention of Yokozuna. Brilliantly, as the time ticks past the moment where he breaks the record Backlund throws dropkicks to unsettle the big man, but then gets unceremoniously thrown out.

Down to just Savage and Yoko, and as Mr Fuji waves the Japanese flag at ringside, Yoko shouts Samoa into a camera. Nothing like a bit of nationalism.

Savage plays a great role of babyface in peril, and becomes the first person to knock Yokozuna off his feet. Thinking clearly, Savage drops his patented elbow from the top, and covers Yoko. Seriously, he covered him. In an over the top battle royal, he covered a 560-pound man. Hmm, logical.

Heenan says he is not leaving until the Royal Rumble is over. Good, considering that’s his job, but presumably, somewhere, Bill Watts is smiling.

Anyway, from a lying down position, Yoko manages to throw the Macho Man all the way over the top rope. Yokozuna is then led to the back by the Romans as we go to highlights of the show.

This is one of my favourite early Rumbles, because I think the wrestling pre Rumble is strong; with great stories told in both IC and WWF title matches, and a reasonably busy Rumble match itself. Perhaps it’s a little predictable as to how would win it, but as something you can go back and watch, its fun to watch a Rumble as it used to be. They are very overbooked these days.

Raw number 2

I had some fun with the retro review of Raw #1 last week - more than I did this week's 900th effort, anyway - so I thought I may step on a week and see how WWE followed up their first ever Monday Night flagship show.

If you didn't see the review of the first show, then either scroll down a little bit, or if you are particularly lazy, just click here. http://robmcnichol.blogspot.com/2010/08/900-to-1.html

S0 lets fire up the time machine, and head back to January 18 1993, six days before the Royal Rumble of that year.

The show starts with Vince McMahon, Randy Savage and Rob Bartlett - a man who I had forgotten the existence of until review last week's show, and I realise exactly why my brain had chosen to blot him out. I prefer Michael Cole.......just.

Bartlett rips up a piece of paper with a picture on it, and says "fight the real enemy." I couldn't see who the picture was of (Heenan maybe?).

In a fun start, Savage is attacked from behind by Barry Darsow, in his guise as The Repo Man. Vince and Rob talk to Savage, as the very annoying opening siren drones on. Macho Man appears to have lost his hat. Oh dear. Sorry, I mean, OHhhhhhhh De-yuh!

After the opening theme music, it's......well, what do you know, TNA head of Talent Relations, 'Terrific' Terry Taylor. (Don't say rooster, don't say rooster, don't say rooster.......) His opponent is Mr Perfect, who was really over as a babyface at this point, having turn in the build up to Survivor Series, 1992, accepting the position as Randy Savage's tag team partner, replacing The Ultimate Warrior who had disappeared following one of his 465 sackings from WWF.

Savage meanwhile, on this show, hasn't spoken so far, so I'm assuming he's gone backstage and will re-emerge to wrestle Repo later on.

The match begins, and Vince acknowledges that Randy is 'on the prowl' looking for Repo Man. He soon returns, and says Repo Man clocked him, but he'll get him at some point. Perfect meanwhile, dominates the early stages, and the crowd chant "We Want Flair".

They've got Heenan on the phone now, and it apparently was Heenan's photo who Bartlett ripped up. Heenan plugs All American Wrestling. Savage asks about Repo and his hat. Uh, there's a match on. They go to a break, and they are all over the place.

Back from ad, and Heenan is still on the phone, Taylor on top in the ring. Heenan tells Vince he is calling collect - Vince says to hang up. Funny.

Perfect gets back on top, while the commentators plug the Rumble. Oh, here's Flair. He's looking old and telling the President of the company they are drop dead gorgeous. Oh no, that was Impact last week. Here, Ric looks like he did for most of career - like the challenged brother of Naked Gun actor Leslie Neilson.

Taylor knocks Hennig to the outside, and Flair attacks with the ref's back turned. Perfect is rolled back in the ring. Triple T attempts a suplex, but Hennig responds with.......well, it's known as a Fisherman's suplex, and Perfect called it the Perfect Plex. Vince calls it a Superplex. I guess I shouldn't get so annoyed with Cole when calls Randy Orton's powerslam a scoop slam, should I? Perfect gets the win and runs to the back, obviously to attack Flair.

A sign of the times - the camera gets to the curtain and stops. No going backstage in 1993.

After a break, a slightly skanky ring girl hold up a sign, before we get the same ICOPRO and Slim Jim ads as last week, as well as Lord Alfred plugging X-Men and Spiderman on SNES. I feel old.

Bret is next, appearing on Raw #2, where he was slightly more relevant than at #900. Decent interview, with the most notable thing being that Vince asks Bret about his strategy. They talk about being a technical wrestler, and about how he plans to win. Good lord, how we don't hear that any more. That should be the primary focus of World Title matches. Sure, have a reason for them to feud, of course, but they'll get that 'big fight feel' that they love to talk about if they actually treat wrestling as a serious sport.

After Bret, it's Paul Bearer and Taker in the blue screen interview room, where they talk about the Headlock on Hunger event to raise money for Somalia. No, I'm serious. Couldn't they have found someone other than THE TWO PEOPLE IN THE COMPANY ASSOCIATED WITH DEATH to try and get people to pledge money to, uh, stop people dying. The big guy says "No-one should starve to death". Uh, thanks Take, for those words of exquisite wisdom. That was just odd.

Marty Janetty v Glenn Ruth (DJ - Designated Jobber) is next. Marty on top, and Shawn is on the phone. He calls Janetty a simpleton, amongst other things, and says Sherri will be in his corner at the Rumble. Janetty eventually wins with the Rocker Dropper (Vince doesn't recognise it)

Crush isn't going to the Rumble apparently. We flip to WWE Superstars from the previous weekend, where Doink took out the big Hawaiian with a fake arm. Lawler and Savage on commentary do a really nice job, but Vince freaks out that Doink took his own arm off. I can't believe how bad Vince is, listening back. I thought he was good when I was a kid.

Poor Sean Mooney is still stood outside the building, just like last week, only this time he finds Repo Man, not Bobby Heenan. Repo has the hat, and Savage goes beserk, even though he changes his hat every week. They talk via the earpiece, and Savage takes off again. Repo Man is one of those gimmicks/acts that shouldn't work, but somehow did via the ridiculously over the top performance by Darsow.

Gene Mean is back with another Rumble plug. Razor with a brief threat to Bret. I loved that Razor character. I thought Scott Hall was fantastic for about three years as Razor. Gene Mean runs down some of the Rumble competitors. The gimmick of the graphic is that the still photos are 'bursting' through the wall. Which sounds lame until you see a picture of Fred Ottman (Typhoon) grinning ludicrous, and if you're like me you have a Shockmaster flashback. Poor Uncle Fred.

Back to Mooney outside, and Savage runs past him. Savage looks like such a bizarre, campy clown with all his purple tassles. I don't care how good a wrestler he was (and he was awesome) I always felt his attire hurt him around this time. Savage can't find Repo, so it's back to the ring.

Vince McMahon calls Tito Santana one of the greatest ever. So why did you dress him up like a bloody bullfighter? He is wrestling Ric Flair, with his appallingly bad midi file 2001 (A Space Odyssey) entrance music. Savage is back, and it'll be interesting to see how much he comments on Flair, since the pair of them had a rivalry that lasted most of the previous year.

It's no fun listening to anyone except Heenan call a Santana match. I miss Bobby. Does he get back onto Raw? I can't remember. Two minutes into the match and you start to recall why Flair was so great. He hasn't even got close to an offensive move yet, he has just fed for Tito the whole time, making him look good. I mean, Tito was pretty good, but Flair's way was to build the opponent convincingly, only to knock him down. Classic.

On commentary, Vince confirms Savage v Repo Man for the week after. Savage says he has to think of what to do for 7 days. Vince suggests, uh, the Rumble? Savage says "you're right". Nice to know the runner up cared so much.

Tito hits his big forearm, but for some reason doesn't cover Flair. He waits for him to get up, then charges again, misses, and falls to the outside. As he does, Perfect emerges to pull Flair out, drawing a DQ. Refs and agents come to break it, and they do the whole wild brawl spot. Savage calls it a Pier 9 brawl. I thought it Pier 6 was the rough one? Trouble must be spreading.

They brawl backstage, and Vince asks we can get a camera back there. Apparently not, since we now get a ten second close up of the curtain. They promise a word with Flair or Perfect after the ads......

Or not. Flair and Perfect fight through the curtain again. They split apart, and Flair heads to McMahon. Mic time......Flair says the WWE isn't big enough for him and Mr Perfect, so he is challenging Perfect next week on Raw in a Loser Leaves Town match.

Perfect soon wanders over, after Flair leaves. Perfect says he'll take it in a heartbeat. He calls he and Flair the two best athletes in the WWF. His music hits and the crowd cheer. I loved Perfect's music. One of the best ever.

The show ends with Repo Man having possession of that hat and a car. Oh yeah, I should have told you. Bartlett kept droning on about checking his car throughout the show, I just thought he was telling a bad joke.

Well, ok, he WAS telling a bad joke, but it was actually leading somewhere. I apologise for the omission. Please try to sleep tonight, won't you?

900 to 1

Next Monday, WWE celebrates the 900th edition on Monday Night Raw. Whether this is or isn't the exact 900th ep (their 800th one was a little off) and whether you like WWE or not, this is really is a marvelous achievement.

I was curious to see, though, how exactly the first show would be able to compare with the most recent offerings, so I got into to my high tech, patent pending McNichol Time Expander (a subsidiary of the McNichol Eliminator company) and went back to January 11th, to the Manhattan Center, for the first ever Monday Night Raw.

Here are my findings.......

So, we're ready for the first ever Monday Night Raw. And who will be the first ever guy we see on the Broadcast? Vince McMahon? Shawn Michaels? Bret Hart?

Nope, it's legendary announcer Sean Mooney. There's a trivia question to ask your friends. Mooney tells us it is cold in New York, but hot in the building. Or something. He stumbled over the word 'Elements', which was sort of funny because it came over a little bit like "elephants" - "braving the elephants" would have been a fun gimmick for the opening night.

Mooney is interrupted by Bobby Heenan trying to get into the building, but Mooney tells him Rob Bartlett is hosting. Who? I don't remember him at all. Wait, stop the tape, Google time.........

Wow, Bartlett hosted along with Vince and Savage for the first 3/4 months of the show. I genuinely have no recollection of the guy. Admittedly during this time we didn't get Raw in this country, but we were shown highlights on WWF Mania, with Todd Pettengill (ooh, I wonder if we'll get Pettengill, the poor man's Borash, on this show?)

Back to the tape, and Heenan is upset because he can't even buy a ticket. Nice (not very) subtle way of saying they are sold out.

After some dubious theme music - I think Raw have had some great theme tracks, but not this one - we hear the familiar "welcome everyone" of mid-90s Vince. He intros the show over a very annoying siren. I assume that's the fashion police come for Savage's garish gear and Bartlett's appalling sunglasses.

Bartlett does an Adamle, and tells us it's going to be Koko B Ware v YokozuMa. Not Jeff Harvey then? Actually Adamle did his faux pas in MSG, so maybe it's a New York thing.

Sure enough, here is Koko, quite oddly to Owen Hart's music. I always think of Bird Bird Bird and Piledriver when it comes to Koko, but I forget he teamed with Owen for a bit in High Energy. Indeed, Yoko also teamed with Owen, winning the tag belts.

Yoko comes out, and he is pretty sizable. Yoko was a big star and a multi-time WWF champion. The other was a jobber. Which one is in the Hall of Fame?

McMahon says that Yoko has a combination of all of the martials arts. Yeah, he was a real high-flier, with some great kung fu style kicks, wasn't he? (Note sarcasm) Bartlett says Yoko is "One big butted Oriental." McMahon replies "In a manner of speaking, yes." I assume in the manner that he has a big butt, and not oriental, since he was Samoan. Bartlett says ass, and Vince and Savage piss themselves a little bit. Remember when WWF was PG and you couldn't say 'ass'? Oh right......

From this point, just assume that Bartlett does a weak Yokozuna - sorry, YokozuMa - size joke every twenty seconds, and suffixes it with "eh Vince?"

Vince gives a plug at this stage for the Royal Rumble (it was thirteen days later) and says tat Yoko will be in it, as will Savage. In fact they were the last two remaining.

Yoko has a big bruise on his left, erm, breast, but it doesn't stop him, erm, standing basically still, but throwing Koko all over the ring. Eventually he drops a leg, hits the splash in the corner then the Banzai Drop. The ropes look really loose, by the way.

After a Rumble hype video and an ad break, it's back to Vince and co, with a swift cutaway to a gratuitous shot of a young lady in a leotard holding up a Monday Night Raw board. Wearing a one-piece, still PG.

They cut to a Bobby Heenan-in-front-of-a-curtain promo (despite him being outside the building). He talks up his new charge "Narcissus", who is yet to be named as Lex Luger. He would be unveiled at the Rumble, and he'll be going after Mr Perfect. Good stuff from Heenan, though he ended up going well overboard at the Rumble.

Steiner time next. Bartlett exposes idiocy a little bit more by asking which is Scott and which is Rick. I didn't catch the names of their opponents, who are such uber jobbers, it seems, that they don't get clear announcements and are under hoods, too. I'm guessing they are called The Executioners, because they did that gimmick a fair bit back then, with different outfits.

(As soon as I typed that, Vince called them Executioners)

Just as this match starts, with Scotty hitting a hard looking tilt-a-whirl slam, Doink appears in the background, with Vince referring to him as "That goofy-looking clown." and not by name, initially. Eventually Bartlett calls him Dork the Clown, and Vince actually agrees, and has to be put right by Savage. Quite the turning of tables.

The Steiners destroy their opponents with an array of good (and painful) looking moves, including a finisher of a bulldog version of the Doomsday Device. I miss these old squash matches. They only take up a couple of minutes, and really get over the moves of the wrestlers in question.

Cut back to Mooney outside. (I like how they wouldn't let Heenan in, but Mooney is on the team and still has to stay outside) He sees a security guy stopping a 'woman' who claims to be Rob Bartlett's aunt. Of course it's Heenan, and it's ludicrous, but it's funny because Heenan was just a riot.

In house adverts next. Bret putting over IcoPro (it was a supplement that WWF promoted), Savage putting over Slim Jims, and Lord Alfred (badly) putting over WWF video games. I think he said Bert The Hitman Hart.

Next it's Razor Ramon, who was number one contender at the time, doing his Bad Guy Cuban shtick. He does draw some cheers for this with the (slightly) raucous NYC crowd, but overall it isn't a big sell promo considering he is a world title match less than two weeks later.

Some promotion for Headlock for Hunger charity event later, it's time for the IC champ. Which was.....any guesses.........? Yes, you at the back, well done, it was Shawn Michaels.

Before HBK, we get the entrance of Max Moon, who gets no music and seems to firing off some balls of fire. Bizarrely, though, this is shown from a very long range camera. The music starts and the focus comes in as he enters the ring and does a couple of forward rolls. That's Paul Diamond (Kato) in the suit by the way.

Michaels has his old music, the one Sherri sang, and a blue strap to the IC belt. The crowd are getting a little behind Shawn (the heel) as Vince says "Thus far it seems to me Max Moon is outclassing Shawn Michaels." I guarantee that is the only time that sentence has ever been used in the history of man.

Mid match break, and it's back with Michaels on top, and a little plug for Shawn v Marty Janetty. This is all over the place now, because Doink is back out, while Bartlett does a bizarre Mike Tyson impression for about five minutes, with Vince 'interviewing' Tyson and including a reference to two royal divorces. I wonder if they played this to Iron Mike (Tyson, not Sharpe) when they got him on board in 1999.

Michaels, near the end of the match, hits Sweet Chin Music, but this is before he put lead in his soles, or whatever, because it is simply called as a "savate kick", and he actually finishes Moon with a side suplex, which was his finisher at the time. Imagine someone having a side suplex as a finisher now.

After a WWF Mania plug, it's Gene Mean and his little mustache to give us a Royal Rumble Report. Promos from Shawn and Marty, and a run down of some of the Rumble competitors. At one point Fuji talks for his charge, and says YokoZuma fives times. Not just Bartlett then.

A guy with a big beard and ringlets tries to get into the building. Hmm. No joy there for Bobby Heenanstein. Which is nearly the name of the other ballroom, funnily enough.

A flashback to Superstars shows a Kamala face turn, when Reverend Slick tried to stop Kimchee and Harvey Wippleman berating the Ugandan Giant, and Kamala turned on is captors. Man, face turns were easy back then.

BONG! Taker is here......I think. The crowd cheer the weak sounding gong, and the camera stays on Damien Demento, Undertaker's opponent for the evening. No lights out, nothing. Suddenly Taker is getting in the ring. We just take that entrance for granted now.

Taker swiftly beats Demento, as Vince plugs Santana v Flair and Perfect v Shango for the following week's show. He also plugs Woody Allen v Mia Farrow in a steel cage, which I assume was a one hit joke, as I don't remember a Donald v Rosie style segment, though I may be wrong.

Finally, we get Doink (dork?) with Vince outside the ring. Vince asks why Doink makes kids cry. The clown says they have no sense of humour. Vince says Crush is after him, to which Doink sells no fear. Crush comes out to threaten the clown. I don't remember too many Crush promos. I now know why. Doink squirts the big Hawaiian with a water gun. Crush chases him (slowly) around the ring a little, then gets into the ring, and his music plays. Is that it? Remember this angle would play out at WRESTLEMANIA.

The show ends with Bobby Heenan finally being allowed into the building. The joke being that the show is over, and Bobby doesn't realise it. Har dee haha.

So that's it. How does it compare to today? To use an Eric Bischoff phrase, it's apples and bricks. There are aspects of wrestling that worked in that era that could still be used, like the squash match, but we've evolved so far we often don't even realise it. From a production standpoint, this looks so different. There are less big stars, a lack of quality in the ring. The crappy Vince humour is prevalent in both, mind you.

I quite enjoyed this little stroll down memory lane. Maybe I'll take a look at some other old shows in weeks to come. Thanks for joining me in this little jaunt. Mind your step, now.

Raw Thoughts - August 2

• Haven't done this for a while, have I? Looking forward to this Raw - have avoided spoilers like a mad thing all week. Let's see.......
• Maybe I'm being paranoid, but right from the start, on a taped Raw, I'm sense piped in boos for Edge. I may be wrong, but it's a real pet hate of mine. If the crowd are not reacting as you want, then you are portraying things wrong. Fix it, don't lie to the audience.
• When you see Truth and Edge together, you realise what a good actor Edge is - or at least what a poor one Truth is.
• I really don't get it with R-Truth. He's a poor promo, has a hackneyed catchphrase and is more a gymnast than a wrestler. The only thing that was over was his entrance, and I think that is fading.
• The thing everyone always says about Christian is that he is punished for going to TNA. But so did Jeff Hardy, and he got a World Title. R-Truth didn't leave in the same manner, but he was a major figure in TNA. While we aren't talking WWE titles for him, he has a bigger push than Christian. With half the talent.
• They moved on way too quick after Edge ran away. For that to be taken really seriously they have to have Cole and King discuss it a bit, rather than dismiss it, plug Orton/Miz and go to a break.
• Really nicely done with the build to Melina's return. At least on that night. The Diva's stories are so often an afterthought, so no-one cares about Alicia. (Not Ms Fox's fault) This was pretty sound though. Melina wins the title back at Summerslam.
• Decent squash to keep Sheamus strong. And there's a Triple H reference again. Keeping HHH in the consciousness of the fans.
• Can't help but feel shenanigans are afoot for Jericho v Cena. Would you put that match out in the body of the show, and not as main event.
• Haha! Most PC moment in Raw history. Jericho calls Cena a "Stupid Man".
• Jericho is poetry in motion when it comes to match finishes.
• Enjoyed the hell out of the second half of Cena v Jericho. Started a bit slow, but really got going. Nice post match exposition too.
• The vice grip is not an effective babyface finisher. It elicits no babyface pop at all.
• Nice match with Orton and Miz, but I might have liked to see Miz look more of a threat.
• Overall quite an ordinary show. Fine, no problems, but nothing much to write home about.

Raw Thoughts - May 31

• Interesting start to Raw. Not something you want to do every week, but fun to start on a different concept.
• I like crazy, paranoid Edge. It was too hard to take sensible, contrite Edge seriously. He should now stay heel forever.
• Jericho doesn't win a lot now, does he?
• I hate it when Lawler says (or is forced to say) imbecilic things like never having seen the Walls of Jericho countered into a small package before. Of course we have. That kind of comment helps no-one, because the fans watching will just think Lawler is a fool because they have seen it before and will now think they know better. The point of a commentator is to act as an expert, not come across as having the memory of a goldfish.
• Nice pop for Truth when he won, by the way, and the match itself was really tidy indeed.
• Quite the hot crowd in Austin, TX. Popping for Koslov turning on Regal? Especially considering it was an appalling chokeslam.
• That was pretty dumb. Why would they have Ashton Kutcher come up with the idea for next week and make Bret look like a chump?
• This Raw has really dragged. After a great match early on, there was been basically no action, and very little star power, at least after Vince appeared.
• I LOVED the elevation of Evan Bourne. It will probably only be a short term thing, but the way they orchestrated the whole thing on this show was tremendous. Really sound booking of the attack at the start of the show, the endorsement from Cena and then allowing him to hit his (very over) finisher. Textbook.