Cyber Sunday preview

Cyber Sunday Preview

I want to get two things off my chest.

Firstly, I do not like the concept of this PPV. To be, the skill of promoting a Pay Per View is to put together a show that people want to see, and then they pay for the privilege of watching it. Simple.

The trouble is, people in this situation do not know what they are going to see. After the last one was so good, I’d like to see Jeff Hardy v Triple H again. I think that would be another good match, and although it is likely to happen, it is not certain. I do not watch to have to pay to watch Triple H v Vladimir Koslov, which I do not envisage being a good contest.

Similarly, a high flying babyface match for the ECW title would be fun to see. Hardy v Bourne. Matt v Not Matt. But Evan Bourne might not win. It might be Finlay or Henry who is picked. Finlay is/was a great wrestler, but you can’t help but feel Hardy v Finlay would very much a “WWE-style” match, meaning action we’ve seen a million times before. Hardy v Henry again? No thanks.

I understand that the idea is then to contribute towards the matches you would prefer, but I’m still not crazy about not knowing exactly what you are paying for.

The second annoyance is the constant use of the term “WWE Universe”. It is meaningless and simply smacks of being corporate buzzword. I hate it, and refuse to use it.

So then, on with the preview.......

Shelton Benjamin v ???? (US Title, pre match show)
Choices are K-Truth/R-Kwik OR MVP (More Victories Please) OR The Fake Kane, Freakin’ Festus.

The second string titles are often defended and sacrificed on this show to ‘prove’ that anything can happen. I seem to recall Shelton himself beating Chris Jericho in the opener one year for the IC strap.

Judging by his recent push on Smackdown, Ron Killings looks the most likely candidate. It’s possible that the kids vote will be for Festus as the wacky character, but I’m guessing that RK-TruthKwik will be voted in. And I’ll say that he takes the title, too.

Divas Halloween Contest
Unless one of them is dressed as Lady Godiva I’m not interested.

Pick the Tag Team Match
Choices: Jamie Noble & Mickie James v William Regal & Layla OR Cryme Tyme v Miz/Morrison OR CM Punk & Kofi Kingston v Rhodes and DiBiase
This is one of the least clear cut scenarios, I think. I would firstly dismiss the first option as a likely occurrence (and I don’t even need to dig out the patented McNichol eliminator!) mainly because it has hardly been mentioned on TV at all the last couple of weeks.

Of the other two, though, it’s a tricky one. Since the voting this year is US only and text only it does skew the voting to a younger demographic I would think. Personally I would like to see the team of Punk and Kofi take on the current champeens, and last year I would have been confident this option would win out, but perhaps the heavy promotion of the WWE.com-based rivalry of Cryme Tyme and Mizorrison might have swayed the youth.

If its the latter, then I’d take Miz and Morrison to win by foul means, mainly because Cryme Tyme are so ridiculously over they don’t seem to need to win. If Punk and Kofi get a shot at the gold then they might just win it, you know. I’d take them to be victorious but for the Priceless duo to regain the belt on Raw.


Santino Marella v ???? (Intercontinental Title Match)
Choices: The Honky Donkey Man, Goldendust or Rodney the Piper
This is another tricky one really, because although the entire theme of this is Santino being booked to mock HTM for about 10 straight weeks, Piper is an extremely popular legend.

As I said earlier, this may well be predominantly kids voting, and I don’t think Honky has been seen in WWE since 2001, when Kane eliminated him from the 2001 Royal Rumble. If you speak to Jim Cornette he will tell you about the seven year rule, whereby the viewership has changed enough in seven years that you can reuse ideas.

By a similar token, if the viewers have changed significantly in the last seven, nearly eight years since HTM was seen, they may not be familiar with the “Great Intercontinental champion of all time”.

Piper, however, has been featured as recently as May this year, in the admittedly weak series of skits involving Jimmy Kimmel and Santino Marella. He was in the Rumble this year, too.

In the last three years, he has been inducted into the Hall of Fame, had a brief feud with Bob Orton on TV, done a bunch of Pipers Pits, appeared at Wrestlemania, appeared on Mr McMahon appreciation night, sung Happy Birthday to Matt Striker and even won the Tag Team titles along with Ric Flair at this very event two years ago.

So, there could well be a spanner in the works if they expect Honky to walk this. Goldust, by the way, will not be chosen, but I could see him featured win a backstage skit with Cody, perhaps.


Rey Mysterio v Kane
Choices: Falls count anywhere, No Holds Barred, 2-out-of-3 falls

The first thing to say here is that I can’t believe this one is still dragging on. This simply has not worked, and aside from one cool Raw visual when Kane kicked an airborne Rey, has had very little in the way of memorable moments.

The match choice here is a tough one, because they haven’t necessarily gone for something that will always be chosen (Like a Cage) or something that has been featured in the feud.

2-out-of-3 falls seems too basic and unspectacular to be chosen by the masses, and to be fair No Holds Barred and Falls Count Anywhere are largely the same thing, except the latter is more liberal on pinfalls.

I’d say FCA will get the nod, and I’d suggest Rey will have to win by virtue of a barmy stunt or some such action. Makes no sense to have Kane beat him silly and destroy Mysterio.


Undertaker v Big Show
Choices: Knockout match, I Quit match, Last Man Standing

I think there is a fair chance that the selection here will be a blind one. What I mean by that is that the whole feud has been based on the power of Show’s right hand, so I can see the Knockout stipulation being the winner here. I just hope that doesn’t mean that the combatants have to dress like the ladies from TNA.

Personally I would like to see an ‘I Quit’ match, since they could essentially then have a wrestling match with a twist. It would also open up the Undertaker to use his gogoplata choke, gaining a victory which Vickie could then strip him of. Maybe somehow we lead to a Casket match at Survivor Series?

Matt Hardy v ???? (ECW Title Match)
Choices: Finlay, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry
I’ve outlined some thoughts on this one up in the opening paragraphs.

I’d like to see Bourne, personally, and I think he will get the nod, though I don’t think he’ll win the title. There is no way people will vote for Henry, but perhaps an outside chance for Finlay due to the Hornswaggle factor. I’ll stick to a valiant losing effort for Bourne, though.

Triple H v ????? (World Title match)
Choices: Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Koslov or both
I really cannot see Koslov or the triple threat being sanctioned, so we’ll assume that Jeff gets another crack at Triple H. It seems strange to book the same match (i.e. Trips wins, Hardy goes close, respect...yadda, yadda.) but then this is predictable old WWE, isn’t it?

I can’t see them putting the belt on Hardy, what with his recent and not-so-recent-history, plus the fact that he is on two strikes. So the obvious pick is for Triple H to keep the belt, but I’m going to say that they ruin this with a run-in, with Koslov battering both men and drawing the double DQ.

Personally, I’d love to see Jeff get a title win and a run on top, no matter how brief, but I accept why it wouldn’t likely happen. I also would state that him winning the title would mean absolutely nothing if it is due to Koslov interfering.

I wouldn’t necessarily want to see a run in, but I also do not see how this can be booked without drawing criticism.


Chris Jericho v Batista (WWE title)
Choices for special referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels.
Well, clearly it will be Austin, as per usual. Will he get involved? I’m not too sure. Part of he contract is a Stunner to someone, so that’s more of the game – who does Austin stun tonight? Its likely Jericho, isn’t it?

On the title front, you have to look beyond this match for a contender to guess the winner, but that’s not an easy task. You’d look at Orton or HBK, really, but theoretically it would mean HBK v Jericho again, but that’s not likely. Orton being number one contender says Batista v Orton, but that’s a) rumoured for Mania and b) Orton should face Punk, I would think.

Therefore, I’d look at Jericho v Batista to happen again at Survivor Series, not that it sounds appetising. Let’s go for Jericho for win, via some sort of bizarre means – maybe a low blow with Austin unsighted – but a post-match Stunner and an Adamle declaration on Raw that Batista gets another shot, perhaps in a cage, at Survivor Series.


Hope you enjoy Cyber Sunday, I’ll of course hit you all with my thoughts seconds after the event finishes.

Raw Thoughts - 12th October

· An odd opening to Raw. I was expecting Jericho or someone to interrupt and stop the match.
· OK segment between Jericho and Batista, and the slap was a nice one-up for the antagonist. However, Adamle’s interjection was embarrassing. It’s time to end the experiment. The GM position is one that can be used so well. You need someone who can provide a bit of humour and an air of authority. Adamle provides neither. It is unclear why anyone would have respect for him on the roster and why fans should be entertained by him. I am not the kind of person that thinks that the GM should be babyface or heel, but the way Teddy Long plays a GM works nicely because he has a balance.
· The fake laughing between King and Cole is getting very, very old.
· I’ll be honest I reacted like it was Stone Cold, though. Nice touch on the jacket – “Haastin”.
· So was that Haas doing a Steve Austin impression or a Shark Boy impression?
· Although I’m not thrilled that he is in for a big push, I was impressed with the short video package for Mike Knox. It made him look like a killer.
· From Knox to Snitsky – the last person to get the big man push. I’d say Snitsky will be next on the cut list.
· They got no reaction whatsoever, but I liked the Miz and Morrison bit on the mic. “Are you fifty?” got a laugh from me.
· Pretty good tag match from them too.
· My big problem is that when you have just three weeks between Pay Per Views not much is done to the storyline. Nothing has happened on any note yet. Nothing. They’ve announced a main event but haven’t really explained how the match will work. Apart from that, no storyline advancement, nothing.
· Wow, when even a Santino segment bombs, you know something is up. Hacksaw didn’t get into the swing of that, which is a surprise, because thinking back to the Dating Game segment from about this time last year, Duggan and Santino joined Regal and Simmons and it was superb. This, though, dragged big time.
· And what happened to Santino’s mouth? Papa Shango strikes again?
· Taker and Show in a Knockout match? You mean Show dressed up like Angelina Love? No Thanks.
· Why are they such idiots in the WWE that they do not understand the difference between ‘anniversary’ and ‘instalment’? It is not the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania next year, because the first one was in 1985. Therefore the 25th anniversary – i.e. 25 years on – will be in 2010 at Wrestlemania 26.
· What the hell was that Main event? Ugh, that was terrible. A gauntlet match, by definition, means that you take on a series of individuals until you lose. Jericho lost to Mark Henry, but still wrestled Kane. Surely if there are no consequences on matches then there is no point in having any match unless they are a title match. And then wrestling dies. You have to at least keep the pretence that winning matches matters.
· To add to the ludicrous rules, the world Champion was beaten two out of three times, Regal was made to look like a chump and Batista did nothing of note. Five men were involved, it did nothing for three and made two (Jericho and Regal) look daft. Pointless, terrible main event.

Retro Rumble : 1997

The 1997 Royal Rumble took place in San Antonio, Texas, at the Alamo Dome.

San Antonio is the home of Shawn Michaels. If you are keeping up, the last two Rumbles that we have reviewed have seen Michaels win the prestigious Royal Rumble match. The first time, he went to Wrestlemania and lost to Diesel.

The second time around, though, as a Babyface and the ‘leader of the new generation’ around whom the company was building, he was put over Bret Hart after a gruelling Ironman match.

By the time we rolled around to the Rumble in 1997, Michaels had lost the belt to Sid Justice/Sid Vicious/Psycho Sid/plain old Sid at the Survivor Series at Madison Square Garden, and as the Rumble approached it was to be the rematch.

It seems that we do not have a pre-show Todd Pettengill waffle-fest this year, but we go straight to the commentary team of Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.

We begin the show with Goldust, and this year it’s a babyface Goldust, though still with the same music, effects, and indeed the same lady on his arm. He is going to be taking on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who we are informed has an expanding ego since he won the IC title. Ego? Trips? Nah.

After a brief video charting the rivalry between Triple H and Goldust, The future Game emerges, and as JR says, he is not alone. He is accompanied by a man quickly indentified by our commentators as Curtis Hughes, or Mr Hughes as he was normally known. He had a brief run in 1993, but as I recall only appeared at one PPV, that being King of the Ring of that year.

Anyway, Hughes is alongside Triple H as his ‘butler’ apparently. JR says he heard Helsmley bragging about his new Butler earlier on in the day.

Well, bodyguard or butler or whatever, Hughes has a negligible effect early on, as Goldust has the advantage in the opening exchanges. He even blatantly drops the steel ring steps onto Helmsley’s back, which albeit a cool spot makes no sense because not only does Goldust not get disqualified but Hughes doesn’t protect his charge.

Triple H has a brief flurry, but back on the outside he misses a charge against the rail, hurting his knee, and Goldust once again uses the steps on the knee of Hunter.

Back in the ring the match slows down, and the crowd are dead. Until, that is, the face of Marlena appears on screen, whereby we hear cheers. Well, Terri was quite the hottie back then, so I’ll give them credit.

Goldust continues to work the knee, and slaps on a figure 4. The commentators talk about the wear on tear on these guys since they are in the Rumble later on. JR gives a sensible insight into the fact that each man could draw a late number in the Rumble. Ross was superb back in these days. Vince was the presenter and held everything together, and basically called upon King for heel commentary and JR for babyface analysis. It worked nicely.

Goldie audibly calls Hunter a ‘piece of shit’ drawing a cheer, and once again uses the steps. Still no DQ.

Triple H gains control, but the ref stops him using the director’s chair, for some reason. In the crowd, Pettingill interviews a country singer who I don’t know, and it seems by this point they’ve sent him out into the crowd to stop him bothering Vince. He’s also grown a goatee. Maybe he was Coach Mark One.

Goldust regains control, but misses a top rope elbow. Hughes throws the IC belt to Triple H, who kisses Marlena and swings at Goldie. He misses, and Goldust hits the belt shot. Hughes pulls Hunter to the outside during the pinfall attempt, and Goldust puts out Marlena’s cigar on Hughes neck. Goldust turns into a clothesline and then a Pedigree. Even then it was a move that no-one dared move after receiving. Except the Warrior. But we don’t talk about him, do we.

Helmsley wins and leaves with Hughes. Hunter’s face is covered in lipstick after his kiss with Marlena. So much so he looks like a man in drag. Although these days he has bigger breasts.

Next up in Ahmed Johnson v Farooq.

It is easy to forget just how over Ahmed was. Since we saw him beating Jeff Jarrett by DQ the year previous, he had a brief IC title run, but feuded with Farooq (Ron Simmons) during the time where he had legit Kidney trouble. This was inserted into the storyline, and this was their first meeting, back in the day when people could feud for some time before having a PPV encounter. See, we don’t have that anymore. The occasionally liver enzyme issue, but that’s it.

Simmons is accompanied by members of his Nation of Domination, which was a thinly veiled rip off of a Black Panther-like movement. Although one with a tough guy enforcer who is white (Crush) and two white rappers. The ring is surrounded by gentlemen in suits acting as back up, including an at-that-point unnamed D-Lo Brown.

This match, like the first features action whereby there should be disqualifications. Chairshots, choking, belt whipping. But no bell is rung. Farooq has the upper hand with the story being that they eventually get to grips with Johnson’s kidney and wear him down.

The match is far from a classic. Very stop start match, and in fact is stop – for good – when Ahmed hits a spinebuster and Farooq instructs his followers to attack. Ahmed holds them off while Simmons slinks away. When Ahmed follows, he is attacked by an unnamed ‘nation member’ (not D-Lo), and Ahmed stalks this guy, grabs him and eventually Powerbombs him through the French announce table.

And that’s it. Very uninspiring stuff and the post match interview with Simmons is basically uninspiring. Yeah, stick to, ‘Damn’ in future.

Vader is next out, and we are told that he is not accompanied by Jim Cornette because Undertaker Tombstoned him on Superstars. JR wonders if Vader is a free agent. Not a planted line at all.

Taker follows to a huge ovation, and its circa 1997 leather trenchcoat, tear on the face Taker, as opposed to the undead zombie Taker, Satanic Taker or American Bad Ass Taker.

Taker gets to the corner but the lighting guys are not on the ball, as he does the arm raising but the lights don’t come on. JR talks about Undertaker giving away weight ‘unusually’ although in the previous few years on PPV taker had fought Kamala, Yokozuna, King Kong Bundy, Mabel and Giant Gonzales.

Vader had been around for a year at this point, but he was never built up as he could have been, and the way he looks shit-scared of Taker here is exactly why he never took off as a character. The chest-beating monster from the Ricky Mountains should have taken it to Undertaker and shown no fear. He could then have been a monster heel and it wouldn’t have taken anything away from Taker.

The opening exchanges of this are all Taker. Occasionally Vader gets a move in but Taker just does his sit up and Vader wusses out. Vader eventually takes control but we go to Todd who is the crowd with a teenage female fan. Not of his, obviously. She says he follows Shawn Michaels everywhere she goes (that’s a stalker, not a fan) and that she saved up the money by babysitting.

King gets annoyed about the fact that we had a boring segment about babysitting rather than watching Vader kick ass, and I think that was quite a genuine statement. JR does another cracking insight (I really am not being sarcastic) when he talks about the absence of Cornette, making mention of the fact that the referee (Jack Doan) was attacked by Vader ‘early last year’. JR is using continuity from nearly a year ago!

Vader powerbombs Undertaker eventually, but Taker no-sells it and starts a comeback. Old School, Chokeslam......but Paul Bearer, at this stage estranged from Taker approaches ring side. Taker throws Vader outside and goes to get Bearer. Right hand, then throws Bearer inside. He blocks a Vader attack, and they all end up outside again.

Taker sets up Vader in front of the frenchies who have a new table. But he misses a dive onto the railings after Bearer pulls Vader aside. Vader distracts the ref in the ring while Bearer strikes Taker with the urn.

Vader slides Taker in, and lands the Vaderbomb. Vader wins and leaves with Bearer. Taker, being a clean babyface, chokeslams the ref. Man, Doan couldn’t get a break then. I sort of forgive him now for being given all those divas matches where Stacy and Torrie rolled all over him.

Taker destroys some of the surrounds of the ring, and storms off. Another slow match, and so far we are no exactly cooking.

Next up is a special feature of six Mexican superstars, namely Jerry Estrada, Fuerza Guerrera & Heavy Metal v Perro Aguayo, Canek and Hector Garza.

The problem is that it would be all very well having a showcase match full of high-flying incidents as a basic spotfest. However, at this point, all the high-flying lucha guys were in WCW, so this is basically the leftovers. There is a nice exchange between Heavy Metal and Hector Garza, who had more success in the US that anyone else in match, with stints in WCW and TNA, but much of this is very ordinary fare, with JR trying desperately to hold it together on the commentary. Meanwhile the crowd are distinctly dead.

They gave over ten minutes to this fiasco, and it ended with a double stomp from Aguayo, which missed. Aguayo looked about 70, running around the ring, and my favourite spot was when he ran the ropes, got to the other side, stopped, climbed through the ropes then jumped onto (he missed) a guy on the outside. And apparently this guy is an absolute legend in Mexico.

Anyway, after that debacle, it’s onto the main spectacle, if not the main event. If you see what I mean. The Royal Rumble is possibly the most beloved match of the year, and after Fink does the rules the Nation of Domination music hits.

After initial speculation that it’s Farooq, we see that it is Crush. Crush looks distinctly annoyed to see that Ahmed Johnson is number two. A brawl breaks out and after 90 (ish) seconds out comes another guy. The clock is broken and there is no music, but this guy wouldn’t have a got a reaction anyway. It’s “Razor Ramon” except of course it isn’t, its Rick Bogner pretending to be Scott Hall, after a distinctly lame-ass gimmick whereby JR tried to claim that Diesel and Razor were back, except that it was two lookalikes. Who didn’t look like Nash and Hall.

He doesn’t last long, thrown by Ahmed, but Johnson soon eliminates himself, jumping over the top rope to chase Farooq who had snuck up to ringside.

Number four would be Phineas Godwinn, later to be known as Mideon, and shortly following him is a sound of breaking glass, and it’s a chap by the name of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He has a smattering of cheers, but he is a heel at this point, having lost to Bret Hart at the previous Survivor Series.

Crush holds Phineas for Austin, who comes off the second rope for a clothesline. He misses, hitting Crush, allowing Phineas to throw Crush out. Austin hits Phineas with a stunner, and removes him. Bart Gunn is next, but lasts a very short time.

Next is Jake Roberts, and a rematch from the King of the Ring final the year before, on the day that Austin first said the infamous 3:16 line. Austin comically preys before Jake gets there, and the two lock up.

Perhaps the aging Jake was a little off the pace here, because eventually he gets backdropped out of the ring, but does so while the British Bulldog is emerging as the next entrant. At this point Bulldog and Austin were at odds, with both men tweeners of sorts. Bulldog was poised to break up with his tag partner Owen Hart and Austin getting cheered increasingly.

They fight for the 90 seconds with Bulldog largely on top, and are joined by the number 9 entry Pierroth, again a Mexican import brought in for this match. There will be more to come.

GIMMICK ALERT NO.1 – Rikishi, dah, I mean Junior Fatu, dah, I mean The Sultan is on his way to the ring at 10, complete with pointy toes and face mask.

And speaking of masks, the man of a thousand masks is in, as yet another Mexican import for this Royal Rumble, although Mil Mascaras is a bit more a household name, and a huge star in Mexico. Don’t forget this Rumble in San Antonio is very close to the Mexican border, so the big crowd will have a large Hispanic element.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, sans Mr Hughes, is next, slightly selling the leg injury he picked up in the Goldust match earlier in the evening. Bulldog clotheslines The Sultan to eliminate him.

On the way to the back Sultkishi passes Owen Hart on his way to the ring, where he instantly takes on Austin. When Stone Cold gets the upper hand Owen tag partner and brother in law Davey Boy helps him, but while Bulldog tries to oust Austin, Owen decides to undercut his brother in law. As I recall, they never did follow through with the Owen and Bulldog break up, although they teased it for a while. When Bret reformed the Hart Foundation their differences were patched up.

Goldust is next, and is followed by Cibernetico, another Mexican, who goes straight for Mascaras. I know we knock the modern product, but frankly I’m happy to have Mysterio, Guererro and so forth rather than this mob.

Marc Mero is on his way next. Hilariously, Jerry says “here comes trouble” and Vince quips “Yeah, Sable” and laughs. Oh if only you knew, ’97 Vince.

In a fantasic piece of countrymen sticking together, Cibernetico is eliminated by Mascaras and Pierroth, before the latter is thrown out by the former. Then, the experienced Mascaras, like a tool, does a plancha onto Pierroth. Yes, over the top. So they are all gone now.

Goldust clotheslines Helmsley out, and gets into with Mero, as Latin Lover, the last of the Latin entrants. Owen clumsily botches throwing Goldie out, before having to do it with a simple shot to the back. Farooq is next, and quickly gets rid of Latin Lover, but soon Ahmed is back, and has a 2x4 which makes Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s look like a pencil.

Simmons comically looks for a way out of the ring (try through the dopes. Damn!) but Ahmed unloads with devastating shots (and when I say devastating I mean not really connecting) and Farooq is gone.

The camera then sensibly watches Farooq leaving along with his Nation cronies, thus missing Austin eliminating both Mero and Owen.

Austin is back on his own again. Next to face him is Savio Vega, and to be fair the booking is sound here because in this match they have given Austin Jake, Bulldog and Savio, all of whom he had a history with. Savio is gone before the 90 seconds is up, and next is “Double J” Jesse James, who was of course the Road Dogg later on. Here he is just a jobber though, so Stone Cold slings him quickly.

Austin sits on the turnbuckle to indicate that he has a lot of time, but next up is Bret, with Austin doing a terrific facial to show fear. Bret dominates a tiring Austin, and slaps him in the sharpshooter. King’s music goes and Lawler is a shock entry. He says “it takes a King” and drops his headsets. Bret releases the Sharpshooter and hits Lawler with two right hands. The second puts King over the top. Lawler returns to the commentary booth to complete his sentence “to know a King, McMahon”. As the match progressed he would continue with a short-term amnesiac gimmick pretending he didn’t know he wa sin the match. Exciting.

King almost forgets he isn’t allowe to use certain words as the next entrant arrives. It is “Diesel” who is actually Kane who is actually Isaac Yankem who is actually Glen Jacobs. King calls for ‘Big Daddy Cool’ to “Murde....lize him”realising he isn’t allowed to say murder on family friendly WWE.

Terry Funk doesn’t have any music despite being a ‘Texas legend’ according to Vince. I love the irony that two supposed babyfaces in the ring right now are Funk and Bret, who Vince is putting over. The two hate the guy now. Gratitude for you.

Vince goes into ultra-hype mode next as Rocky Maivia – yes, The Rock – is entry 25. He goes straight for Austin and you wouldn’t know at this point that these two would carry the company for the next 5 years.

Mankind is next, and the audible gasp from the audience and commentating team show you just what a good character Mankind was to begin with. Foley and Funk would spend much of the ensuing match beating the shit out of each other, seemingly for real.

Flash Funk (no relation to Terry, unless they do a future Dudley’s gimmick) is next and isn’t Too Cold Scorpio who isn’t related to Stone Cold whose real name is Steve Williams who isn’t related to Dr. Death who isn’t a doctor. Clear?

Bret piledrives Stone Cold, and if only Owen was taking notes at this point, Austin might still be wrestling now.

Vader is next, and the legitimate contenders to win are appearing. We see a cool visual of Mankind choking the life out of Terry, as Vader comes in to batter Bret then squash Austin.

29 is Mark Canterbury looking legitimately tough even with a shitty Hog farmer gimmick. He takes it straight to Vader, knocking him down. Perhaps the highlight of his career.

Next comes 30, predictably, and its The Undertaker. Vince announces him as the winner of the 1997 Royal Rumble before he enters the ring. Ten years out, Vinny Boy.

Vader eliminates Flash Funk with a pretty cool fall away slam to the outside, and after they all battle for a few minutes, Godwinn is slung out. Look at who is left in the ring, and although at the time they mightn’t all have been legendary, think of the star power now:

Bret Hart, The Undertaker, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Vader, Kane, Terry Funk and Vader all in the same ring. That’s pretty cool.

From here the match is decent. I know this is 11 years ago, but I remember this being a match where you got to this stage and genuinely had no idea who would win.

Every now and again the commentators are quiet and all you can hear is Mick doing his weird noises as Mankind. Damn I loved that character. Did I mention that? Oh, I did. Did I mention he personalised a shirt of mine and gave me a hokey thumbs up. Well he did. I’ll tell you about it sometime.

Foley uses the Mandible claw to eliminate Rocky, then suplexes Funk out. Shortly after thing Taker boots Foley out, and he and the Funker depart still knocking the hell out of one another. But this is a ploy. The referees are watching the Funk/Foley brawl, so miss Bret throw Austin the hell out.

Austin sneaks back in having avoided being seen, and pushes Taker and Vader out. As Bret gets rid of ‘Diesel’ on the other side, Austin then pushes Bret over and that’s your lot. Austin wins despite being eliminated, but even though that sounds bogus, it was a really creative ending.

Bret loses it and knocks a couple of refs down before going to the outside to threaten Vince. They were just beginning to recognise Vince as the owner at this stage, and his position would increasingly affect storylines from now on.

Austin wasn’t in the main event at Mania, but he was in the best match, where he took on Bret Hart in a genuine classic. The belt would switch through various wrestlers. From here, the next In Your House event would be named as Final Four, where Bret, Undertaker and Vader took on Austin for the vacant title. Without giving away the winner of the upcoming title match, erm............well it was vacant because “someone” got “injured” and “lost their smile”. I knew that quote mark key would come in good use here.

Anyway, Bret would go on to win at Final Four, but Sid would win it back, before dropping it to Taker at Mania, through interference from Bret who beat Austin. I am doing this deliberately, so don’t worry about feeling confused, however it goes to show how much they hotshotted the belt at that time.

I’ve written all that stuff since the end of the actual Rumble match, and that took the time that Michaels did to get to the ring. Good God it took ages. Obviously he is considerably over in his home town, and although Sid has his supporters when he emerges, he is largely booed. I never rated Sid in the ring, but I loved his character at this time, because he really looked as though he could destroy you.

The story here was that Shawn was champion after beating Bret at Wrestlemania, but lost to Sid the previous Survivor Series, when Sid displayed increasingly heel attributes but was cheered anyway. The tide was turning even before Austin’s antihero took off.

So on the night of HBK’s rematch, he apparently has flu, and this is supposedly legit, but since this is Michaels we are talking about, even the boys never knew if he was being genuine, so we’ll call it kayfabe.

Sid dictates much of the early match, and although Shawn has the odd flurry, the Vicious one has the advantage. He plays up to the crowd fantastically, eliminated the remnant cheers he is receiving. Lots of restholds here, probably for the benefit of both Michaels and Sid.

Michaels has Jose Lothario, his mentor (I don’t think babyfaces are supposed to have managers) in his corner, although Jose has Shawn’s cowboy hat on – because Mexicans and Cowboys get on like a house on fire. Or set each others houses on fire, something like that. Jose’s son Pete is also at ringside, after having been put through a table earlier in the month. Just because.

More mini comebacks from Shawn, with decreaing gaps between them, and to be fair the crowdare just eating this up. I don’t know whether the Rumble was placed in San Antonio before or after Survivor Series, but after the MSG crowd shit all over Michaels, he benefited greatly from being in his home town here.

Michaels looks like having done enough to take control, but we cut to the outside and Sid powerbombs Michaels on the floor. He grabs Jose by the throat, and then grabs Pete as he attacks. Sid even manages a kick for Tony Garea, the WWE official trying to break it up.

Back inside a ref bump gets rid of Hebner, an Sid hits a chokeslam which Vince calls as a Goozle – I don’t think I’ve heard anyone by Tazz call this as a Goozle. That should be a wrestling move search engine in my opinion.

Ref down, so a visual fall gets nothing, and as another officials comes down Michaels kicks out. Sid pie faces the new ref in a nonsensical move which even JR calls stupid, and Jose jumps onto the apron. Now, I should point out that Sid hit Jose with a camera at MSG, causing Michaels to be more worried about his mentor than the match, and earning him scorn by New Yorkers for being caring and a camera shot into the bargain.

Here, as Jose distracted Sid, Michaels grabbed a camera and levelled the big man with two weak looking shots. Oh-So-Slow count gets 2, but a Superkick earns the victory.

Far from a classic, but a story well told, with the right ending and if Michaels really was struggling – which to be fair he probably was. I mean the guy was a snake back then but he was always been an awesome worker. If he had have been well he’d have been flying all over the place here – it was a creditable performance.

A mixed PPV. A series of average to very poor matches preceded perhaps the best Rumble match there had been at that point, and a decent main event.

It is a very significant PPV as it showed the evolution of the whining Bret character, the advancement to Stone Cold’ s persona, and as far as our trip through Rumble history goes, a very significant milestone. Just wait until you see how different next year is.

Raw 15th Anniversary: was I supposed to bring a gift?

We open Raw with an amalgamation of all the previous theme music and opening graphics.

Vince over-eggs the power walk pudding followed by Shane and Steph. No Linda though. Matching colours and everything.

“welcome everyone to Monday Night Raw” in patented Vince style. He says that Linda has a gastro intestinal infection. Vince calls in the photographer but is interrupted by Hornswaggle to a surprisingly big pop. “Hornswaggle” chant as he hugs his Dad’s leg.

Vince tells Shane and Steph he loves them. He dismissively says it to Honry as well. But then he loves all of us too.

Vince wants the family to say “Monday” on three. 1..........2...........

Time to play the Game.

Triple H interrupts to a major pop and “Triple H” chant. He tells us that the fans are smart, they know what’s going on, he feels part of the family. “Sup Steph” he adds.

Trips wants to bring out the people that Vince has “loved” – starting he says, with someone representing the current crop of divas. Melina. “I did not have sex with that Women” “whatever, Clinton”

Representing the past, the original Diva Sunny. And she looks hot! Horny hugs and gets himself some.

Next up is Mae Young. I struggle to pay attention to this, I’m still thinking about Sunny.

Mae avoids Horny, but dry humps Vince, before Melina, Sunny and Trips pull her off. Vince says it was at Moolah’s funeral and had had a lot to drink. At this point, Shane can’t take any more. He’s outta here. Vince tells Steph that he was thinking of her Mom. Trips tell Vince that “anyone can do the pretty ones”
Trips asks any employee that may have been mistaken as a women to come out.

Cue Finkel, Big Dick Johnson, Brisco, Patterson, Bastion Booger and Knuckleball Swartz (thats Lombardi) – they enter to Vince singing at the Slammys.

Trips introduces all of them, but stops at Knuckleball. He asks who he is, and Scwartz tells him. Trips says that Brooklyn Brawler must be busy.

Steph tells Vince that he has embarrassed them enough, and she will embarrass him. She kisses Triple H passionately. He says “see you at home”

Vince say “I hate you” and storms off. Triple H apologises to Hornswaggle, and says if only there was someone who could make him happy just by the sound of his music. Cue the Godfather, with about a dozen hos. Great line from JR “King, I think I see your new ex-wife”

Err, interesting opening segment.

After a break is the Ladder match for the IC title.

Quick, back and forth opening, and Jeff eventually dropkicks Carlito from the apron onto a (hopefully gimmicked) ladder. Jeff Begins to climb, then Carlito Springboards from the ropes to the ladder, hits Hardy with a couple of punches, then sunset flips, over the ladder, over Jeff and hits a modified powerbomb. “Holy Shit” chants take us to commercial..........

We come back to find Carlito down, ladder in the corner. Jeff climbs to the top, vaults the ladder, but misses the attempted legdrop.

Carlito traps a Hardy leg in the ladder and stomps it. He fetches another ladder and drops it on the first, still containing Jeff’s leg. He then stacks both ladders, and slams Jeff onto the ladders, leg first.

Carly begins to climb a ladder, but Jeff is up. He beats Carly off it, but Carlito is back on top, setting up the ladder in the corner. Jeff is really selling the leg and Carlito lays him on the ladder. As Carly runs in, Jeff counters and back drops Carlito into the ladder. Very stiff.

Jeff hits a swanton. Well, I think he was supposed to hit it. He didn’t get much. JR calls the hit but Lawler tries to cover. Jeff climbs, Carlito pulls him off. Jeff goes for a Twist of Fate, but Carly counters into a Backstabber on the ladder. Both men climb, Carlito gets one hand on the gold, but Jeff pushes him off, onto the ropes. Jeff takes the belt and wins one of the best Raw matches of 2007

Things to take from the match – Jeff sold a leg injury big time, so don’t be surprised to see this play a part in him losing to Triple H, but having an excuse. Also, Carlito sold like a madman and took some crazy bumps. That looked like a display to prove his worth to the company to me.

Grisham talks to Heartbreak Mountain, Shawn Michaels, w/ extra white teeth. Michaels says that he can’t remember what he was doing 15 years ago because it’s a little sketchy. He says that Mr Kennedy-Kennedy (that’s what he called him)did something last week which was not a Raw highlight, but if he couldn’t interact with the fake Marty Jannetty, what will he do with the real one?

Jannetty then jumps into shot, thanks Shawn for inviting him (I think), challenges Kennedy (I think) and then says he has to go get ready (I think). To be honest, I couldn’t understand much, but its Ken Kenndy v Marty Jannetty later tonight...............I think.

Next follows a pretty cool compilation of some great Raw moments. Too many for me to recap, but it was pretty slick, with some moments I had forgotten.

Santino now in the ring with Maria. He says that he is the future and has issued an open challenge to anyone. The man who answers is.............

RVD. No seriously. To begin with, I couldn’t remember the theme music, and when I recalled it, it took an eternity for the man himself to show up. But he did, and he wiped out Marella in about 30 seconds after a frog splash. I have no idea if this means RVD is back for good, but man was it god to see him. Wish it had have been for longer.

More commercials, but before that an Evolution teaser airs. They will be reuniting after the break.

Evolution are on their way out, led by Ric Flair, but he is in his gear. Ric would wear an expensive suit for a reunion, wouldn’t he? Trips follows, and both so far are wearing Evolution shirts. Flair and Trips shake hands, followed by Trips water spit. Thats still gross, I don’t care what anyone says.

Next out is Batista, also in an Evolution jersey to a lukewarm pop. Not so many Smackdown viewers in, then. Hug for Flair, and hug for Trips. Screw continuity.

And now here is Orton. No Evolution shirt for him, as King says. Orton disassociates himself from the others, cutting a promo from the top of the ramp. Orton cues VT after he won the title but got dropped by the other three.

Verbal jousting follows, and Orton says that he doesn’t want to be remembered for Evolution, but for Rated RKO with this man. Edge comes out. Batista tells him to bring it to the ring, and Flair challenges them to find another partner. Orton says he thought Ric would say that, and introduces their partner, Umaga. Guess we now know why they were on the gear – dah, I mean in their gear.

After break the match is underway. Flair and Edge tangle, as King tells us that if Flair’s team loses that doesn’t mean he has to retire. That stip is only for singles matches. Umaga tags in and applies a nerve hold, and Ric...........yawns? I don’t think that was meant to look like a yawn, more a cry in pain, but it was funny. It is late for a man of Ric’s age to still be up though.

Trips and Batista eventually hit the ring to hit stereo spinebusters on Orton and Edge. Umaga enters, knocks down the ref and we have a DQ. Orton and Edge bail, and Umaga gets a ball shot from Naitch, Spear from Big Dave, and a Pedigree from the Game. Evolution stand tall as we see Jeff Hardy applying ice backstage.

More flashbacks. This time all the memories are entitled “road rage”. Damn, the WWE have spent a fortune hiring and wrecking vehicles over the years.

Backstage, we see Hornswaggle bothering Mickie James and a slimmed down (so slimmed down I wasn’t sure it was her until Regal mentioned her name) Molly Holly, until RAW GM pulls him away and books him in a rematch with Khali. And Finlay got his ticket from Ireland cancelled by sheer misfortune. So Hornswaggle will be saved, but by whom.................?

Now let me tell you who, brother. No time at all into the match, and the Hulkster (in nWo black and white, not red and yellow) is out to face the man who he should have faced at Mania. Khali nails a few blows, but Hogan Hulks up. Hogan hits Khali to the outside, and then hits an Asai Moonsault on Khali.

Just kidding, but he does shake Hornswaggle’s hand, and basically the leprechaun is the new Eugene. Hogan pimps WWE as the greatest company in the world, and says there is nothing better than being in the ring. He also plugs the new superstars, and says never say never......but does a Savage impression. Odd.

He pimps American Gladiators, and does a few poses with Hornswaggle. Always cool to have Hogan back – I think we’ll see him at Mania.

A package of old and newer DX moments airs and reminds me how very one dimensional their humour is. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they are funny, but you need to be in the right mood.

Yay, Fink is in the ring. He is introducing a 15 man battle royal. Is that what everybody wants? Well here is Al Snow. Followed by Bart Gunn, and did you expect to get through the evening without seeing Doink.

And Barry Darsow is here, with mask and without hair, as the Repo Man. Next is Steve Blackman, who looks exactly the same. Pete Gas is next, from the Posse. Hey, and Mr Backlund! TNA rejects now?

After just seven entrants, it’s an advert break again. Dammit, that means I’ll have to do some fast recapping after the break. Who the hell is going to be so uninteresting that Bart Gunn got higher billing?
Well, we are back, and we now have (wait for it) Gangrel on his way, with Skinner, The Goon, IRS and Flash Funk. I make that 12.

Scotty 2 Hotty is next, followed by the Anvil! Yes, the WWE does have a Hart. Well, a Neidhart. Anorexic Sarge is next. You didn’t think we’d get through the without Slaughter did you?

Next, we are backstage, and its a familiar knock on the door. Followed by the menacing walk to the ring complete with pyro (of a sort) Yes, its Gillberg.

Well, he didn’t last long, and is eliminated, closely followed by Backlund. Doink is slung by Al Snow, who then ousts Gangrel. The Snowman is then sent flying by Flash Funk, before Pete Gas goes. Bart Gunn is gone too, before Funk and Blackman eliminate each other. Repo throws Goon and we down to six.

Neidhart gets rid of Goon, but is done in by Skinner. Four left and three still work for WWE.

Scotty counters an IRS briefcase, and Worms Irwin. Skinner slings Scotty, but walks into a Cobra Clutch. Keirn charges Sarge and is thrown out, but IRS ousts Slaugher. IRS celebrates and is joined by......Ted DiBiase! The Million Dollar Man joins his old partner mid ring for a Money Inc reunion.

No wait, it’s a ruse. Ted gives Irwin a couple of bucks. IRS puts it in his briefcase and hops over the top rope. Seems Ted bought the win. He gives the old “Everyone’s got a price” line, and his trademark laugh. I’m not sure how many in the audience got the reference, mind you.

After a montage of people slapping others (mostly McMahons, it has to be said) we see Eric Bischoff strolling backstage. Seems we are going to see who kicked the show we are watching’s ass 86 straight weeks.

Eric, now very Grey, talks to us about how much it means to him to be back on Raw. He gets very emotional, but soon turns on the people. He wants them to stand and give him a round of applause, but is interrupted. Seems someone will Save Us.

Jericho seems happy to confront his old boss. Who, by the way, fired Jericho a couple of years ago. Fairly uninspired promo leads to Jericho eventually smacking Bischoff in the face, and before he can apply the Walls, Orton is out. Jericho cuts him of, and applies the Liontamer to the champ, getting a visual tap-out. You know what, that was the champion and the number one contender, a segment basically aimed at hyping Sunday’s main event – and it’s the weakest on the show so far.

Hang on a minute. Another advert break, and that’s like the 6th advert for SatNav during the show. Why do they think wrestling fans have a poor sense of direction?

JR asks us how we can have 15th anniversary celebration without the American Dream? Err, how about because he has been on about 6 episodes out of the 750-odd? I think Tekno Team 2000 and Well Dunn were on more than that.

Cody Rhodes (ah, that’s why Dusty is here) and Hardcore Holly are here for a Tag Title match with Cade and Murdoch. Dream says that he is proud to “stand in this very ring” – when he is sat down outside.

And, bah gawd, Cody and Bob take the straps. I’d say they’ll lose them back on Sunday, and that this match was basically a squash, doing very little for C&M. Bit weak, frankly.

Anyway, The Merkin Dream celebrates with Cody and Bob..........well, with Cody, and we have a package about celebrities that have featured on Raw.

After the break, we get a Divas package, and afterwards it’s Jillian, in the ring to sing “Twelve days of Christmas.” She gets to day two, before Trish Stratus interrupts. JR calls her Canada’s finest export to Raw. Definitely no Bret, then.

Trish says hi to a view people, then runs down Jillian’s singing. Trish is now pencil thin, and as Jillian verbally retaliates, Lita interjects. Jillian urges Lita to hit Trish, but Lita rounds on Jillian too, slating her voice. Jillian sings again, but gets a beatdown, which is made all the better by the microphone she is wearing. You know, Jillian is a fantastic heel.

Next up we have a montage of some of the alleged funniest moments ever, without actually including any more than 2 funny ones. I’ll give them Foley catching Rocky with the “it doesn’t matter” line, and anything Edge and Christian was reeking of awesomeness, but where was Jericho’s original debut? Where was Kane’s impression of Hogan and Rock? Where was the Dating Game? Where was anything involving Regal with Tajiri?

Next we have a package of Raw weddings, which is being viewed backstage by Lita. She is joined by Kane, and they exchange a few difficult seconds before Simmons delivers his obligatory gimmick line. Man, that would have been cooler if Matt and Edge would have joined the picture.

Kennedy is out here next, ready to face Marty Jannetty. Marty emerges and some of the kids in the audience think that Billy Kidman has had a breakdown, before their older brothers and uncles explain that Marty have more talent in his little finger than many folk have in their entire career.

Anyway, a reasonably dull match ensues, with Marty telegraphing everything so much that Kennedy has time to hit the ropes, call down his mic, do a 20 minute promo, run down Scott Hall, shill some HBK merchandise, verbally joust with the King, run down Scott Hall again, and replace the microphone before countering.

Anyway, Marty manfully battles on, but Ken ultimately wins, and beats down Marty post match, before HBK makes the save. Kennedy, though, regains the upper hand, before being interrupted by The Game.

Seems like we get a DX reunion for the first time in, what? 4 weeks?

Vince needs to come through to save this show, because it’s flagging after a great start. He is in the ring, and is about to reveal the greatest Raw superstar of all time.

And, shock of shocks, he reads out “Vincent Kennedy McMahon”. Ooh, didn’t see that coming. Screeching tyres signal Mick Foley arrived......wait, no, it s Mankind. Mick has the dirty suit, mask and sock combo going on, and as Vince tries to get rid of him, he receives a Socko Claw.

BONG! Foley hightails it as he hears the music of The Undertaker, who does the full entrance towards the Chairman. And then...........chokeslam. Pretty sloppy one too.

Austin arrives next, with Vince still flat out Steve gets on the stick to praise Raw. He gets a couple of beers, and waits for Vince to get up to share one, before applying the Stunner. Austin then says that the greatest stars on Raw are the fans.

H e then invites everyone else down, and the back empties to join Austin. Seriously, a weak ending to what started off as a fantastic show and petered out to very little.

I don’t know whether I enjoyed this show or not. I'll tell you soon.

Sportz entertainment is here to stay!

Wrestlemania 23 last night from Detroit was an event which will not have pleased the traditionalist, but for newer fans of the genre, and those enjoy a great story told and a rollercoaster ride, then last night 4-hour cruise in the Motor City was up your street.

And pour moi, a fairly respectable 5 out of 8 on the predictions front. Let’s take a look.

We kick off with Rikishi singing “America the Beautiful”. Shouldn’t he have done “Samoa the Wonderful” or something? Ok it was Aretha Franklin, but it was the spit of when The Big Kish dressed up as a woman for the Stephanie/Bischoff HLA spot a few years back. (and if you see that reference elsewhere, I swear I told my Sun colleague Simon that one!)

The announcers are all introduced, and I thought it was a nice touch by Joey Styles and Tazz to mention JR and Lawler’s Hall of Fame induction, but little would they know by the end of the night ECW announcer are the NEW Spanish broadcast team.

A brave move to go with the Money in the Bank to open the show, and I do feel it was an error to have so many people involved. Don’t get me wrong, the match was excellent, and with a legacy of Ladder matches and TLCs at Wrestlemania, this had some tough acts to follow, but I felt that by having 8 men involved, when a spot for two men had to be done, it felt a bit tacked on that 6 blokes were down injured to allow it to happen.

CM Punk does the swinging ladder spot – its CM FUNK!!

Obviously the biggest talking point will be the Bombs Away splash that Jeff Hardy did onto Edge, and if that was all gimmicked, then it was a truly awesome spot. I want to think that both guys are fine, that the ladder was built to break and that it was a spot to build to a feud. I spy an Edge interview where he blames Jeff Hardy for not getting a title shot, that Jeff could have taken the gold but would rather try to kill Edge. It might take Edge to spur the clearly talented but lethargic Jeff hardy to a series of good encounters.

Anyway, prediction 1 comes in. There are big things in Ken Kennedy’s future. He can do the business in the ring, has a terrific look and cuts a mean promo. Although if he does the Money in the Bank……….bank tag line too much it might start to sound like an intense episode of The Weakest Link.

Predictions: 1-0

Kane v The Great Khali was, as expected a slow, run of the mill affair. Mercifully, it was fairly short, and since I was expecting very little my expectations were met. I have no idea where they are going with Khali – who can he possibly feud with. They have done the Taker and Kane feuds, Show is gone, and he stinks up the place. The only way he can get worse is if they feud him with Chris Masters.

Anyhoo, I said Khali would win, so that’s another for me.

Predictions: 2-0

We hit the backstage area for a fun backstage nostalgia spot, involving Cryme Tyme talking to Eugene, cheering him up with the ECW expose dancers, who were then joined by Moolah and Mae Young. Oh dear. Anyway, The Doctor of Style, Slick, made a reappearance, as did Jimmy Hart, IRS, Sgt. Slaughter, Brisco, Patterson, Steamboat (major pop) The Dream, and then Simmons………….damn! Fun spot needed after Kane-Khali put all to sleep.

Next up was MVP v Benoit, with little build up or excitement, but MVP came up with the best performance of his short WWE career in my opinion, and a neat little technical battle, with psychology followed through because Benoit couldn’t beat him with the crossface due to his injured arm. MVP’s stock raised, but my first prediction failure.

I’d love to know who put this match together, as in which agents, or whether it was just the combatant, because it was very nicely worked. MVP wrestled terrifically here, but he has an awful gimmick. Ditch that and he could go places.

Predictions: 2-1

Clip from the Hall of Fame Ceremony, and it shows that Howard Finkel is more over than MVP.

Backstage Donald Trump is visited by the Boogeyman and no-sells him. Elsewhere, The Big Show smiles and Jim Cornette hits a trainee. (For the lawyers reading, no he didn’t – actually I love James E, so don’t take me seriously)

The World title match is here, and a poll shows Undertaker is expected to win by more than 80% of the audience. My Sun colleague Simon, who is in the building, describes Batista as having a ‘doing the job’ face. Quelle Surprise.

I think Undertaker’s entrance was longer than the whole Women’s title match later in the evening.

JBL shows what a great Colour guy he is, and UT takes the stairs spot as only he can. Some steady brawling here, but big spots hit, and OH MY GOD, Joey Styles and Tazz have to scram as their table is smashed – told you J

This tells you the nature of a character being over: The Undertaker is receiving enormous reaction on every punch. Yes, punches are the most over thing of the night, that is how great Taker is.

Taker kicks out of the Batista Bomb, and big Dave is DEAD after the Tombstone.

Typical Deadman celebration, and I spot a fan with a whiteboard saying 15-0. What a great idea! A whiteboard to wipe off and create new signs on the fly! Well done that man.

Anyway, I said taker to win, so 3-1 at half-time.

Predictions: 3-1

Backstage we go again, and Mystic Mack has struck – did I or did I not say pre-Mania Stephanie would appear. Well she does, and it seems that she has given birth to a CAMERA. Gynecologists unite in shock, as they thought WWE females only gave birth to styrofoam hands.

ECW New Breed v Originals now, and its concessions time in the arena, as a boring match leads to RVD getting a pin to delight or enthusiasm of no-one, including himself. I feels sorry for Tommy Dreamer, as he seems to genuinely love doing what he is doing, but the rest dial it in. I get another one wrong.

How pale is Kevin Thorn? From now on, with his Vampire tendencies, I will now refer to him as White Fang.

Predictions: 3-2

The Hitman is on PPV!! OK, it was Thomas Hearns and no Bret Hart, but even so……….

From the quartets to the Barbershop, and what is undoubtedly the best story of the evening. Lashley and Umaga do a decent job, with The Bulldozer even doing in the inside-out flip like his old man, who is now resting after his America the Beautiful effort. But the interest is on Austin and the Billionaires. Ref bump (on Austin!) leads to Shane’s intervention. He and Umaga double team Lashley, Shane hits a Van Terminator before Austin recovers to nail Shane-O-Mac, Trump spears McMahon (GORE! Gore by Trump!) and Austin drops a stunner on Umaga.

The chair comes in, and McMahon does the facial expressions only he can, and the three faces get to work shaving Vinny Mac’s bonce.

And then to cap it off, after downing beers with Austin and Lashley, Trump eats a Stunner. Great stuff all round.

Predicitions: 4-2

Out come the ladies, and lumberjills surround the ring. It is suggested on commentary that Ashley, playboy covergirls, if you haven’t heard, it one of the sexiest women on earth. This despite evidence to the contrary, as she isn’t even one of the sexiest girls around that ring. I’ll take Torrie, Candice, Maria, Brooke, Layla, Kelly and the lovely Mickie James any day of the week. In fact there are seven there, I’ll have one a day for a week.

Melina wins a match which makes Kane/Khali look like Flair v Steamboat. Boring and pointless, and the girls all have a scrap at the end for the hell of it. It looked like a hen night in Blackpool.

Predictions 4-3

HBK v Cena round the night off, and there is no doubt that Cena is the biggest player WWE have had since Rock and Austin retired. I don’t care if some cheer and some boo. Its better they do that than do nothing. Everything he does has some reaction.

However, this match started incredibly slowly, and I feared the worst especially when it looked to me as though HBK genuinely hurt his knee doing a springboard moonsault onto the announce table. (By the way, he did that spot two years ago, but he couldn’t perform the whole moonsault, more a spinning cross-body. Shows that the guy is in great shape) It picked up, and to be fair, Michaels led Cena to a belter.

I think it was obvious Cena would go over, and the only thing now is where to take this? I smell a rematch before Triple H returns to the picture. Although depending on how soon he cashes in the Money in the Bank, Kennedy/Cena will make a great programme.

Final Predicitions: 5-3

Not a bad score really, and certainly a terrific ‘mania. I think it was so good because I didn’t really expect much. The match quality wasn’t sky high, and there were certainly no classics in the region of HBK/Angle or Bret/Austin, but even so, very solid storytelling and great performances – I don’t recall any or many blown spots.

8.5 out of ten, only diminished by three slow matches and a slight lack of technical skill, MVP and Benoit apart.

It would be interesting to know what you guys think, do post your comments.