Extreme Rules live blog

01.02am
Pyro follows the usual quality promo to hype the night. Following this is a Fatal Fourway, apparantly.

01.05am
Kofi out first, followed by Regal. Sounded like a decent cheer for Matt next. Might be just his music, though. Big pop for MVP. New Orleans loves Montel.

01.09am
Uh-oh. Not long into the match and a major collision between MVP and Kofi. If it was deliberate, it looked like shit.

01.10am
Oh my, a tower of doom spot now goes awry. They have gone at a strong pace througout. Need to slow it down a little.

01.14am
Kofi retains, so its one to me for predictions, but the match just seemed off the pace. The finisher didn't hit right, and the whole match just felt like four guys were trying to hard to get stuff in. Poor opener I'm afraid.

01.16am
So Show is confident because Cena can't apply the STF? Are everybody idiots because no-one seems to realise that Cena is allowed to do more than just the STF.

01.23am
Nice little intro from Jericho from the merch stand to the ring, but can't help but think that was a TV promo not a PPV one. I like Grisham talking up Rey for being "Nice"

First couple of minutes start outside the ring with a bit of a brawl. Exactly what I asked for. Well done.

01.33am
Great stuff so far, but just a little question - why are the fans supposed to hate Jericho for removing the mask. Wouldn't they be curious as to what Rey looks like?

01.40am
Gotta love that. Crisp action throughout, terrific series of counters, and a very creative finish.

My big problem with it, though, is that the unmasking means nothing because no cameras bothered to follow the guy trying to hide his face, but instead looked at the guy doing very little in the ring.

That doesn't detract from the match too much, though. It was a typically great effort from these two. Normally I'd hate to see a third go on PPV between the same guys, but if they have a further PPV contest I won't complain.

01.45am
Why must we watch that long recap? Surely if someone has purchased this show then they know all about what happened on Raw. And if they don't, well they bought it anyway. Don't waste precious time that could have been given to the opening contest.

01.59am
No complaints from me there. I felt it was telegraphed that Punk would win when they started going on about how stacked in Umaga's favour it was, though.

Decent enough match, though, considering the limitations of that kind of match. I don't really care for strap matches, much like with Last Man Standing contests (and often cage matches - we'll see later) they are limiting rather than exciting. Glad Punk won, he needs that boost. Umaga is terrific to watch I think, but to me he really needs a manager or at least an ally who can talk to help him out. I miss Arrrrmando......alejandro......estrrrrrrrrrrada.

02.03am
Backstage to Gregory Helms (terrible interviewer, by the way) who interviews \Christian, who cuts a heel promo. Lame acting from the interupting Dreamer, and then corny dialogue as Swagger enters. The segment is saved, though, as Dreamer and Christian just walk away from Swagger. That was pretty funny.

02.17am
Well, that I wasn't expecting. Dreamer wins and pins Swagger to do so. Terrific, meaningful call by Striker on the bell. Some sections of the crowd felt that. Others didn't. Felt like that match should have taken place in Phillie. Would have been nice to see some ECW originals cheering him on. I'm aware that Rhyno, the Dudleys and so on can't appear, but I would have liked to have seen some ECW alumni on hand to celebrate with Tommy.

02.20am
Oh great. Hog Pen match. Time to get a snack. It's a bit late for a bacon sandwich I guess.

Seems that rules for this match are different to the original Hog Pen match. I recall Henry Godwinn backdropping Hunter Hearst Helmsley (yes, him) into the pen for the win. They didn't wrestle in it, you won by getting your opponent in there.

02.29am
I am not going to analyse that. It was pathetic.

02.30am
Perhaps that was designed to be so terrible that it would make Cena v Show seem awesome by comparison.

02.32am
I'd just like to say, for the benefit of my friend RD Reynolds, we may have a Gooker nominee.

02.37am
Video hyping Batista and Orton. Holy shit, that went on forever. Nice logical meeting of Vickie and Edge. Trouble is, that was virtually a babyface promo for Edge.

02.54am
Batista has the title, thats three out of four title changes tonight so far, and it came suddenly. No Legacy assistance for Randy, and very few close finishes, before a powerbomb ended it.

I'm still looking at a gradual build to, at Summerslam perhaps, Orton v Batista v Triple H, with Flair as the referee.

03.02am
Actual, proper insight from King as we are about to start the submission match. He talks about how every time he went into a match thinking he might lose, he lost. That's what the colour guy should do, add insight from his career.

Big Cena chat early on. Sounds like The Big Easy likes Cena.

03.24am
Pretty much what we were expecting, wasn't it? Typical slow Cena match, with a vaguely logical story about Cena applying his hold.

I'm sick of two things tonight. One is that the usual reference to "skull" rather than "head" has gone into overdrive and is sounding completely ridiculous. I mean staggeringly annoying. Saying something too often lessens its impact, not that saying skull is that impactful anyway.

The other petty annoyance is the predictions by the commentators being completely wrong. Wrong to the point that their insistance that Big Show or Umaga, for example, are guaranteed to win shattered any doubt about who the winner would be. They even did it with Orton and Batista.

03.53am
Exciting, breathtaking, exhilarating and terrifying in equal measures, Edge and Jeff Hardy, one the whole, deliver in the main event. Jeff wins after a very creative finish trapping Edge inside a ladder and ......wait. As I type, here is Puink.

03.56am
Hmm.....interesting stuff. Firstly, credit for the Jeff kick out and inside cradle near fall. Suddenly it seemed that Punk's cash-in might backfire.

My biggest doubt would be that the moment of Jeff winning was big, and the crowd loved it. They did not go crazy for Punk, because he is a lesser babyface than Jeff.

Punk heel turn possible? Remember Edge will deserve a rematch, so perhaps we'll see a triple threat soon.

Back to the Ladder match, I thought it was very good. Not amazing, not five stars, but it didn't disappoint. What you absolutely cannot fault is the commitment level which Edge and Jeff Hardy asipire to. I would suggest they will be seriously banged up after that one.

Overall an ok show. I don't think anyone will hate the fact that they missed it, but Jericho v Rey and Edge v Jeff were both quality matches, and the Punk cash in was a shocking moment.

I look forward to Smackdown far more than Raw this week.

Extreme Rules Preview

It may well be an easy pun to say that this Pay Per View ranges “from one extreme to another” (in fact I think I did last week on The Sun’s site) but the dichotomy of a PPV which has a Jeff Hardy v Edge ladder match and a Hog Pen match between a non-wrestler and a guy in drag is certainly different.

This is the time of PPV that could go either way. I can see there being at least three matches which have the potential to be very good indeed. However, the build to it has been average, and it is difficult to have much investment in several of the feuds.


Santina Morella v Vickie Guerrero (Hog Pen Match)
It’s difficult to believe that Vickie had nuclear heat only a couple of months ago, and was almost the most hated in heel in company. Now, she is relegated to a comedy feud, and I use the word comedy very loosely.

Santino, in turn, has been comically neutered by turning face. As a heel who gets shown up, he is hilarious, but snorting like a pig isn’t as funny as many of his other, quite subtle at times, mannerisms. Since his alter ego Santina appeared on the scene, it’s been dire, although I will admit that I laughed a few weeks back when he/she joshed with JR.

I don’t care who wins the match, I just hope that they can do it quickly, make seven children laugh and then get off, and never come back to this feud.

Prediction: Apathy, and maybe Vickie with some help, will win the day. There is more scope in the idea of Vickie being Miss Wrestlemania and using this as a tool for being more annoying.


CM Punk v Umaga – Strap match
I didn’t really see the logic of having these two wrestle on Smackdown ahead of their PPV match. Punk picked up a win with Umaga going for the strap, so instinct might suggest that the Samoan goes over in this one, and that Punk was winning so as not to look too bad, as his opponent was winning again Sunday.

Look for the typical strap match move, where the stronger heel pulls the babyface around but the wily good guy will touch the turnbuckle after his enemy. That is assuming this is the rule.

To me, there is an easy set up for promoting (in terms of card position) Umaga using CM Punk, and this is by virtue of the Money in the Bank factor. Umaga beats Punk, but Punk cashes in and wins the title. Theoretically you have two heels pissed off at Punk – the former champ (in this case Edge) and the guy who bested him (Umaga). Throw in a title switch to Jeff before Punk’s interference and you have a third guy annoyed, because he’s lost a belt and Edge’s gripe would be that he is entitled to a rematch.

I’m not saying that they will go with the Punk run-in tonight, but just explaining that if they did, they are well covered for ways to prolong the story should they choose that route right now. The main problem would have been that Umaga wouldn’t be able to vocalise his point in the traditional way, with his character being a non-Anglophone. But he talks now, apparently, so this might not be an issue.

Prediction – I think Umaga wins, and depending on happenings elsewhere, could be set for bigger things at the top of the card, or maybe an IC run with Rey?


Fatal Fourway for the US Title – Kofi Kingston (c) v William Regal v MVP v Matt Hardy
A reasonable use of these four mid-card wrestlers, all of whom are more than decent hands. I don’t know whether this will be an elimination contest, but I would assume not.

My initial reaction is that it is pointless to have Kofi Kingston win the title on Raw only to drop it again so quickly, so he’d be my pick to win. Since these theories aren’t always watertight, I’d best have a couple of back up explanations.

One would be that MVP winning the title back wouldn’t hurt Kofi too much, especially if MVP pins either Hardy or Regal. You then have the stage set for MVP saying he’s the greatest US Champion, but Kofi reacting by saying “Well you didn’t beat me.” Cue PPV match.

The other way of looking at it might be a Regal and Hardy coalition, fitting their storyline of being aligned under the guise of lackeys for Vickie G. Although why Matt would be an underling to a wife of Edge’s I’m not quite sure.

With these two being sort-of-buddies, they could pair up to effect and dominate in this way. I’d say this is likely to happen for a time, but then an argument will start up over who will win, leading to their self destruction.

Prediction – the aforementioned Regal/Hardy argument to come after they have disposed of MVP, but Kofi to take advantage and score a win.


Intercontinental Title – Chris Jericho v Rey Mysterio. No Holds Barred

These two had a cracking match at the last WWE PPV offering Judgment Day, so I’d be very hopeful of another stunning effort. Jericho is perhaps the best in the business and having fresh matches with the same guys, and these two have such a back catalogue of matches from the WCW days to call upon that most WWE fans won’t have seen.

To me, the big issue in this one is on the aspect of whether they use the No Holds Barred stip. This basically means no disqualification, and therefore I would like to see typically illegal moves and weapons to be introduced early on. They had a couple of brawls on Smackdown in recent weeks suggesting they hate each other and are desperate to fight. Therefore, you would not start a wrestling match, even one with a title on the line, with a stand off and a lock up. It wouldn’t make sense.

Their last contest was a great wrestling match, this ought to be a bit more of a brawl, but they are still more than capable of putting some entertaining stuff in that.

On a card which features Edge and Jeff on ladders, this will go some to be match of the night, but they’ll likely have a crack at it.

As for the winner – It’s a really tough call. The fact that Rey won last time and that Jericho is a major heel suggests that the former Y2J would be a likely victor, but I don’t see how it helps him winning the IC strap AGAIN. He can also likely build his heat for a world title position again with his vocal skills and character development.

I’d suggest that he and Umaga could swap feuds after this. An Umaga challenge for Rey’s IC Title makes sense to me, while Jericho battling (and beating) Punk could set him up for a rise in the ranks, and could take the position I spoke about earlier, as a vanquisher of Punk and a perfect choice to be complainer-in-chief who thinks he deserves better.

Prediction – I think the IC Title fits better on Rey. Him winning is more logical to me, as Jericho can build his heat up if he needs to.

On More Thing.....I’d also like to point out that if they do go with a Jericho win, and they go with an Umaga v Rey programme, that Umaga attacking Rey during the match, remembering it’s no DQ, could give Jericho a win and a ready made angle for Mysterio and the burly Samoan.


ECW Title – Jack Swagger v Christian v Tommy Dreamer
This match feels like it’s just there, with no real anticipation build. I like the idea of giving Dreamer a send-off on a decent platform, and while not Wrestlemania, it is at least not an ECW show with one man and a dog watching.

He surely can’t win. It makes no sense to have him go over, and would simply harm the burgeoning Swagger and the ongoing push of Christian. I would expect, though, to see plenty of near-falls for Dreamer, giving the impression that he might just pull it off.

I think I’d like to see Swagger win on one level, since it could be an appropriate time for him to regain, and gloat at retiring Dreamer. It also wouldn’t hurt Christian too much losing a title in a three-way. However, longer term, Swagger being champion means a less obvious opponents for the title, and although he and Christian have worked well, we don’t need another of their matches on PPV.

Christian retaining sets up matches with DH Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry and a babyface outing with Evan Bourne could be set up. If Swagger wins, only really Christian and Bourne fit the bill, with it being rather pointless to elevate Finlay at this point.

Prediction – I think when you look at the most likely eventualities, Christian retaining makes the most sense, but I say that will little conviction. Hopefully there will be a nice little post match send off for Dreamer, with Christian acknowledging and Swagger demeaning the ECW original. Oh, and don’t expect a classic wrestling match – expect Dreamer, and to a lesser extent Christian, to take a pummelling with weapons.


Big Show v John Cena – Ploddingly slow submission match
I don’t anticipate a classic here by any stretch. I don’t think these two have particular chemistry, and neither do they possess an innate ability to change their matches. They often follow quite a similar formula, and I’d expect it to go as follows.

Cena with a flurry, tries the STF, fails. Show takes over. Keeps beating on Cena, Cena won’t give up. Every now and then Cena fights up and tries a submission hold, mostly the STF, keeps failing. More Show pressure, more superman Cena refusing to tap, maybe even powering out of a camel clutch. Eventually John will lock in either a modified STF or a brand new move, and win. It’s what he does.

Prediction – Erm, John Cena. And see above.


Randy Orton v Batista – WWE title match, in a cage.
I just can’t get excited for this at all. To me all the action at this PPV is from the featured Smackdown matches, while Raw’s offerings just don’t match up.

I don’t find Dave Batista all that much of a draw, and while I do like Orton, he has been stifled so much of late that he just seems to be a sitting duck until Triple H comes back and murders him.

I don’t think that a cage provides that many outlets for putting together a creative match, so these two have their work cut out.

You have to look at title matches and to pick a winner you must look at who is waiting in the wings to take on the champion, whomever it may be. I’d suggest that a Batista win just leads to Orton v Batista again, and I don’t know either man would go apart from that.

Triple H is the elephant in the ring, and when he returns things can go a couple of ways. He could be the returning virtuous babyface and win out, or there could be a falling out between him and Batista.

How about this one.....remember there has been another man involved in the Orton/Batista build-up. So what if Hunter returns, doesn’t see eye to eye with Batista, both men hate Orton, who reciprocates their dislike. So a triple threat is booked for the WWE Title.........

And Ric Flair is the special referee.

Sounds good, huh? The three active Evolution wrestlers battling with their former senior member as the man in the middle.

Following that up, it would actually make little difference about who is champion, as both Randy and Dave would be involved, plus Hunter. I’d actually like it if Batista was champ at this point, and it would lead to more antagonism between him and the Game. If Triple H returns and wants the belt, and Orton is champ, he’d logically just get the shot, because Batista failed to get the job done. But if Batista is champ, then Trips and Randy would be both be angling for a shot, hence a triple threat.

Prediction – I’m going to go with Batista. I’m going to have faith in my own fantasy booking. That’s probably misplaced confidence.


Edge v Jeff Hardy – Ladder match for the WWE Championship
This is the mouthwaterer for me. I want to see this match badly. I think it has the potential to be awesome. Great advertising in the build up with the promise that it’s the first ever singles ladder contest for these guys, considering they are so adept in the field.

Edge’s mannerisms, match pacing and storytelling ability make him a great champion, while Jeff’s high flying style should make this match very memorable indeed.

The question mark, I feel, is not over the quality, but over the winner. The rumours of Jeff Hardy’s departure should not be completely believed, but they have gone on for too long for them to be without substance. WWE can look at it two ways – throw great things at Jeff is one option. A title run and a massive push may convince him to commit and stay. If he leaves, you can look at it that you milked him before he upped sticks.

However, the last time he disappeared he then resurfaced in TNA. WWE would be wary of pushing him to the moon only to find him jumping to the competition, helping their cause.

So then, do you hold him back, and make sure you do not put him in any high-profile situations after this and ensure that he can’t ruin anything for you?

Well, we don’t know the contract situation, and neither should we, so it’s best we just sit back and take it in.

I have, in fairness, been quite short sighted in my appraisal of Smackdown’s ongoing feuds. I’ve put Rey with Umaga and Jericho with Punk, which doesn’t leave much room for manoeuvre on Edge and Jeff Hardy’s part. They can’t really go around again, since the Ladder match ought to be a blow off.

I really can’t call this, so what I’ll do is go for what I want to see deep down, and that’s Jeff win the title in his specialty match.

Prediction – Jeff Hardy. But moreover, I call a near-classic.

There’s my selections – enjoy the show! Don’t forget you can visit here again during the PPV and I will do my usual live blog.

Judgment Day Live Blog

00.58am
Good Afternoon/Evening/Morning, whereever you are in the world. Judgment Day is minutes away. I've just read a Spoiler, which I'm annoyed about. I try not to read spoilers just before big shows, and I broke my rule. I won't let you in on it, that wouldn't be fair. I'll let you know if it happens, when it does.......or doesn't, if you get my drift.

For those who care, drink of choice is Irn Bru (If you are outside UK, google it) and snack is Fruit Pastilles (just the red and purple ones).

01.01am
Is that meant to be an English accent on the voiceover at the start?

01.03am
Trying to pump up the crowd straight out of the blocks, here comes the Punker. He'll take on Umaga first up, and it seems it's Todd and JR on commentary first up. Are we back to individual announce teams?

I like the irony of CM Punk wrestling the man who it was suggested was a Samoa Joe impersonator. For the record, I'm led to believe that not only was that not the case (unless you noticed, there were Samoans in Wrestling before Joe Seanoa) but there is no heat between the men. That thing you may have read in PWI was complete nonsense.

01.07am
Umaga with the......what do we call it, Uranage?.... within the opening minutes. Interesting, since that's the move that was shown as devastating on the recap just before the match.

01.08am
Remember you can join in with the blog - robthegreen@hotmail.com is the address.

01.11am
Nelson, and I wonder why the ring ropes are white?

Slow match so far. Punk with virtually no offense.

01.19am
Clean win for Umaga. I don't like Punk losing too often. I do like Umaga winnning, though. I dig the Umaga character, and would love to see a Umaga/Undertaker programme very similar to Mankind's one with Taker back in 1996 or so.

01.21am
Show with standard chat with Vickie, before someone walks in. Big cheer for Edge (for it was he) but we don't get to hear his conversation with his wife.

01.22am
I didn't know the Unprettier was now the Killswitch. I think that is something to do with the band that play CM Punk's music. Anyone clarify for me?

01.23am
Josh and Striker for ECW so we have a set of teams again. Nice cheer for Christian, and I know I say this every time, but I wish he had his old theme music - same song, but the other version.

Am I talking about songs more than wrestling so far?

Hey, there's my man Tony the Ring Announcer. Remember, Chimel fix it for you.

01.25am
Wow, that's incredible. I went to Umaga's Wikipedia page because I was having a moment of thought about his family tree - and get this, his profile has already been updated to reflect him defeating CM Punk tonight. Who is doing things that quickly?

01.31am
Decent match so far, although it's got frantic early. Some nice spots, and a different match to last time, which is nice.

Great shot of Christian nailing a twisting elbow from the middle rope looking like he was flying into my living room (I'm actually in my office, but that sounds wrong)

Nice realism as the referee doesn't count when Christian's shoulders aren't quite down. Really enjoying this now.

01.34am
Official spot Swagger pulling the tights on a pin attempt, so stops the pin, making him the SMARTEST OFFICIAL EVER

01.35am
Christian pulls the straps of Swagger's wrestling gear down, then rolls him up and pulls the tights. Ref fails to spot this making him an IDIOT!! (Aren't I consistant?)

Seriously, though, I like that. That was nicely put together, and Striker's explanation post-match about straps being kept up in amateur wrestling was a terrific call.

Well done all round. Really enjoyed that match. Great pacing, clever thought process, nice counters. High quality stuff. Kudos to the guys and the agent involved.

01.39am
I'm still to be convinced of babyface Morrison (I'm the same with babyface Carlito. There are some characters who just fit with heel in my opinion) but this match should be good. Really nice feel to the show tonight. Crowd seem up, announcers on their game, and so far one one pretty good match and very good one for me.

Nice crowd shot of Chicago. I have been there for a week or so (Bound for Glory last year), and it truly is a fantastic city. Hope to go back someday.

01.41am
Benjamin has Haas with him. Let's see if that becomes important.

J-Mo does one heck of a move to the outside. A springboard 450 plancha I guess.

01.43am
Here's a thought. When Show and Vickie were talking, they mentioned Cena being out of action along with Triple H. Never mentioned Shawn Michaels. I wish they'd mention guys when they are nowhere to be seen and tell us why.

01.45am
JR is not into poetry apparantly. Forsooth, who would have guessed it?

01.46am
Back to the Christian and Swagger match briefly, and I'd to credit WWE for booking the finish I predicted :-) - that being a conclusion to give Christian the credit for being resourceful and using experience, and making Swagger's only negative being that he is young.

01.51am
So much fun. I've been saying for a long time that I think Morrison is the next guy ready to step up and be counted. This is the first time I've truly believed it, and I now think he could be anything he likes.

In one performance, he's.....well he hasn't converted me, because I was already a fan, but he has made me a firm believer. I tell you what, I'll take back what I said pre-match too. Morrison's offense was so flashy, so good to watch, so Jeff Hardy like, that people will cheer it.

Only disappointment was that they slightly botched a spot with Shelton supposed to be catching Morrison and powerbombing him into the corner, except he toppled just short.

01.55am
Proper heat for Miz, now. He refers to Morrison as Marty Janetty and rags on the crowd. Great stuff. He's challenging a Chicago Cub player who is looking like he is a mannequin. Some references that I'm afraid I don't understand to the guy being injured. He barely looks angry, amused, annoyed, or anything. Is he an Anglophone?

Miz claims this as a win over Cena, because the guy is apparantly a Cena substitute. He is 4-0, and......Santino? Speaking of lovable losers........

Santino says about the Cubs player being a fellow Italian, which gets a laugh, so I assume he isn't.

We end with Miz and Santino fighting, and the former getting the upper hand. Santino officially a babyface now, I guess. A little bit of fire for Santino, which was interesting. Hopefully Santina is no more, but I wouldn't count on it.

Chavo attacks Santino after Miz does. Great stuff. I like it when things overlap. From Edge/Vickie, to Chavo, to Santino, to Miz, to Cena, to Show, and back again. Nice stuff.

02.07am
IC title time. Nice build-up promo from Jericho, and then out comes Rey.

02.08am
Letter alert!!!

"hey, delliott here. You said that WWE are booking it straight with no gimmick matches right? Did u think about the next ppv being all gimmick matches?

Maybe they're trying to increase the shock vaule of extreme rules."

Very fair point. Hadn't thought of that at all. It makes for commons sense. I hope, though, that they manage to do it more often so as to increase the value of gimmick matches. I hate an entire PPV being gimmicked. Lockdown has worked a couple of times, but generally I can't help but think it's a bad idea.

02.12am
Early Y2J chants from the crowd to counter the great reaction Rey got. I hope this match can ebb and flow, and swing from one man to the other. The crowd will dig that.

02.14am
Couple more letters. Firstly Bob Baker:

"Do you think the Umaga win was to put us off the scent of a Punk cash-in in his hometown?"

Probably not. We thought it might last time, didn't we, with Kane? Mind you, the reaction would be a amazing. This crowd are hot tonight.

And from LuisBoy:

"Have you heard the spoiler that......" I'm ending this email, which repeats the spoiler I talked about earlier. Grr, I hate opening emails sometimes. Thanks Luis.

02.17am
ASK HIM!!

02.18am
I might be making a leap here, but Grisham just did a major pause, simply saying "Jericho" and letting it hang while Mysterio hit a move. This came just after he said the word "Luchador" - can't imagine Vince liking that word, so maybe he was getting told off.

02.24am
I would have prefered to see Jericho win, but apart from that, I'll just drool over a superb wrestling match. I'm going to say it, despite Todd possibly getting ripped for saying Luchador. That was a proper, bona fide WRESTLING match, kids.

Beautifully paced, terrifically executed. A clinic.

02.26am
Hows this for an observation.......

In the old days, the start of the NWO period really, the WCW pay per views were strong, and although the main events full of old guys generally sucked (Hogan/Warrior, Hogan/Piper etc), the undercard was usually great.

How nice that after Punk/Umaga set a decent opening level, Christian and Swagger engaged in a nice to-and-fro and Morrison and Benjamin wowed the crowd, up stepped Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho to put in a superb effort at a crucial point. Thats Chris Jericho and Rey Misterio Jnr from the Atlanta movement, two men, along with likes of Malenko, Benoit, Guererro and others who regularly bolstered the WCW PPVs I mention.

02.30am
Randy Orton hits the ring (I hate it when the champ comes out first) alone. No Cody or Teddy yet.

By the way, Randy, no pressure in following a great match. I know you can do it.

Just not in Houston.

02.39am
Fancy another observation? Four matches ranging from ok through very good to excellent. None from Raw.

02.49am
I wasn't expecting that.

Here's the thing. This was a worse match than Triple H and Orton at Mania, but not a disappointment. I didn't expect this match to be much. Orton and Trips had a match at Mania significantly worse than any other one they have had. It was just south of average. This was poor, but I expected poor. Batista has two gears. Slow and slower.

I'll give him credit for hitting a move off the top rope, though. Something he presumably learned from Ric Flair!

I'll come to him in a second. The match story of Orton trying to get out of the match was going ok, but why if he ends it by slapping the ref, why not do that straight away?

Booking 101 into a no-dq match at Extreme Rules. Now you know why this didn't go on last.

So Naitch appears post match. Great, Randy and co get to look weak in front of another old/inactive/both (delete as applicable) guy.

I assume Flair is involved for two reasons. One to make sure he doesn't get too pally with Ring of Honor, but more importantly to facilitate a turn. Think about it. If Triple H or Batista turn on the other it is likely to split people. Not everyone will buy the turn, whomever does it.

If, however, the turnee obliterates Ric Flair rather than the other man, then they get more heat right away. I'd say that Batista blames Flair at some point for costing him something, and then Trips comes to defend Flair's (Not Ring of) honour.

02.57am
How about this one then.......Reid Flair for Legacy?

03.14am
OK, stay with me on this one.........

I found that dull and boring. I tidied some things up rather than simply sitting back and watching.

But I applaud them greatly for that match. The WWE audience spans a range of ages. There will be seven year old kids who don't realise that Jericho and Rey were awesome, and just wanted to see John Cena.

When he came on, he particpated in a match with a great story. Kids don't see fujiwara arm bars and inside cradles. They see good and evil, heroes and villains, in black and white terms. Cena is a hero, and like all good heroes, he vanquished the enemy who looked certain to win the day.

Like I say, not my cup of tea, but in context that was very well executed.

03.48am
Several points to make.

You know that spoiler I mentioned? It was that Jeff would be champion at Extreme Rules. So then, either he will win on a future Smackdown or it was nonsense.

Poor camerawork for the mid air spear. Great camerawork for the Matt Hardy interference (but why didn't Matt just run in and smash Jeff? He wouldn't win the belt, would he? We've seen that with Orton.)

God I hate that referee. Put simply, you can tell when he is going to pull up and not count to three, so all nearfalls become redundant. You can't have false finishes with him.

The call was terrible. I hesitate to blame Grisham, because I don't know what he is being told to say, and because his performances to now have been solid, but he ruined the main event for me. JR was calling the match (THE MATCH) to make it feel big, but Grish was repeating things and talking about dotcom polls. More work needed, I think.

A good closing match. The pace of the match did make you sway one way and another in who you'd think would win. When Jeff kicked out of Matt's interference it looked as though he might take it.

Could Christian be done with Swagger and fulfil my dream of Jeff/Christian v Matt/Edge? It's still possible.

That has to be considered a strong PPV, but once again, I'm afraid, Randy Orton's title match is one of, if not THE weak spot. The show was bowling along until that point, and he and Batista never really got going, for me. I've explained that I didn't care for the Cena match but was happy with the reasons behind it. I wouldn't have minded that going higher up the card, perhaps before Rey and Jericho.

WWE continue their trend of late. Overall strong PPV, but one title match lacking in substance.

Raw is.............strange

I will admit to having been a little slack of late in updating this page, but to be fair, I don’t think there has been a huge amount to keep track of.

Watching Raw this week I was prompted to put finger to keyboard once more, in response to one of the strangest episodes of WWE’s flagship show I have ever seen.

The man who so often talked about wrestling characters being in shades of grey as opposed to black and white was Vince Russo, but the anti-puricist (sic) is over at TNA confusing people along with Dutch Mantell, so he was not responsible for this week’s Raw.

This week was a very strange entity, with the face/heel line being completely blurred. I cannot work out whether confusion would put people off or whether it would intrigue people to watch again.

Chris Jericho’s journey since his return has been an odd one, with his initial appearance getting a minimal pop while other places have cheered and chanted wildly for him. This week, he kicked the show with some funny stuff which got nothing from the live crowd, and then went all tweener on us.

His guest on the Highlight Reel was the Big Show, who on his return attacked Rey Mysterio, and drew Floyd Mayweathe rout of the crowd. So this should mean he is a heel. He then buttered the crowd up last week, eliciting cheers after the Pretty Boy got booed. So maybe he is a babyface. The fact that Mayweather has a brooding posse backing him up makes him look heelsish, so maybe Show is face by proxy.

So when Show and Jericho got together, the reactions were odd. The crowd didn’t know whether to boo Show or not, to boo the mention of Mayweather or not. They did, however, cheer Jericho and chant his name.

Later, though, Jericho nailed Big Show with the IC title belt to get a DQ, which is distinct heel behaviour. So is Y2J turning heel? If he is, I can only think that Triple H is going to get the title, perhaps have a short feud with Orton, so that Y2J can take on Cena. I don’t see why Jericho would turn heel right now, especially in the absence of Jeff Hardy for two months.

During the show we also saw an Umaga squash of London and Kendrick.........of sorts.

It looked like a standard destruction of a tag team, which of course if done by a heel means Londrick have to take the beating, whereas a face must destroy Cade and Murdoch.

However, Brian Kendrick abandoned his tag team partner during the match so Paul London got destroyed. However, although William Regal used it as a segue to talk to Triple H, JR and King barely talked about it at all. Strange stuff.

Later on, we get Ric Flair v Vince McMahon in a street fight, with Flair’s career on the line.

(Fun fact, I mistyped ‘career’ there and put ‘carer’. I can imagine that Naitch may well be old enough to have a carer, and that would be very unfortunately a stipulation took away his nurse.Ric: “Hey, Nurse, pooooooooooo.”Carer: “Oh Mr Flair, have you soiled yourself again?”Ric: “Listen, to care for the man, you gotta wipe the man.”)

Now this match was not advertised apart from (I’m told) on WWE.com, which is greatly surprising. Firstly, the match, from a pure standpoint, was atrocious, with some of the worst punches thrown that I have ever seen. However, the storytelling was interesting, with one major running flaw.

I stand my prediction that I made ages ago that Ric Flair will win at Wrestlemania. I felt even strnger about this when I heard that his opponent will be Shawn Michaels. It is insane that Flair would lose to a stronger top guy like Michaels who does not need the win, when he could have his career ended by someone like Punk, Kennedy or MVP who could really push themselves to the sky with the scalp of Flair’s career.

So, with Flair needing to be kept strong to Mania to take on a man who pushed John Cena to the limit last year (and beat Cena shortly afterwards in a classic on Raw) why would he be dominated by a man older than he is (how often is Ric the plucky youngster?) It was nuts, and to top it off, Vince got a visual clean fall which was only interrupted by HBK’s interference.

Michaels then left, making even less sense, before Flair eventually went over. If Michaels was going to interfere, stopping Flair from getting beat and retiring, wouldn’t he just get in the ring and Superkick Vince?

More strange stuff. But we were not done.

Onto the main event, which pitted John Cena and Randy Orton v The “Entire Raw Roster”. Get that, the ENTIRE raw roster.

Except for Shawn Michaels. And Chris Jericho. And Ric Flair. And Jerry Lawler. And the Divas, who technically are on the raw roster. And William Regal. And Vince McMahon.
So it wasn’t the whole roster, and if you were Triple H and in charge, wouldn’t you have your best buddy, who didn’t wrestle on the show, take out the other guys?

But it gets better, because by virtue of being part of a tag team against 17 guys, Randy Orton got cheered. He also did some really cool stuff, by hitting a couple of fantastic RKOs, and a great double team move with Cena propelling Cody Rhodes to getting hammered by Orton.

So Orton comes over like a babyface. In fact, I recommend a quick trip to WWE.com to have a look at the after show dialogue between Orton and Cena, which actually would have been a good thing to have on the show.

Just to round things off, two guys hold their own against seventeen (!) which does no-one any favours whatsoever. And to add to that some of the guys doing a beatdown of the plucky duo were babyfaces. I guess these were babyfaces considered expendable and that it wouldn’t matter if they got a heel reception or an ass-kicking, and that is why HBK and co did not appear.

Oh, and I should mention, Santino Marella popped up a couple of times, and was hilarious. The man is a genius, and I hope he is given a 10-year contract instantly.

A bizarre show – roll on Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble Live Notes

00.58am The Royal Rumble. My favourite Pay Per View all year, and I’m really excited about tonight’s event, which has a great looking card. As long as the finishes involved stand up to scrutiny, this could be the best WWE PPV for sometime.

01.02amWe’re at MSG, and I’m delighted that the stage is set up with the aisle in front of the camera, as it was in 2000. The NYC crowd in the Garden are almost always electric, and lest hope tonight is no example.

01.04amRic is out first, to a great reception, and I’d totally forgotten that Coach was the SD commentator (I haven;t seen Smackdown for a few weeks). Customary “Wooooo” and another great Flair promo to start the night. Making everything feel like a huge deal every time he has a match now is a very wise move, because you want to think that when Ric finally goes that it will have that special feel. It won’t be tonight though.

01.06amNice touch to get MVP to walk that aisle (sorry Ric) and have his music hit when Flair was still talking, generate more heat for him, as if he needed it. Ironically, the words of MVP’s theme song says “Can you hear the clock ticking?” and “I want you to remember me”. Prescient words?

01.15amRelatively short match, but an appropriate beginning to the show. Flair goes over clean, and in a match which was certainly more than adequate. Some nice spots, expcially whe Flair was counted out for the fall, but ironically it was referee, L’il Naitch, Charles Robinson who saw his mistake and noted Flair’s foot on the ropes.

Flair wins with a Figure 4 and continues the angle of his retirement. Who will be next? (I don’t mean Goldberg)

01.17am
Vince gives Hornswaggle a pep talk backstage, telling the little bastard that he shouldn’t trust anyone. Certainly not his make up lady. Who keeps putting dirt on his face, dammit?

01.20am
Back to ringside, and JR introduces us to Mike Adamle (that is his surname, I know it looks like half a name) who looks terrified, frankly, despite JR telling us that he is an experienced broadcaster. His job is to introduce the vignette about the Y2J/JBL rivalry. I think so, anyway, because all I can look at is his hair. Its about a foot high on his head. An all this in the very famous arena where, at Wrestlemania 10, Cy Spurling, of the Hair Club for men make Howard Finkel a wig. Spurling for the Hall of Fame celebrity wing 2008!

01.22am
Jericho is on his way to the ring, and if you are watching this in Liechtenstein (I got my ‘Stein reference in before King this time) it is 2.22am. How fitting.

01.34am
As we thought, this one ends in a DQ, with Jericho landing a chairshot on the head of JBL. Jericho bladed like a mad thing in this one, and this one had some believable offense from both guys. However, the actual wrestling was sub-standard, and because the outcome was fairly expected, the edge was lost form the match.

In fact, the biggest reaction came after the match when Jericho hung JBL with a cable, much like JBL did to Jericho a couple of weeks ago. I’d expect a strap match to come between these two next. The obvious plan is to go more than one PPV with this programme, and you get the feeling that a NO DQ stip will help them no end.

01.40am
Santino gets a few seconds on camera, maybe more than he’ll get in the actual rumble match. He berates Ashley for trying to recruit Maria to her ‘boobie’ magazine. Haha, this is ironic because Ashley clearly does not have boobies, but instead has two fitted plastic contraptions on her chest.

01.47am
We have the announcements for the World Title match, and I’d say that Edge is more over than Rey here. Split crowd, but like when I talk about Cena, at least people have an opinion. Michaels Cole is normally full of horse you-know-what, but this, as he said, really does feel like it has a ‘big match feel’.

02.01am
That was nearly a classic. Very well thought out match, with the story being Rey having a hurt leg, and having to make a comeback with moves other than his usual. This led to a fantastic spot where Mysterio did a baseball slide to Edge on the outside, but slid head first and pulled Edge into a DDT. To me, the ending was both exceptional and annoying. I loved the final spot, where Edge speared a mid air Rey, who was bouncing over the ropes with a springboard attack. However, I think this ending was strong enough without them having to do a spot before this, where Rey had the 3 count over Edge, only for Vickie to pull the ref. I don’t think it was necessary to hurt Edge in that way. If he is supposed to be a legit contender to take on Taker, shouldn’t he be able to beat a one legged little fella?

02.07am
Fun little segment backstage with Kennedy, Flair, Batista, HHH and HBK. Maybe Flair will put KK over at Mania?

02.14am
Fantastic in-ring segment. Basically the premise was that Ashley asked Maria to do Playboy, which of course prompted Santino to emerge. Good lord that man is superb on the stick. He got cheered massively when he came out, only to have the whole arena booing his within seconds. Genius.

02.19am
Orton v Hardy is next. Wait, no, its Jeff HARVEY apparently, as the new, experienced broadcaster gets the number one contender and the hottest guy in wrestling right now’s name wrong.

MSG pops big for Jeff, but I’m now fearing my own rule. I said in the preview that if this match was pre-Rumble then Orton would win. Post Rumble and I’d go for Hardy. Its pre, so as much as I hate it, I think Orton will go over.

02.40am
Damn. I suppose it was always the most likely scenario, but even though I’d written how I thought that Orton would win, in my heart I still thought Jeff could do it. And although the ending was neat – RKO from the Twist of Fate – there was very little warning. I know that you want a bit of an impact at the end, but Jeff never even got a few false finishes to make his fight seem credible.
I’d suggest that Jeff will go very close in the Chamber then win the Money in the Bank. They have to give him a shot, surely, at some point.

02.48am
Michael Buffer (WCW guy) is here to tell us the rules we all know, the rules of the Rumble – we probably know better than you, Michael. He has to read it off of a card.

A nice video aired to hype the Rumble.

Buffer does some Triple H gimmick infringement (I kid, I know he did it first) Man, I would have marked if Buffer has said “Suck it”.

02.51am
The Rumble will be 90 seconds for entry this year, and now we know why. Undertaker has drawn number one, and takes 26 minutes to reach the ring.

So either the Deadman is going ‘coast to coast’, or my prediction will go up in smoke. And, oh my HBK is number two.

02.56am
Santino is three, and to a big pop. The next big pop is HBK’s boot on his jaw. Taker throws him out. Still love you Santino.

02.58am – and that’s the last of the timechecks.....

Khali is four, and once again he is gone before the next guy comes in. Big “you can’t wrestle” chant for the big Punjabi block of wood, and Taker gets rid of him. HBK is sneaking up on Taker but getting nowhere.

Hardcore Holly is 5, and it seems the ring may begin to fill with midcarders?

Yep, here’s Morrison at 6. Michaels throws Morrison but the former Mr Nitro does a cool survival spot. HBK hits a top rope elbow, but looks like he has a busted mouth.

Big reaction for Tommy Dreamer as number 7. He might be the most over guy in the ring right now. I am not kidding.

Batista is 8 and beats on guys until facing up to Taker. Interrupted by Dreamer, who gets thrown out by the Animal. Big Dave with a spear to Morrison, and we go back to standard Rumble action.

Comedy at 9 – its Hornswaggle. And, to a good call from JR, shades of Jerry Lawler as l’il Horny hides under the ring. Batista and Taker going at it a lot here, HBK does another standard piece of athleticism, i.e going over the top and under the bottom.

Palumbo completes the first third of the match. Santino, Khali and Dreamer the only men out so far.

These 90 seconds feel quick. Predictably, Noble is out next to face up to Chuck, and gets quite a decent ‘Jamie Noble’ chant. It doesn’t last long, because he is gone within a minute.

In one corner Palumbo is beating down Undertaker, perhaps telling him that he is best at the biker gimmick. Which of course may or may not be true.

Great reaction for Punk, who lands a load of knees before getting levelled by Taker. Palumbo marginally survives on the apron before Punk knocks him down.

Cody Rhodes is number 13, and it means both he and Holly are in the ring. Cody helps Holly from a Taker beating, and actually gets Taker to sell........eventually. By the way, Michaels has done another clever piece of survival since I last reported on, but I can’t be bothered to do it every time, so just assume it keeps happening.

Umaga is 14, and is in brand new blood red tights. He lands a few stiff looking shots all over the place, and then Samoan Spikes Hardcore right out of there. Beatdown for Batista by Umaga, before UT breaks it up.

Snitsky at 15 as HBK continues to fly around the place like he is on a pneumatic bungee rope. Cody does a nice spot trying to eliminate Snitsky quickly, with both of them going over the top but holding on. JR compares Morrison to Michaels, and in fairness Morrison has looked good so far.

The Miz, complete with “X-Pac heat” goes right for Punk. Undertaker and Umaga are spending a lot of time matched up at this point – remember that this feud has been talked of for a while.

Can’t believe we are up to 17 already, and its Shelton. Massiev vertical leap to the top rope to knock both Miz and Morrison down. I don’t know what they were doing up there, I guess fighting each other.

However, despite Shelton being a likely candidate for going a long time, he is superkicked out by HBK. I guess there is some stopping him.

From a superkick to a superfly? 18 is.......Jimmy Snuka? Ok, the husk or the corpse of the Superfly anyway. He gets a few shots in, and has already lasted longer than Shelton. What’s the point of that?

Huge pop for number 19 (including me) as Piper is next. A nostalgia section, perhaps. Everyone has stopped to see Piper and Snuka get it on. Piper hasn’t brought a coconut to hit Snuka with.

Party pooper time. As everyone gets back into it, Kane is next, and dumps both Piper and Snuka. Massive chokeslam for Miz. Seriously, that was fantastic to see Roddy back. Hopefully his health issues are also eliminated.

Taker teases a chokeslam for Kane but goes after HBK the spider monkey instead. Carlito is 21, and has some nice interaction with Morrison and CM Punk.

22, wow this is going quick, is Mick Foley. Notables still to come are Triple H, Ken Kennedy, Big Daddy V, Mark Henry and Finlay. There are literally bodies flying everywhere, and it should be pointed out that although #2 Michaels is flying everywhere, Taker hasn’t looked like being threatened.

23 is Mr Kennedy, to a big reaction and chant. I don’t care what he says in interviews that make him look an idiot, I love Kennedy. I still say he is the next Steve Austin. He eats a chokeslam pretty quickly here though.

Taker clatters Umaga and Snitsky, and then HBK and Morrison. Second wind for Taker.

Speaking of seconds, here is a man who likes to go back for seconds, Big Daddy V.

And as he arrives, the complexion of the match changes. Taker throws Snitsky, is blindsided by a Michaels superkick which eliminates the Deadman, but Kennedy gets rid of HBK.

Taker takes out frustration on Snitsky outside with a legdrop on the table......apparently, because it wasn’t shown on TV.

Mark Henry is next, and as Miz is hanging over the ropes, Hornswaggle emerges to pull Miz out. He then dives back under the ring, and we then get a replay of Taker’s leg drop on Snitsky.

If you believed that ECW was an equal brand, forget it now because Chavo is 26. So a world champion wants to win a match to get a word title shot.

Morrison is out, and as Hornswaggle tries to pull another one out, Mark Henry pulls him in. Big V and Henry look ready to squash Horny, but Finlay comes in with shillelagh to pound them. The two boys in green leave, but haven’t been eliminated.

JR now tells us that Finlay is DQ-ed for jumping the gun. Don’t know about Hornswaggle. Burke is 28, so Triple H is still to come, and I guess Finlay was 27, because we’ve jumped a number. So much for lucky 27 this year.

Triple H is 29, so minimal workload for him, but there are a lot of midcarders to squash. Gone is Cody first of all. Gone is Big Titty V. Triple H and Foley hook up, and Trips throws him out, straight into Burke who gets taken out in the melee. Batista got a spike from Umaga a few minutes ago and is still on the floor. I also missed CM Punk getting eliminated.

Number 30 is...........John Cena!! Everyone is stood back and watching, as Trips stands mid ring. Still mixed reaction for Cena, but its getting more positive as he throws out Chavo, Carlito and Henry.

Cena nd Trips get it on with Trips hitting a spine buster. Umaga, Kane, Kennedy and Batista are the only ones left. Except Hornswaggle I guess. Good god.

Batista eliminates Kennedy and Umaga, then Batista and Triple H throw Kane out. Fast eliminations, and its Cena, Triple H and Batista remaining.

If anything, I think the crowd is behind Cena. They are certainly rabid for the staredown. Each man does their ‘taunt’, and Triple H’s crotch gets the biggest cheer. Shut up, I meant a DX crotch chop.

This now resembles a triple threat, with Batista getting the upper hand. He Spinebusters Cena then counters a pedigree into one as well.

Cena backdrops out of a powerbomb and Triple H clotheslines Batista out.

Cena and Triple H. Wow I never saw this coming. This really is awesome. Nice spot as Trips points to the Mania sign in the arena. This is superb stuff but I’m terrified that they are going to do something with Hornswaggle.

Fistfight ensues and the crowd are behind the Game, firmly. Cena does a 5-knuckle, and I think JR called it as being like Van Hammer???? Each man counters the other’s finisher and we get a double clothesline. Both men down.

Trips runs at Cena on the tropes, but Cena gets his feet up. Cena tries to FU Trips out of the ring, but counter and a DDT by The Game.

Game puts Cena on the shoulder and tries to haul Cena out. Cena escapes and looks for the FU again. Triple H escapes but Cena gathers him up again. FU to the outside. Cena wins the Rumble.

CENA WINS THE RUMBLE.

I can’t believe I just typed that.

Fabulous Rumble match. Magnificently booked throughout, and if I have any gripes it’s that a few people were made to look very average indeed (Kennedy didn’t do much, Shelton lasted about 30 seconds, Chavo eliminated Punk) but generally fantastic.

The undercard of this PPV was a big letdown, but the main attraction was terrific. The Undertaker and Michaels elimination spot was handled very well indeed. The legends face off was pretty cool, and the crowd was ultra hot. In one way you’d like to have more than one Rumble a year, but it would lessen the impact. It truly is a great event.

Now if the WWE can just learn to stop booking the general storylines so bloody predictably we could be on the way back. The talent IS there. There are a lot of people over as well.

Now that people are back fit after injuries, look at the roster. Triple H, Edge, Orton, Cena, Batista, Taker, HBK, Kennedy, Umaga, Punk, Rey, Flair, MVP, Hardy. All are over, most are talented.

I’m only giving this PPV 7 out of 10 because I thought for nearly two hours that it was pretty poor. The Rumble match saved it.

I’m really looking forward to Raw, and will try to do a live recap of it if I can for you.

Royal Rumble preview

Ah, the Royal Rumble. Is, was and ever shall be my favourite ‘concept’ Pay Per View, and just chock full of great moments, some of which we have been living in the blog. It is obvious that I’m not going to be able to get through all the past Rumbles before this Sunday’s show piece, but I shall continue to do the retro reviews, and once I’m done with that, we may as well get started on Wrestlemania, I think!

Anyway, looking at this year’s event, and frankly, though I don’t say this very often, it looks a mouth-watering card. It’s very easy for people to sniff at WWE booking, and lord knows I do it enough, but as fans we should appreciate a positive when it comes along, and this has the potential to be just that.

Of course, we have had our expectations shattered before. But with a strong undercard and a loaded Rumble match we could be in for a hell of a night.

Worth paying attention to the match order here, potentially. The Jeff Hardy v Randy Orton match has been built up magnificently, and looks like the main event. Sometimes the Rumble match is on last, sometimes it isn’t, depending on the outcome. Look at 1997 which is the latest Retro Review – HBK in his hometown winning the title was the big babyface moment to round the show off. Put that in the middle of the show and end with Austin winning the Rumble and you change the complexion of the show.

I’d suggest that we see the Royal Rumble before Hardy/Orton then there is a stronger likelihood of Hardy going over, since you would think that to end with a huge babyface upset would be a better way of ending show than whoever wins the Rumble celebrating.

Will Hardy go over, that’s the tough one to call? Was he considered a real contender by us about 6 weeks ago? What about by the WWE hierarchy? I think that people misjudge the writing and booking sometimes, because I have seen loads of opinion pieces saying that the WWE are now looking at Hardy more seriously than before because of how the crowd have reacted in the last few weeks. What that argument conveniently forgets is that in the storyline Hardy earned his title shot by virtue of beating Triple H. Triple freaking H! Not a Beat the Clock, not a crooked GM making a match, but a clean pinfall victory over The Game.

I would suggest to you that if Triple H thinks enough of Hardy to job to him clean on PPV then Hardy may have been pencilled in for this monster push for longer than people think.

Jeff probably didn’t decide to Whisper in the Wind off the cage onto Umaga, or Swanton off the structure by himself, you know. That would have been written in as a device to raise his popularity, and it is working. The reactive forces within the WWE must now decide whether the reaction has exceeded expectations, met them, or fallen short. I think it is probably between the first two.

So does he get a run with the title? My gut reaction is that he won’t, but I certainly feel he should. One good Pay Per View will not arrest the slide that WWE has been experiencing, but this is an opportunity to open the year strongly, and we only have one more PPV between the Rumble and Wrestlemania, which has been the strongest show of the year in recent times. It certainly was in 2007.

There are three weeks after the Rumble until No Way Out which is scheduled to feature an elimination chamber match. Book a Smackdown superstar to win the Rumble go after the SD title. Have an elimination chamber match and book Trips to win. Stack the card with some other top matches and lets roll on to the six week build up to Mania.

I cannot see Jeff Hardy headlining Wrestlemania. I think they will go with Orton v Triple H, so let’s have Jeff beat Randy at the Rumble, and book a No Holds Barred contest at No Way Out and have Orton go over clean in a brutal one. That gives Jeff his big moment and spikes the crowd at the Rumble, and still gets you towards the proposed main event at Mania.

If you look at the PPV you have Edge v Rey which should be good. The emotion around JBL v Y2J has been well built, and I suspect this will not stop at the Rumble. Ric v MVP also has emotion and I’d expect both men to step up here and produce a good one. Then of course you have Jeff and Randy.

A big problem could come with clean finishes. Perhaps Ric will beat MVP on a DQ or count out so that he doesn’t retire and Porter keeps his belt. Edge could well have Chavo and Vickie help him screw Rey out of the belt. And Y2J and JBL might well go to a no contest to prolong the feud. Having 3 non-clean finishes may hurt the PPV, but having Jeff win a belt would probably temper this.

I’ll give my individual thoughts on each match, and tell you who I think will win and how I would book it. They will likely not correlate.

Ric Flair v MVP
I’ll be honest, I’m not really that drawn in to the whole Flair is Retiring angle, though I appreciate its value. The problem this I think most people seem aware that it will likely go to Wrestlemania, pending a huge swerve which would be completely self defeating. Therefore the heat isn’t so big. However much MVP has improved, Ric isn’t going to have his last match against him. However, the angle thus far has allowed Ric a little more mic time, which is of course where he shines.

Ric is not going to retire at the Royal Rumble next week. He may not even retire at Mania, but it ain’t gonna be end of his journey just yet. Mania might be Space Mountain, this isn’t even the Ghost Train at the local Carnival.

I predict: Ric to win by DQ
I would Book: a real shocker. I’d maybe channel the spirit of Dusty to put in a dodgy finish. I’d book MVP to win this 1-2-3 and retire Ric Flair..........until Raw. I’d have Ric have a leg under the ropes which the official wouldn’t see, and so on Raw the decision could be somehow reversed, perhaps by a one night only return of Linda McMahon. Make Raw a tribute show to Flair, look back at his career and say how fitting that he lost at MSG, home of champions. This would put the younger viewers firmly aware of the storied career of Ric Flair. I’d have HBK and Triple H speak with Ric and plead with Vince to overturn the decision. Ric, however, would show dignity and not beg, but accept it with pride. I’d then end the show with Linda McMahon giving the announcement that he is exonerated.

Y2J v JBL
I think that this match has been very sketchily built up. JBL coming back was portrayed as a bigger deal than it ought to have been, I think, and his demolition of Jericho went way over the top, making Bradshaw look too dominant over a guy that only a month or so ago was battling for the WWE title.

However, their promos have been superb, particularly Jericho’s last week on Raw, when he pitched it perfectly. It seemed heartfelt and intense, but without resorting to shouting and hollering and generally making it look false. It was a major league promo, a money promo, and I don’t think this feud will end at the Rumble.

I’m a little surprised that they booked a match, and didn’t put both guys in the Rumble, costing one another the win.

I predict: Y2J will win by DQ. JBL to get frustrated that he can’t put Jericho away, so ends up just smashing him with a chair or something. This then leads to a NO DQ match at Mania.

I would book: something largely similar, but I’d have a double count out or simply a no contest. Just have the pair of them fight up the aisle and in the crowd and so forth. I wouldn’t be too concerned about the in ring action, but I’d have Jericho hit JBL with some serious punishment as a receipt for what JBL did to Jericho on Raw the other week. This gives Jericho the upper hand in terms of dominating on the night, but not giving either man the clean win just yet.

Rey Mysterio v Edge
Likely to be a **** match or thereabouts. Edge rarely has a bad match, and if Rey Mysterio is on and they add a touch of decent psychology then we could have a belter. I’m far from a huge Rey mark, as I felt his initial title run was to begin with implausible and then distinctly mismanaged. I also think he is a bit of a spot monkey. Don’t get me wrong, he is entertaining an hugely talented, but not always my cup of tea.

However, Edge is fantastic in the ring and I think the strongest hand that the WWE has right now. He deserves to be in the main event at Wrestlemania, and barring injury he likely will be.

I predict: Edge to win, probably with a little assistance from Vickie and/or Chavo and/or the Edgeheads . Hopefully not much more than a distraction.

I would book: Edge to win cleanly. I don’t see a problem with booking heels to be quality wrestlers who are hard to beat. I’d make it close so that Rey doesn’t lose face (mask?) and perhaps makes a bad decision, rather than getting outclassed, but since I would be trying to book this Rumble very strongly because of reasons explained above, I’d try to have the main title encounters go over clean, especially since I don’t see this feud going any further.

Jeff Hardy v Randy Orton
Very little to add after the thoughts added above really.

I predict: Orton will win. And I think they’ll do it cleanly as well. I’m almost predicting so that I don’t mind being wrong, but I just don’t see them putting the belt on Jeff yet. I also think that if Triple H is to regain the title at Wrestlemania, he won’t want Orton dropping it in order to regain it, just to lose it to The Game.

I would book: Hardy to win. I’d switch it back at No Way Out, but I’d give Jeff his moment (three weeks) in the sun. He’s worked for it, he is best superstar to watch at the moment, and he is so over it is incredible. Let him have a run.

The Royal Rumble Match
It’s a strange sort of Rumble line up, this. There are lots of people who could win, but not many who you’d say would win.

Time to breakout the patented McNichol Eliminator v2.0 - I’ve gone through the confirmed entries and listed 8 candidates below, including people that might take it as a surprise.

A Mystery Entrant – The official website at WWE.com lists 24 entrants thus far, and as I recall from reading Smackdown spoilers there is no other entry, unless Jimmy Yang being Domino was a qualifier. Even then, I don’t think he would be on the shortlist.

One of the extra entrants might well be CM Punk, who I’ve listed below separately. Filling up the list are likely to be the odd mid-carder from somewhere in the company, returns of former stars for the nostalgia pop (see Honky Tonk Man in the past) or maybe those that have signed new contracts.

The last example includes, of course, such names as Ron Killings, Chris Harris and Big Show. The latter is the most likely to show up. This is mainly because he doesn’t need any build up, and will be recognisable from his music. Harris and Killings, firstly are not guaranteed to have signed, and even if they had I think WWE would try to build their characters using vignettes rather than ploughing them into the Rumble straightaway.

I can’t see the Big Show or any other surprise winning the day, even if that is a wildcard like Hogan or someone. Or maybe it’s a conspiracy to bring back Lashley!

CM Punk – Now this would be a shock, especially since he hasn’t really been pushed to the moon since his arrival, even though he was given the ECW strap. At this stage he is surely not ready to go to a Main Event at Mania, although it is good to see him being pushed to matches with the likes of Edge. I’m interested in him losing the belt, wondering whether this means he will switch brands.

Umaga – I wouldn’t think the Samoan Bulldozer is the most likely candidate to win, especially since main eventing Mania would probably involve, you know, talking and stuff.

However, look for him to have a good run, probably into the last 4 or 5, with it taking one of the big guns to get rid of him.

Mr Kennedy – its been a hell of a year for Young Kenneth. Winner of the Money in the Bank Ladder match at Wrestlemania 23, he looked destined for a big year, but injury and stupidity have held him back. He couldn’t help the first one, but he could have kept his big mouth shut about not taking steroid before being suspended for exactly that.

However, that big mouth is probably the best asset of Ken Kennedy-Kennedy (KKK? Ouch) because he is perhaps the best talker around at the minute. He is in the frame, I would expect a decent run for him, and you should remember that when he won the Money in the Bank he promised to hold it back until Wrestlemania to cash it in. They obviously had it in mind that he could be at the level they wanted by this March. If you are thinking they’d hold him back because of his misdemeanours, remember who is in the main event at the Rumble.

Not this time, Kenny boy, but soon.

Batista – Hmm. The Animal is one of 4 previous winners in the contest, and it is these four who are likely to be the four most likely to take this contest. I have it in my mind that the winner will be from Smackdown, not only because the Elimination Chamber match is supposed to be a Raw main event (Trips, Hardy, Jericho, JBL, Kennedy, HBK?) but also because it seems likely that Triple H will be the contender at Wrestlemania for the WWE title, and you could see Vince and co. spending longer trying to halt his progress.

Batista is on the shortlist, without a shadow of a doubt.

Undertaker – And so is the Deadman. The biggest albatross round his neck is that he won last year, and it isn’t very creative having him win twice. The other people who have won twice were the hottest properties in the business – Hogan being everything about the WWE in 90/91, HBK being the biggest rising star in 95/96, and Stone Cold rising through the Stratusphere (not Trish) in 97/98 – Undertaker is not exactly a new, up and coming star. Rather, he is the most established star in the company. He is one of the most over and he has existing issues with Edge.

I would like to think that as this business is all about entertainment and not really about achievements, that Undertaker would relinquish the Wrestlemania streak. And who better than Edge, with his own Mania streak, to be put over the Deadman on the biggest stage of all? Taker is at the stage where one defeat doesn’t really hurt him, but beating him means a lot to his opponent. The above scenario is not beyond possibility.

Shawn Michaels – Aiming to be the second man to win this three times in his career, HBK was second to Taker last year, and has had a decent year, bringing John Cena through some belting matches in their programme, and is part of a entertaining series Kennedy. They have had some interesting battles, but too many matches for this programme to go to Mania. JR even called their Raw match this week a ‘rubber match’. I think their programme could be over, so perhaps HBK could be back in the title picture.

The thing is, there is no reason for him to go after Edge, and I can’t see the babyface combo again this year if it were to Jeff Hardy, and he has had extensive exposure to Orton. Add all this into the equation with my theory about Raw guys, and I’d say HBK will not win

Triple H – Very dependant on the involvement of Mr McMahon and co and of course the path of Randy Orton, but Trips would be the most likely to scupper my “Smackdown will win” theory. Not much can be said about Triple H that hasn’t already been said, but I really think his issue with Vince will drag on and he’ll win in the chamber.

The Verdict:
I desperate want to say anyone but the man I will predict, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to go with what everyone seems to be saying. Simply looking at the most likely scenario, The Undertaker has to be the selection here. Taker v Edge makes sense, Batista v Edge doesn’t. The Raw spot looks like being Triple H, and of course into the equation has to come the Elimination Chamber.

I’d love to see a Kennedy or a Punk come out of nowhere to win (although I think Punk could be in line for the Money in the Bank briefcase this year) but I really can’t see it.

I think it should be a great event. If I wasn’t excited before writing this, I certainly am now. I’m be watching the event live and will provide my usual as-live commentary, typically posted within minutes of the event finishing.

Enjoy the Rumble
Rob

No Mercy live notes and reaction

01.02am

No Mercy is underway, and after a opening video sequence featuring Cena, Orton and a dove (religious symbolism, maybe another allusion to Jericho?) here comes Mr McMahon and William Regal.

Straight to business with the ‘Cena is out’ announcement. Usual mixed reaction.
Vince says he is going to give us what we want.......

A huge moment follows. A huge “Y2J” chant erupts in the arena. Vince says, in direct response “I’m not going to give you that.” Hmm, interesting.

A double blow in the opening minutes, as Vince now awards the belt to Orton. See that makes so little sense it’s unbelievable. But he did say there will be a title match. Meanwhile, as I ponder, Randy parades the belt to the fans, and gets a mixed reaction, probably more positive that Cena has been getting.

Regal tells Orton that he can choose his opponent. Oh right, that sounds realistic. Can you imagine that in Boxing? “Here you are Muhammed Ali, you’re the champ. Who do you want to face? Ken Norton, Lister, Foreman, Frazier?”

“Fuck, no. I’ll take on a shitty cruiserweight.”

Oh, shit, its going to be Hornswaggle isn’t it?

01.12am

After Orton rags on Cena for being injured, he states that no-one can come close to him and is interrupted by...............?

Brooklyn Brawler!

No, I’m sorry, it’s Triple H.

Triple H basically asks Orton for match, gets refused, then turns to Vince to cut a “Roget Promo”. Boy does Trips get some use out of that Thesaurus. Let’s see an excerpt from it.

Coward: yellow, spineless, gutless, no balls, weak.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley: Triple H, HHH, The Game, The King of Kings, The Cerebral Assassin.

Weapon: Sledgehammer..............I’m out.

01.18am

The shit is on! Remember the slow build to Wrestlemania with Triple H and Orton? They lasted 14 minutes. Vince caves to Triple H’s ‘mind games’. It’s Orton v Triple H for the belt. Common sense dictates this will be a count out or DQ finish. Why? Well, otherwise, why give the belt to Orton in the first place? If he is to lose clean, then they may as well have asked Orton to choose his opponent in the match for the vacant title, rather than give him it and then have him pick a contender. (which, of course, he didn’t anyway.)

01.22am

JR pimps Trips as a ten-time champion. Which makes me think of Ric Flair. Maybe part of Flair’s last big run, and the real history making moment, will be a Flair return, and indeed heel turn, costing The Game?

01.30am

So what do I know? On about 12 minutes, Triple H with a schoolboy rollup and The Game is the champ. This match was outstandingly booked. I know Chicago crowds are almost always hot, but they were so into this it was unbelievable. The psychology was terrific with Orton playing the battling champ shocked at the match being made, Triple H as the rampaging face on a mission.

Orton sold like a madman here, almost as if the guy he was facing was going to be his boss someday.

Oh, right.

Anyway, terrific opening half hour. But what about Umaga?

01.36am

After the unannounced title match, here comes a “bonus match”. Six man tag action coming our way, and its seems that Jeff Hardy and Londrick are together once again. Out come Cade & Murdoch, and they announce their new and improved partner. Mr Kennedy.

It seems that the Tag Team Champions realised that their former, short lived partner, Shelton Benjamin, has won like one match in two years.

This should be a good’un, and surely will be a lead in to a Hardy/Kennedy programme.

01.39am

After chanting for Y2J earlier, the Chicago crowd begin this match with a chant for their hometown boy CM Punk.

01.42am

Brian Kendrick just did the most original fall to the outside I’ve seen in ages. As Kendrick ran the ropes, Trevor Murdoch actually stood on the bottom rope and lifted the top. Brilliant stuff.

01.44am

Lawler mentions the ‘Stein. 44 minutes to beat next time, King.

01.48am

Another cracker ends with a fantastic series of moves to end it. Kennedy off the top with a Green Bay Plunge to London. Terrific 6-man match with some of the best talent in the company at the moment, in terms of character and quality.

01.50am

Backstage, the obligatory cross-over is here, with Triple H and Batista, now Smackdown and Raw champs respectively, with a history between them of course. Generic waffle ensues, before Triple H walks into Vinny Mac. Basically, Vince tells The Game that he’ll still face Umaga tonight, and its for the belt. Yes, score one for continuity.

01.52am

ECW title match is on. Pepsi v Peptic Ulcer.

01.55am

Well that was quick and pointless. Punk wins by DQ after a weak-ass interference from Matt Striker. Big Daddy Mabel destroys Punk after the match.

So after a great start, the Chicago crowd are simply not allowed to enjoy their hero in action. The aftermath of watching replays and seeing Punk stagger away form the ring actually goes longer than the match. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad this wasn’t a long match and all, but that was staggeringly pointless.

01.59am

For some reason, they are plugging the MVP/Matt hardy combo facing The Brothers of Destruction next week on Smackdown.

02.01am

Oh, that’s why. Another competition. Tazz is in the ring, for a pizza competition between MVP and Matt Hardy. I’d criticise the pointlessness, but here comes Melina and Maria, who make anything worth tuning in for. So, I’ll hold back my instincts to complain.

02.03am

MVP is very confident it seems? Wearing white to a pizza contest?

02.08am

MVP and Hardy jaw jack for a while, and Tazz shuts them up. He doesn’t want them talking tough, thats not extreme. He wants them to eat pizza. Tazz, you fought Sabu, you went through a ring with Bam Bam Bigelow. They better be paying you well for you to be commentating on a pizza eating comp.

02.12am

Yeah, MVP and Hardy are entertaining, and this segment could have been worse, but ECW got 6 minutes for a title bout (the match going 3) and Smackdown get more than 10, basically to work up to a vomit joke.

Oh, I was right about the white clothing by the way.

02.16am

A promo hyping Umaga v Triple H has just aired.

Lillian begins the announcements for this match in the 77th minute of the show. So far, the amount of pre-announced material used so far has totally a paltry (and uninteresting) 6 minutes.

02.23am

I feel deflated, and it seems so does the live crowd. The Game got nowhere near the same reception as earlier, and the tension just feels non existent for this one.

02.27am

And it’s over. So is any expectation of The Undertaker v Umaga, if that is to happen, being an exciting programme. This unstoppable Samoan monster can’t beat a man who only returned from injury a month or two ago, and who had a supposedly gruelling 12 minute match earlier on in the night.

Triple H wins with the Pedigree in about 10 minutes. Are you surprised?

02.31am

Punjabi Bischoff tells us that Khali is meditating. Oh, I thought he was asleep. Damn, I wish I could tell the difference between sleeping and meditating. I tell you what, to make it easier, I’ll assume that when the Prison make comes on, the crowd are all ‘meditating’.

02.33am

Oh my god. Security better protect the wrestlers, it seems a komodo dragon has got onto the stage. I thought you got them in the south Pacific, not Illinois.

Oh, no, wait its Rey Mysterio with a mask on, hiding his err, other mask.

Anyway, he’s here to meet Finlay, and I’ve been looking forward to this one.

02.46am

I don’t know whether to be impressed or appalled.

Short reprise. Rey Mysterio dropped a leg on Finlay, when he was hanging over the bottom rope. Finlay fell backwards to the floor, in a legit stiff bump. The ref checked on him, it looked like a work. When the ref wasn’t looking, Finlay looked up as if playing possum.

Then referee Jim Korderas threw the dreaded ‘x’ sign. The ‘x’ sign should be sacred. That should be the symbol that all is not well. Not some kayfabe bullshit, but when something is seriously wrong.

It was effective. I would imagine the live crowd didn’t see Finlay glance up as if he was ok. They bought the injury and the sell job Rey did of looking concerned. They even chanted Finlay.
The Irishman then jumped from his stretcher, neck brace and all, and attacked Rey. The crowd chanted “Finlay sucks”.

You know you come out here and you talk about your Psalms and your Rey 619? Well Finlay 619 says I just fooled the marks.

02.49am

What do you know? Another ‘mysterious’ futuristic video aired. I definitely saw something saying 2nd Coming in there, and it also looked like rev.212 was in there to me. As was Save_US.222 again. Of course this will soon be doing the rounds and probably on the WWE too. I still think it isn’t cut and dried to be Jericho. Hart Foundation and HBK still possibilities.

Incidentally, did you read the “Savior Self” info that 8.2.11 was in there? If you take the numbers to be letters, where 1 = A, 2 = B and so forth that 26 = Z, 8.2.11 would be HBK.

However, as a note, Cyber Sunday is advertised as being on 10.28.07 (28th October). Times? Well it starts at 8pm Eastern US time. The show is in Washington DC, which is on Eastern Time.

What if 8.2.11 means 8pm until 11pm? i.e. the timings on Cyber Sunday.

And what if rev.212 and Save us.222 means that 2 hours and 12 minutes into the show something will happen, and ten minutes later, at 2 hours 22 minutes, so does something else.

Something to ponder

02.50am

Guess what? We’re having a rematch. Orton has invoked the rematch clause – tonight. I’ll give them credit. There are some nonsensical events occurring tonight, but considering Cena’s injury was 6 days ago, that’s some good storyline writing to keep the action rolling on.

02.57am

There goes another title change. Beth Phoenix destroys Candice and actually shows a flair for cutting a promo too. The match was instantly forgettable, of course, but I’m just thankful that the belt is finally off of Candice. I’m sure she is a lovely person, but she is not, repeat NOT, Trish Stratus.

03.00am

It appears to be Punjabi Prison time. Cue usual build up video and entrances.

03.10am
Yep, that took ten minutes. Ten minutes of generic clips, waffle from Michael Cole (breaking a world record for saying the word ’structure’) and horrible Batista promos.

And thirty seconds in, Khali goes his caught in the ropes spot. I know you learned it from Andre, Khali, but every time?

03.12am

The viewing of this match is greatly hindered by the masses of bamboo on the (say it with me, Cole) structure. I don’t mean hindered, do I? I mean improved. I can hardly see the shambles inside the ring.

If Batista is an unidentified ‘Animal’, why doesn’t he be a Giant Panda tonight? Then he can eat the bamboo and escape.

03.21am

JBL says this match like a scene from Jurassic Park. Funny, I don’t remember the bit where Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neill show no athletic ability and get out of the raptor cage.

Or maybe he meant the bit where they find the dying Triceratops. “That is one big pile of shit.”

03.24am
Well, it’s finished, mercifully. I suppose considering the limitations set with this match, it wasn’t a letdown. But then how can you be let down if your expectations are rock bottom.

Oh, Batista won, by the way.

03.33am

Orton v Trips Last Man Standing match is underway. The back story is now that Triple H has bad ribs and that Orton can capitalise.

03.53am

Wow. We have a new champion. Well the old new champion. The one that was new, but not the newer new champ, I mean the new old new one. Err, Orton won anyway.

That was a fantastic match. Absolutely superb. It wasn’t Hart/Bulldog from Summerslam or Savage/Steamboat at WM3, but a brilliantly told, to-and-fro battle, with twists, false finishes and served to make both men look good.

03.55am

And we’re off the air. As near to the full 3 hour pay per view as we’ve seen in a while, and I’d probably venture the best PPV of the year except for Wrestlemania. Yes, the ECW match barely registered, and the Punjabi Prison match was torturous, but the storytelling of both Orton/HHH matches was top notch, and remember this is a last minute rewrite show. They’ve saved Jericho (or whomever) for the future. (I’d bet big money on Cyber Sunday)
No Mercy? Oui, Merci.

A new champion plus the possible return of Y2J? Oh, have Mercy!

I can’t recall a build up to a WWE PPV, or indeed any pro wrestling event, anything like the one building up to this week’s No Mercy event.

A brief history lesson, as if you need one, would involve modules detailing the tragedy of Chris Benoit, the subsequent steroid scandal and resulting suspensions, and the injuries to several big name stars.

Two weeks ago, we had a fairly standard card building up – a predictable third go-round for John Cena and Randy Orton, a Batista v Khali Punjabi prison match, and Rey Mysterio and Triple H continuing their rehabilitation and mega-pushes.

Then a video aired. A matrix-like vignette featuring several coded messages which appeared to point to the return of Chris Jericho was seen on RAW nearly a fortnight ago. It is known as the Save_US.222 video.

The following RAW, the last before No Mercy, saw not only a follow up video entitled Savior_Self, but an injury to a wrestler. Not just any wrestler, but the WWE champion. Not just any WWE champion, either. The WWE Champion for over a year. The alleged ‘most controversial champion ever’. John Felix Anthony Cena.

So we go to a PPV, which I strangely feel really excited about Chris Jericho and the main event. I don’t know if Y2J is going to be there, nor do I know the main event.

I’ll try to give you my thoughts, match by match.

Candice Michelle v Beth Phoenix
I’m going against the grain here. All and sundry are predicting that the Glamazon will take the strap but I’d say that it’s the old bait-and-switch we are used to seeing with John Cena. Build up the monster heel competitor for the plucky babyface to beat, only to find no-one really wants the alleged babyface to actually conquer. Heart says Beth, but head rules – Candice to win.

Finlay v Rey Mysterio
This will likely be the best match of night, and typically I’d just say that Rey will go over because, well, you know, he’s Mysterio. However, the wildcard here is JBL. The Smackdown Colour man has been the antagonist for this, apparently still harbouring a grudge against Mysterio, so if Rey does not go over, it can only be because of JBL’s interference. I’m still going to go with a predictable win, though, with perhaps Finlay and Bradshaw attacking Rey post-match. Mysterio to win.

Triple H v Umaga
Obviously Triple H is the golden boy, but the WWE are high on Umaga, so the only way out I can see here is a Triple H win via DQ. A Vince McMahon-inspired beatdown I think is likely, with Umaga still looking like a savage monster and Triple H being a cross between Jesus and Robocop.

CM Punk v Big Daddy V
You see, I’d say that there is no way they’d put the belt on a guy like the former Viscera, but this is the often farcical ECW, where a tournament between 4 men was held to find the number one contender. It was a really good concept, so they went and ruined it by having it won by someone who wasn’t even in it.

It’s like a flashback to the heady days of King Mabel, the glorious summer of ’95 when Nash was stinking up title matches left, right and centre. Except here we have a champion with talent and a flair to put on good matches. Only they thought, to hell with that, we’ll put the up-and-coming CM Punk in a match with an obese veteran with little discernable talent or heat.

Anyway, I’ll say Punk to win, because I can’t bear to say that V might beat him. It’ll be short and not sweet.

Batista v Great Khali
A Punjabi Prison match. Hmm. Do you remember the first one? The first Punjabi Prison was supposed to hold Khali and Undertaker captive within the structure. You see, Khali is from the Punjab, right?

Yep, well it featured Taker and the Big Show. Basically because Khali couldn’t be trusted to be in a match of such importance. (oh wait, no, he had ‘elevated liver enzymes’) So here we are, 15 months later, with Khali the former champion looking to retain the gold.

Rumour has it that Cyber Sunday will see Undertaker v Mark Henry v Great Khali v Batista, so maybe a spot of interference by Henry and the Deadman will be in order. If not, I’ll take Batista to scrape through.

WWE Title.
Fuck knows.

Seriously, how can I elaborate, I don’t know the match will be?

Oh ok then, I’ll say that Randy Orton will likely win it. I don’t think that’s really sticking my neck out, is it? Considering he was touted to beat Cena anyway, and have a long programme with Triple H.

The big question is whether Jericho will appear. I doubt it, because I think they’d want to drag out the Save_US/Savior_Self campaign for a little longer, probably until Cyber Sunday.

The type of match? Maybe a match where former champions are eligible, so then Kane and Undertaker could join in? Perhaps a battle royal or even a Royal Rumble-like match?

You have a few major RAW superstars that are currently without a match. Jeff Hardy, Mr Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito. And over on Smackdown, Kane, Taker, Matt Hardy , MVP, Mark Henry and (whisper it) Ric Flair are without anything to do.

Hopefully it’ll be a chance to have some fun, and really create some memories.

This has been a really tough time for the WWE, I prey they make this a good show. My faith is waiting to be restored.

Quick Raw Thoughts

Just got through watching RAW for Sept 4th – the first show after the announcement of suspensions.

So did this help us decide who may be gone? A little, but not entirely.

The names from Raw that were rumoured to be on the hitlist, in one way or another, were Mr. Kennedy, Intercontinental Champion Umaga, General Manager William Regal, Randy Orton, King Booker, Santino Marella and Charlie Haas.

So how did they all get on………….?

Mr. Kennedy: - Well, until the last 15 minutes or so of the show, Kenny Kenny was nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately, I had got wind of a little spoiler of the show, which was tape this week, so when the quartet of McMahons were chatting away in the ring, I knew he must show up at some point. Otherwise I think I might have popped privately for when he came through the curtain.

Well, anyway, he gave a great performance vocally, as per usual, where it was basically announced that he is not in fact Vince’s son. (we should find out next week). But that was basically a near certainty, really, that he would be the bastard son. That he isn’t has to taken as a sign that we won’t see him any more in this storyline.

Umaga: - The Samoan Bulldozer actually pulled a double header in the ring, and was all over the show. Not, I was thinking, the ideal way to de-push the man.

The IC title match was ok, but I felt the finish was weak. For an unstoppable savage, falling off the top rope and getting winded seemed a bit feeble to me. It strikes me that a small package or the like might have served the purpose better. Jeff Hardy didn’t come off as a strong character, and Umaga just came off as a bit clumsy and unable to fight being winded. If Jeff rolls him in an inside cradle, then at least it looks like Umaga was simply outsmarted. And Samoan savages don’t regularly win Mensa contests.

The last match on the show saw Umaga team up with Carlito for a meaningless handicap match Triple H, where a quick DQ ensued, but ended up with Umaga being destroyed by The Game, a chair, and, you’ve guessed it, a sledgehammer.

This all makes perfect sense. Umaga will serve his 30-day suspension, and return in four or five weeks to destroy Triple H. A Triple H and Umaga programme makes sense for two of the biggest names on Raw, possibly with Umaga being used as Vince’s hired gun again.

William Regal: - Regal was also featured significantly in the show, but not in his usual comedic role. Cena destroyed him after the GM showed a little compassion towards Randy Orton (more on him in a minute). Coach will fill in for a few weeks, then Regal will return when “fit again”. Possibly as more of a heel, trying to stack the odds against Cena.

Randy Orton:- It looks as if the WWE’s Teflon man is at it again. I never saw Orton compete when I was at the Raw show in London because he’d caused a ruckus in a hotel room in Italy. He didn’t get suspended or fired then.

He’s certainly been caught by the Wellness Policy in the past, and was implicated in the scandal here. Now, not that anyone else has officially been sanctioned, it seemed pretty clear from the way Raw went that several people are in trouble. Orton was advertised as being in the main event for the next Pay Per View. Seems he is safe.

Other have taken this quite badly. Seems it’s quite a kick in the teeth.

King Booker: - Jury out. Booker was wrestling in the main event last week, he wasn’t on the show at all this week. He doesn’t have an injury as far as I am aware. He isn’t long back from an injury and does have a territory to book, so there may be extenuating circumstances. We’ll see.

Santino Marella:- I think he will be ok. Essentially, very few people care about him, so to continue, albeit minor, his association with Maria, as well as introduce a link with Sandman. He also said his arm was getting better and threatened Ron Simmons.

On the flip side, they could suggest that his arm got damaged again and it keeps him out for a month. If you forced me to stake money, I’d say he stays.

Charlie Haas:- Newsflash. Haas loses a match. In other news, Dog Barks, night is dark and The Warrior says something mental. Who knows?

I will try to update later in the week, and we’ll take a genuine look at the Vince’s kid angle.

Summerslam Live Notes

00.55am
Are you ready to partake of a PPV? The Biggest Partaking of the summer? Thought so. Hop in.

As usual, I’m here in the UK, with my laptop, writing live notes on the Pay Per View. For all of you watching in this in the states, remember your friend across the pond stays up until 4am for you.

I also make sure I stay completely sober and lucid so that I give a good account and also that I have to work in the morning. However, if Summerslam sucks, that’s it, I’m getting wasted next time.

01.03am
Well, the opening pyro is going off, and the video preview has aired. The build up still focuses on Triple H, who has the climb the mountain of a guy who has defeated, erm, a 50+ year old who wrestles on RAW about 4 times a year. Oh, and he punked out a non-wrestling 60 year old. The only more frightening bookers are the ones who write the damn stuff.

01.05am
And it’s Kane. Out to face Fit Finlay in the opener. Cole tells us that this started when Fit spilled coffee on Kane. Hang on, didn’t that happen to Kane before, with the caffeine dropper that time being Jericho?

No truth in the rumour that The Big Red Dentist retaliated by throwing hot tea over Finlay’s leg. Fit didn’t feel it, obviously.

01.15am
Not far off a ten-minuter, and a pretty darn decent opener. A genuine back and forth encounter with Finlay selling his ass off and also looking like a legitimate tough guy. Couple of fake finishes, clean finishes. No problems here.

01.20am
After a little backstage skit involving all the general managers, coach, Vince a lack of babes (“go get the scrubbers”) Santino Morella (“Every week I have to put up with that. Moron.”) and MVP, Vince goes to far.

He said……………….erm……he said……………..that…………….

He said English women are ugly. Listen, I know plenty of Americans. Many are fat. That doesn’t make them all fat. English women, on the whole, are no uglier than anywhere in the world. Except Sweden, they are all babes. Oh, and Holland. And maybe Norway.

When the WWE comes to Birmhingam here in the UK in October, and I will be there, I hope I get to interview one of the men involved. And I tell you what, if I was a more interesting persona and didn’t live such a sad existence, so that I actually had a girlfriend, then I’d show them a picture of her. Actually the last one was a bit of a dog, so that might be……oh, I’m mad, ok. Bloody annoyed, you get the idea.

01.27am
I spent a long time writing that rant, and the IC title match is underway. It has also pretty much followed the plan I outline in the preview earlier on today.

01.29am
So Kennedy nails Umaga with a monitor. OK. So it’s no DQ. So why don’t they all just go mental with chairs and shit.

01.31am
I just went to the website of Aka the Wild Samoan, apparently his class involves teaching fellow Samoans the ability to hit someone to make them fall in a sitting position against the turnbuckle. Only Samoans can do that, you know. Oh, and X-Pac, but he shagged Chyna, so he doesn’t count. For anything.

01.32am
Well, its finished, and strictly speaking I’m now 2 for 2 for predicting matchwinners, although I did think that Kennedy would not be the one to job. Weird booking to me, but anyway.

01.36am
So we are about to witness the return of Rey Mysterio, and Chavo is out. He is wearing a poncho with Warrior written on it. Warrior? Are you kidding? Rey’s back, Triple H is back, Taker is coming back, and now the Warrior?

Now on WWEShopzone, Sombreros with “Destrucity” written on them, Piñatas which break when you shake the ropes, and a talking doll that says “Queering don’t make the world work, Gringos.”

And here I was having a go at English stereotypes.

01.40am
The match is underway, and speaking of the Ultimate Warrior, Rey is covered in silver paint for some reason. Those crazy Mexican make up ladies. A hundred body paints. I bet they have a thousand masks. And a Million Mascaras.

01.50am
After the secret stipulation was completed (the match couldn’t end until Rey’s body paint had worn off) Rey Mysterio does the usual for a returning superstar. That is, kick out of an apparently unkickoutable (fuck off, I know it isn’t a real word, but its nearly 2 in the pissing morning, gimme a break) move, hit his big move after 3 attempts and get the win. In the big story of the evening, I’m 3 out of 3.

01.54am
Todd Grisham gets acted off the screen by a stuffed parrot before interviewing Booker T, who both annoys and kills me at the same time. He will beat Triple H apparently. Booker, you book your own territory, so does The Game. Work it out son.

02.00am
Divas battle royal time. Women get elimitaed here and there, but because WWE divas are only cast out of one mould, JR and King don’t really know who is being eliminated.

02.05am
The phrase I would choose to sum up the Divas Battle Royal is: Assisted Bumps.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I mean that the girls had to practically throw themselves out of the ring, or their surgically enhanced chests.

02.08am
Beth Phoenix’s celebrations (4 from 4, by the way) are interrupted by Monty Porter. Maybe this is the contest he was talking about challenging Matt Hardy to? Diva Fucking!!

Hardy is a veteran, of course – Lita, Ashley. Matt will beat him at that, and then win the most acrimonious break up contest.

Nah, its beer drinking. Or is it. Matt says he isn’t going to compete in a beer drinking contest. He has a substitute. Quicker than you can say “The Condemned is now available is retail store and bagain bins for a buck 99” the fans are chanting for Austin. (I’d piss myself laughing if its Sandman!)

And its…………….Gillberg!!!!

No, wait, its Austin. And he is psyched for the hardcore beverage consuming contest. Fuck fear, drink (light) beer. Ernest “The Cat” Miller Lite. No mic time for Austin, just a stunner and a celebration with beer.

The ring is now covered in beer, which is now reacting with the silver paint and starting to merge to form the shape of a human man from the future. No wait, that’s Terminator 2, isn’t it?

And Judgment Day was back in May.

02.19am
OK, I gave Cryme Tyme some stick earlier on. But I’ve got to say, getting Coach, Teddy Long and then Regal to circle Vince chanting “Money, Money, Yeah, Yeah” was a masterstroke. Round it off with that damn Simmons guy (not Richard) and that was a funny segment. Regal is the funniest (and Whitest) guy in the history of the WWE.

02.22am
ECW is on fourth last then – a ‘world’ title isn’t as valuable as Triple H’s return, which is fair.

I’ve just realized I haven’t commented much on match quality since the opener. Well, the IC match was average at best, Rey and Chavo was great, would have been excellent if could have gone longer (a lot to ask of Rey, though, admittedly) and the Divas battle royal was laughable.

Punk kicks out of a few early covers, but not because he wants to win, but because he daren’t lay on the beer stained mat for too long. He’s straightedge, you know, the alcohol might permeate into his body.

02.32am
Morrison retains (and the bastard ruins my undefeated streak) in the most pissweak ending of a title match in months. That was a shame, because up until the sham of a finish, this was a solid match. To the live audience, it doesn’t matter either way, because they appear not to know who either man was. At one point, a small “CM Punk” chant started up. I swear about 10,000 people then said “ah, that’s him. And other guy looks like that kid who used to be on Tough Enough.”

Tazz says that a great man once said “By any means necessary.” Yes he did, Tazzwell, but now that man only says “Damn”, and other homophones.

02.37am
After a fantastic visual where Booker poses in the aisleway and looks like his hair is on fire, and an announcement that JR might be bias – hope that guys who broke your arm gets his ass kicked, huh Jim? – here comes the returning Triple H, complete with 3 part theme music.

The intro included the “Gentleman, we can rebuild him.” I would say that about 4% of the WWE’s target audience actually get that reference. If you do, I hope you share with me the irony that the line in question was used for a character called Steve Austin.

Not the WWE’s Steve Austin either. Not the Bionic Redneck, but the Bionic Man. Or the Six Million Dollar man. Or are they the same guy? Anyway, I don’t mean Steve Williams. Not Dr. Death Steve Williams, the other Steve Williams.

The bell has gone, and Booker attacks………….

No, not Tiger Woods’ caddy Steve Williams, I mean the wrestler, who isn’t Dr Death. And not Dr Death the Batman Villain, nor Jack Kervorkian or Harold Shipman.

(If you don’t know who Jack Kervorkian is, then here is a random line from his Wikipedia page – “In the 1980s, Kevorkian wrote a series of articles for the German journal Medicine and Law that laid out his thinking on the ethics of euthanasia. fuckin bitch who does this kinf of shit. go to hell”. I’m not kidding, that’s what it says. Go take a look - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Kevorkian)

Anyway, its Triple H, not A Texas Rattlesnake, not Dr Death, not a Six Million Dollar man, not a golf caddy, not a killer medical practitioner.

Back to the match, and…………oh its finished.

Anyway, big entrance? Check. Dominant performance? Check. Kick out of a finisher (The Book End)? Check. Three attempts to hit his move (Pedigree)? Check. A win?

If you don’t know the answer to that, you are too stupid to live, to own a computer or to write for the WWE creative team.

02.52am
And if you thought the people were pumped up for the return of The Game, how excited do you think they’ll be for a Great Khali match?

02.57am
A video airs for the Smackdown Title match, and basically puts over the Indian Giant’s now vice grip move. Please, please, please let me see him do that move on Hornswoggle, That would be awesome.

03.08am
Did you know that the common Dormouse can breed once or twice a year, have a typical size of 2-3” and live about 5 years? Too boring? OK, how about the fact that the largest employer in Liechtenstein is a company that manufactures concrete fastening systems? Still boring?

OK, try this Batista won by DQ after Khali got bored (who didn’t) and hit The Animal with a chair. Still bored.

OK, here’s a hot chick. http://forum.football365.com/index.php?t=msg&th=385082

Am I forgiven? Good

Anyway, after a “boring” chant, Michael Cole announced that the fans were understandably irritated. JBL, at the close of the match, refrained from shouting ‘ball game’ and instead denounced the ending, stating that the fans deserve better. Bradshaw, my old friend, you are spot on.

As for my prediction, technically I was wrong, because I said Great Khali would win. But he did retain. Can I have a half point? If you let me have a half point I’ll give you another hot chick. I’ll wait to hear from you.

03.19am
Its time for the main event. The usual mixed Cena reception, but nothing too postive towards Randy either.

03.21am
King just dropped a Liechtenstein reference, I swear to God I did mine first!

03.24am
Maybe I was wrong – noticeable support for Orton. Say what you like about limited movesets for these guys and the superior talent of someone like Punk, Punk wrestled solidly for 10 minutes to no reaction. Orton got a headlock in then knocked Cena down with a shoulderblock and the roof nearly came off the Meadowlands.

03.41am
Orton just missed his big punt, and Cena has the STFU applied. Orton reaches the ropes. I just want to note know that I think Orton did a little Iron Sheik homage by tapping his boot on the mat three times.

03.42am
This just in from the Sheik:
“RandyOrtonjaghsnosdfndgbdswonkydonkeyfbkdskndsfbkjnculcbskdbcbslovealbatrossfnsdvfsvsasextyphoonfbdsdfbsdbfsbdstarofstallionfarmvvvvvsadsdldonkldsncsndcnsancsdncn” Or something.

03.43am
Damn it. Cena got the win. Not that I’m a huge Cena hater or an Orton mark. I just thought the time was right. I thought that match was decent. It had the big fight atmosphere, as JBL said (wrongly) about the previous match. I would liked to have seen a little more believable set of false finishes, because as soon as Randy hit the RKO out of the STFU, he played up an injury, meaning you knew Cena would kick out of the pin. 10 seconds later, it was over after an FU.

A better main event than I expected.

Predcitions were 5-3 tonight, and ironically the 3 I got wrong were all title matches!

Overall I thought that it was an average Pay Per View, better than a lot of ones we’ve seen this year, but that’s like saying stale bread is tastier than tree bark. Seeing Austin was cool, but for me every PPV needs two or three of that size of events. No-one turns face or heel, returns unannounced, or pulls off a miraculous result anymore. That’s the biggest problem. The match quality wasn’t, and generally isn’t high, but in the modern product, that is secondary to good psychology and entertainment. That is why the main event was good. It had the crowd completely into it and told a story.

Forced into a numbers rating I’ll go 6.5/10. Not fantastic, but passable, and much better than a lot of 4 or less out of 10 shows we’ve seen of late. Nowhere near Wrestlemania though.