Raw Thoughts - September 1

· Big reaction for the return of Randy Orton. I’m guessing partially because it’s his hometown, but it certainly isn’t for his theme music. That thing is horrible.
· What’s with the mood lighting? Is Orton now aligned with Kane?
· So was that a mini-spoiler, or something to put us off the scent? Orton confronting CM Punk could mean that Punk retains at least until Randy returns. Or it could be just a throwaway segment to remind us all that Orton exists.
· Cole has said Happy Labour Day three times in the opening fifteen minutes. I don’t even know what Labour Day is.
· JOHN CENA IS HERE!!! Except he isn’t, because it’s Charlie Haas doing a very passable Cena impression. His match with Kofi Kingston is short, and King and Cole laugh uproariously throughout. It’s funny, but not as much as they are making out.
· Good bit backstage with Orton firing up Rhodes and DiBiase – perhaps another tease. Remember the talk about a second/third generation faction with these three men and possibly others?
· So we have ECW superstars on Raw. The five men in the ECW scramble face off in a battle royal, but look at them. Finlay, Matt Hardy, Miz, Henry, Chavo. None of these men would be in the top 10 or so stars on Raw.
· Think about it (in no particular order) – Cena, Batista, Punk, JBL, Kane, Mysterio, Jericho, Michaels, Orton. At least nine way bigger than ECW.
· Six Diva tag action – but a very strange order in which they are introduced. Katie Lea and Jillian during the break, then babyface opponents Mickie and Kelly Squared. Next up was (back to heels) Beth, but the sextet (can’t believe King hasn’t thought of calling them a sextet before) is completed by Candice. I thought it was going to be Gail Kim.
· In seriousness, if Candice can continue her improvement before the first time she got injured, and you add her to Mickie, Katie Lea, Beth, Jillian Melina when fit again and Gail Kim when she debuts, that’s a pretty strong female roster. Kelly is improving, and over on Smackdown you have Nattie Neidhart and Victoria (don’t tell me Michelle is anything but awful, because she is, well, awful)
· The Honk-a-Meter may be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Santino is chasing the Honky Donkey Man. Classic.
· Err, Cole, if Randy Orton being on Raw was rumoured all day to appear on Raw, how was it a “huge surprise”?
· A win for the Italian Karl Pilkington is followed by a lying down trumpet celebration. Santino’s going in the Hall of Fame. He has to!
· Interesting Battle Royal for the Raw brand. Rey coming back post-match gave it a jolt and was a treat for his fans. Batista and Punk were booked cleverly, with The Animal dominating but taking a kick couple of hits to be eliminated. It didn’t make him look weak, but it did give Punk a boost by being the one to oust the big man. Kane winning, like Henry winning earlier, makes good common sense. I’d also go so far as to suggest that these two will definitely not win their respective scrambles on Sunday.
· Finally, more awesomeness from Michaels and Jericho to finish. For your homework assignment, go away and find me an example of a better “go home” interview segment. I’ll be impressed if you can produce one.
· Leaves a lot of things up in the air for Sunday. Could be a really good Pay Per View, but if the scrambles don’t work, then proceedings are hinging hugely on Jericho and Michaels coming through.

Raw thoughts – August 25th.

· Very little annoys me more in wrestling than having my intelligence insulted by them throwing out a title match in a PPV then showing the match itself on Raw 8 days later. I know Punk v JBL was not a title match, but still.........
· Is Cole not capable of saying head? He said that CM Punk had “an injured skull”. I didn’t watch Smackdown as often as I watched Raw, and I’m far from a huge lover of Jim Ross, but Cole is dreadful.
· I quite like the idea that Beth helps Santino but he hinders her.
· People will say that the “Charlito” thing was lame........but I liked it!
· Haha, the best line of the night, unwittingly – “You don’t know the meaning of the word ‘Unforgiven’” Shawn Michaels to Chris Jericho. I don’t think it’s a word, that’s why. My spell check doesn’t think it is.
· Another great Jericho and Michaels segment, although I hope that the frequent mentions of ‘Unsanctioned’ and “I don’t want to pin your shoulders to the mat” don’t mean that this is just a mad fight with no real consequence or a stupid JBL/Cena ending. These two could still carry off the extra emotion while still having a wrestling match. That being said, I do like the realism of them fighting rather than the idea of “I hate you and want to kill you – here’s an armbar.”
· By the way, I think that the (paraphrased) “Sit your wife and kids down and tell them that you will never be Shawn Michaels” is one of the best lines I have ever heard in wrestling. Michaels using his injury, the storyline and his Christian beliefs to throw in the bible reference “eye for an eye” is not far behind.
· Not going to complain too much about the match between Duggan/Lawler and Rhodes/DiBiase, but wouldn’t it have been better for the youngsters to dominate, rather than just survive. It wouldn’t have hurt Duggan and Lawler, would it? But King could then get on the headset and put over just how good they are. “You don’t realise until you get in the ring just how quick they are. They are jackasses but they can go.” Does them the world of good. I don’t see why Duggan and Lawler need protecting.
· I cannot help laughing at Santino, and it seemed the announcers were struggling to hold it together this week. After a front suplex he just shouted “I win” and I broke up. Just so funny.
· Really lame ending to the match though. Beth could’ve low-blowed Kofi for Santino to use a small package. Falling onto Santino’s knee (The Marella Patella) was a bit weak.
· Great post-match action though. “You’re not mad?”
· I didn’t like Mike Adamle coming out with no clipboard. If he is going to be stilted and need assistance he could use the clipboard to look at notes. But if he has it all the time they can make fun of him for it, make it a character quirk, like Santino’s unibrow.
· Adding Rey makes sense. If Cena is really injured, which is a real shame, and they are firm on Orton being miles away, then Rey is the only real choice.
· I liked seeing the leg worked in the main event, offering some logic behind Kane. Sort of a twisted genius, I suppose. The match went a little long though, considering we got a DQ finish. I don’t mind the finish, but it was a long investment for that kind of outcome.

Raw Thoughts for August 18th

A few ongoing notes from watching Raw.

- Jericho was superb again. How is he more menacing in a suit? Exiting with no music was also a great touch.

- King says twice that the Cena v Batista match was one of the best matches he has ever seen, and that Batista would surely think that it was his greatest match ever. Look, I know I was more critical than most about the match, and I am happy to hold my hands up and say that if people enjoyed it then it was a good match, but it just sounds ridiculous building it up to that status. It was good, but nothing more.

- Cole says “A buzzsaw of emotion”. I don’t know if he means the arena or Batista....or what. That’s probably because ‘Buzzsaw of emotion’ makes no sense at all.

- Nice way to make a new Raw roster member look important – by running away to speak to John Cena. Must make Primo Colon feel dead special.

- Cole and Lawler are so fake and empty together. It is just a constant stream of plugs for WWE.com, WWE magazine, other affiliates and so forth.

- The women’s match looked overly scripted to me – at least there were certain spots where you could clearly see one girl waiting for another to hit their mark. Just slowed the match down and lessened the reality feeling of the match.

- Now I am watching this in England and on Tuesday afternoon, so I am not going to change the channel, but it strikes me that flashing up the graphic that more viewers watched Raw last week than Monday Night Football is self-defeating. There must be people who would see that and then think “oh yeah, the football is on, I wonder what the score is” and switch over to see.

- JBL squashes Noble. Boring to watch, and frankly shows how little they think of CM Punk that he has yet to be seen after winning his biggest match so far – and the show is in his hometown.

- By the way, a completely nonsensical ending. The referee allows Jamie to get beaten down, but doesn’t allow the pin. What, lying on his back for three seconds is too much punishment. Just get down and count.

- Terrible Raw so far.

- Adamle with a clipboard actually looks good. Kind of gives him an authority – he should carry it everywhere.

- The new concept for the title is idiocy. The “Scramble” just sounds so desperate and bush-league, no matter how many times they call it ‘innovative’.

- Why did Shane and Stephanie make Adamle say it? Why couldn’t it have been his idea, just like the Elimination Chamber was Eric Bischoff’s? This isn’t an Adamle original?

- Was it me or did Lillian take ages to say the tag team champions’ names?

- I liked seeing Ted do his father’s fist drop. Nice touch.

- Why must every interesting tag team get killed before they have a chance to shine? If we are supposed to believe them beating a team of Cena and Batista, why are they in a handicap match with one of their previous opponents. Cena doesn’t need building back up, this just brings the champs down. I know the champs got a lot of offence in, but them losing was unnecessary.

- Jerry says that it’s obvious that Jericho didn’t mean to hit Rebecca Michaels last night. Not obvious enough to you to say different earlier in the show, King.

- It’s also obvious, from seeing the footage from after Summerslam, that HBK forgot the coat he took to the arena.

- How in the name of Clarence Mason does D-Lo Brown get a title shot? Oh wait, not he doesn’t – Cole screwed up.

- As pissed off as I am with this show so far, I can’t help but smile at Santino. God that man is awesome.

- Hey, I got to see Trish too. Albeit in a 24/7 clip. This show has risen to about 2/10 so far.

- The best bit of the show so far. Kane does a promo which serves a function. With nice lighting, he explains why he attacked Rey Mysterio. We are even treated to a bit of continuity, as Batista emerges to attack Kane for his comments. I like that, because Batista and Rey are acknowledged friends on TV. Suspect this means Kane v Big Dave next week.

- Hmmm. Not crazy about the main event outcome, but at least Punk lost to a man who deserves it – Jericho – and it wasn’t completely clean.

- Cole finishes with another ludicrous statement. He said that Jericho was “basking in his irreverent glory” which doesn’t really mean anything. Cole just throws word together. I’m expecting next week to hear something like “Kane is a congenital statement” or “look at John Cena – he is a conflicting example of serendipity” – just nonsense. Remember JR’s voice ending a Raw – I miss it.

Just such a poor, poor, Raw. I’m hoping to put my thoughts into words later in the week, hopefully on The Sun’s site.

Summerslam live notes

Summerslam Live

01.03am
We’re live for Summerslam, the biggest blockbuster of the summer. I’ve got my popcorn, I’ve sat through the trailers, there’s a bloke in front me getting in my way, and there’s a kid behind me kicking my seat and eating crisps loudly. Maybe I took this cinema thing too seriously.

01.04am
Jeff Hardy is out for the opener against MVP and Tazz is with JR on commentary. Still with the sell of the Mick Foley injuries. I speculated earlier today that Mick may appear in the HiaC match, but an online report says otherwise.

01.08am
There hasn’t been a bad build up to this, but it does seem at this juncture that the feud is over who has the best cornrows. You’d have to go with Montel, but then if he is that highly paid he can afford a decent stylist. Jeff’s house burned down, taking with it all his hair-care products.

01.16am
Well, I nearly got it right. I said that MVP would win by cheap means, and he sort of did. With Jeff set for a Swanton, Shelton Benjamin appears and Jeff dives onto him. The pause means he misses the swanton, and MVP hits the drive by kick.

No acknowledgment of Shelton by MVP – maybe a triple threat for the US title?

01.21
After more awesomeness by Santino, we have the combined IC and Women’s title match. No mention of Kofi’s countrymen winning medals, like the mention Michael Phelps got earlier. On refelction, probably because Ghana haven’t won anything.

Note in case WWE lawyers are reading. He is Jamaican. He’s called Kingston. It’s so obvious.

01.28am
Points to me. I went for Santino causing Kofi to me out of action and Beth to beat Mickie. OK match without being anything other than you’d expect. Santino absolutely spot on with his mannerisms, and a typical superb post match celebration. Beth carried Santino out on her shoulders, as he told the IC belt “I missed you.”

01.34am
Shawn’s out here with his wife Rebecca. He says that the Doc has told him to walk away. He says he will heed the advice of the docs. He’s explaining the reasons he is leaving, including virtuous reasons like being a good husband and father.

Meanwhile, though, we see a shot of someone in the crowd wearing a HBK hat. You read that right. Someone bought that horrible straw cowboy hat thing. Mind you, he has got a Spanish flag, and they dress in dopey matador outfits and wear sombreros so they are beyond salvation.

01.43am
Jericho comes out to confront Shawn, to claim that he is responsible for Shawn’s retirement, not a build up of injuries. They are in each other’s face, suitably angry, but in a tone that makes it look real. Full of emotion and such a great lesson that you don’t have to shout to get the point across.

Segment ends with Jericho getting the admission out of Michaels, but with HBK getting the vocal upper hand. As Rebecca tries to get Shawn to leave, Jericho swings, misses HBK and clocks Rebecca. Wow, she took that well. I don’t think there was contact, but she fell well. HBK plays the concerned husband rather than attacking Chris, and Jericho in turn looks concerned and embarrassed.

Just a wonderfully done segment. Tremendous stuff. I would think that this will be the impetus for HBK to reverse his retirement decision.

01.51am
Striker on commentary with Todd Grisham in the brand new line up, and I’m really pleased for Matt. I really enjoyed interviewing him last year, and although he basically had nothing interesting to say about his storylines an position in the company, he was a very funny, likeable guy, who I remember stating that he’d like to be a commentator. Pleased for him.

01.54am
Err........ok. ECW as an afterthought once again as Matt hits an early Twist of Fate, but Atlas pulls Matt out. The bell rings after less than 30 seconds and we have another piece of bullshit to further bury the ECW legacy.

Atlas continues to beat on Matt, before Jeff comes out to save him. Wow, that doesn’t make Matt look good. Not really sure what the point was of that. The Hardys suplex Henry on the outside, but it’s basically a farce. What was the point of that? Seriously.

02.02am
Decent reaction for Punk as we get the World Title match underway. Nice video package to help build this. This needs to be a decisive one for CM, because otherwise, if he can’t look good against JBL, how would he be against Cena or the like?

02.14am
Clearly not a priority match this one, and I’d simply describe it as functional. Punk gets the clean win he needed, and there was a sick clash of heads which may have caused this to finish a bit early.

02.18am
Looks like the other World title match is next, so they’ve really gone with the high-profile non-title affairs in the main event slots. Surely they’ll close with Undertaker and Edge.

02.33am
I am on a roll tonight! Triple H, as predicted, builds the attempts at the Pedigree during the match, but fails a couple of times. He hits it at the end to a huge – and I mean HUGE – reaction to win. Not horrific, certainly not as bad as could have been.

02.40am
Cena and Batista to get it on with 80 minutes of the show to go. I don’t think they’ll go right to the very end of the time, but if you allow for this to go twenty, and the show to finish at 3.45am, that still gives the Cell to be 45 minutes. Hmm. I’d expect a long, long main event.

02.56am
Right, plenty to say.

Firstly, I did not expect Batista to win that cleanly. My predictions, which were flying until now, take a hit, and I can’t decide whether or not I approved of the match or not. I quite liked the way it was booked, with a heavy emphasis on two things – on them trying to hit their signature move, and on each man trying to break down the other’s leg.

Seeing Batista break out a figure 4 was a surprise, as was a Rear Naked Choke, although the STFU was less of a shock. I was disappointed that the holds were put on very sloppily, though, so that some realism was lost. Both men wrestle very staccato, so can put on decent matches with great workers and ring generals like Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, but together they didn’t completely click.

The ending was decent though, and I suppose it is hard to criticise them for the effort very much. I thought the finish, after a couple of false ones, was pretty creative.

You have to look at where they go from here? A rematch so that Cena can even things up? Possibly. Punk is now free for action with someone, and Batista would be the logical number one contender, but they went at it on PPV and on free TV not long ago. I don’t know where Cena goes apart from back to JBL, which no-one wants to see. If Rey is with Kane, and Jericho v HBK continues, I’m lost for ideas.

03.20am
I was still typing when this match started, but we are not well into Edge v Taker, and Edge is well on top. I love Edge’s mannerisms in this, and this really has the big match feel – the first time tonight. Good so far, and props being set up indicate big stuff to come.

03.38am
Very, very good cell match. Very good indeed. Plenty of good, innovative spots. An Edge jump into Taker on the Cell wall broke the structure to allow for an Edge spear through an announce table after running over the other two.

A chokeslam through two tables that had been set up earlier was a nice touch, as was Edge missing Old School but Taker hitting a spear.

Plenty of false finishes (not helped by the referee’s lack of conviction on the third count) ensued before the end arrived – and it wasn’t simple. Chokeslam through tables, then the spear, then a camera broke over Edge’s head. One man con-chair-to next, before a Tombstone to finish. I’m all for Edge looking good, but thank God he didn’t kick out after all that.

Post match was a bit unnecessary, with Taker returning to the ring to Chokeslam Edge off of ladders through the ring, and the gap eventually going on fire.

Terrific main event though, and the really interesting thing to take out of the Pay Per View is that a lot of matches were blow off matches. Edge, Taker, Triple H, Cena, Batista, Punk, JBL – all looking for something new.

A pretty decent show. No terrible matches, just the abortion that was the ECW ‘contest’. Terrific main event to cap off a better than average PPV.

Summerslam Preview

Summerslam

The hottest night of the summer, the biggest blockbuster of the summer..............or the biggest letdown of the summer?

Tonight is Summerslam, which we are often told is considered to be the Number Two PPV on the WWE calendar.

To this end, they’ve hotshotted John Cena v Batista to feature in this card, with the very strange admission from Cena before the match was made that it should be at Wrestlemania, not Summerslam. As I noted in a previous commentary, I agree with this sentiment, and think they could have built a really decent Mania campaign. However, they haven’t, and I wonder if it may get lost in the sprawl. More on that in a minute.

It’s an odd card all round, really. The two biggest matches are not title contests, and these championship matches have been given a secondary position on the line-up. I can understand both pieces of booking, and would think they are for character development purposes more than anything.

Elsewhere there are a couple of bouts with possibilities to be good, bad or indifferent. It’ll be interesting to see which way they swing and what bearing they will have on the show.

Onto predictions and thoughts..........

Matt Hardy v Mark Henry – ECW Title
I thought I’d get this one out of the way. ECW has become such an afterthought that the only reason I can think of that ECW now exists (apart from the money it may make from syndication) is as a glorified development territory. Give some of the fellas you have nothing for some time in “The Land of the Extreme” and fill the rest of it with emerging talent.

Ricky Ortiz (Atlas DaBone) and Evan Bourne (Matt Sydal) are on the show now, and apparently, according to Teddy Long, there are still more to come. Perhaps Colt Cabana, having debuted last week as Scotty Goldman on Smackdown, may end up in ECW too.

Anyway, this match is simply two Smackdown middle carders dressed up as being World or potential World Champions. I feel sorry for Matt, as I feel that he was doing well for himself on SD, and if anything would have been more suited to a move to Monday nights, where he could have been a good candidate for the IC title.

Anyway, I can see quite a babyface night on this PPV, so for the interests of balance, I’ll go for Henry to win. I can see them giving Hardy a bit of a longer chase, so I’d day he loses through interference courtesy of Tony Atlas, prompting a cage match or similar at Unforgiven.


Prediction: Mark Henry to retain

Kofi Kingston and Mickie James v Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix
Beth and Santino have been a riot thus far, and I think this is set up for them to win and gain some more television exposure. WWE are known to react strongly to positive feedback on certain characters and scenarios, and many people have given the thumps up to duo of Glamarella.

Look for Beth to beat Mickie, probably with Marella distracting Kofi. This allows Kofi to drop the title without looking bad. Beth beating Mickie doesn’t destroy Ms James, since she has is pretty over and has beaten Beth cleanly. It also gives Beth a timely boost, and would give a focus to Beth and Santino’s relationship.

Prediction: Beth and Santino, as described above. Also, I’d suggest that developing this further Santino would keep defending the title and look like losing, but Beth saves him.


MVP v Jeff Hardy
These two met in a surprise match at Judgment Day which felt like a regular TV match (It hadn’t had any build up) but this will likely be better. The build to this match has been pretty good, as MVP is a very good antagonist, and Jeff Hardy just a naturally popular babyface, so the chemistry seems right.

I am slightly put off by the last few drops of preparation for this one, though, since it has caused a couple of decent Jeff v Shelton Benjamin matches to end in non-finishes, and I can see this either going a similar route or at least having some sort of conclusion other than a clean one.

I’d most likely take MVP to win, since his is the character worth building up more, and heels are needed on Smackdown. Apart from the brilliant Edge (Superstar of the year thus far, for me) you are only really looking at The Great Khali, whereas babyfaces at a top level range from the champ Triple H, Jeff himself, The Undertaker and the Big Show.

Umaga is injured, (he would have likely faced Big Show at this PPV) so the landscape is barren for the heels. I can’t see Khali winning nor having another shot at the belt (oops, spoiled my prediction for later) so MVP may well be needed to make the step up and be a top heel, if only temporarily.

Prediction: MVP to win, but not cleanly. Probably a feet-on-the-rope job, or maybe a pulling of the tights. He needs the win more, but they won’t job Jeff out.

Triple H v Great Khali (WWE Title)

They’ve teased on Smackdown that Triple H can’t put the pedigree on Great Khali, so I’d think that this will be the story of the match. Trips all over him to begin with, and trying to apply his signature hold, but Khali fights back. Triple H keeps coming back, to no avail, often trying for the pedigree and failing. Khali hits the brain chop, but The Game kicks out, and suddenly hits the Pedigree.

Or something like that.

Prediction: Triple H. Because Khali is That.........Damn.........Bad


CM Punk v John Bradshaw Layfield (World Title)
The battle of the paradoxes, this one. CM Punk is the world champion but doesn’t really get pushed. He is the champion but not on top of the card. The writers (allegedly) don’t like him, the agents (allegedly) don’t like him, but Vince (maybe) does.

JBL is probably the best hand the company has on the microphone. He has sold this match brilliantly, and sold himself brilliantly, in the mic time he’s had to pump this one up. Unfortunately, as my editor at Fighting Spirit James Denton says in the current issue, his in-ring work “sucks a dick”. (So eloquent, that boy.)

Hopefully this is the clean, high-profile win that Punk needs to raise him up at least half a level. Other than beating Cena in a gimmick match, JBL’s wins of late have been a little scarce. A loss to CM Punk wouldn’t really hurt much, but it would give Punk a fillip he sorely needs. I think he will win, I just hope it isn’t a cheap win, because that if they are going along that route, then it’s just pointless.

Prediction: Punk cleanly, and hoping that my heart isn’t ruling my head.

John Cena v Batista
This is the one I talked about above. The one match that you could forgive the probably poor quality of it if you can exchange it for the spectacle. Think Rock and Hogan at Mania. I’m not saying that either Cena or Batista are at the Rock or Hogan level, but that match back at Wrestlemania X8 is recalled as a classic, and the workrate wasn’t exactly stellar

The name value was, though, and when it comes to Wrestlemania the WWE can pull out all the stops, marketing wise. I keep going back over this in my mind, and I envisage Cena and Batista drawing one and two in the Rumble, with one nearly eliminating the other on more than occasion. After 30 have entered, both men are still there, but neither end up winning, with someone perhaps eliminating them both while they are fighting.

Now, however, this is simply the slinging together of two names in the hope that people will buy the Pay Per View because of it. This happened last year with Cena and Lashley. The two men were the unstoppable, runaway trains of WWE and you really didn’t know who would win. Instead of a heated clash, we got the old ‘respect’ angle, which nearly always fails to draw.

I truly wish this was a mania match, and I am truly fearful this will be very dull. Batista and Cena are the archetypal WWE-style main eventers who the company will be proud of. They are not great wrestlers like Hart, Michaels, Flair, Jericho, (whisper it) Benoit, Hennig, Steamboat or any other you care to mention of this ilk. Therefore, I see no reason to want to watch these two wrestle, especially with no belt on the line. Apart from Batista saying “stay out of my way” and the hackneyed “tag team champions who hate each other” act, there is no real animosity here.

Sorry, but apart from kids who won’t know who to cheer for, I sense a big dud here.

Prediction: Oh yeah, I have to pick a wrestler, don’t I? You know what - I smell bullshit all over this. Either a double count-out or double DQ. Or perhaps one of those deals where Batista gets the visual pin but the ref is down, and then Cena wins over all. I’d say that Cena to win is most likely, with Batista feeling he was screwed over, and showing more signs of a heel turn.


Edge v Undertaker (Hell in a Cell)
This is the money match here, if any. Edge v Taker has been done over and over this year, but Edge’s work the last few weeks has been off the charts – probably the best of his career.

Now I’m not really salivating over this because frankly the Undertaker act is not one of my favourites. That is not a slight on the guy. He is a certifiable legend in the WWE, deservedly so, and I am very much in a minority in finding him a bit stale.

I sometimes worry that the Hell in a Cell format is overused, because matches like Triple H v Kevin Nash and DX v Vince, Shane and Big Show have watered down the format.

Fun facts – this is the 16th Hell in a Cell. The only HiaC to not feature either Undertaker or Triple H was Mankind v Kane, but that was on Raw not a Pay Per View. So the intention is that you will only pay money to see Trips or Take.

Back to this match, and I do think the timing of this one is good, and that the match will likely deliver. I just want to know what route they will go with each competitor post-Summerslam. Edge has been the main man of late, and Taker is basically untouchable.

Typically I would suggest that the Undertaker should lose a match like this, because he will always retain his aura, whereas Edge beating UT would send him to the moon.

However, two things go against that. Firstly, I don’t see Edge v Triple H happening again, so soon after it was done recently, and quickly. Secondly, my booking card wants Triple H and Undertaker fighting at Wrestlemania.

That. Is. Money.

And although it was a previous Wrestlemania encounter, with Taker back as the Deadman (last time they fought he was a biker bad-ass) and Triple H a babyface makes it a completely new concept. If The Undertaker is going to face Triple H for the title at Wrestlemania, then he has to be protected.

I’d have Taker win, for the reason above and for the fact that I still believe in the fact that most long term good versus evil storylines ought to end with redemption for the good guy.

Prediction: Undertaker. Sending Edge even more over the.....ahem.....edge.

Other stuff – Shawn Michaels is due to make an announcement about his future. Perhaps I’m over-thinking this a bit, but I’d suggest that if he was going to simply say “I’m not going to retire” and Jericho then attacks him, that’s a third quarter segment on Raw, not a PPV feature.

This is also not a big enough thing to draw a PPV spike. A TV rating for a quarter-hour, maybe, but not a reason to part with hard earned cash.

Therefore, I’m of the opinion that this goes two ways. Either it’s a strong “I’m not retiring, and I challenge you to a Last Man Standing/Ironman/Two of out Three Fall/invent your own concept match at a future PPV” or it’s “I’m retiring.”

Now I’m not advocating the latter, but I can see it happening. I personally believe that Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho has been the best feud in wrestling in 2008. Maybe Edge the standout single guy, but HBK/Jericho has been just superbly scripted. Better than Angle/Styles, better than anything, anywhere.

They may look to do the following: Michaels says that he will listen to the doctors. He’s finished. Jericho spends more time bragging about how he ended HBK’s career, and wins the title. He is the main man, and he is oh-so-cocky because of what he did to Shawn.

From afar (kayfabe) Michaels sees Jericho with the glory and realises it is bogus. Jericho never beat Shawn Michaels, Jericho sneakily injured him. Shawn says he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror (and I don’t mean because his eyes are fucked) if he allowed Jericho to lord it over the WWE when he (Shawn) knows that he is better than him (Jericho).

This gives Michaels the opportunity to come back and challenge Jericho once more. Maybe it’s for the belt, maybe it’s at Mania, but it could feasibly work.

My worry is that what they will do is have Michaels retire (so that would be Taker and Shawn within six months of Flair’s emotional send-off.) but come back by Survivor Series, panicking that people will have forgotten about the situation. I wouldn’t blame them for this, because HBK is one of their top men, and to not have him for an extended period of time might be bad business. Although maybe Shawn is injured and needs a rest.

Either way, I think he’s going to retire. If they can keep the storyline tight, play up Jericho’s elation about his shelving of Shawn, and emphasise Shawn’s disappointment at being out of commission, it’ll work. And I hope and pray that it does, because this fabulous story does not deserve to end (and the two protagonists don’t deserve it to end) in a flimsy manner.

Also to consider:

Kane and Mysterio
We probably won’t see anything from these two, but just keep it at the back of your mind, should Kane wish to play up the madman angle.

By the way, now we are looking a PG product rather than a more adult-oriented one, so things ought to be considered aimed at kids, anyone else think it could have sounded to kids like Kane had killed Rey Mysterio?

Mick Foley
I know Mick is alleged to be leaving (and even heading to TNA, so we’re reporting, from a credible source, at The Sun) but is there a chance that he could come back, to spite Edge, and take a leap off the cage? Maybe that’s his grand exit from WWE, (nearly) re-enacting his most famous moment.

William Regal
Is there a chance that Regal could appear? They have kept talking about him as a free agent, so I wonder if they’ll use that to switch his brand. I’d especially love to see him go to ECW, just to have him wrestle Finlay every week. Regal can also do comedy, so if you insist on using Hornswoggle, then Regal would be a good foil for skits, and could also have great matches.

For Summerslam, maybe he’ll appear to attack Matt Hardy, or to get involved in MVP and Jeff Hardy. It’s more likely you won’t see him, but it might be a way of getting him involved in something more important than beating up Jamie Noble.

Randy Orton
Tricky subject. Maybe Randy Orton had a motorcycle accident, and maybe he nearly died, and maybe he will be out for several more months. If this is the scenario, then I hope Randy has a speedy recovery and feel genuinely sorry for the guy having such a harrowing occasion.

However.........

Over the years we have been trained that WWE.com comes up with bullshit. There have been no reports from the local press when Randy is supposed to have had his accident. Plus, he is said to have been thrown 300ft. Three Hundred? Are you sure? Think about how far that is, then consider that he broke a collarbone that was already weak. Seems odd.

He may be there tonight. He may not. If he is, then I don’t know where he would appear. I’m just saying it is possible.

Playing Wrestling Nostradamus

Sitting here of a Sunday night having just watched Smackdown, I thought I’d have a little look at the WWE landscape and offer some thoughts and predictions.

I cannot believe that The Great Khali has been promoted into another main event slot. Obviously the recent publicity tour over in India by the Punjabi superstar has done good business and India appears to be a thriving WWE market. I expect that Vince and co. like the fact that the Indian press seemed to report that the people over there think that Wrestling is real. I would highly doubt that Indian WRESTLING fans think that it is real, but if the media do then WWE will try to capitalise.

If India is loving the WWE right now, why not put Khali into a position to challenge for the title? Makes sense.

However, for the rest of us, it’ll be torture. As much as I respect the Game, and as good as Paul Levesque has been for many years, Triple H matches are no longer something I eagerly anticipate. Not saying they are not satisfactory, but they don’t get you excited the way that matches involving the likes of Edge, Jericho, Michaels and Jeff Hardy do.

Triple H will surely win, and I guess it’s just something for him to do while Edge has to deal with the Undertaker. Look at it this way – Edge has been THE story of Smackdown for the past couple of months, and of the Undertaker transcends titles, so HiaC will be top billing - at least from Smackdown’s point of view. (Although, saying that, they aren’t exactly piling all their stock on Punk, so I’d think that Edge v Taker would headline the whole show)

I guess we should be relieved, because this could be an opportunity for them to put Jeff Hardy or Mr Kennedy into a top spot only to have them lose to Triple H. At least Khali getting squashed isn’t much of a loss. Hardy or Kennedy getting the shot and losing would enable the opportunity for their doubters to argue to their fans that they had a chance and blew it – that the match wasn’t important and the reaction very little.

By the way, how many times did JR and Mick call Jeff Hardy “the Charismatic Enigma” on Smackdown? Surely they haven’t ditched the Rainbow Haired Warrior epithet and nicked a TNA one.

Elsewhere amongst the bigger names on Smackdown, we are looking like heading towards Umaga v Big Show and Jeff Hardy v MVP, although whether we will see all the matches at Summerslam is unknown.

Over on Raw, it’s Punk v JBL at Summerslam, which will have precisely no-one excited. I’ve talked on the Sun website about how Punk having the belt isn’t necessarily the best thing for the Straightedge Superstar. I think Punk will beat JBL, as there as even less point in Bradshaw having the title, but I’m doubtful it will be clean.

Other matches are unclear, as Chris Jericho has laid up Shawn Michaels once again in the storyline almost unanimously considered to be the best of the year – by miles. We may see another match between these guys, but I think more likely is that they’ll let HBK sell the eye injury a bit more, and then have a blow-off down the line. Also, backing up that theory, a blow-off match is already taking place at Summerslam, between Edge and Taker. It would be wrong for Jericho and Shawn to go under the radar in that fashion.

Then there is Cena, Batista and Kane. If they do the slow burn then Cena v Batista is a possible Wrestlemania encounter. (more on that in a minute) For now, I’m not sure where they are going to go. Kane’s insanity has lost a bit of momentum, but he is still in the mix. The biggest problem with Raw right now is that although having JBL, Punk, Batista, Cena and Kane featured prominently and in each other’s business keeps them strong and promotes the belt, because that’s what they are all aiming for, you cannot get excited about many matches between them. The only match two matches I’d like to see out of that group would be Cena v Batista (but only with the right build up) and Punk v Cena.

I mentioned Mania just then – I’d suggest three contests that you could get hold of and build Wrestlemania around.

John Cena v Batista
Triple H v Undertaker
Shawn Michaels v Rey Mysterio

What do you think?

Cena and Batista are modern day Sports Entertainers, with the package of the look and character being more important that the wrestler, but while I’m not a fan of Batista and don’t go crazy over Cena (although I respect the hell of out the guy for his work rate and what he has achieved) even I’d be interested in them building this one and manipulating the fans. I’d have the belt involved, too, because without it I don’t think you’d generate the right kind of dislike between the two men.

Over on SD, I think there is enough of a roster to sustain Triple H repelling contenders and Taker having some fun as well, without them needing to meet. Edge could step up and meet The Game again somewhere down the line. It wouldn’t be a bad thing at all. I make it eight Pay Per View events before Wrestlemania. A combination of matches with Khali, Jeff Hardy, MVP, Kennedy Big Show, Umaga and Edge again would sustain Triple H and Undertaker before Mania. With perhaps the odd hint dropped between Taker and Game that their paths will cross at some point.

I can envisage Undertaker and Big Show locking horns a couple of times, certainly, and Triple H having another little episode with Jeff Hardy could help Jeff out.

Mysterio v Michaels is a match I can’t recall seeing, and one which would whet the appetite like Angle and HBK did a few years back. I think Michaels is the best in the business right now, which is amazing considering he has just turned 43 and basically retired in 1998.

I’m not as crazy about Rey Mysterio as a lot of people are, but I think the anticipation of these two locking up would be mouth-watering, and the match would likely steal the show.

Finally, the GM situation on Raw. And another Mania match I can foresee.

Apparently Shane McMahon will be on Raw this week, and I’d like to lay a marker right now that this is step two of the Mr McMahon angle.

I’m saying that Shane will address the rising chaos on Raw. Citing the example that for months before Mr McMahon’s accident things were ok, needing to install an experienced hand and not having time himself, he will re-appoint William Regal as General Manager of Raw.

Regal will go back to his character pre-Suspension, although perhaps not to the extent of the frequent lights-out jobs. Order will be restored of a fashion, and things will pan out very slowly but leading to...........

Regal being revealed as the man behind the attack on Mr McMahon. Regal would know the setup of Raw, he would know the stagehands etc, so he would be able to engineer the attack (I know WWE doesn’t always worry about legitimate set-ups, but at least I can offer background). The motive would be that Mr McMahon sorted out the firing, and that Regal wanted his job back and showing it was chaos without him proved he was needed.

Vince tries to fire Regal, but Regal produces a contract he signed when Shane re-hired him which says he is guaranteed a contract for a certain amount of time. In the end, they go head-to-head at Mania for control of Monday Night Raw.

Vince McMahon v William Regal at Wrestlemania 25. You heard it, on July 27th 2008, here first.

Great American Bash - live thoughts

01.00am
Great American Bash, huh? It’s American..........I may well Bash it............we’ll see if it’s great.

01.03am
After the obligatory introductory video, we have the first match – and what do you know, I got it right! Fatal Fourway Tag Match for the Smackdown Tag Team titles – I’m assuming it’s one fall and not elimination match.

Three teams make their way out, and it’s depressing that Finlay and Hornswoggle get quite the reception. JR appears to know his Golf, citing Padraig Harrington’s Open victory this afternoon.

01.07am
Much as I hate the Hornswoggle gimmick, I have to give Dylan Postl credit for giving it his all. His facial expressions are good and he actually is learning in the ring. He just did a neat spot by rolling up his sleeves in readiness to fight Festus, but then did a version of a suicide dive onto Hawkins and Ryder.

01.15am
There’s one I got wrong. Only very standard fare, but the former Major Brothers, briefly Edgeheads and now just plain old Hawkins and Ryder take the gold. Not anything to write home about, but does beg a question about how they will be used in or out of La Familia from here on in.

01.18am
Matt Hardy is out to defend the US Title. I had no idea about this match. It wasn’t in the rundown on WWE.com. Oops – my bad.

JR and Mick talk about a stat whereby no US Title holder has ever lost the belt at the Great American Bash. That’s normally a signal that the stat will be broken. Good luck, Shelton – gold to the Gold Standard?

01.24am
A noticeable split is developing in the audience. A high-pitched majority are chanting “Let’s go Hardy” but an increasingly vocal minority are roaring on Shelton Benjamin. This should be taking into consideration for later on. I would suggest a similar split for Batista and Punk.

01.29am
God bless the predictable stats. Shelton wins in what was a decent encounter. A couple of really nice spots, and if Shelton can step up from this, continue to produce decent-to-great PPV encounters without resorting to jumping up ladders, and then couple this ability with some decent mic work, Shelton could finally have a decent push.

01.33am
Quality promo by CM Punk, building up himself as a humble but confident champion. I don’t understand why they are showing that on the PPV rather than using it on TV to build interest.

01.36am
E-C-Dub time, and a decent reception for Tommy Dreamer, along with Colin Delaney, who presumably is there in a role to find the whitest man possible to counter the two black guys Tommy is facing. I’d forgotten about Tony Atlas, and I want to just point out that my above statement was not a racist comment. Apropos of nothing, Tony Atlas once portrayed Saba Simba. I am not the racist one.

01.43am
Erm, Delaney turns heel?

It’s happening folks, the feud you’ve all wanted and been talking about. Not AJ v Joe again. Not Austin & Hogan. Not even Beth Phoenix and Awesome Kong.

It’s Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer was about to jump off the second rope, with Delaney acting cheerleader, but Tommy was pulled into the ropes by Colin, and Mizark polishes Tommy off. There’s your ECW main event next week, folks.

I bet you can’t wait.

02.10am
That was intense. I’m not too thrilled. Would have been nice to let Jericho have a WRESTLING win rather than Michaels just bleedinf profusely – and man did he bleed.

Before he did got the juice, the match was pretty normal by Michaels and Jericho’s standards. i.e. it was freaking awesome. Just fantastic execution of moves, great psychology, working body parts, nicely paced.

I’m not crazy about the ending, but it makes sense from a storyline development perspective, and I assume this will lead to another contest, possibly with a stipulation like Last Man Standing, at Summerslam.

02.17am
Divas time, and look at that outfit Nattie is almost wearing........

02.23am
Short, but surprisingly good. Michelle wins – also a surprise – but the biggest shock was the quality of the encounter. Only being 6 minutes or so may have been a negative cutting it down, but it may have been deliberately condensed to look better.

Submisson-based, it flowed beautifully, made Nattie look a million dollars and elevated Michelle. Whoever put that together deserves a pat on the back.

It does go some way to showing why WWE stays away from doing more ‘wrestling’ matches. This, one of the better women’s matches you will see anywhere, got a sprinkling of ‘boring’ chants. And I’ll bet that when it did there was a bit of panic behind the curtain. “Damn, they’re saying it’s boring. I told you, wrestling doesn’t work.” I bet those people who thought that was boring love it when Hornswoggle gets his squirter out (no, not that)

Anyway, post match out comes Jericho, interrupting the celebration Michelle is having with her chums Eve and Cherry. Jericho cuts a neat heel promo telling fans to keep their ticket stubs, Michaels has had is last match. It’s a to-the-point promo and it’s chilling in it’s message. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to let Jericho go after Punk now, assuming he beats Batista. In fact even if Batista wins, as there is recent history and would make sense.

Have Jericho be cost the title by HBK returning, perhaps, and let HBK and Jericho go wild again. It would build the anticipation of HBK’s absence while letting Jericho’s heel character develop even darker.

02.30am
I’ve realised I’ve left out a little conversation Edge had with the announcers, but I didn’t catch all of it while I was writing. No back editing here. He basically blamed Triple H for the wedding debacle and for ruining his (Edge’s) life.
Title match between Punk and Batista now.
Interesting point or two here as it means this is lower on the card (i.e. less important) than Cena and JBL. Secondly, Punk is billed as a huge underdog by the announcers Cole and Lawler. That doesn’t make sense if Batista is going over. Building the Punk underdog means him winning would mean a lot more.

02.42am
It’s been ok so far. A little formulaic, but remembering that this is Dave Batista, it’s been ok. Batista has dominated for much, but that’s ok. Punk has had flurries. I just hope that if he wins they let him win properly, not by fluke.

02.45amI’m not sure a babyface contest is heloing this. Punk and Batista are both over babyfaces without being super strong. It seems quite a lot of the crowd are either neutral or only slightly on one guy’s side. Both men hitting moves is a getting a nice pop, but there is no heel heat at all. Feels a bit flat.

02.46am
Oh, for crying out loud. I might have known they couldn’t end it properly. We have some sort of DQ ending as Kane arrives to attack Batista and throw him into a ring post. Chokeslam to Punk and it’s called off. Kane has his bag with him.

He screams to the camera the “alive or dead” line before turning and kicking a cameraman (not at all a developmental or local wrestler. No way) and slinking away with the bag.

Punk and Batista get up and as it looks like a handshake is imminent, Batista kicks Punk and gives him a Batistabomb. I can live with that, as you can interpret that as Batista being frustrated and taking it out on the man he feels shouldn’t be champ.

I just can’t believe they absolutely refuse to let Punk win something cleanly against anyone apart from Snitsky. They did let him have a bunch of offense, though, at least.

I think it is Kane’s mask in the bag, for the record.


03.11am
Hmm.

To be fair, if you take out the stupidly over the top elements, it was kinda ok..........no it wasn’t, it was terrible. I really don’t know anyone who wants to see this. Seriously, who would be thinking “Well, since JBL can’t do much now, and Cena has no-one else to work with, I hope they try to kill each other a few times.”

Setting a car on fire was the method of murder of choice this time, with Cena skewering a car with a fork lift, too. Not entirely surprising to see a “battery attached to gonads” spot. Cena cannot go ten minutes without talking about, or gesturing to, a penis.

Another thing, how come there was a camera in the car Cena drove at one point? I’m guessin this was all filmed earlier in the day and gimmicked up then, as this reminds me a lot of the Boiler Room Brawl from Summerslam 96. No commentary then or now, until it spilled into the arena.

Oh, forget it. It’s just ludicrous. I fail to see how anyone in WWE thinks this is a good idea. The trouble is, I think that they will continue the programme, because JBL won, and they won’t end the feud without Cena beating him again.

03.28am
We’ve just started the main event, and I’m pleased to report that as soon as the bell rang Edge charged. A tiny bit of realism (a charging set of punches rather than a lock up by an angry man) after the last half hour of mayhem.

Nice touch in the review of Smackdown, by the way. We hear the “Together” song that only ever gets played in moments of weddings in WWE. Man, wouldn’t it have been cool if they could’ve got hold of that for Jay Lethal and So Cal Val.

03.43am
With both men down, the wedding planner turns up and grabs the belt to pass to Edge. Vickie comes running down to clothesline her. Back problems cleared up then?

Planner (Alicia, says JR) and Vickie get in a scrap in the ring, and Edge ends up spearing Vickie by accident. But he was aiming at Alicia apparently. Don’t understand why. Anyway, he didn’t hold back. Vickie took it hard.

Trip nonchalantly cashes in on this havoc, Pedigree-ing Edge and winning.

03.46am
Well, that’s it. Not the best and not the worst. Some neat storyline stuff went on, it was just a shame that one of the matches wasn’t converted into a really good one with long-term benefits. I’ll allow the Jericho/Michaels because the match before the bleeding was terrific, and the storytelling (before and after) was exceptional.

I could cope with Punk and Batista’s match going the way it did had it not been for HBK/Y2J also not finishing clean. Edge and Triple H was never really going to be a straightforward one, so there was a little too much interferences and lack of clean finishes for me.

Around the card, the opener was sound, I liked the Diva match a lot, and Shelton v Matt was a good outing. Henry v Dreamer was awful as expected, but at least there was a bit of interest coming out of it.

Cena v JBL was the obvious aberration, but apart from that it was sound without being spectacular.

On another plus, with so many storyline elements and advancements, plus the last few week’s efforts, I’m looking forward to Raw. How will Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels’ excellent programme progress? Who is Kane talking about? Who will Punk face next? How will Batista react? Will they drop JBL and Cena?

Should be interesting.

Great American Bash - Preview

Tonight is.......erm........I forget the name. It’ll come to me, don’t worry.

Anyway, it’s a WWE PPV, and it’s frankly slipped under the radar. You see, this last three weeks or so is a great example of why you don’t need – or, in fact, want – regular monthly Pay per Views. For a couple of good, and a couple of bad, reasons, Raw is in the spotlight. They have produced episodes worth watching, or at least worth talking about. The trouble is, they haven’t really built this PPV. The things we’ve been seeing has been the draft; Punk winning a belt and defending it; Vince falling form the stage; Kane going mad.

Only JBL and Cena have really gone to the well and hyped their feud, but they went miles too far and will have disillusioned many viewers just getting their confidence in Raw back.

The reason Raw was so good three episodes ago, and was for most of the time last week, was because it was mostly kept simple. OK, it was fast paced, it was unpredictable and some of it made you scratch your head, but that’s good. It was mostly straightforward and didn’t need well-produced but lame parking lot segments such as the scene which ended Raw.

All that said, my bleating isn’t going to get this thing cancelled, so we may as well just enjoy it. So enough of me gabbing, lets..........wait, GABBING? GAB? That’s it – Great American Bash. I knew I’d get there J

World Tag Team Championship Fatal Four Way Match:Miz & Morrison v Finlay & Hornswoggle v Jesse & Festus v Hawkins & RyderNothing in this really. Standard PV filler and I’d suggest that it is quite likely to open the show. Miz and Morrison are clearly the best team around at the moment, and it’s ironic that they were thrown together as a team after feuding but now look like a decent unit.

On the other hand, you have Hawkins and Ryder who don’t feel like a team with an identity, just two guys who happen to look like Edge. You see, in something like Evolution, you had a neat combination of an old legend like Ric Flair, a huge name in the current climate Triple H, and then two up-and-comers. One being the sneaky, arrogant Randy Orton, and the other the powerhouse Batista.

They were all different and served purposes, as opposed the slightly over-populated La Familia, who comprise of dominant Triple H-like sneaky heel figure Edge, but Chavo is a sneaky heel who (occasionally) wins by cheating, and Hawkins & Ryder are sneaky heels who rarely win. Then there is Neely who does nothing, says nothing and is rather pointless.

Back from that tangent, the other two teams are just comedy acts, and since the belts hardly ever change hands in fourways, I’ll take Miz and Morrison to capitalise on some Festus house-cleaning to retain.


Natalya v Michelle McCool - Divas Championship
This one is for the prestigious.....err.....new Women’s title, because having five girls on a show warrants a belt apparently. Anyway, I’m guessing this goes to Natalya because she’s the one being pushed. I think they probably see Michelle as a plucky, feisty girl prime to chase a cocky champion, so I’d expect to see Natalya win, possibly by foul means, and then Michelle challenge her again at Summerslam.

Mark Henry v Tommy Dreamer – ECW Title
I cannot believe this is even happening......

You know what, to hell with it. I think Tommy is gonna win. I really do. I don’t see the point of this match otherwise. Henry as champion? No-one cares. ECW? No-one cares. Therefore Henry defending the ECW title against anybody – Big Show, Kane, Burke, whomever – no-one will care.

But you know what, people still love Tommy. The Pay Per View is in the North East, in New York State. Henry will likely squash Dreamer next week on ECW to get the thing back, but as a shock, as a babyface pop and mainly as a swerve, I can see Dreamer going over.

John Cena v JBL – Parking Lot Brawl
I don’t want to even write about this. The ending of Raw last week was a disgrace, and complete unnecessary. If the argument is that because Cena is 5-0 against JBL in their matches they had to raise the heat, then that’s so flawed from the start because if that is the case – that the deck is so stacked in Cena’s favour – then don’t have the match.

It’s not like the other five have been classics. JBL has done nothing since coming back. He’s great on the mic but atrocious in the ring. I didn’t mind his title run on SD a couple of years ago because he was so damn entertaining and generated good heel heat. His ‘cabinet’ also worked far better than La Familia in my opinion.

Now, however, he has slowed down even more and elicits little reaction. This doesn’t help Cena – whose stock without the title is plummeting – and certainly doesn’t entertain. A stupid gimmick match like this is unlikely to be enthralling.

And, by the way, I’m all for suspension of disbelief, but JBL should be in jail. If he would drive a car into Cena on camera, he would walk to ringside with a gun. Therefore JBL – the character – is a dangerous, homicidal man, and should be in prison.

I really don’t care. I’m only going to watch this match because it’s my job. I’ll take Cena to win, with a Greco-roman head through the windshield.


Chris Jericho v Shawn Michaels
Now we’re talking.

Proper wrestling, proper writing, proper wrestlers.

I don’t care who wins, I don’t care if they continue the programme or not (frankly, though it’s been brilliant, I’m not sure where they take it from here unless they introduce another party, like they did with Batista) I just want them to give these guys the finish, give them 25 minutes, and let them go.

Picking a winner is tricky. It seems unlikely that they would let HBK get beaten cleanly by Jericho, but Jericho could use a win in this feud. I have a feeling Jericho will win via cheating, which would not be very satisfying.


World Heavyweight Title – CM Punk v Batista
I can’t for the life of me see Triple H and Edge not being in the main event in exchange for Punk and Batista being there. This has had little build up – in fact it has been shunted to priority three behind John Cena/JBL and Kane’s mental breakdown.

If you had asked me who would win this about two weeks ago, I’d have gone for Big Dave, but WWE is big into their ratings breakdowns, and since Punk’s been champion, ratings have been good. (although they dropped a bit this week)

I think Punk will win this, but I can see Batista making a mistake which Punk capitalises on, rather than beating him with his finisher. Maybe even a ref bump to let Batista have a visual fall, before Punk gets the job done.

In short, belt to stay on Punk, but he won’t look that strong.


Triple H v Edge – WWE Title
This is the trickiest one I think.

Triple H is THE man in the company, and holding the biggest title. However, Smackdown has been all about Edge for the past few weeks, even more so than usual.

What with the marriage of Vickie and the apparent break-up later that night, you’d think that Edge would be at odds with Vickie, but where would La Familia stand. If they side with Edge (which would be illogical, but it’s possible, isn’t it?) that would turn Vickie babyface. But then Trips took a couple of cheap shots at her on SD, so that seems unlikely too.

Another conclusion could be that this is all another elaborate ploy, and that Tiffany the wedding planner was in on it all along too. Again, would make little sense, but that doesn’t always stop them.

I’ll go for a drawn out close one to be won by Triple H. Make Edge look reasonably strong, but put Triple H over. If Edge has had a long, drawn out storyline break-up, then that can be utilised in itself to give the Rated R Superstar a programme without needing to have the belt.

It’s a tough one to call, but it’s typically been a fair bet to assume that Triple H will win. So I’ll stick with that.

June 30 Raw Thoughts - Thing are looking upo

Now that, friends, is how to write a TV show.

Ok, there wasn’t much wrestling on it, but Monday Night on the last day of June may the first day or a new era. It featured title matches, title changes, introductions to a new audience of characters, interesting character development, decent comedy (for a change) and unpredictability.

Simply keep this up and add a bit more by way of in-ring action, even just one decent match per week, then we could be onto something. I’m just begging the powers-that-be to hang in there if the rating for Raw is only like 3.0. Even if it hardly moves above that level for a few weeks they have to give it time, because things need to develop and people need to find out that the product is good again, and not just a show which you can predict a mile off.

Let’s get some bad stuff out of the way, because it wasn’t all fabulous.

Firstly, the Vince McMahon follow-up. A big angle to end a three-hour Raw only got a brief mention from Shane at the start, pre-record in a studio, and sporadic references from the commentators during the show. Other than that, it was not continued.

I’m prepared to give this one time. Sometimes letting something build in the mind is a good thing, but they have to remember the short attention span of people these days, and not hold on to the story for too long.

Secondly, Chris Jericho not winning the IC title back is fine. Also, him not losing cleanly is fine. But don’t have him lose via DQ to a pull of the tights. It’s a small misdemeanour, and something that happens and is seen all the time. If refs are going to be like that, then they’d stop every match after a punch. I fail to see why this one couldn’t have ended with Cade hitting Kofi, but the ref catching it, or even just a Jericho low blow. Maybe it could have been the Walls of Jericho not being released after Kofi had the ropes, or better still cash in on the build up of having Jericho nearly hit Michaels with chair and let him smash Kofi out of frustration.

Third moan is about a continuity issue, because although I sort of liked the “Martial Law” aspect to JBL’s involvement, there being no GM with Vince out of commission makes no sense. Ok, so JBL brings his security guys, but who booked the title match then? In fact, who booked any of the matches? You could have used a bit of reality and had like Tony Garea or some other road agent (sorry, producer) say that they are in charge by proxy, but have them just be really weak and let JBL get away with it. Hell, you’ve got Ron Simmons there every other week, let him say more than “Damn” and make him temporary GM. He could then be fair to everyone else but since JBL is a long-time friend he lets Bradshaw get away with his actions.

Anyway, that’s 500 words of whinging out of the way because I want to talk about the good stuff.

Let’s take it in order..........otherwise I’ll forget something.

JR’s Promo:
Decent, although a little long, JR seemed to be stalling a lot, so I wonder if Edge missed a cue. Anyway, although it served it’s purpose of letting JR say goodbye to Raw and perhaps placate him after his public disappointment, it was probably engineered to get Edge even more over as a heel. After running down JR, the partisan Oklahoma crowd were baying to see Edge get his, and they got that in spades. JR’s presence was also a tool in getting Hawkins and Ryder out of the way for when Big Dave appeared.

The Batista beatdown was nice because it addressed his frustrations at losing the belt, while also serving the purpose of hurting Edge enough that Punk could capitalise. I might have had the announcers build up a question of whether Punk and Batista were in collusion or not (Punk did thank Batista later on) but it was still well produced.

The opening segment was the best part of 25 minutes, but it didn’t drag. Obviously not having a commercial helped too. I suppose it wasn’t really one segment. It ran together, and events had a knock-on effect, but it was really four segments. JR’s speech, Edge’s rebuttal, Batista’s attack, Punk’s cashing in. Punk beating Edge has nothing to do with JR saying goodbye, but everything was used well to create an engaging, logical and entertaining segment, with a genuine feelgood ending.

I’ll be honest, I sat there and waited for them to screw it up. When I later saw JBL confront Punk I panicked, because I recalled Bradshaw’s speech at Night of Champions, saying that he’d win a title soon. But things worked out well.

Mickie James v Jillian Hall:

Meh. Filler, and just a reminder of Mickie being champ I guess. I have not idea what Beth has done wrong or who she has pissed off, but her disappearance is baffling.

Rey Mysterio and Sanino Marella:

I’ll be honest, over the last couple of years I have only sporadically watched Smackdown. Even then I often watch it because I realise I haven’t seen it for a couple of weeks, and it’s my job to keep up.

There must be others like this, so when you have a guy like Mysterio whose career (in mainstream America at least) has been ECW, WCW then Smackdown, there may well be Raw fans not completely familiar with him. So to let him speak for a few minutes was good. It needed to go somewhere, though, and went it went was terrific.

I like to think of myself as a professional, so I sit and watch Raw with either a pen and notepad or the laptop on which I am currently writing this blog, and a neutral expression. When someone enters the arena I am pleased to see him, I will smile and polite express my thoughts with a “that’s nice” or “Jolly good”. You know, something stereotypically English.

However, when Santino arrives, it’s almost always gold, and this situation was made for him. Mysterio had said his piece – he’s okay on the mic, is Rey, but he’s not great, so he needs to be treated like Batista. Keep it short and sweet, then move on. Having Marella interrupt after the serious stuff had been done was perfect timing.

Santino, as per usual, delivered. His first big line was referring to the three reasons why people wear masks. “They are incredibly ugly, incredibly stupid...........or they are The Batman” Hilarious. The written word doesn’t do that justice, and giving that line to any other wrestler to do as a promo wouldn’t have worked. Santino’s mannerisms are just so awesome, and he nailed it again here. He left just the right amount of time between the first two reasons and the third. I even loved his follow-up line: “You sir, are not the Batman”. Genius.

The rest of the stuff was good, even with the blatant shilling of the magazine. Calling him “Ray Mastrio”, saying “booyaka, booyaka” saying he is “taller than the Hornswoggle” and after showing his picture in his boxers he said “Now that is a photo.”

Rey getting a shot in and hitting a 619 gave the segment a satisfying ending, and gives an opportunity for Rey to ease himself back into action. I’d expect Rey’s Raw debut in a match to be against Santino next week, and for him to win easily. This doesn’t hurt Santino as no-one cares about him in the ring anyway. He’s just so hilarious that you can keep beating him and he’ll still be over. It also allows Rey to get back into his groove gradually.

That was basically the first hour, so about 3 minutes of wrestling, but a satisfying hour nonetheless.

Cena promo:
It was more promo time as John Cena came out to a positive reception in OK. This was typical Cena, which is neither criticism nor praise from me really. I like his character as being a tough guy who can admit frailty. I hate it when babyfaces claim they were the better man after they lose the night before. It just makes them look a whiner, especially when they lose cleanly. Heels can bitch and moan all they like, because it will make people dislike them and that’s their job. Babyfaces should be more gracious.

Cena is, even when he loses to heels, but it was even more important that he acknowledged his role against Triple H. I like that.

However, the stuff I don’t like is the usual Rock imitation of listing stuff to get a pop. It kinda works, but always feels awkward to me, like they are just trying to recreate the Great One – that will never be done.

I also didn’t care for Cena trying to say what a classic his match with Hunter the night before had been. Don’t get me wrong, it was very good – probably the best on the card – but not a classic. No-one will remember it in three months time. By having Cena and announcers play it up as one of the great moments in history just pisses all over matches like Shawn Michaels v Kurt Angle which were legitimately 5-stars. It’s ok to say “You should have bought the Pay Per View last night because Angle and HBK tore it down.” Don’t lie to the viewers about Cena and HHH, because although serviceable, it wasn’t that good.

Anyway, back to this segment, and it ended up working nicely with another classic heel tactic, the extensive backup, which was also a good, subtle setup for something later on.

Like I said before, I didn’t care for the invisible GM scenario, but if you have to have it, then JBL bringing out a posse and taking the law into his own hands makes sense, and fits his character. The seg build good heat on him and great sympathy for Cena.

Rhodes and DiBiase:
I hated the way that these two got the belts, but I like the idea of their team having something in common, so I’m prepared to forget their initial coming together. I also approve of the odd squash match, because it allows a team like this to develop and show the audience what they have. Don’t forget, if the tag team picture is to be taken even moderately seriously, these two are going to need to find opponents. Since Londrick is no more, and Cade and Murdoch are split, Raw basically only has three other recognised teams – Cryme Tyme, Highlanders and Carlito & Santino. The first make sense as over babyfaces, but the second have been blighted by injury and appearing on TNA, so haven’t been seen in months, and the third appear to be on the road to if not breaking up then simply being forgotten.

So, save for throwing together Van Venis and Jim Duggan and letting them get beat, you may as well let DiBiase and Rhodes beat a jobber team rather than go over someone they will need to face down the line.

Interesting to note that Ted said that that everyone under thirty are now sheep. Got me thinking about how old these two guys are, and the ages of the roster generally. Looking at the current RAW champions, if my sources are correct, their ages are as follows:
Kofi -26
Punk – 29
Mickie – 28
Ted -25
Cody -23 – his 23rd birthday was June 30th, so the date of this week’s Raw.

It makes the average age of the Raw champions just over 26. That’s really surprising and quite pleasing really. As long as they aren’t buried while holding the belts.

For the sake of balance, I’m not really trying to make any other point here, but here are the ages of all other champions:
Triple H – 39
John Morrison – 29
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin – 27
Matt Hardy – 33
Mark Henry – 37

That puts the age of all non-Raw champions as 33, and makes the average age of all WWE belt holders as 29.6.

That’s not scientific, but it’s an interesting look at the state of affairs I think. Like I said, I’m not trying to make a point, just showing some facts.

Anyway, that’s a diversion, where were we?

Oh yeah, we’ve done the Tag team stuff. After Rhodes and Dibiase came some more character stuff. Backstage, Paul Burchill told Katie that she will be champ one day, and wondered off. This gave Jamie Noble the opportunity to hit on our hot English chick, and to impress her he said he’ll play “Prison Rules” on Raw. No, not those kind of Prison Rules. This, according to Jamie, is going up to the biggest guy and drawing a line in the sand. Katie pointed out Kane. After threatening Kane and being generally amusing, Kane grabbed Noble’s throat, but Jamie ran off. He, fortuitously, ran away to the ring, where eventually he got chokeslammed through a table.

It was all good. It had some funny stuff in there, and like with Rey earlier, it was effective in introducing Jamie Noble to a different audience. It adds a different dynamic to the backstage skits, and to Noble talking to the Divas. It also solidified Kane as a badass.

Jericho v Kingston:
As above, I’ll say that the ending to this match was terrible, but keeping the belt on Kofi was not a bad thing, it’s a good thing (Right, DDP?). Jericho did another terrific promo pre-match, challenging HBK to a match at Great American Bash and keeping his great new attitude going. He does so much in an interview without shouting, without whining and without resorting to catchphrases or cheap heat. Superb stuff.

JBL v Punk:
Not a great match, but continued the good storytelling of the evening and Cena bringing Cryme Tyme in was a random, but nice piece of inclusion.

Obviously it was the right thing for Punk to retain, and things are set up well for a whole host of challengers. Rey is building his way up, Jericho and Michaels are involved together, and it seems that there is a chance that Cena and JBL will face off again. That’s five high-tier superstars who could be challengers to Punk at some point, but I’d suggest that his Bash opponent may well be Batista.

Whether it will involve Batista turning heel or not, I don’t know. Whether he will win the belt or not, I don’t know. However, the reason is there, because Big Dave can claim he did the hard work and that Punk is taking the credit. Batista can also suggest that that he had Edge beaten and it took loads of people to usurp him, so he has a rightful claim to the belt.

Personally, I think that Punk will drop the belt to Batista, who will do the slow burn to turn heel, and repel the challenges of Rey, maybe Michaels, and then go into a programme with Cena. I personally can’t see this waiting for Wrestlemania, but there you go.

All in all, a terrific Raw. And even more shocking, McNichol updates his blog twice in one week. Will wonders never cease..............

NIght of Champions Live Notes

1.03am
After a very long introductory video, we have the familiar voice of Jim Ross opening the show. Interesting. No announcement of all the commentators of the other brands.\

1.04am
It seems we’ll be getting comedy and daftness out of the way here, as Morrison and The Miz are out for their title defence against Finlay and Hornswoggle. I may be wrong, but aren’t all four men on the ECW roster? Why aren’t Adamle and Tazz calling this?

Actually on second thoughts, I’m not really asking for Adamle over JR am I?

1.10am
Poor show of editing as while they are showing a double feature of Hornswoggle doing some kind of senton, something meaningful in the match happens.

No-one sees the meaningful stuff happen so they show it again in a double feature which wouldn’t have been needed if the first double feature hadn’t been shown. Idiots.

01.15am
Well, I suppose that was okay. The live crowd seemed into it, and I’ve often said that I am probably not representative of the audience at large, so even if I didn’t care for it, perhaps some did.

If tonight is going to be interpreted as reasonably serious and meaningful, at least they got rid of this stuff first. At one point JR said “This is not wrestling.” Hearing that, Jim.
Oh – Miz and Morrison won. Mercifully.

01.19am
Interesting – another reasonably lame duck match as Matt Hardy v Chavo Guerrero is next. Two more ECW guys..........and it’s JR and Mick again.

Listen, I thought the draft on Monday was great, and stirred up some stuff and created some interest. But if there is no particularly continuity, what is the point?

01.23am
Wow, Mick just said that “with all due respect to the ECW title” the United States Championship means just as much. Maybe this belt will stay on ECW. After all, what the point of Matt winning the ECW strap down the line if it doesn’t matter as much as the thing he is wearing now?

01.32am
Out of nowhere, Matt wins and retains. Not a bad little encounter, but without much build up it just felt like a semi main-event on Smackdown rather than a contest that folks have paid money for.

01.35am
Just over half an hour in, and we have the first mention of Vince’s little mishap last week on Raw. Extensive footage is shown, including the “I can’t feel my legs” line, but it came off feeling completely like an angle. Tazz (yes, he and Adamle are here) sold it too flippantly after the video package.

01.37am
We have a title match for the ECW Championship, being called (shock) by the ECW announcers, but involving one Smackdown guy who is a former ECW champ. One Raw guy who is the current ECW champ. And one ECW guy wrestling his first match for Extreme Championship Wrestling.

All four wrestler before now have been members of the ECW roster and the matches were called by the Smackdown announcers. Hmmmm.

01.38amAdamle says “Big Show needs no introduction”. Shut up, then.

01.46am
Surely Adamle can’t be doing this deliberately. He just out-Adamle’d himself by saying that Kane was in front of the broadcasting..........thing. He meant table. Or desk, or position, or any word but “Thing”.

Kane had some doctors come to look at him during the match which didn’t seem to lend itself to the match, so I guess he winded himself. He is dominating as a type, so perhaps he has recovered, or wasn;t hurt in the first place.

01.49am
Slow and really rather boring encounter comes to an end with Mark Henry (MARK F’N HENRY) winning the ECW title.

Terry Funk, Shane Douglas, The Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Tazz, Mikey Whipwreck, Raven, Mike Awesome, Rhino, Justin Credible, Steve Corino.

Fuck you all.

Mark Henry is the champion.

My God that sucks.

01.53am
Backstage bit with Batista and John Cena. Show of respect and words of why each man will win their respective matches. Nice tease not only for matches tonight but for a future Cena and Batista match.

Only black spot on the segment was CM Punk showing up. I love Punk and all, but the explicit nature of him saying that his briefcase is getting heavy seems to indicate that he will not be cashing that contract tonight.

01.55am
Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes and in the ring with Ted DiBiase Jr out to challenge. His partner is...................

01.59am
No-one yet. Ted says his partner has texted him and will be late. He refuses to forfeit, and the match starts.

He demands that Holly get in the ring and as he does, Cody DDTs Bob. Cody........tags in DiBiase, who slaps on a Million Dollar Dream into a slam. Three count, and Cody and Ted are champions.

Now, listen, that can’t happen. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but this is nuts. Over the years, thanks to numerous ludicrous contract signing segments, we know that contracts have to be signed for title encounters. So what did the contract say? That Cody was facing himself? What if Bob Holly kicked out? Could he have tagged Cody in to face himself? Bonkers. Absolutely stupid way to kick off a potential stable that could be superb. Just do it the right way, please, with a modicum of sense to it, is all I ask.

Idiots.

02.05am
In a skybox, JBL cuts a truly superb promo. On the stick, the guy is amazing. Talk about brilliant heel promos, this man has it. However, the subject matter is pretty much about why he isn’t on the show, and the answer is that he absolutely sucks in the ring. Sucks more than a Dyson factory.

02.06am
Chris Jericho is here. Another mystery opponent. The last one was non-existent, let’s see how this goes.

02.08am
It is.....................................well it’s not HBK, according to Jericho. He’s not in the arena, which might mean that he is. It’s not Lance Cade either, because he’s at ringside.

02.09am
It’s Kofi Kingston. Hmm, interesting. Well, I like the look of this guy, and advertising him to face Jericho wouldn’t have sold any tickets, so fair enough that this is a surprise moment. Jericho must win, but Kofi going really close will help him immensely. He does not have to win here to get over.

Small reaction for Kofi, by the way. Shows that no-one watches ECW.

02.17am
King and Cole keep mentioning Cade at ringside – it’s almost as if they are being prompted from in the their headsets. Cade is doing nothing but they are talking him up like he is as proactive as a cross between Jim Cornette and Rain Man.

02.23am
Credit where it due for that one. Kofi Kingston wins and is the new Intercontinental Champion.

When the music of the Jamaican hit, you had a heel (Jericho) with little heat and a babyface (Kingston) who many of the fans were unfamiliar with. During the match, there were a series of nearfalls for Kofi which garnered increasing reactions for the challenger.

Typically, after Jericho said that HBK was not in the building, he of course was, and he attacked the inanimate Lance Cade before distracting Y2J long enough for Kofi to get the win.

Nice build to a title switch which will hopefully help an emerging star. Jericho does not need the IC belt to get over, and his programme with Michaels is gaining momentum nicely.

The only downside, as per usual with HBK, is the overacting of the man from San Antonio. Shawn Michaels is arguable in the top 3 in-ring performers of all time, but his acting is painful too often. You can sell an injury subtly, Shawn, without acting like that. The commentators can sell the injury. Michaels is awesome in the ring, but he makes an ass of himself like that.

All in all, though, decent match which allowed Kofi to shine and built him up well. Could have been done on Raw, but Kofi gets some good exposure.

02.29am
After showing a (mildly) comedic advert for Gillette with Cena and Vince, we have Mickie James out for a Women’s title match.

Another ‘funny’ bit with Vince. Yeah, he (kayfabe) nearly died on Monday.

02.30am
Look, I know I’m starting to sound arsey, but why is Paul Burchill in wrestling gear. He doesn’t have a match, he is there to support his sister, Katie, in her battle with Mickie. Why does he have his wrestling attire on?

02.33am
I’m not sure I should be watching this really. I’m getting cranky.

King just said, after Mickie hit a low dropkick, that it’s a move Mickie James has won a lot of matches with.

No it isn’t.

That’s a stand up lie. If she has won one match in her career with that I’ll be surprised, and she sure as hell hasn’t won ‘many’ matches like that. I’ll allow the odd ‘this is one of the biggest main events ever’ call and even the odd lie as to whether two guys have faced off before, but the fans aren’t idiots, Jerry. No one believes that Mickie wins matches with low dropkicks because they have never seen it.

This is why Mick Foley is doing a decent job on co-commentary, why JBL did well, and why a once-great colour guy like Jerry Lawler needs sending out to pasture.

All the talk after the draft was about JR. Unfair. It’s King that needs to be drafted. Maybe to TNA.

02.39am
Not a bad little match, really. Decent outing for Katie Lea to show that she can actually wrestle. This match was still way too early in the development of both Katie and the feud between these two, but the match was ok and quite enjoyable. Commentary lunacy aside.

02.44am
Edge is on his way for a title match with Batista, and we have just seen a video hyping the match. It was a nice build for the feud, especially for those not overly familiar with La Familia, but had one notable bit for me.

Batista was told by Edge in the video that he would not get another title shot if he lost this. Didn’t that happen a couple of months back? Maybe I’m going crazy.

02.47am
Nice insider line from JR, saying that Batista has “leviathan-like strength”. Leviathan was Batista’s name when in developmental territories.

Perhaps Michael Cole will call John Cena to be a Prototype of a great wrestler later on.

Maybe not.

Big reception for Batista, by the way. More over than I expected.

03.05am
More utter garbage.

Not a horrendous match, although I do feel sorry for Edge, because matches with big guys like Batista always look the same. It was going along ok, and then the “greatest commentator ever” made a terrible call (he called a spinebuster a Batista-bomb) and coincidentally the matches went downhill. Deliberate DQ attempt, replacement referee (Chavo) and a screwjob finish. Just completely lame , trite and has been done dozens of times.

The heel commissioner/general manager schtick must end. Now. It’s not just Vickie, but the entire concept is so overplayed it’s unreal.

I suppose Batista and Edge should be commended for spending more than 20 minutes in each other company with slamming their heads together.

Nice note to finish, though, as (I think) as Batista was selling a blow to the head he said “I see three Sign Guys”.

03.44am
Nice main event. Told a great story, and towards the end of the match they were getting huge reactions for just punches. These two men were able to put on a good show which played to their strengths and hid weaknesses.

A lot has been said about Cole to raw instead of JR, but he made a great call, again towards the end. Cena had missed two attempts at the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and when he eventually hit the third, rather than selling it as being devastating, Cole said that Cena hitting it was a huge blow mentally for Cena.

Anyway, Triple H wins a good’un with a Pedigree. I never felt Cena would go clean over The Game because of Cena winning two years ago.

Slightly bad taste, it must be said, with Triple H at one point locking Cena in a crossface, when last year it was at Vengenace: Night of Champions last year that Chris Benoit was due to compete but never made it.

Show ends, and no CM Punk to run in at the end. God knows how they will get out of having no title belt on Raw.

Logic FTW.