For anyone who doesn't know, yesterday authorities found Chris Benoit, wife Nancy and son Daniel dead in their Atlanta home. Police suspect that Mr Benoit killed his wife and son, and then himself over the weekend. I should stress this is not confirmed, just suspected.
I've been watching and writing about wrestling for so long, I'd always thought of myself as someone that didn't really have 'favourites'. There are people who I would prefer to see, like Edge, others I respect for the career but don't personally find so entertaining, like Undertaker and Flair, but I really do think if you pressed me and asked who my favourite was, I'd have said Chris Benoit.What the hell do the WWE do now? Its one thing losing Benoit and throwing the Mr McMahon limo thing into jeopardy. Its quite another for the man to potentially be a murderer. We may now have had a 3-hour set of glowing tributes to a murderer.
It wasn't even twelve hours ago that I was blissfully unaware of this tragedy. I kinda wish I still was. I was gearing up for Raw - how would they come out of Vengeance, a really poor show, and deal with Vince's 'funeral'.
Vengeance. I feel so guilty about what I posted yesterday. Not because I hurt anyone or wrote what I didn't believe, but I wrote about it as if it was so important, so crucial that a few wrestling storylines and matches weren't up to scratch.
I went to both tapings in Earls Court in April. Saw wrestlers from all three brands, even met some of them. Not being a 'fanboy', I discussed goings on with those around me and occasionally expressed surprised, but didn't 'pop', didn't cheer or boo anyone's promos.
However, when Chris Benoit walked the aisle, I stood and applauded. I felt that he above all others was the one that deserved my respect. I am having a hard time dealing with that.
All of a sudden it feels so wrong to use his nicknames. The Rabid Wolverine. The Crippler. I know it doesn't bring any of them back, but a reall selfish part of me wants to find out that it was Nancy who killed them other two and turn it on herself, or some other outside party. I fear that is simply wishful thinking.
In due time, I will write a retrospect from my point of view of Chris Benoit's life and career. It may be here, it may be on The Sun's site. Now is not the time.
This feels like it can't be happening. But it is.