RAW needs to play the Long game. (And I don’t mean Smackdown’s Teddy)

I have just finished watching this week’s episode of RAW, and while I normally would be anxious to see what kind of rating it pulls in, this time I am much more concerned about how this show is followed up next week.

I have read this week that USA Network executives are onto Vince McMahon and his team to improve ratings, and that they are interested in taking the RAW show to three hours. I believe there was even a rumour that USA are pressuring WWE to try to show more of people like Steve Austin, Mick Foley, The Undertaker, and have even seen the names Sable and Chyna come up, although there might be more chance of me being on than these two again.

In my opinion, several things are necessary for WWE to ‘stop the bleeding’ and redress the falling ratings trend.

Firstly, take time to build character, and most importantly keep the viewer guessing. This week’s show

Here in the UK, we have a beautiful thing called Sky Plus. I’m not sure what the American equivalent is, or indeed what exists in a similar vein in the rest of the world, but essentially a key element of Sky Plus is that you get to fast forward, rewind, pause etc. TV as you please. I have found myself increasingly watching Raw in about an hour. Watching all the backstage segments and in-ring promos, but having the matches on six-times normal speed, just about being able to make out who is on top, suits me fine.

The seemingly infinite amount of replays, recaps from earlier in the night for people with the memory of a goldfish, plus video packages from previous weeks or about stuff I know (Snitsky, Triple H, Booker/Jerome) earn themselves the +30 treatment – that’s as fast as I can fast forward.

But this week, I got tripped up. Raw took me over two hours. And I skipped all the adverts.

I watched the opening segment, which by the way featured possibly the three most entertaining guys in the mic in the company, in Cena Carlito and Kennedy, and I enjoyed it. But when Kennedy v Lashley and Cena v Carlito were set up, I sighed. Lashley takes punishment and looks imperious, Cena overcomes the odds and probably gets attacked post-match by Orton. Same old, same old.

So I flicked through the beginning of the show, slowing the TV every now and again to hear JR get Jillian’s name wrong THREE times, and then to gaze at Maria. (ah, Maria).

I listen to Santino’s speech. Perhaps it’s the easy stereotyping, but Marella always remind me of the Italian restaurateur from The Simpsons. (“Eh, Salvatore, get-a some pasta for the ugly kid-a. And-a tell-a de boss not to keep-a booking me with Jamal. Dah, I mean Umaga-a.) Anyway, I watched him get flattened because it’s fun.

A bigger sigh as we find out its Orton v Sgt. Slaughter. Yawn, another squash.

I watched Cody v Daivari in full because I’m interested in how this young man will develop. There is a lot of Rocky Maivia in his build up thus far, with was short-term good, slightly longer-term bad, then major long-term exceptional. I hope they give Cody a chance at being face and heel within his opening year, so they can point his career the best way. I’m not saying he’ll be the next Dwayne Johnson, but perhaps he’ll be in the ballpark.

So then it was Kennedy v Bobby Lashley, and put me in a mask and cal me Kwang, I called it wrong. Kennedy wins.

More to the point, Lashley loses!

That, folks is a big thing. Not because I’m saying they’ve ended Lashley’s push. I think this may symbolise a new ethos among the RAW booking team.

It was so shocking, I missed the ending. That’s right, my machine was doing its super-speed gimmick (that wasn’t a Randy Orton joke) and I missed the end, because essentially I was waiting for a spear to hit. The fact Kennedy beat Lashley clean is hopefully a signpost that the man really called Ken Anderson is scheduled for big things.

Later on RAW, after a puzzlingly long Cryme Time segment that went nowhere, a storyline-progressive Booker v Lawler match, and a predicted Orton annihilation of Sarge, the main event came. Of course it was due to Orton’s intervention, but Carlito picked up the win. Yes the ‘in the doghouse’ Carlito.

Now, mark this. Khali beat Cena. But in a non-title match. Shawn Michaels beat Cena – but in a non-title match. Cena beat both of these men on PPV with the belt on the line, and the challengers winning over the The Champ was a way of building up to future clashes.

So is Carlito in line for a title match? Will it be triple threat at Summerslam. Will Kennedy or Lashley be inserted somehow. And what of Jeff Hardy, who beat Kennedy the week before, was scheduled to face Umaga, but wasn’t even seen on RAW this week?

At the moment, Randy Orton is the number one contender, but Cody Rhodes-Runnells is after him. And remember Triple H is lurking.

I like the way the lines are blurred here. We’ve seen a RAW that admittedly was padded with obvious squashes and sub-standard ‘funny’ segments. However, it had a couple of shocks, some good mic work and interesting storyline progression.

In the early Vince Russo days people watched because he wrote interested, shocking TV. He let it go to his head and started writing nonsense (mainly WCW) but when his name is vilified in the Wrestling Press, it ought to be remembered that when he was top man for the WWF writing team, they ruled the world, and have never been that high in terms of popularity again.

The reason the rating has dropped, short term, is the Benoit case and the surrounding hype of steroids in wrestling. This is a significant issue which needs to be addressed, must be addressed and will be addressed. The important thing for the WWE to do is to continue producing solid TV, which entertains and amuses the hardcore fans. And I don’t mean hardcore in the ECW sense – I mean those of us that watch come what may.

Focus on entertaining us, the mainstays, the diehards. If we like it, others will join, see a coherent piece of serial television and join. Don’t use Kevin Federline’s and people like that to spike ratings for two weeks. The people you’ve tempted back on the promise of a name and shock will be let down because it sucks. And eventually these people will stop coming back.

Three hour RAWs would be terrible, because it would mean over exposure of the top guys, longer matches which may be more entertaining, but would actually take away from the essence of selling Pay Per Views, and more tedious skits which don’t work. Add in more pressure and potential for injury leading to (whisper it) reliance on medication and it’s a recipe for trouble.

As is calling on people past their prime. Use the Benoit tragedy and a stepping stone if you like.

Apologies to the Hart family, but two of the worst things that ever happened to them may have helped the business. The ‘screwing’ of Bret Hart meant the creation of ‘Mr. McMahon’ who went on to set the sports entertainment world alight with his feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin. The sad and untimely death of Owen hart made Mr. McMahon realise that he was perhaps a little out of touch and allowed the stars themselves more leeway for character development. This led to more air time for Foley, Rock, Angle, Triple H, Benoit, Jericho, Edge, Christian, The Dudleys, The Hardys and everyone else who made 2000 possibly the best year in WWE history.

Maybe they can go from this Benoit incident and realise that we don’t want to watch gene Snitsky. We don’t want Test, Matt Morgan, A-Train, Great Khali, Nathan Jones, Bull Buchannan, or any amount of freaks with limited talents who succeed because they are nearly seven foot and look carved out of granite. No matter how often JR and Michale Cole tell us how athletic they are.

Every now and again, you get an Undertaker, Kane or Brock Lesnar from this group, but they are the exception not the rule.

Maybe they can focus on the future and continue to build on what could well be decent foundations.

Or maybe this is yet another in a series of false dawns.

Live Great American Bash notes

12.54am
The best result of the night so far – I thought it was on Box Office – just went to order it, and it’s free! I don’t have to pay for the Pay Per View I am least looking forward to for my whole life.

01.02am
Hype video time, and the intro says that the Bash is an ‘American tradition’. Now Cole says it’s a ‘Sports Entertainment Tradition’. It’s traditionally shit, is what it is.

01.08am
The bell rings on what could very well be the highlight of the night. Risky step to throw what could be your strongest card in first.

01.21am
Terrific early spot where Matt Hardy attempted to roll through to counter an armbar and MVP rolled through to counter the counter. Followed up by a perfect plancha by Matt. The match was a little disjointed at time during the middle, but was well served in making each man look good, keeping them even.

The rolling pinning combination MVP did on 12 minutes was superb, and I bought the schoolboy ending shortly after when Porter missed the boot JBL kept on about.

Disappointing ending in the sense that the boot and playmaker looked sloppy, but solid opening contest generally, and pleasing to see it go nearly 14 minutes.

01.22am
JBL, for the second time, compares MVP to FedEx, because he always delivers. In my experience, that means MVP delivers, not always in the right time limit, and if you want a match you struggle to get hold of his agent, can’t get the paperwork right and then you may turn up at the wrong address.

01.24am
Dustay (sic) delivers on the stick. Quelle surprise. I wonder if the only reason why Dusty often appears on screen with his offspring is to prove he isn’t gay. He is as camp as a row tents, isn’t he?

Actually, no he isn’t, as he’ll prove in the bull rope match, when he dresses as a cowboy, and pulls off the chaps.

01.28am
Cruiserweight open next, and it occurs to me that Funaki hasn’t been an announcer in years, but still has SmackDown on his tights.

01.35am
Right, I’m declaring the prediction void. Err……..Hornswoggle is the Cruiserweight champion? In a bizarre twist, Finlay little bas……I mean sidekick, takes Chavo’s strap. When he did a cameo at the start of the match, I thought it was maybe setting up Rey Mysterio coming from under the ring to cost Chavo the belt. Instead, a leprechaun now holds the (pot of) gold.

Leprechauns can win titles – what a load of cobblers.

01.40am
Have you noticed how Sandman is in the midst of a push with no victories? Here he comes, through the crowd, sans beer, ready to face Carlito. No beer? Maybe Carlito had taken the beer out of the fridge. That’s not cool.

Just wondering, is Sandman/Carlito/Regal the first ever three-way feud featuring solely Southpaws?

01.49am
Are you keeping track folks? So far, that’s a Cruiserweight title match won by someone not in the match, and a Singapore Cane match where precisely no can shots were landed.

01.52am
Sometimes JR staggers me in the levels of excessive hype he uses. Candice Michelle, en route to the ring to face Melina, is said to be receiving a ‘tremendous ovation’ a nice ripple of enthuasism, maybe. A frisson of excitement, perhaps. Not a tremendous ovation. Then, she is the best women’s champ in recent years This is correct.

Except Trish, Mickie, Melina, Victoria, Molly, Lita, Jazz, Gail Kim, Ivory, Jacqueline and Chyna.

She’s better than Harvey Wippleman though. Just.

2.00am
Candice has won, and now she is ‘arguably the most beautiful women’s champion ever’. Ok, better, but still inaccurate.

I’ll take Trish, Mickie, Melina and Molly before Candice. Dusty took Wippleman.

2.03am
Candice, water, dancing, Simmons, Damn, etc.

2.18am
A surprisingly good IC title match. Another genuine false finish when Jeff hit the Swanton, but Umaga ultimately taking it. Jeff Hardy is a maverick. Sometimes he looks sluggish and unfocussed, and sometimes he appears on top of his game. This match was the latter, and he make Umaga look devastating while at the same time looking good himself. Kudos to whoever booked the details of the match.

2.25am
ECW @ the GAB for the first time. If Morrison just bails on the match, is he taking the Safeway out?

2.32am
If anyone needed any evidence as to why it is important that characters are built up on TV shows to get people over, watch the ECW title match back again. Given seven minutes, the match had no heat, no crowd reaction as near as the Matt/MVP match, and not even nearly the same league as Umaga/Jeff. CM Punk could and should be a big star, but he cannot do it on ECW.

2.43am
The two or three minutes of build up to this match, with Orton building heel heat and Dusty playing to the crowd generates more noise than any part of the ECW Title bout.

2.48am
Almost to disprove my above two points, Orton applies a chinlock for about 3 minutes.

2.49am
Orton wins a match which made Melina/Candice look like Flair/Steamboat, but as expected, Cody makes an appearance to further his development, and Orton looks like a ruthless bastard.

2.57am
And here is Kane. Its some situation where he is the high flying mobile one, isn’t it?

3.01am
JBL says he doesn’t think one man can beat Khali. What is Cena then, an automaton?
Oh, and while I’m giving JBL announcing tips, maybe you should try saying “Ball Game” a bit more.

3.17am
I’ve got it. Putting that abysmal match on will make the two golden boys, Cena and Lashley, look that bit better. Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for the WWE that people keep getting injured all over the place, but that was as bad as it comes. Khali wins? They really, REALLY, hate Batista.

3.30am
Something I never budgeted for was the fact that the crowd would be split down the middle for these men. Definite mixed reactions for both guys.

3.44am
To be fair, that was not bad at all. Not a classic, and certainly not the most fluent, but I’ll give them a lot of credit for putting together a well told story, with plenty of near falls and close finishes. Fair play for booking a clean win for Cena too.

3.46am
Handshake? Yes. That suggests to me that these two are done. The future? Send Lashley to Smackdown to conquer the Great Khali, and lets see Kennedy get in Cena’s face.

The Bash? Better than Vengence, better than expected, but still a ‘must do better’ verdict for the slack build up, preparation and booking for yet another WWE PPV.

Having a Bash at predictions........

Hi Guys,

Stupidly busy last few days, muchos apologias, but I’m here now, and with the Pay Per View mere hours away, on with the predictions.

Can I firstly please point out that the title of the PPV includes the most flagrant use of the word ‘great’ in the history of the English lexicon?

This Pay Per View, with a history of abysmal shows, isn’t looking like being a 5-star classic this time either. As I pointed out in a previous entry, the fact that Cena/Lashley causes me a real interest in how they will book this, actually gives me a small sense of intrigue, but what terrifies me is the similarities to a dying WCW that I see in the line up.

Not only is the title of the event an old WCW name, not only is Dusty Rhodes involved in a prominent role, but let’s take a look at some similarities to the 1998 version.

In 1998, the undercard featured such talents as Booker T, (whisper it) Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, Juventud Guerrera, Chavo Guerrero, Eddy Guerrero, Booker T and Fit Finlay.

The top of the card saw such limited competitors as The Giant (Big Show) and Goldberg, and past it has-beens who put on crap matches, like Roddy Piper, Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. Worth pointing out that neither Hall or Nash were on this show either, nor Ed Leslie, The Warrior, Sid Vicious, Buff Bagwell, Lex Luger, or any other talentless inhabitant of the airspace above the glass ceiling.

Tonight, we see MVP v Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Carlito, Chavo Guerro in undercard matches. Shelton Benjamin, Brian Kendrick, Brian London, King Booker, Mr. Kennedy, Elijah Burke and Marcus Cor Von are all absent from the show.

Obviously, the above list pales in comparison to the talents of the WCW 1998 undercard, but you can see my point.

The top of the card this year features the catch-as-catch-can talents of The Great Khali, Batista, John Cena, Booby (not a typo, look at the pcs on the guy) Lashley, Kane, and *ahem* Dusty Rhodes.

Guys, don’t look so shocked by the appalling 3.4 rating for Raw and the failings of ECW. There is no excuses – as there won’t be after the bad buy rate that you’ll get for this.

Hope I’ve now whetted your appetite (note sarcasm), now for some thoughts match by match……

Cruiserweight Open. (Funaki, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Chavo Guerrero ©)
You know what we’ll get here. A host of impressive moves by little guys with no character – or at least that’s how they have been built up. Mere filler, and unless they feel like giving Yang a run with the belt, which is possible, but I’m going with Chavo to retain, probably after a series of finshers by the other guys.

Sandman v Carlito – Singapore Cane match.
Steve Blackman is holding his Kendo stick and wondering when they changed the name, but everyone else is just surprised that creative have got behind Sandman enough to give him a PPV match. If he beats Carlito, the Puerto Rican is clearly back in the doghouse, but I’d back the ECW alumni to take the fall here, probably with a sneaky roll up pin or the like. Maybe an interference from William Regal.

Candice Michelle v Melina – Women’s title
I actually think they are going to get behind Candice for a bit, and I’d take her to retain here. I think that Beth Phoenix will be added to the mix after this, and we’ll see a Michelle/Phoenix bout at the next PPV, but for now, no title change.

MVP v Matt Hardy – US Title
I think this will be a very solid 10-minute or so bout, not a classic, but has as much potential as any other on the card. However, asking me to pick a winner is tricky. I can see a double Hardy push, as a novelty, so I’ll go for Matt. But it’s incredibly tentative. In fact, it’s a hedged bet, as you’ll see below.

Umaga v Jeff Hardy – Intercontinental title.
As I state above, I can see a Hardy sweep. I don’t understand Umaga having the IC strap, I don’t see the point of having him squash Jeff Hardy. However I can see Hardy not winning, and perhaps they are going to run the same programme a they did with Jeff and The Undertaker some years back, where Jeff loses but looks tough. Also, consider that both Umaga and Jeff Hardy have been linked with taking part along with the Jackass Crew at Summerslam, so I can see an Umaga retention, with the longer term goal being Jeff coming back in a gimmick match at Summerslam, along with his new, death defying friends.

Dusty Rhodes v Randy Orton – Texas Bullrope Match
This was also something I talked about a while back, and while I don’t see it being much of a spectacle in terms of match quality, I do see it providing a stepping stone to a future angle – but I don’t know which one. Idea number one is the sensible one, idea number two is the more likely scenario.

Idea one is that this used as a way of introducing Cody Runnels-Rhodes as a credible superstar, by getting him over using his Dad and the uncaring Orton. Maybe.

Idea two is that Triple H wants to tackle Orton upon his return, so this is simply a way of adding another legend, or at least big name, to Orton’s victim list, making Triple H look like a returning hero slaying the evil master of the chinlocks. More likely.

If idea one is correct, Rhodes wins with the help of his son. This also facilitates the change in rules to a pinfall or submission match as opposed to the usual ‘touch the ropes’ bout.

If idea two is the right choice (I feel like a gameshow host now) then Orton will destroy one or both Rhodes’. Probably this will happen.

John Morrison neé Nitro v CM Punk – ECW World Championship
Why has no-one mentioned CM Punk more over the last few weeks? Seriously, tell me why? I’ll spell this out for you. Chris Benoit was scheduled to face CM Punk at Vengeance for the ECW Heavyweight title. It is basically agreed that the likely outcome was Benoit being given the belt and ‘making’ a host of ECW superstars.

This didn’t happen due to the Benoit Murders, and they hastily stuck the belt on Johnny Morritro instead. Since the grisly Benoit affair has unfolded, the focus of the world’s media has been drugs and steroids in Wrestling.

Err……….isn’t Punk’s gimmick his Straightedge lifestyle. Give him the belt, give him loads of airtime, even do those ‘back to my roots’ vignettes where he promotes staying clean.

No, in their minds, they’ve decided to heavily push the unnatural looking body of Lashley, the unnatural body of Batista, and the unnatural lack of talent of Great Khali.

I’m going to hedge my bets here. I’ll predict Nitrrison. If he wins, I get a prediction right. If he doesn’t, it means CM Punk will be the champ.

Batista v Average Khali v Kane – Smackdown World Title
Batista.

Oh, you want more? Ok. They can’t really keep the belt on Khali can they? Kane wasn’t going to beat Edge, so they won’t put it on him now. Batista, ponderous and predictable as he is, is the most over guy on Smackdown, it has to go with him.

The thing to look at, though, is how they get Rey Mysterio back into the picture, seeing as how he was scheduled to return to a programme with Edge.

John Cena v Bobby Lashley – WWE Championship
“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us”. The understandable but annoying push of John Cena, against the unfathomable and undeserved push of Bobby Lashley, resulting in likely the most unwatchable and unattractive spectacle of a match in some time. I just find Lashley’s act so utterly boring. He has no mic skills. He has no charisma. Not just a little, but none. His facial expressions are equal to that of a small pebble. He certainly isn’t a big Rock in the promo department.

Cena, however, though most of us are bored of him, is still fairly good on the stick, except his occasional forays into material cut from American Pie 3 to keep the 14-year-olds who like that sort of humour happy. (“ha ha, Cena said ‘Poop’. I’ll buy the Bash now.”)

I do give the WWE a lot of flak for their booking, but I also will continue to note the long term absences of Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, now Edge, and formerly Booker T and Ken Kennedy. Factor in the loss of RVD and you are looking at a massive dearth of talent.

This is the type of match that would have been greatly aided by the addition of a special ref, a no-holds-barred clause with havoc aplenty, and a touch of overbooking, because frankly it is very unappetizing and unappealing (I thought of two more ‘uns’).

I’m holding my ground from before, and going for a DQ rip-off ending. Booker T and Kennedy to interfere and cause chaos leading to a no-contest ending. Think Bret Hart v Diesel, Royal Rumble ’95.

There we go then, another set of guesses, logic and wishful thinking. I’m going to watch the whole thing.

Well, I’ll have a bash, anyway.

WWE + RAW - General Thoughts

With the Great American Bash approaching, it is time to at least attempt to put the Chris Benoit and Vince McMahon issues behind us. Let’s focus on what we all want to see and why we all watch in the first place – the in-ring action and the TV product.

This week on RAW we moved closer to finding out the card for The Great American Bash. And it’s an intriguing one – in a rather ambivalent sort of way.

The main event is the immovable object meeting the irresistible force. The Black Hole of Charisma v the man redefining the word controversy. Well, the WWE definition of controversial is someone who elicits a response from the crowds that they don’t want.

My first instinct here is to be intrigued. How will they sort this out? John Cena has been give the monster heel treatment of late. Khali, Umaga – throw Cena a string of seemingly unbeatable freaks and he’ll pull off the win somehow. Cena’s best feud by a country mile was his one with Shawn Michaels, and I hope HBK comes back fit and healthy and can maybe challenge Cena again – if he is still champion.

Lashley also spent time battling Umaga, and the combined forces of McMahon, and is the other untouchable on the roster.

The biggest problem I have between the two is the fan perception, both now and in the past. John Cena is where he is because people cottoned on to his act and began to back him. His career path is eerily similar to The Rock. Came in as basically himself, a green worker with an underdog-like gimmick, but when that didn’t really fly, showed that he had a personality and an edge by essentially being an asshole.

This was entertaining enough that eventually the fans bought into it, thus basically turning Cena face. As time has gone on, the thing that fans have turned on is not really Cena as an act, but Cena as a concept, someone who obviously isn’t the most gifted wrestler in the bracket of an Angle, Triple H, Jericho, Michaels and (whisper it) Benoit.

Lashley, however, from day one, was shoved down our throats. Because it worked pushing Brock Lesnar as “The Next Big Thing” from his first appearance, they thought they might be able to rekindle the magic. Don’t get me wrong, Lashley is really over at the moment. However, he is over with people who just cheer when they are told to. They are not the people that the WWE want to force to part with their hard-earned cash. Cena is a drawing champion, Batista was to an extent, Lashley can’t carry the company in the same way, he doesn’t put on 5-star matches or have a great charisma. Actually, I think he is a very lucky boy to be in that position.

So the mark in me wants to find out who the WWE will put over and push as the top man. The realist in me says that there will be one of two finishes likely.

1) While the ref is knocked out, Lashley hits a spear and gets a visual fall for 3. Either a ref from the back come out and Cena just about kicks out, or Lashley takes ages reviving the official, and Cena gets a schoolboy or an FU. Either way both men look ok for it. Cena comes out champ, Lashley says he should have won, we get a rematch at Summerslam.
2) Booker, Kennedy and any applicable others insert themselves and it leads to a double DQ, exactly the way the WWF bottled it back in the day, when Bret Hart faced Diesel (Kevin Nash) at Royal Rumble 1995.

I can’t see any way that it’ll be a clean finish. If you have your own opinion on the finish, do let me know.

Elsewhere on the card, Kane, who has spent the last few years tagging with Big Show, going mad when he heard the date May 19th, fighting an unexplained bloke who was dressed like he used to be, feuding (and losing) to Umaga, feuding with MVP before he was any good, briefly tangling with Booker T, and losing snoozefests with Khali and Mark Henry.

So logically he is the number one contender.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always quite liked Kane. He’s been a strong hand for a fairly long time, and at least he and Edge have had a couple of decent matches in the past. It’s just that you can’t help but think that this is sheer desperation.

Johnny Nitro and CM Punk will go at it again, and here you can see Punk taking the belt after a review of what has gone on. I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that the idea was for Benoit to be ECW Champion, marginally beating Punk, with Punk chasing the title and Benoit improving the Straightedge star by association.

Now that this is obviously out of the equation, I can’t see Nitro really carrying a brand, and I don’t think it was intended this way, it was a snap decision and short term measure.

I suppose the match that’ll carry a lot of build up and intrigue will be the supposed return of Dusty Rhodes to face Randy Orton. My first thought when they were building it up was that it’d become Dusty & Cody to face Randy & Cowboy Bob.

Here’s what I’ll throw up for you – Cody heel turn. My take is that the WWE decide that Cody Runnels/Rhodes (he got called both on RAW, so I don’t know what they’ll go with) is ready for the main roster. They want to use his famous father to help him make the transition, and who better to use in conjunction with a legend, than the Legend Killer Randy Orton.

But think of the history with Goldust (Dustin Runnels) and his father. They teamed in the early days, but Dustin and Virgil (Dusty) haven’t always hit it off. I think that you might see an Orton v Dusty match where Orton dominates, Cody comes to the ring, Dusty fights back, and Cody nails his old man.

Cody is associated on screen with Randy Orton to help him get over. His reason for the turn is that his Dad never put him first, he always put wrestling first. This would also create a great springboard for a career, rather than the WWE simply saying: “Here’s a new guy, he’s good/evil (delete as applicable).”

Anyway, this likely won’t happen. Randy will destroy Dusty, leading to Cody wanting revenge and a future grudge match. However, a spanner in those works is that allegedly Triple H will be back in time for Summerslam, and he wants to work a programme with Orton.

Hmm, we’ll see about this one.

Either way, the segment with Orton and Dusty was by far and away the strongest on RAW, with The Dream reminding us all what he can do on the stick, and Randy playing the smug young smart-ass to the hilt. Terrific stuff.

We’re looking at Melina v Candice again at the Bash. I could do a really seedy joke about having a bash to this match…………so I will…………

Melina & Candice at the Bash? We’ll all be having a bash at that one, won’t we lads?

Went well I thought.

The only other confirmed match, as far as I know, is Batista v Khali, but this will be so interminably awful I don’t even want to talk about it until I have to. This is my blog and I can do what I like.

Back soon for more thoughts.

Back, with a Vengeance reaction

OK, so I’ve had some time to ponder last night, and collate my thoughts a little. I’m still feeling very deflated about the whole Vengeance PPV, and the WWE in general.

In my mind, of the nine matches, one was good (Edge v Batista) four were average (Hardys v Cade & Murdoch, Nitro v Punk, Chavo v Yang, MVP v Flair) one was barely a match (Umaga v Marella) Two were below par (Candice v Melina, The main event) and one was beyond dreadful (Deuce/Domino v Snuka/Sarge)

That’s an appalling return for Pay Per View which I was looking forward to, especially the main event which was so poor considering the talent and potential in the ring. If any of you saw TNA’s Slammiversary last week, the King of the Mountain title match was a great spectacle, a quality concept and really well put together. The WWE’s main event didn’t even come close to the efforts of Joe, Styles, Cage, Angle and Harris.

I’m fairly confident that Raw tonight will be better than Vengeance. I know that isn’t hard, but the annoying thing is, I bet Vengeance got a lot of people to purchase the PPV because of Benoit/Punk and the fiveway title match, and many of these people will become disillusioned about getting another PPV if this is what you get for your money.

When Raw is the following day and also a 3 hour show, as it was a fortnight ago, you wonder whether Pay per Views lose their edge and appeal.

I would definitely advocate cutting back dramatically on the amount of Pay Per View shows. Less could well be more, and I’m not begging for TNA to pick up a second hour and start pushing WWE a little bit. It might frighten them into action, like what happened when WCW went into overdrive.

There is only one company who resemble WCW circa 2000 at the moment, and it’s the company based in Stamford.

Guys, I want your thoughts. Please leave your comments below, because I do wonder if I am too scathing sometimes. I’ll get back to you on all feedback.

Vengeance: Blight of Champions

1.00am
Hi all, its Vengeance time. As I type this, the opening montage is on, running through the card, and I’ve just read on a news site that Benoit may miss the show tonight. I jinxed the England Under-21s this week by saying it would be a Serbia-England final on Football365, I’m praying that me saying that Benoit/Punk is the match I am looking forward to more than any I can remember of late, isn’t going to scupper it.

1.04am
Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham, former Tag Team champions, are shown in the audience, and a flashback of them competing in 1985 is shown.

Funnily enough, no sign of them wrestling as Captain if a ship, IRS, The new Blackjacks or The Stalker. How strange.

1.06am
So it’ll be The Hardys and Cade & Murdoch to open. I like Cade and Murdoch, I think Cade especially could have a bright future, but damn, they aren’t over at the moment. In fact, their logo comes from a branding iron, and they should carry one to the ring – it’s the only way they’ll get any heat. Boom. And indeed, boom.

1.16am
Wow. 0 for 1 for me, as Cade & Murdoch get it done against the Hardys. Reasonably clean as well. One would think that Londrick will be next up for C&M, and that the Hardys will go back their respective brand and prepare for government – I mean, prepare for singles pushes.

1.19am
A Summerslam advert, and basically confirmation that the Jackass crew will indeed be part of the August PPV. So, a TV show where ordinary people hurt themselves in very, very stupid ways.

Oh, don’t try this at home, by the way…………

1.22am
A strange juxtaposition, as a clip of the late Eddie Guererro winning the World title from Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004. Nice memories.

So out comes Chavo, Eddie’s nephew, as a heel. Hmm.

1.23am
Jimmy Wang Yang (even less reaction than Cade & Murdoch) is now battling Chavo, and JBL is going through the legendary Guerrero family. Gory Guererro, grandfather of Chavo, is mentioned. His dad, Chavo Classic, a former Cruiserweight champion and a man who tagged in Houston with Mil Mascaras.

No mention of Hector Guererro, who portrayed the Goobledy Gooker. Funny that.

During this match, we’ve so far has references to Mascaras, the man of a thousand masks. Also Dean Malenko, the man of a thousand holds. I’m waiting for a reference to Vince McMahon. Man in a thousand pieces.

Christ, its like Tenpole Tudor have turned up. (kids, I’d google that one if I were you, I can’t be bother to explain it. The match is decent, by the way, so far.)

1.33am
Chavo wins.

Now you won’t get many overtones about this being a 5-star classic, or indeed anyone remembering it in more than about 3 months time. However, I’d like to point out how well this match was booked and performed, because for much of it Yang had no reaction to anything, but by dropping in highspots like a flying bodypress (nearfall) and moonsault (missed) the crowd got into it, and when Jimmy reversed the Gorybomb in a sunset flip, the nearfall elicited a big gasp from the audience. Good matches tell a good story, and manipulate audience reaction. Good job here.

1.39am
6 minutes of Vince related filler, and actually some good stuff, studying the last movements of the chairman, and even teasing a ‘major breathrough’ tomorrow night on Raw.

1.41am
Damn it. Damn it, damn it. I wish I knew someone called Janet and I’d say it to her.

Benoit didn’t make it. There’s a massive “We want Benoit” chant in the arena, as CM Punk is taking on Nitro. No-one’s fault, I sincerely hope Chris and his family are ok, and that whatever the situation forcing him to miss this show, it not too serious in the longrun.

The trouble is, I don’t think either of these guys are ready for the title yet. Lets just hope for a decent match.

1.50am
Johnny Nitro, former winner of Tough Enough, wins the ECW title. A clean win over CM Punk, no less, is how he got there.

If Benoit is back by Tuesday, he will kill him. They will want Benoit to carry this belt for a while, and him taking it off Punk on an ECW show is pointless. He’ll take it from Nitro, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a Nitro, Benoit, Punk triple threat on PPV.

1.55am
Here comes Ricky Steamboat, and JR & King talk about his match with Savage at Wrestlemania 3, and his series of encounters with Ric Flair.

Not when they dressed him up in orange wings and pretended he could actually breath fire.

1.57am
Its Santino v Umaga, and as I ponder where Estrada is these days, it strikes me that it perpetuates the “Umaga is a lunatic” idea. I smell a DQ.

2.01am
I swear I wrote the above paragraph before the match.

But come on. That was a really, really pissweak DQ finish. It was a few right hands in the corner, something you see in virtually every match and which is allowed to happen. Utter crap

The funniest thing was that Umaga was cheered as a face after the event. He was cheered when he attacked Santino post-bell, and when he looked as his thumb to symbolize the spike, I think it was as big a pop as I’d heard all night. The people then chanted “One more time”, and I think were expecting Maria, who had rushed to Santino’s aide, to get it too.

Remember the “kill the clown” chants directed at Doink? That was Santino’s equivalent.

2.08am
Magnum T.A. is announced to the crowd. Wow, that’s some mustache he has on him. Magnum was a good show, but he was crap in Three Men and a Baby. What do you mean, “wrong guy”?

2.10am
Flair v MVP now. This show is dying. We need these two, both very strong hands, to come through. This is the middle match on the show, and apart from the two main title matches, we have the Womens title and a tag team ‘challenge’ where is=f the rumours about the participants I hear are true, it’ll be a challenge for the match to anything but stink and for the challengers to be able to run and jump at all.

2.20am
MVP wins, and as I suspected, he played dirty to do so. Fair enough. I have no problems with this match at all. It was tight, it didn’t expose either man, it had a logical conclusion.

So far we’ve had four out of five heel wins, and the babyface victory was Santino, who didn’t really look like a champion. Also, apart from the ECW title, which was vacant, we’ve had no title changes thus far.

2.25am
They show Rick Martel and Tony Garea in the crowd. My God, what will happen if a backstage fight breaks out. That’s Garea job to sort it out!

The showed them winning the tag gold from The Wild Samoans. They didn’t show Rick Martel spraying Jake Roberts in the eye with perfume, and have a match with sacks on their head.

2.29am
Yep, at a combined age of 112, its Sarge and the Superfly, with the only interesting story being that Deuce is in fact the adopted son of Jimmy Snuka.

I thought it was going to be two Majors, and instead I got a Sergeant.

I’d have had The Iron Sheik on commentary for this one, that’d been priceless.

2.37am
Garea and Martel shockingly (!) get involved after Deuce and Domino win then beat down the legends. The combined age of the people in the ring now goes past 200. At least there is something on the show older than my jokes.

2.47am
Long period of build up and intro, including Harley Race at ringside. They have shown former champions of every belt thus far, and it’s the Women’s title next. It will be probably be Moolah, but I’m begging for it to be Harvey Wippleman!

Edge and Batista III then which, if it’s a feud blow-off and there is nothing to suggest otherwise, you’d feel would benefit from a stipulation. Maybe 2 out of 3 falls or something. After all, their last match was in a cage. Maybe Adam Copeland thought “Edge inside Cage” sounded like a gay slur about him and his best friend, the former TNA champion.

3.05am
Hooray! A good match. Finally. Great action, back and forth, and the more I watch Edge the more impressed I become. I was very hasty in predicting Batista to win this, because I’d say Edge is THE best all round performer in the company at the moment. He deserves that belt more than anyone.

People will slate the end of the match, but I liked it. The fake DQ and restart has been done loads of times, but I thought the count-out finish was creative, it didn’t bury Edge or make Batista look week. Maybe, if they are struggling for a route to go down, they could have Batista assist whomever Edge faces, with the idea being that Batista rids the rated R superstar of the belt, then is a allowed a title shot.

3.10am
Damn, it was Moolah they reviewed. She doesn’t seem to be there. Presumably she and Mae Young are in quarantine after the dog barking routine on Raw the other week.

Two matches to go then – still no title changes, still no face wins.

3.14am
We’re a couple of minutes into Melina and Candice, and the two divas are being very vocal. Lots of grunting and groaning. I bet I won’t hear noises like that on TV until……….well tomorrow, when Wimbledon starts.

Excuse me, I need a Sharapova moment…………….

3.16am
Good lord, that was the last title change and face win I expected. And what a pretty face too. To Candice’s credit, she has improved a great deal of late, and we should remember that Trish was hopeless when she first started, and turned into as good a Women’s champion as there has ever been.

3.30am
For the second time in the space of a week, I’m watching a Pay Per View main event with 5 people vying for a World Title. Lets see how they compare.

3.41am
Hmm. I try and make a joke about the goings on in these PPVs, and I hope you find it at least vaguely entertaining. However, after that short, uneventful, uninspiring, very disappointing main event, which fittingly caps a distinctly poor Pay Per View.

The WWE is in trouble, big time. TNA got its biggest ever rating last week. Admittedly we are talking 1.2 to around about 4.0, but Slammiversary was vastly superior to Vengeance, and if Jeff and Dixie can successfully lobby for 2 hours, I’m begging that people give TNA a try as a genuine alternative, and hopefully it will inspire the WWE creative team to get out of this worrying slump.

I’ll try to get back within a few days to elaborate on my thoughts. Also, keep an eye on www.thesun.co.uk/wrestling, which has had a makeover and will likely feature some of my current thoughts.

Good night, all. I think I probably should have gone to sleep 3 hours ago.

More talk about Vince? No Vengeance in hell. (yeah, that was pretty weak)

So the next WWE Pay Per View comes hurtling into view, and it doesn’t seem four weeks since the last one.

And that’s because it was three.

To me, there are far too many Pay Per Views at the moment. Two problems with this: the first is that people only have so much disposable income. To watch all the PPVs, even for viewers here in the UK, for whom not every big show requires payment, is a considerable outlay. And for that, you want quality.

Which leads me to the second problem. Pay Per Views used to be when matches you were looking forward to took place, rivalries came to a bitter end, and major turning pints occurred. Now, this is very rare.

On Sunday’s Vengeance card you have three matches we’ve seen at least once on PPV (Edge/Batista, Melina/Candice, Hardys/Cade & Murdoch), two which were decided in the last 10 days of programming via qualification (Punk/Benoit, Yang/Chavo) and two which have basically no build up (Flair/MVP, Marella/Umaga).

And why is this? Well, the injury crisis hasn’t helped. Having several major stars out of the picture isn’t helpful to anyone. And obviously, the whole Vince’s Limo angle has overshadowed events of late.

So what will happen Sunday? Let’s take a look……..

US Title: Ric Flair v MVP (c)
As mentioned, zero build up to this, and no real reason to care, really. Logically, I don’t understand what Flair has done to earn this shot, ahead of, lets say Finlay, or indeed Khali, who was challenging for the most prestigious title in the company three weeks ago, and now can’t be seen. I’m not complaining, like, but logically Flair isn’t in the reckoning.

He is, though, still popular and a draw, so that is likely the reason for strong-arming him in somewhere.

I’d have this opening the show, as you know it’ll be fairly solid and likely not overlong. This is probably a slight ‘feed’ for MVP, who has shown massive potential and development during his feud with Benoit. The Porter/Benoit feud was, I would suggest, the catalyst for sending The Crippler to ECW, where he can do the same kind of this with Burke, Punk, Cor Von, etc.

I’m taking MVP to win this, probably with a liberal helping of tights or ropes to assist him. A US title reign does nothing for Flair, while a victory over the Nature Boy elevates MVP somewhat. A victory over “The dirtiest player in the game” through cheating makes sense.

WWE Tag Team Titles: The Hardys v Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch ©
For me, the title change should have occurred in their first match. Cade and Murdoch don’t look impressive for having beaten the Hardys, because when they did claim the gold, Matt and Jeff were selling their injuries from a ladder match.

Had their first encounter been a title switch, you could have had the rematch as the second bout on PPV, and the titles going back to the boys from Raleigh on the third go-round.

Anyhoo, they did it this way, and perhaps it’s because they intend to keep the belts on Cade and Murdoch. I think it is more likely that The Hardys regain the titles, and go on to face London and Kendrick. I hope so anyway, because that would make for cracking viewing.

I’ll go for the Hardys, because Londrick should be waiting, and because I don’t think WWE have the nerve to job them on Pay Per View.

World Tag Team title Open Challenge.
Deuce and Domino have apparently issued an open challenge for their titles. Whoopee.

There is only one other team on SmackDown, which is the Major Brothers, so logically it’ll be them, unless the WWE decide to go with what they do on occasions, which is mismatched partners who win a belt, then go on to feud. I can only find, though, with the help of WWE.com’s Smackdown Superstars page, four available babyfaces: Shannon Moore, Funaki, Kane and Eugene. Kane and Eugene has to be a possibility, but I’d still plump that it’ll be the Majors.

The only other option is to have a Raw team step up, perhaps Cryme Time or The Highlanders, in which case they could win the belts and move to SD, making a complete mockery of the Draft (get the “R” out).

Since I have to make a prediction, I’ll say that whoever the challengers are will win.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang v Chavo Guerrero ©
This should be a fairly solid encounter, with Chavo being another Benoit-like character, who can help others to improve. This, I would suggest is why is Cruiserweight champion, much like Dean Malenko several years ago.

I don’t see any change to his situation, and the booking up to this show backs up his retention claims, in my eyes. Booking JWY to look a credible challenger, beating Chavo in previous encounters, the WWE are trying to stress he is good enough to pull off the win at Vengeance. Not for me.

Should be decent, but Chavo will win.

Womens Championship: Melina Perez © v Candice Michelle
With more silicon in the ring than is in the PC I’m typing this on, I’m not expecting a catch-as-catch-can classic, but this shouldn’t be a complete disaster. Candice has shown significant improvement of late, and Melina’s character is a strong one, so this feud has been reasonably watchable.

I think Melina will retain, as I don’t think they would be able to rely on Candice to be quite strong enough to carry the title just yet.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella © v Umaga
To be fair, I got sick of the underdog routine after Barry Horowitz’s second match, so subsequent similar angles with Crash Holly, Spike Dudley and now Santino Marella don’t particularly interest me.

My first instinct was that this would be simply a way of taking the belt away from the Italian, by virtue of the fact that Umaga is an unstoppable monster (unless you’re Cena or Lashley, of course). However, a Regal v Marella programme was teased on Raw, with the attractive, though not exactly Oscar-nominated, Maria in the middle. And that makes more sense as a title encounter, rather than a feud for the hell of it. And where does the Samaon Bulldozer go with the belt?

Tricky one. I’ll stick with Umaga, because I can’t see him being dropped after ht push his character has received, to lose to Marella. Remember, the reason he lost in the first place was because Lashley imposed himself.

ECW World Title: Chris Benoit v CM Punk (title currently vacant)
Hopefully this will be given plenty of time, a sensible position on the card (about third last) and a sensible, clean finish.

What this match needs is for that rarest of beasts to occur – a match which finishes clean, but manages to put over both men at the same time. It’s a tough ask, but these men are up to.

Benoit needs to win this. CM Punk is a future star, should be a future world Champion, but needs time to develop and perfect his craft. There is no hurry; Bret Hart was 35 before winning his first WWF title – Punk is just 28.

And the point I made previously about losing a match but still getting over? Steve Austin was a ‘future star’ until Bret Hart beat him in five-star classic at Wrestlemania 13. This was the catalyst for Austin’s career, and he took off after this.

So give the ECW title to Benoit, but book it closely, with loads of near falls and false finishes, perhaps throw in Punk not tapping to the crossface after prolonged pressure, and Benoit winning with a wresting hold. Follow this with a handshake of respect, and you might be talking Match of the Year contendership.

I don’t think I’ve looked forward to a match quite as much for some time. I hope they deliver. Benoit to win, just.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge © v Batista
This is quite tricky to call, I think. I’ve been quite impressed that Edge has been booked to win reasonably cleanly twice, to be honest. Once again, back to the logic thing, how many consecutive title matches has Batista failed to win? I make it 5. Now the first one he lost the belt, so earns a rematch. Then there were two draws, so fair enough. But he didn’t really earn the last one, nor this.

Anyway, here we are, and most reports I have read seem to be saying to put your house on Edge to win. I’m not so confident.

It’s interesting to note that this is now a “Last Chance match” rather than a “do or die” match. Presumably the bad taste surrounding the Mr. McMahon explosion or even Sherri Martel’s passing. Anyway, so if Batista doesn’t win, he doesn’t get another title shot while Edge is champion.

Back to the lack of faces on the Smackdown roster, and I’m trying to see where Edge goes next if he wins. And all I can see is a returning Rey Mysterio. Otherwise, Batista can be set for title programmes with Mark Henry or The Great Khali – I didn’t say they;d be pretty, but its likely, isn’t it?

So against the grain, I’m going to plump for Batista. Although I reserve the right to award myself a late half-point if Edge wins and feuds with Mysterio next.

WWE Championship Challenge match – John Cena © v Randy Orton v King Booker v Bobby Lashley v Mick Foley.
I think that I have to wheel out the old patented (the patent finally came through) McNichol Eliminator for this one. But it might not get me that far……..

Firstly, Mick Foley doesn’t win. He can’t, that’s nonsense, forget it.

Next, Booker isn’t going to take this. He isn’t nearly as high a calibre as the other three remaining. If it goes to a heel, it goes to Randy Orton. And can you see someone who is admittedly talented, but with a played-out gimmick headlining the flagship show? No. He’s out.

So we are down to Cena, Lashley and Orton. Three ‘untouchables’.

Cena and Lashley have been the unstoppable champions, overcoming all odds and defeating most everything in their path, almost Hogan-style. Randy Orton, meanwhile, despite the occasional destruction of a hotel room and defecation in Diva’s bags, is favoured currently – mainly because Triple H wants him kept strong until The Game himself returns.

I really am struggling, and the McNichol Eliminator Add-on of a random guess isn’t fully developed yet, so I have to try and be logical.

I’m going for a bit of wild stab. I’m going for Orton.

Why? Well first of all, I’ll say that he won’t be pinning Cena or Lashley. I suspect that Foley’s inclusion might be so that Orton can pin a face without making Cena or Lashley seem weak by comparison. Cena then says he wasn’t pinned for the belt, Lashley hasn’t lost cleanly since he lost the ECW one, so they are still strong.

And as an extra variable, what about Cena being accused of the McMahon limo explosion? I’m not saying that he’ll be revealed as the one who did it, but I could see some sort of angle where Coach, with support from Stephanie, stops Cena from having any more title involvement, while they investigate him.

Prediction: Randy Orton, and that I need to design McNichol Eliminator 2.0.


So there we are. I am actually really looking forward to Vengeance, mainly because of Benoit and Punk, which I expect to be excellent, and the Raw, WWE championship match which I really have no idea who’ll come out victorious.

Enjoy Vengeance, I’ll see you back here on Monday for a recap.

A quick note on Vince's possible assailant(s)...........

I don't think it takes a expert on 1980s television to draw a slight parallel between the new WWE "Who killed Vince?" angle and the famous Dallas "Who Shot JR?".

So in honour of that, I propose that the three consipirators in this campaign to be relevaled to Lashley, Dusty Rhodes and Jim Ross.

Bobby, the Dream and JR.

You heard it here first.

Is it me, or is getting drafty in here?

I am writing this some 12 hours before RAW is scheduled to start tonight, with their 3-hour draft special. (1am start in the UK tonight, guys not 2am)

I’m really looking forward to it. I have a list of grievances with WWE as long as my arm. In fact as long as Mr. Tickle’s arm. (I’ve been a writer 7 years and I think that’s my first ever Mr. Men reference – and I loved it) However, I feel that in the present climate, they really are urinating into the wind as it were. The injury problems that have just mounted up leads to a, and you’ll hopefully pardon the turn of phrase, crippling of the roster. Consider this:

Booker T
Rey Mysterio
Triple H
The Undertaker
Ken Kennedy
Shawn Michaels

Now add Rob Van Dam not being around for a different reason and Big Show has left, and you are talking eight different main event level stars who are currently out of action for one reason or another. So who is left? Well, Edge, Cena and Lashley are the champions, Batista is still up there, Orton I suppose, and probably you could include Benoit in the list if pushed. But realistically, Khali and Umaga have been pushed up into the picture, with the use of Lashley’s extended feud with Mr. McMahon trying desperately to cover up the deficiencies.

The good news? Well, Mysterio, Booker, Kennedy and Triple H should be back in action relatively soon, and with the popularity of the Hardys as high as it’s ever been, the elevation of MVP, and the continuing progress of CM Punk should mean a restoration of prominence for the product in the upcoming weeks and months.

So the draft? Firstly, I’m unsure as to how the process will work. When the original roster split took place, Ric Flair and Vince McMahon (storyline Co-owners) selected ten wrestlers each, as I recall, on RAW, then everybody else was just drafted afterwards and they told us on WWE.com.

Last time, someone simply got drafted to another show each time, beginning with John Cena going from SD to Raw, and ending with Batista taking the opposite route. Drafts have seen teams broken up, which was a bad thing for the Dudleys, who floundered, but a short–term boost for Shelton Benjamin, who was pushed heavily on RAW.

Looking at logical moves, I’d say that Chris Benoit is long overdue a move, and may be sent to ECW what with his history with the company, plus their loss of RVD. He may also replace CM Punk, who I can see benefiting by moving to Smackdown. The reason I say this, is I would send Carlito and Shelton Benjamin to Friday nights as well.

To me, the draft should be there to freshen up the roster, to create new feuds, or ones we haven’t seen in a while, and to allow workers who careers are dwindling, or stagnating, to be given a fresh opportunity to shine. Carlito and Shelton are in this bracket. However, there were in this bracket the last time there was a draft, I think and were moved then. But having these two jump to Smackdown along with Punk would give the Straightedge superstar more scope for interesting angles – on a show people actually watch.

Since there are no tag team titles on ECW, I fail to see why the Major Brothers would logically stay there. So if no ECW tag titles are forthcoming (and its best there aren’t) then send them to Smackdown too.

To Raw? I’d send Booker T to compete there when fit again, and possibly Finlay or someone of that level. He’d be good for Santino Marella to help him improve after his rushed push to prominence which has further devalued the Intercontinental title. You know what’ll happen though, don’t you? They’ll move Mark Henry to Raw, so after sleeping through Cena and Khali, we get another immobile freak with no heat for Cena to squash. Or maybe Lashley might have to The World Strongest Man with the World Longest Contract with the Worlds Wrongest Push.

But it’s good to have some contention about whats going to happen, and really nice to look forward to a show. Don’t let me, down, WWE.

One Night Stand - An Extreme Letdown

1.05am
In 2005, he showed how good he was on the microphone with a great promo. Rumour has it the whole pay-per-view was his creation.

In 2006, he main evented again John Cena, and emerged victorious in front of a rapid, pro-ECW crowd.

How sad then, that if this is his last match, its one with a rubbish gimmick attached to it. I mean, honestly – pull your opponent over a finish line with a stretcher? What is this, It’s a Knockout? Wouldn’t it have meant something for RVD to have his final match in an ECW rules match in front of an ECW crowd……a REAL ECW crowd.

But never mind, I just hope he goes out with a bang.


1.25am
Haha, swerve city! Although I did read a report earlier that Vince may change the finish in order to fool us all, but I’ll admit I didn’t believe it. Maybe we will see Van Dam again.

To be fair, sentimentality aside, this was a great match from the WWEs perspective. It wasn’t quite a Flair/Steamboat classic or a Bret/Bulldog from Wembley. It did, however, elicit great sympathy from the fans for the babyface in peril, RVD, and made Randy Orton look like a complete bastard, which is the longer term aim.

Some great spots too. The fall from the top rope added to the psychology, the rolling thunder into the powerslam was perfect, and both men seemed to work the match very stiffly, which truly lend it an air of gravitas.

The thing that struck me early on was that it was supposed to be extreme rules, as JR, King and other keep reiterating, and yet basically no illegal moves were used, save for a few closed fists. I mean, wouldn’t RVD have gone to get a chair as soon as he got the opportunity?

Anyway, maybe it’s a goodwill gesture, as if to say that if RVD wants to return, they’d welcome him back.


1.30am
The daft CM Punk storyline is painful, as is ECW generally. So far, at least it has yielded a decent Punk/Burke match. I get the feeling this tables match will be organized chaos.

1.33am
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Why are they starting the match on the apron? A) Its no-DQ, what is going to happen if someone interferes? Nothing. B) Since when was ECW about following rules and guidelines. C) The first table match I saw (non-ECW) was the Hardys v the Dudleys at Royal Rumble 2000. It was tornado tag.

Once again, I repeat: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


1.40am
Fairly short match, booked to showpiece Punk, which is fair enough. However, I’d like to point out that 40 minutes into this pay-per-view, the only pieces of weaponry on show have been items that are part of the matches themselves, except for the Sandman’s cane, which he hit Striker which about as hard as one would tap a spoon on a boiled egg.

1.43am
A sort backstage spot where Orton and Edge basically threaten each other, and Orton manages to get the date of the draft wrong, and do a feeble Goldberg impression. In fact, Randy, remind us long that streak is? 32-0? 125-0? 999-0? In fact, Orton hasn’t lost a match for over 20 minutes. Way to go, Legend Killer.

1.46am
Time for the ladder match. By my maths, that means after this we have the three title matches, Kane/Henry in a concession stand match (for the fans in the arena anyway) and …………….PUDDING!!!!

1.52am
I know JR is a Hall of Famer and all that, but so far he has said that Matt and Jeff are as good in singles matches as they are in tag matches – so they both have 6 world titles do they? – and that a ladder can be used ‘defensively’. How, exactly?

2.06am
This match never got going. Whether we are spoiled by Money in the Bank and TLC matches, I’m not sure, but I just don’t think The Hardys, Benjamin and Haas clicked. Don’t get me wrongly, the bumps taken, by Shelton in particular, were pretty brutal, but as well as being disjointed, it featured Haas slipping when German Suplexing Jeff off the top rope, Benjamin having two mishaps with the ropes within 60 seconds, which I am sure were botched, as well as the most piss-weak double team maneuver I have ever seen, as Haas and Benjamin, did some sort of forward roll hip toss resembling a nine year old gymnastics lesson.

To be fair, I’m probably being way too critical, but I just felt it lacked a little. I bet it was fantastic live though. I shall watch this in a replay with a less critical eye, and will like it, I’m sure. Would have been a hell of a fillip for The World’s Greatest Tag Team to beat the World’s Most Over Tag Team, though. Would then have been good to watch the Hardys chase the titles down, rather than just obliterate their opponents. All the time.

2.07am
I listened to a Khali promo, and tried to pick out English words. I got “On me a catastrophic oblong.” I hear you, buddy. I intend to play “The Khali Game every time from now on. I urge you to too.

2.10am
Lumberjack match now, and I think the only reason they announced the Lumberjacks individually was to play the whole ONS theme song for longer.

If Mark Henry is only 390lbs, then Khali is an inch taller than Hornswoggle, Snitsky is a black guy, and Jillian Hall’s tits are real.

It tells you something about how people get ahead in WWE, when this utter bore-fest, travesty of a wrestling match which made me want to cry, goes ahead, but Carlito, Benoit, Nitro and Chavo are stood on the outside watching.

2.22am
The Match ends as Kane falls asleep. No seriously That’s like David Copperfield getting robbed by a pickpocket.

2.25am
A backstage fight breaks out between The Hardys and TWGTT. Fair enough. I wonder if Tony Garea gets paid extra for appearing on TV to separate these fights.

2.29am
Here comes the Boss. And he has Shane and Umaga in tow.

I can smell the Pudding.

2.32am
Lashley misses his first move. 0 for 1.

2.37am
Jesus, Bobby neds to work on the art o making friends. Not too many folks rushing out to help him right now, is there?

2.43am
That Estrada was useless wasn’t he? Umaga was a mad savage, responding only to the symbolism of breaking a cigar. Two months with The McMahons, and they’ve got him holding trash cans in place and patting the boss’s head.

Speaking of the trash can – it hit Umaga in the head. If wrestling has tought me nothing else, its that Samoans all have heads so hard you cant hurt them. I is confusinged! (sic)

2.45am
Lashley wins, fairly well pud together. All competitors pud in a lot of effort, and credit to them for puddin themselves out. Pudding themselves…….puddin…….PUDDING!

2.51am
After a fun skit with Santino, Maria and Candice (Damn, indeed, Mr Simmons) we’re ready to go. I’m worried about the depth of pudding. Wrestling has had enough bad press, we don’t need items on news programmes worldwide leading with the unfortunate drowning of a diva. Candice and Melina have decent buoyancy aids though.

2.56am
It’s over already. I demand an Iron Woman Pudding match at Vengeance.

3.00am
The cage is lowered, and I’m trying to work out how Edge can retain without Batista losing face. I can only think that Orton will insert himself in the match somehow.

3.25am
A fairly standard cage match, with Edge bumping like a mad thing, and a reasonably logical ending. I like the fact that Edge has now won two matches fairly. Cheaply, yes, but legally nonetheless. I hate it when a heel champion is booked weakly with the belt for no reason other than he isn’t a babyface. To me, he can be a weasel, a whiner and a cheat, but he needs to be a bit of a badass, and a legitimate champion. That way people pay to see them get whats coming to them, and the face looks great for having beaten the guy who hasn’t lost in ages. Remember: ECW = Edge Can Work.

Worth noting that Batista would still make for a reasonably credible challenger, Orton has been build up well, Kennedy and Mysterio aren’t far off returning. The draft could be very interesting.

3.30am
Cena v Khali – this might make the pudding match look like a catch-as-catch-can classic……….

3.41am
Mercifully, as I find myself saying for the second time in 4 weeks, it was short. Just please God, no more of it.

Sorry to be negative about the whole thing, but I cannot in any good faith give a thumbs up to this Pay Per View. Henry v Kane was abysmal, Khali v Cena uninteresting. I have joked about the pudding match, but it was poor fare really. Edge v Batista was fine, but no better than many main events we’ve seen on Raw and Smackdown of late.

Hardys v Haas & Benjamin had its moments, and was probably the best spectacle on the card, although I thought Orton and RVD worked their socks off. Six man tables match was uninspired, and Lashley beating Vince was probably one match too many.

Worth staying up for? Lets just say I’m glad I didn’t have to pay for it.

Extreme-ly glad.

Depending on WWE announcers whims, they often talk of either Hell in a Cell or the Elimination Chamber as being the ‘most demonic structure’ in the federation. These matches can shorten careers, JR & co will tell co. Hear Michael Cole go into hyperbolic overdrive as he insists that the steel can take human form and become ‘a carnivore’. But if you think that these are the most dangerous and extreme matches possible in pro wrestling, think again. I have one word for you.

Pudding.

Yes that’s right, although the most prestigious (only) women’s world title is not on the line on Sunday at One Night Stand, Candice Michelle bids to put one over current champeen Melina.

Could you imagine, back when Joe Frazier was world heavyweight boxing champion, and Muhammed Ali lay claim to the belt, before they went toe-to-toe in The Fight of the Century at Madison Square garden, they had a non-title encounter in a paddling pool filled with junk food?

This may be a sticky situation for champion Melina, who is likely to get her just desserts in a match which is Candice’s bread and butter.

Prediction here says that Candice will win, then get soundly beaten in a title match at Vengeance.

One Night Stand is shaping up to be a strange Pay Per View. Not just because of its name – how can it be a one night stand if it’s the third time you’ve done it? But anyway, from an artistic perspective, heaping stipulations on every match could be tricky. After all, the idea of gimmick matches is really as a feud ender, when ordinary matches couldn’t get it done. To just have a two week Hardys/WGTT programme and then say ‘oh we’ll have a ladder match’ may affect fans expectations further down the line. However, for now, we’ll just concentrate on the PPV.

Aside from the above Pudding match, seven other matches are currently scheduled, all with a certain stipulation added to it.

The most recent, and the least anticipated, will be Kane v Mark Henry in a lumberjack match.

I’ve never understood lumberjack matches. The theory is that it’s dangerous because if you leave the ring there are loads of people there to beat on you, and you get no respite because they throw you back in to your hungry opponent.

In the dim and distant past, George Hackenschmidt didn’t run Frank Gotch over the barrier into the crowd, or backdrop him through the announce table. Today, leaving the ring and changing the complexion of the match, making it easier to watch.

Kane v Mark Henry is going to be difficult enough to watch, let alone with them limited to in ring action. I’ll go for Henry to take this match, due to the seemingly never-ending push to get this overweighted, overrated, boring, bumbling waste of airtime over with the fans. It will never happen. Sometimes I wonder if Mark Henry has incriminating photos of Stephanie or something, and if he isn’t pushed he’ll reveal his secret. And sometimes I just cry quietly.

Since One Night Stand originated as an ECW idea, and features extreme matches, it only seems right to feature the only two remaining individuals who really embody the spirit of the old Ee-cee-dubya. Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman.

These two ‘originals’ will team up with CM Punk to take on the New Breed of Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker and Elijah Burke. Punk and Burke stole the show at the last Pay Per View, Judgment Day, and will be hoping to be in a similar situation this time round.

This is a tough one to call, as I can’t really see the bookers getting behind Dreamer and Sandman (well, they haven’t done so far), but then Punk has been on a bit of a roll. I’ll sit on the fence: this is a good candidate to start the show, and if it does, then I’ll say a face win. Anywhere else on the card, and I’ll go for The New Breed.

You know, it feels hard to even write the initials ECW now. A once proud promotion, although time and nostalgia has made it seem a lot better than it really was, the modern day equivalent, although improving, is a pale imitation of the original. In fact, no it isn’t, it isn’t even an imitation.

There is no doubt that One Night Stand 2005 was one of the greatest Pay Per Views I have ever seen. Several excellent matches, one absolute belter with Tanaka and Awesome, and a killer promo by Paul Heyman were just some of the highlights.

Last year the main event saw Rob Van Dam winning the WWE’s major title from John Cena after RVD cashed in the money in the bank.

In the 2005 show, Van Dam was not an active wrestler on the show due to injury, although he did get involved in a Sabu v Rhino match. He did cut a promo, though, accompanied by Bill Alfonso, in which acknowledged the generally held belief that it was he, Rob Van Dam, who came up with the idea for One Night Stand in the first place.

So how fitting, then, that his contest with Randy Orton will likely be his last for the WWE. His future is subject to much speculation. It has been said for numerous months that he, along with his friend Sabu, was growing tired of competing for Vince McMahon. Censured for drugs offences, both men have been in the WWE doghouse for some time, and with Sabu having been let go, the burgeoning promotion and lighter work schedule of TNA is beckoning them. Other sources tell you that RVD will take some time off then return to WWE.

He could do both. Jeff Hardy had become disillusioned with WWE, joined TNA for a bit, then found his way home. Sabu has already competed for TNA, before it started to gain increased recognition.

In recent times, we’ve seen the departing Trish Stratus and Lita sign off in very different ways. Trish left as a face, (and what a lovely face it is) had her name chanted by the crowd, and won the Women’s title in her final bout. Lita, however, lost and was ridiculed, presumably in keeping with her heel persona.

RVD is a babyface, but I don’t see him leaving with a win. Look for the courageous underdog doing all he can but ultimately failing on Sunday night. Look at it for the WWE’s point of view. You have Randy Orton, a superstar who is over, placed near the top of the card, and logically the next contender to John Cena’s belt, depending on the draft. He has been credited on air with putting HBK on the shelf, and is halfway to doing the same to Van Dam.

On the other hand, some upstart who is still living on past glories in a minor promotion in a bingo hall in Phillie is too much of a big shot to sign a new contract. Who do you put over?

RVD is a supremely talented wrestler, and I sincerely hope that he gets whatever break he needs to recharge his batteries and return to the ring, whether a WWE one or a TNA one, as good as ever.

But he won’t win on Sunday, in the third incarnation of his own creation.

There are three world title matches on the card for One Night Stand. None of which really get me too excited about the show. All are basically rematches from the Pay Per View from a fortnight previous.

I do feel sorry for the WWE, what with their plethora of injuries. Think about it. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Ken Kennedy, Booker T, Rey Mysterio Super Crazy, Shane Helms, are all out at the moment, and apart from the last two, are all main event-level stars.

So I do feel for them having to keep it together in the face of one of the worst injury crises ever, but nonetheless, no-one is going to buy Pay Per Views out of compassion and sympathy. And there really isn’t much to write home about in terms of tempting matches to draw in the punters.

The one possible saving grace may by the Ladder match between the Hardys and Haas & Benjamin. There are a couple of factors to consider here. Firstly, we have seen multi-team ladder matches, major TLC matches, not to mention the money in the bank which both Hardy brothers competed in less than three months ago. This can’t live up to that.

Also, the build up……..well, has there been one? Basically, the WWE-proclaimed-Self-proclaimed World’s Greatest Tag Team watched a match at ringside then fought in an 8 man tag with Nitro & Dysktra against The Hardys and Cade & Murdoch. Common sense says a four-way tag ladder match is the sensible booking, especially considering that Dykstra and Nitro both seem suited to this environment, but I would think the storyline with Cade & Murdoch supporting the Hardys is the reason for keeping them out of it.

Benjamin was awesome in two money in the bank matches, and Haas can go, so I expect this to be the best match of the night. Can’t see the Hardys dropping, maybe Johnny and Kenny will try to assist TWGTT, but Lance and Big Trev will even the score, with the Hardys retaining.

Edge v Batista is the trickiest match to call of all. This is quite simply the only two remaining headliners in the company apart from John Cena (I still don’t consider Lashley a headliner whatever they try to tell me) who are fit. The only other option, potentially, is Chris Benoit, but he hasn’t been considered that highly in a long time.

The problem here is twofold. Firstly, Edge v Ken Kennedy is the obvious, and as I understand, planned, feud upon Mr K’s return. Considering Edge, in the storyline at least, was responsible for Mr. Kennedy losing his Money in the Bank title shot, you’d think that this contest would be Kennedy trying to win the title from champion Edge.

So you keep the belt on Edge then? Don’t want to have a transitional champion again, really, do we? And Edge does deserve his run. Ok…….what happens to Batista? He has been Beaten by the Undertaker, then tried to get the belt back twice more, unsuccessfully, from the Deadman. One attempt at Edge was unsuccessful, although they played up a leg injury. So if Batista doesn’t win this time, then is his credibility sliding somewhat?

I wondered whether the draft will see Batista being placed on the same roster as John Cena, giving us this feud for the first time, really. As I understand it, Kennedy is due back in July, so maybe a month for Edge v Benoit, or they could switch Orton to face Edge, continuing their unfinished business.

Moving away from my fantasy booking, which is clearly me stalling before having to make a prediction, I think Edge will win. To be fair, it is more a latter prediction making me think this, but all of the above has an impact as well.

One final thought on the draft – it is a superb opportunity to draft someone to a show who is returning and could make a big splash, putting a fresh name at the top of the card. Chris Jericho anyone?

I think it is likely that Vince v Lashley will top the bill, so I would expect that John Cena v The Great Khali will precede this, maybe with the Divas match in between the two.

I don’t see this being anything other than Cena winning a short (10 mins?) match after an FU, putting him over as being able to beat a big man, as well as putting him over his shoulders and slamming him to the mat.

Again, this is a match which is not exactly mouth watering, but basically forced upon the booking team. This, I suspect, is a major reason for the draft.

Finally, then, Bobby Lashley v Vince McMahon. Street Fight – which means that at some point Shane and Umaga will get involved. I don’t have any doubt in my mind when I say Bobby Lashley will win. He is a Vince McMahon pet project, and will win this match and the ECW title. The only thing I can’t work out is how.

To me there are three options, I don’t know which is more plausible. This is all assuming that Umaga and Shane will stick their noses in.

Firstly, Lashley overcomes the odds. Theoretically, he has done it once, beating the trio of Umaga, McMahon and McMahon (that sounds like the shittest bunch of solicitors ever, doesn’t it?) at Judgment Day. So the first option here is he just destroys everything and everyone in his path.

Secondly, he wins after a cock up by Team McMahon. Think Vince holding Bobby in position for Umaga, who swings the spike at Lashley, but clocks the Boss. Lashley gets rid of Shane and the Bulldozer, and simply pins Vince. Other options could involve Shane clocking Vince. Whether either of these would lead to dissention in the ranks and even a turn, who knows, but its possible.

Lastly, Lashley (not easy to say) wins by virtue of being saved by someone. So Vince, Shane and Umaga are in the midst of a beatdown, and Lashley is saved by someone in the back. I can’t see this happening, because it would suggest that Bobby can’t get it done by himself, and seemingly the whole point of the feud is to put him over as a bit of a monster.

I’ll go for the first one, tentatively. By the way, because I think Lashley will cap off the show with a win is why I’ve tipped Edge to beat Batista. I can’t see three major babyface title wins, especially when two of them would see the belt changing hands.

Enjoy One Night Stand, I’ll be back with my thoughts early next week.

WWE Judgment Day - thoughts and reaction

12.50AM.

I read Wrestlecrap earlier this weekend. RD says to watch because might be historic Wrestlecrap. I truly fear for this PPV. And for me having to justify to myself that I spent 15 quid on it. But you never know. Carlito v Flair may be passable. If they give Punk and Burke enough time it might be worth it. Hopeuflly Edge/Batista will tell a good story, and Benoit/MVP I am happy to see again.

But Cena versus an immobile non-anglophone? An injured HBK? And a roster devoid of Triple H, The Undertaker, Ken Kennedy, Booker T, Rey Mysterio and maybe HBK? This is a genuine crisis. Y2J could make a fortune, you know.

01.05am

Preliminaries done, and it looks like we are opening the show with Carlos Jr and Naitch. A bit insta-feud, but its brought Carlito on a little bit.

JR keeps putting over St Louis. Perhaps to suggest Flair and Carlito are ARCH enemies.

01.20am
I loved the old school heel tactic for Carlito to work on his foe’s arm. I loved the feel of this whole opener. Carlito proved he doesn’t have to rely on the rather contrived stringboard moves. It felt very much like a real scrap between two folks who particularly care for one another. I particularly like it when faces kick out at one all the time. Gives matches a more authentic feel, I think.

I’m a little disappointed Carlito didn’t win. I’ll be pacified if the feud ends with a Carlito win, but surely the point of putting a young buck like The Young Mr. Colon with a legend like Flair is to further the younger guy’s career. Not to have him dominate a body part for 10 minutes then lose to move we all knew was coming.

01.23am
HBK: “He’s Bald, King”. Interview with Todd Grisham. No wait, HBK: He’s Been Knocked-out. Orton attacks him from behind. The reason? HBK: His Bad Knee.

01.29am
After a lengthy video package, here comes……….the money. ECW title match and our first repeat of a Backlash match. I fully expected Lashley to win until I read about Lashley v McMahon at One Night Stand. Surely Lashley wins the blow off match, and if he wins against 3 guys, then why wouldn’t he beat one of them?

01.31am
I make it 7 minutes since I started my last entry, and most of that was taken up by entrances. That wasn’t what I expected, Lashley to win it that quickly, but it sort of backs up my previous statement, as D-D-D-Dusty Finish baby. Lashley needs to beat Vince to take the belt? I expect Bobby v Vince at ONS, extreme rules.

02.00am
My faith is beginning to be restored. They gave Punk and Burke nearly 20 minutes, and that might just be the best match the ‘new’ ECW has seen. It depressed me to hear CM Punk get nowhere near the reception that Lashley or Flair got, and then a scattering of “boring chants”. However, I sincerely hope that this was the Pay Per View single match that starts the CM Punk bandwagon rolling towards stardom.

And while I feel the former Chick Magnet is the one en route to superstardom, we shouldn’t discount the contribution of Elijah Burke either. I thought the match, though far from perfect, was a solid 4-star encounter, and if this is the new product direction, I;m all for it.

02.04am
Either Orton cracked HBK hard in the head or the former Kliq member has been drinking from his buddy Scott Hall’s pitcher. It’s a shot in the head concussion angle, and lets face it, it won’t be long until Shawn’s hair resembles Perry Saturn. Mind you, if he faced Randy Orton with Moppy, Orton would still put a chinlock on the mop. Then use the mop to tidy the mess in his hotel room. Allegedly.

02.10am
Although I appreciate they had to book around it, I thought there could surely have been a better way of sorting the Orton/HBK match out. Firstly, that could only hurt Orton was made to look stupid when floored for over minute when Michaels hit exactly one move. I don’t mind the after match RKO, but the wife’s overreaction was a bit much, and the logic of the match was flawed. If the doctors don’t allow the match to take place, then it doesn’t take place. And if the ref starts it, why finish it.

However, I’ll shut up now because the situation was damned difficult for them to sort out. With them trying to keep HBK strong, despite being crippled, and having Orton as the dominant one, but him being in the doghouse supposedly. To be fair, I cant really think of a better alternative.

Err, Edge says he has had the best two weeks ever? Didn’t he lose on Monday night?

02.18am
It’s the Hardys v Cade and Murdoch, being called by Cole and JBL for some reason? With three official Raw superstars, one Smackdown guy who has frequently appeared on Raw, a Raw referee and an angle which we have only seen on Raw, we have the Smackdown commentators.

Maybe its like Brian Christopher and Jerry Lawler. What with JBL being Cade’s father and all.

02.35am
So The Hardys do it. Fairly standard tag match. Neither spectacular nor sub-par, what annoyed me was that there were no real false finishes. I might have let Cade and Murdoch hit their finisher and have a couple of other spots to make me think that the title might change hands.

Murdoch and Cade did, however, shake hands. Which makes you wonder where they are going with that. But not too much.

02.40am
Its time for the hastily, but understandably, booked Edge v Batista match. Edge is, in my opinion, the strongest hand the WWE have right now, and placing him in a programme with someone we haven’t really seen him feud with, like Batista, is exciting. I’m just trying to work out what they will do with Batista when Kennedy comes back, because a hot face Kennedy v hated heel Edge should be a money match……….money in the bank, if you will.

02.47am
AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! Sorry for the mid-match note, but Cole says that Edge “Literally picked the bones like a vulture.” No he didn’t, you ill-educated fool, he didn’t literally do it, he figuratively did it.

JBL just dropped a Carl Jung reference. Cole probably thinks he was one of the Dragons in WCW.

Actually JBL was full of gems in this one. Capriciousness? Sycophancy? Damn, they have Word of the Day toilet paper in Wall Street? Or maybe Matt Striker is finally getting through to someone.

02.57am
Christ, what with these two, Lashley, there are more spears than Zulu in this company now.

02.58am
A relatively sharp victory for Edge, and nice for him to win clean, via the (kayfabe) leg injury of Big Dave, rather than a rope hold or a ref bump.

03.03am
A seriously pointless Diva segment where they all discuss who will win the WWE title match. Krystal ends by saying that she predicts pain. That was certainly painful, so she probably knows what she is talking about. She is an extremely odd shape, Krystal. What with her stick thin build but surgically enhanced chest, and her man Teddy Long’s little head, they look like a couple of mannequin rejects. I’d be worried if I were them – they may fall asleep and Al Snow will try rip them apart for gimmick purposes.

Still, the segment featured ‘all’ the WWE divas. I think I counted eleven, with Torrie and Cherry conspicuous by their absence. With a dozen or more sources of talent like that, how easy do you think Rob the likes of Rob Conway and Nick Mitchell will sleep tonight?

03.05am
Benoit and MVP go at it again. This would have made more sense if MVP had taken one of the previous encounters, making the two out of three fall stipulation more appropriate, but I have enjoyed their matches thus far, so I’ll just try to enjoy.

03.20am
Another cracking little display from these two. Ironic that they have been given the slot normally reserved for the women’s match comedy spot. Well these two men were deadly serious, and didn’t let us down. And things have been finished in the appropriate manner, advancing the character of MVP, and I would say placing him in far higher regard than anyone could possibly have thought three months ago. Although, I have to say, my Sun colleague Simon insisted to me, Pre-Wrestlemania, that this guy could be big. I now believe him.

03.27am
And here we go. Gotch and Hackenschmidt. Funk and Lawler. Flair and Steamboat. Hart and Austin. Michaels and Angle. And now Cena and Khali.

03.39am
Mercifully it was fairly short. As will be my comments about it. Logic suggests Cena v Orton has to be imminent. However, my common sense tells me logic rarely has anything to do with booking. One Night Stand is two weeks away. Tomorrow’s Raw could have some very interesting signposts to how the summer may pan out.

Overall a pretty impressive show considering my expectations and the limitations imposed on the WWE by mother Nature and the fickle finger of Fate. A superb Burke/Punk match. Another great installment of Benoit/MVP. A quality opener with Carlito and Flair. A solid enough tag title match. Orton/HBK we’ll let pass. Ironic, really, that the three major title matches were the least impressive matches. Edge and Batista will need some fast build up and some sort of gimmick match ramp-up, Lashley v McMahon seems nailed on, and the ECW title match tonight was largely geared for that. To be fair, another 3 on 1 would have only really have been the same as their Backlash match.

If forced to put a rating on Judgment Day lets go 7.5 out of ten. I think that’s fair for an eight match card which had three great matches, but none of them major title encounters.

Backlash Thoughts

A few thoughts then, on last night’s Backlash Pay Per View, and in summary, I am glad it was NOT Pay to view here in the UK.

The show itself was not wholly bad, but they really will have a problem if they continue to try to retain the Tri-branded feel to the events.

Every match on the Pay Per View was a title match. That might sound like a good thing, but actually there are so many titles now that the novelty value diminishes, and that matches become a little less special. Let’s take it match by match…….

The Hardys def. Cade & Murdoch
Although Matt and Jeff are a major hand for the WWE, there is now a problem because there are no credible challengers. When The Hardys were on top before, you had Edge and Christian, The Dudleys, The Acolytes, Too Cool and The New Age Outlaws/Road Dogg & X-Pac at various times. Now, Cade & Murdoch on RAW, and Deuce & Domino and Kendrick & London on SD are the only real teams out there. I can only see Matt & Jeff having to feud at some point.

The match itself was fairly solid, but I don’t think anyone thought for a second that Cade and Murdoch would go over, did they? Sound opener, though, I suppose, and standard fare to allow an early face pop.

Melina def. Mickie James
Another retention by the champion, and Melina is looking increasingly sound as a worker. Mickie is probably the most technically sound female in the company, and I would like to see whether, now that all PPVs will be tri-branded, whether the Woman’s title will be open to all, because Jillian is fast improving. Remember Victoria is in the equation, and actually the division isn’t looking all that bad.

The match, once again, was fairly average, but then there has been relatively no build up except for the fact that Mickie wants the belt back. Melina is best rounded character in the Divas division though, so understandable that she retained.


Before the US title match, there was a backstage interview where Maria quizzed Edge, but he was interrupted by Ken Kennedy. He teased that he would cash in the money in the bank after the fatal fourway for the WWE championship. He ultimately didn’t, but I kinda like the idea that he might continually tease this. I like running threads that play out eventually, but take a while to culminate. Hopefully this will be used well enough – I think that Kennedy has the potential to be the next Rock. I genuine rate him that highly.


Chris Benoit def. MVP
A third consecutive title is retained, but MVP, both here and at Wrestlemania, has really impressed me. This was the bets match of the night, and Benoit utilizing a small package to win reminded me of Bret Hart, who very often did not win matches with the Sharpshooter, instead often finding pinning combination to close bouts out.

Benoit is floundering a bit though. I’m begging to see him be given a run at the top, especially on RAW. Benoit taking on Edge or HBK would be a money feud, and Cena does need fresh competition.

Onto the “World” titles then, and…………….wait for it………….

Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and Umaga def. Bobby Lashley – Vince McMahon is the ECW champion.
I am now fully convinced that the whole ECW experiment has all along been for four purposes. One was to give various talent something to do, especially RVD, who management is tired with despite the fact the fans are not, and others that the fans have not accepted, like Snitsky, Striker and Thorn. The second function is that future stars like CM Punk and possibly Elijah Burke and Monty Brown can gradually get themselves ready for the big time – like a bigger version of OVW. Thirdly, it’s a chance to figure Bobby Lashley as a main eventer, which he clearly isn’t, because he has about as much personality as Boogeyman’s worms, and wrestles exactly the same as Batista.

And fourth, and most importantly, ECW is to be used as Vince’s plaything, to be buried, in exactly the same way that WCW was, and that Eric Bischoff was. Mission accomplished. God knows where they go from here. The fact is, hardly anyone cared about the ECW championship anyway, and now even less will. Sure, Vince is entertaining, and the whole Trump thing was good stuff, but do we really need Vince as 2-time world champion, which technically is what he is?

Undertaker and Batista draw a last man standing match. Taker retains the title.
You know what this means don’t you? A third go round of this feud, and I’d suspect that a Hell in a Cell match might be on the horizon, although they might go with a ‘Taker special’ like a Buried Alive or a casket match. This match was good for what it was. It was never going to be like an Angle/Michaels, or a Jericho/Benoit affair, so to be fair these guys, it served its purpose well, if the ending was a little contrived.

The beauty of having Taker as the World champ is that there is an opportunity to really elevate someone who makes it to the top. Let’s say for example Edge, or Kennedy, or someone challenges The Undertaker for his belt, and takes it, they can always have that claim, just like Jericho could talk about the first ever Undisputed title, having beaten Rock and Austin. The trouble is, they’ll make it bloody Mysterio, who I think is a fabulous performer, but do you buy the fact that he could beat the Undertaker? No. Please don’t let it be Rey who finally kills off the Deadman.

John Cena def. Randy Orton, Edge and Shawn Michaels
I don’t know whether I liked the ending of this or not. Firstly, I thought ths might be the opportunity WWE would take to take the belt off of Cena, because I really think they will soon, only to have it him take it back quickly, like previously with Edge and Van Dam. However, they didn’t, and managed to book the match to make HBK look like the star, so I sense another Cena v HBK match, because that’s now RAW and then Backlash where HBK has looked the better man, but Cena still has the strap.

Cena is good for business, simple as, so for those that don’t like him, get used to it. It’s a major trump card for the WWE, because on one hand you could have the old Ric Flair in NWA syndrome, where the hated Flair was on top, and was so despised that people turned out and tuned in to see him get toppled. Some may do this with Cena. Others (kids, mainly, but some others) love him so their most over superstar is the champ.

Personally, I admire Cena for what he has achieved. He isn’t very technically sound, but neither is Batista. Neither is Taker anymore, but they because they are big men, they wrestle differently. I witnessed Cena v HBK live in London, and it was outstanding, and it takes two to tangle.

Judgment Day is three weeks away. Expect Cena v HBK in some sort of gimmick match (Ladder? Iron Man?) and Taker v Batista in a cell or Casket. You hear it here first.

The Not-so-Hardcore diary: Part Two

Tuesday 24th April

6.50pm
After a day working in Wapping in the offices of The Sun, I arrive at Earls Court a little latter than last evening, as the prospect of buying drinks for £3.60 rather than getting them free from a table stacked with them rankles with me slightly.

I meet up with Stu and Rich, two guys I bumped into and shared a drink with post-show last night. Turns out that Stu is a fellow journo who I only met because he was sat directly in front of me at RAW, and noticed my furious pen-scribbling. He knows Simon in a convoluted way, and after conversations take many twists, it turns out that he went to the same university and did the same course as me. Small world.

The three of us hang around near the entrance to the backstage area, and get a quick glance at Smackdown GM Teddy Long, as well as all 5 members that beganh the night as the New Breed. Matt striker is startlingly small.

7.30pm
The show begins with a dark match which turns out to be probably the best match all night. And there are to be some good ones. Matt & Jeff Hardy take on Shane Helms (I can’t call him Gregory) and Chavo Guerrero, as those in our section mutter that potentially the four most talented athletes in the building are jerking the curtain in a mcth that no-one else will see.

The Hardys remind me of the Dudleys and The Road Warriors, in that they are so, so much better as a unit, although Matt & Jeff probably have more ability that either Hawk, Animal, Bubba or D-Von as singles wrestlers.

Oh, the Hardys won by the way.

Tazz and Joey Styles make their way out, as I spot Shane Warne, legendary cricketer in the front row, accompanied by loads of blokes with almost identical blond highlights.

After last night’s Cena/HBK main event, we now get another Wrestlemania rematch, as Umaga emerges to do battle with Lashley. Sans McMahon and Trump. Well, there’s no Vince to begin with, as The Boss does emerge later on, after Estrada interferes, drawing the DQ, then gets launched, and I mean really launched, by Lashley.

Several New Breed backstage segments are piped into the arena throughout the ECW taping, and are met with no reaction. Poor Punk.

A group of kids behind me begin a small “We want Divas” chant. Ah, start ‘em young, eh?

Snitsky, looking like an Anaemic Kane, squashes Balls Mahoney. Why isn’t Balls in the originals?

The main event of Eeseedubya is a 4 on 4 Survivor Series-style elimination match, with Burke, Brown (not Cor Von), Striker and White Fang (Thorn) taking on Sabu, RVD, Dreamer and Sandman.

CM Punk is instructed by Burke to take a seat and watch and ringside, and (shock, and indeed, horror) costs Burke the match, deliberately. So either this was a hastily conceived angle that they decided to rush through in two weeks, or they panicked at making Punk a heel and decided to switch him back. Either way, it shows just how painful ECW is right now.

Ropes change, commentator change, tron image change, and it’s time for Smackdown!

A cool spot opens the show as Batista is shown on the big screen fighting with Kennedy, before the cameraman gets bumped, cutting the feed. Big Dave then emerges, grappling now with Finlay, before being jumped by Mr K.

BONG! And the lights go out. When they come back on, Undertaker is in the ring. BONG! And the lights go out. When they come back on, Undertaker is no longer in the ring.

Teddy Long makes Taker & Batista v Kennedy & Finlay in a shocking announcement which shocked……well no-one, but it should be pretty cool.

BANG! Kane’s pyro is the loudest thing I have ever heard in my life, and when you are not expecting it, is even worse. I sense people laughing at my rather girly reaction, and brace myself Boogeyman’s pyro, which is right up there. Last night fireworks were at a premium, tonight its like Fawkes and Catesby have provided the goods they tried to in 1605.

And speaking of conspiratorial Englishmen here come Steve (not William) Regal and Dave Taylor, and a surprisingly good contest follows. The same pattern as last night is followed, with children who know no better (or have not been taught to be patriotic) cheer the face team, while the rest of back Regal and Taylor.

The Boogeyman is the most animated tag partner I’ve ever seen, bouncing around the apron like a lunatic. However, it is Kane that spends about 15 minutes in the ring, Boogey takes about 30 second, before the bizarre team in red do the business.

Next, it’s London……in London. Paul London that is, accompanying Brian Kendrick, who takes on One of Deuce or Domino……….the ring announcer suggests it is Deuce, although absolutely no-one near me can tell the difference.

Deuce (who used to be called 40-30, and will soon have his name changed to ‘Advanatge’) gets the W with a stiff leg lariat, in a match which I personally enjoyed, but I got the feeling that those who are not accustomed to psychological technical affairs.

Those that did enjoy the antics of the boys who evoke memories of Grease, will probably be Hopelessly Devoted to Wrestling, and will spend Summer Nights thinking it sThe One that They Want to see. Maybe.

More disturbing pyro as the ever-improving MVP hits the arena, and when announcing Scottish Champion “Hamlet MacBeth”, provides the line of the night. After a weak Braveheart gag, Montel informs us that Mr MacBeth can shoot lightening bolts form his Arse. Quality. If you don’t get it, go watch Braveheart. A cracking film, despite being historical bollocks.

MacBeth gets squashed (“out, damn high spot”) and wait……is this a US Champion I see before me? Out comes Benoit, and we have our third Wrestlemania rematch of the week. However, MVP does a walkout, which we kind of expected, seeing as they will fight at Backlash. Benoit was perhaps as over as any wrestler from any brand, up there with HBK, RVD and Taker, and the still Pro-Bret fans in the UK went wild for the Sharpshooter.

Next, it’s Jillian, sans Hall, and look at those……I mean her. She gets the stick and vocally hits on Prince William, calling Kate Middleton ‘trailer park trash’ and refers to the heir to the throne as ‘little Willy’. Hmm.

Anyway, her usual crooning, she is interrupted my Michelle, who comes out to a McCool reception, and actually the match proves that Jillian can work. Ironically, a crap singer wins the match with a modified X-Factor.

Major pop for Ken Kennedy. IN fact it reminded me of a Kurt Angle reaction. You know, pop like crazy as a reaction to his music, then remember he is a heel and boo him. Kennedy is the standout breakthrough star of the last 12 months. Like Brown is the new black, Money in the Bank is the new Royal Rumble. Kennedy deserves his title shot.

Mr Kennedy intersperses his normal mic work with a couple of cheap digs at Football (soccer) and then is joined by Fit Finley, both looking like Romanian players at the 1998 World Cup.

Batista gets a big pop – and so do my eardrums with his pyro. Although I was more prepared this time. Taker comes out, and I swear they put the air-con on in the arena, it genuinely got cold. Unless they were genuine goose bumps, which is possible.

Not a memorable match, made all the more annoying for me when they make a NO DQ stipulation……..but then make the illegal man wait on the apron. But it’s no-DQ, so why are you stopping him?

After a cracking ring exit spot, Taker walks the ropes, and for some reason the people shout for a Vince Vaughn film?

The ref is then distracted by Kennedy, to allow Finlay to hit a shillelagh shot……BUT ITS NO DQ!!!

Batista gets the pin after a Taker chokeslam, and then gets the mic and proclaims that he will win the belt back. This elicits boos, and Taker’s rebuttal is met with approval. This is where the shows ends.

So, there we go. The first time I’ve attended wrestling events for over 10 years. And the two most over superstars, the two booked as the most dominant on each brand, were Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. The two active performers who have been on the roster longest on the top.

What glass ceiling?